Chapter 13
Eot
Ichase after Keelo.
“She can get off our scudding ship,” he says over his shoulder, correctly predicting what I’d been about to say.
“Halley doesn’t know what she’s talking about. That doesn’t make her a bad person.” I catch hold of the door as it’s sliding closed, and it recedes to let me into our shared room. We didn’t use to share, but there are two sleeping cabins, and Rin needed one.
He flops onto his hammock, and it sways gently with the addition of his weight.
“I don’t have time to teach Rin math. Do you?
” I park my ass in my own hammock, letting the slight back and forth motion shift me closer to Keelo.
At the height of the arc, I kick his side—not hard enough to hurt, just enough to catch his attention.
The kick sends me backward, and I bump against the wall behind.
“I didn’t say Halley was bad,” he grumbles sourly, arms crossed and staring up at the empty ceiling. “Stop fooling yourself into thinking everything will be solved by a positive attitude. It won’t be, and we can’t take on more responsibility when we’re barely dealing with our load as it is.”
“Hmm.” Making a noncommittal sound, I lie down so that I’m hanging parallel to my other half. I can’t deny the truth of some of his words. Not the bit about me being too positive; I’ve heard that lecture a thousand times, and I’m never going to agree with it.
But the part about us being overwhelmed is probably true. It’s only been a few weeks since our exile. We’re still finding our footing, still trying to carve out a new space in the universe for ourselves.
Still…it feels wrong ordering Halley to leave when she’s clearly so desperate to escape Lyd. And, well, I’d be lying if I denied that my physical attraction to the breeding female didn’t have a large something to do with finding her attractive.
I think back to the cockpit and to my body’s undeniable reaction to her scent, when she had smelled of herself and our soap. Ours. Even now, the thought comes unbidden. Just as it had back in the cockpit. Just as releasing my aphrodisiac pheromones had been an unconscious response.
It’s never been like that before. Overwhelming. Consuming.
And it wasn’t just me who’d felt it. I saw desire in Keelo’s eyes. I recognized how tight his neck and shoulders were, in his fight against releasing his own pheromones.
Then again, until recently, Keelo and I haven’t gone out of our way to seek the company of breeding females, confident in our belief that we’d one day soon be formally assigned to a mating pair, an honor granted by the Elders Coalition to those Arrok who prove themselves worthy in their initiation trials.
For five years that was our goal, our sole focus—to be viewed as “worthy.” To be accepted by our own people and granted permission to start our own family.
Then, by pure chance, we met Rin. Rin who desperately needed someone to save her from that same honor-based system we were hoping to profit by. Between one heartbeat and the next, Keelo and I gave up everything we believed in. Everything we hoped for. And we fled, stealing Rin with us.
It’s a scudding mess of a situation. Ridiculous, even, that life on the run with two outlaws is healthier for Rin than her old, lawful life back on Annka.
It would be so easy to let our monstrous side loose. Let him hunt Halley as if she were our prey. Let him toss her onto the floor and rut into her wet heat.
And then what? Force Halley to live the life of an exile? Force her to accept a life without even the smallest of luxuries, like friends, a permanent home, fresh food, and water that hasn’t been recycled a thousand times over?
Maybe Keelo is right. Maybe now isn’t a good time to be making another change in our lives. And it’s not merely ourselves we’ve got to think about; Rin’s safety is more important than me getting my cock wet.
“Besides,” Keelo adds, speaking into the silence, “she’s not Arrok.”
I glance over at him. There’s a furrow on his brow, but there usually is these days.
I haul myself out of my hammock, brushing hair out of my face.
“I’ll check on Rin,” I say, suddenly wanting to escape the confines of our shared room. “I’ll make sure Rin’s had some dinner and then I’ll tuck her in for the night.”
“Her door was locked,” Keelo says. “The last time I checked.”
“She’s angry,” I agree.
“She has every right to be.”