Chapter 36
MINJI
Two weeks pass quickly through a series of client meetings and meditations; increasingly subtle emails from the partners, ‘circling back’ on my career path now that I’ve lost my golden ticket.
Caleb’s email about an essential meeting on Friday prompts me to respond in flawless, steel-strong legal language, even though I want to rip the keyboard out and use it as a weapon.
Friday comes, and despite the hot August morning, my hands are freezing as I step inside the elevator and push the button to the forty-seventh floor.
The conference room is already half full when I arrive, and the chill of recycled air is worse than the ice in my veins.
William has stationed himself nearest the screen, with a sheaf of manila folders fanned out in a display that screams, ‘Look at me, I’m partner material.
’ No sign of Caleb yet, just the low hum of sharks circling.
He slaps a few printouts on the table with a booming voice.
“Thanks, everyone, for making time. Our agenda is packed, so we’ll keep this brief.
Let’s start with the elephant in the room,” he states, straightforwardly.
“As everyone knows, the Hui-Wang file is no longer with us, which leaves some gaps, but we’ll manage.
Minji, I want to recognize your effort. You’ve handled the transition professionally and secured two high-value clients in the past ten days. ”
Of course, I’ve been hustling. It would be a waste to relax.
“Nevertheless, the decision has been made. William will move to Seoul in three months as our new managing partner,” Caleb concludes, his baritone calming the atmosphere. “Congratulations are in order.”
William’s smile diminishes, nearly invisible, as if he’s surprised that I didn’t scorch the room with my look. The applause is modest and restrained, with everyone frozen in a courteous paralysis. My vision narrows for a brief moment and I have to clench my nails into my palm to remain grounded.
I anticipated this. I practiced for it. Yet, the grief overtakes me like a fever—sometimes I feel like a glacier, and other times I flush with heat, on the verge of throwing my coffee at William and reading him his last rites.
“Caleb, I thought the decision for partner wasn’t going to be decided until October?” Jasmyn questions.
“He’s been outperforming projections.” Caleb is quick, as if he anticipated the challenge. “Also, all the other partners thought it was best to—”
“The Thornton case isn’t finalized yet. I thought partner was going to be based on how one performs on that case?
” I speak up, no longer able to stay quiet.
Clearly, everything discussed at the partner’s dinner was nonsense.
It seems William was going to get the position regardless of my performance on the Hui-Wang case.
“Performance matters,” Caleb says, his gaze flicking to William, then back to me. “But so does leadership, and—”
“Visibility,” I finish, unable to tamp the edge in my voice. “That’s what you mean. Schmoozing. Optics.”
“Everyone, clear the room. I need to speak with Minji alone.” Caleb sighs.
The silence after the shuffle is suffocating.
Jasmyn shoots me a sympathetic look, and even William looks less triumphant than I imagined.
Maybe he’s finally realized his coup is an empty chair at a fancier table.
When the door hisses shut, Caleb sinks in his seat, arms crossed like a disappointed dad.
“We both knew this would happen,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you? Because I did everything right.”
He nods, not meeting my eyes. “You did. But there are—”
“I’ve generated more billable hours for this firm than any other associate at my level for years. I brought in the Hui-Wang to begin with, and now I’m being punished because they reconciled?”
“No one’s punishing you,” Caleb says, though his tone suggests otherwise. “But actions have consequences.”
My stomach drops. “So that’s it? William gets the partnership because a client decided to work on their marriage.”
“It’s not personal—”
“?? ??? ?? (Get the fuck outta here).” At times like this, I love that I’m the only person in the office who knows Korean.
“What I said was this is entirely personal, and we both know it.” That’s a fucking lie.
If he really knew what I said, I would probably be looking for a new law firm.
“William has connections because of his family, while I’ve worked twice as hard for half the recognition.
I’ve smiled through patronizing comments and swallowed my pride when mediocre men took credit for my ideas for my cases. ”
“Minji—”
“No.” I interrupt, surprising both of us. “I think I need to explore other opportunities,” I remember what that woman said on the plane. This isn’t the only path.
“This isn’t like you, Minji.”
“Maybe it’s time I challenged myself.”
“Are you saying you are quitting?”
“No, I didn’t say that, but you will be one of the first people to know if I am leaving the firm,” I reply, standing up. “Thank you for your time.”
Caleb’s expression shifts from mild irritation to genuine concern. “Minji, let’s not make any rash decisions. Why don’t you leave early today and take the weekend to think things through? Clear your head.”
“I don’t need to ‘clear my head’. My head is perfectly clear.” I move toward the door, then pause with my hand on the handle. “But I will take the time to consider my options.”
“The partnership isn’t completely off the table,” he says, though we both know it is. “There will be other opportunities.”
“Will there?” I turn back to face him. “Or will there always be another William waiting to swoop in at the perfect moment?”
I don’t wait for his answer. I open the door and step into the hallway, closing it firmly behind me. I walk by Jasmyn’s office, and she’s already flagging me down to come inside. Of course, she wants to know about everything.
“Get in here,” Jasmyn mouths urgently, waving her hand in a frantic come-hither motion.
With a sigh, I step into her office. She closes the door behind me with a soft click.
“Are you okay?” she asks immediately. “And don’t give me that ‘I’m fine’ bullshit.”
I sink into the chair across from her desk, suddenly feeling the full weight of the past forty-eight hours. “I honestly don’t know.”
Jasmyn studies me for a moment, then pulls open her desk drawer and produces a silver flask. “Bourbon?”
“It’s ten in the morning,” I point out. “We shouldn’t be drinking on the job; that’s the quickest way to get fired.”
“You’re right, but you just walked out of the conference room looking like you either quit or got fired,” she counters, pouring a finger of amber liquid into a coffee mug. “So, which is it?”
I accept the mug, swirling the bourbon but not drinking. “Neither. Yet.”
“Cryptic. I like it.” Jasmyn leans forward. “So, what’s going on?”
“Besides it being Aaron who cost me the partnership, nothing is going on.”
“How the hell did he cost you your partnership?”
I inhale the scent of the bourbon as much as I want to drink it, but I would never do something like this on the job. “He met the Wangs at the gym while he was shadowing me and apparently played relationship counselor. Convinced them to work on their marriage.”
“Holy shit,” she whispers as her eyes widen. “So, he’s the reason they reconciled?”
“Yes, he told me.”
“I never like to come to a man’s defense, but are you sure he cost you the partnership, or is the system rigged against anyone without a penis and a golf membership?”
I stare at her.
“What? You think I don’t see it, too?” She gestures toward the door.
“I’ve been here four years longer than you, and I’m still waiting for them to notice my billables.
All that talk at the partners’ dinner was just talk.
They say the same thing every three years.
They tell us that if we go the extra mile, it will look good and fast-track us.
We all know that’s bullshit. They just want us to do the extra work for the same fucking pay.
Yes, we get paid great, but it’s not enough, especially in New York City. ”
I sit back in the chair, letting Jasmyn’s words sink in. She’s right, and I’ve known it all along. I’ve just been too afraid to admit it to myself.
“So, what are you saying? That I should just forgive Aaron because the firm was going to screw me over anyway?”
Jasmyn shakes her head. “I’m not saying anything about Aaron. This is about you, Minji. What do you want? Not what your family wants, not what society expects, not what looks good on paper. What does Minji Lee actually want?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well,” Jasmyn begins, “maybe that’s what you need to figure out.”
I stand up, suddenly needing to move, to breathe. “I should get back to work.”
“Sure.” Jasmyn doesn’t push. “But Minji? Whatever you decide about the firm, about Aaron, I’ve got your back.”
I nod, grateful for her loyalty. “Thank you for the pep talk. You need to hide this liquor before you get in trouble.” I place the mug she gave me on the desk.
Jasmyn rolls her eyes. “Who’s gonna look in here? Nobody. When my door is closed, everyone knows not to bother me.”
I manage a smile, then step into the corridor.
The whole floor is already buzzing, word of my ‘showdown’ with Caleb pinging around like it’s the latest streaker at a Yankees game.
I return to my office, log out of all the case files, and close my eyes.
For the first time since undergrad, I have absolutely no idea what to do tomorrow.