Eot
Keelo stands, apparently satisfied with Halley’s response, and loose stones crunch under the thick soles of his boots.
“You can take the first watch,” he says to her, using his I’m in command voice. “Wake me when it’s my turn.” And then he takes himself to bed, throwing a blanket over his head to block out what little light the stove emits.
I stand too, intending to follow. But something about the way Halley’s sitting with her head in her hands, her elbows on her knees, causes me to pause.
She’s evidently upset, and the part of me that’s closest to who I am when combined with Keelo thinks that she deserves to be miserable.
She hurt Rin, and nobody’s allowed to hurt Rin. Not even Halley.
But…there wasn’t any way she could’ve known how much of an impact her words would have.
I touch her shoulder, and she jumps, looking up at me.
“Do you, akh—” I don’t know how to ask the question at the forefront of my concern.
“When Keelo and I first met Rin, it was by accident. She’d been summoned to appear before the Elders Coalition, as we had been.
We…overheard what they were saying to her, and that was the moment our lives changed.
We knew we couldn’t leave her on Annka,” I explain.
“So you stole her.”
“Yes.” Although… “Can you really steal someone who wants to be stolen?”
“I…I guess not,” Halley agrees, her voice so soft it’s barely audible.
I kick at the ground, and a rock skids away. “Rin has always known who she is, and I’ve never needed to explain her to anyone. I don’t know”—akh!—“I don’t always have the right words,” I confess.
I never want to accidentally say the wrong thing, even when Rin’s sleeping and can’t hear us talking about her.
In fact, that almost makes it worse—that she isn’t being included in this conversation.
But we didn’t know how Halley would react and didn’t want to risk Rin’s feelings any more than they'd already been hurt.
“I get it,” Halley says, standing to face me, the top of her head not even level with my shoulders. “You’re her protector. You want to make everything right in her world. She’s lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to have her. She’s our daughter.” It’s the first time I’ve used that word. Daughter. It feels right, so I pluck up the courage to ask what I want to know, even though I’m still worried I’ll fek up the wording. “Do you accept Rin is female? Now that you know.”
My voice has a harsh edge to it I wasn’t expecting but that I don’t apologize for. A knot has taken up residence in my chest, and I’m gritting my jaw so tightly I feel like Keelo, when he sends the muscle in his cheek twitching with the force of his barely concealed emotions.
Even in the shadows, I see Halley blanch. “Of course, I do!” And she grips my arm, as if suddenly desperate to make me believe her.
I nod, some of my strain draining away. “Good. I wouldn’t want to have abandoned you in the desert.”
“Wait. You were going to leave me here?”
“Maybe.” No. But I wouldn’t have let her stay near Rin, that’s for sure.
She squeezes my arm. “Thanks for trusting me with the truth. Do you think…” She swallows. “Do you think Rin will forgive me?”
I look over to the youngling’s sleeping form. I’ve never felt protective of another person, not even of Keelo—he’s more than capable of looking after himself—until I met Rin. Sometimes I think we were meant to find her. “I think so.”
Halley releases a long breath, wiping her eyes with the cuff of her clothes. “Hey,” she says a moment later, her voice forcefully cheery. “You said you’d also been summoned to the—what did you call it?—elders council. What was that about?”
“The Elders Coalition.” I explain how Arrok pairs are sent away from our home for five years, during which time we must prove ourselves worthy of each being assigned a mate.
“Annka is a desert planet, much like this one,” I say.
“We must use what little water we have with great care, and that’s why not everyone is granted permission to start a family of their own. ”
“What happens if you don’t ‘prove your worth’?” she asks, wiggling two fingers in the air as she speaks.
“Then we’re banished.”
“Like you and Keelo—and Rin.”
“Akh…” I wince. “We were not banished, so much as outlawed.”
“What’s the difference?”
“If Keelo and I are found, another Arrok pair could kill us, return Rin to Annka, and claim our deaths as proof of their worthiness.”
“Wow, Eot. That’s fucked up!” Halley claps a hand over her mouth, muffling her too-loud exclamation.
Rin mutters in her sleep, kicking at her blankets, but doesn’t wake.
Keelo, on the other hand, is suspiciously quiet. So much so I’m willing to bet an entire day’s water ration that he’s listening to Halley and my conversation.
“You know that’s a stupid law?” Halley whispers, uncovering her mouth. “Nobody should have to prove their worth. Anybody who wants a family should be allowed one.”
“What of the scarce resources?”
“You’ve got spaceships, don’t you? Ship more water in from another planet. It’s not a hard problem to solve.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “It sounds to me like your elders council—”
“Elders Coalition.”
“—get off on the power trip of denying people basic human rights. I mean, basic Arrok rights. No wonder you rescued Rin. Fuck them for thinking they could tell you guys what to do. Fuck them for outlawing you. And doubly fuck them for being such stupid assholes!” She hisses the last insult, her breathing coming hard and fast, as if she has been running.
Or as if she is angry. Angry on my behalf.
My chest swells, and I straighten to my full height. Halley doesn’t think Keelo and I should be outcasts. Still, I feel that there is something important I need to correct.
“I don’t want to fuck the Elders Coalition.
They’re old. Really old. And I am not attracted to them.
I do not even think they would still be able to smell my pheromones they’re so old.
Not,” I hasten to add, “that I would ever perfume in their presence anyway.” The idea sends a shudder of distaste through my body.
“No.” Halley giggles, uncrossing her arms to press her hands to her cheeks.
She looks suddenly younger, like that. Vulnerable. And I remember how she’d fallen asleep on the floor of our ship her first time on board, so exhausted and so trusting of three strangers.
“I didn’t mean you should have sex with those old guys. I meant screw them for being such big losers.”
“Screw them into what?” I’m not any less confused by her explanation.
“Er, to a cliff face, preferably,” she suggests. “So that a sea monster can feast on their guts.”
“They are very old,” I remind her. “I do not think they could make a tasty meal. Not even for a sea creature.”
“Maybe not.” The corners of her mouth curve up, and she squeezes my arm again. “I really didn’t mean to scare Rin. I’ll make it up to her.”
“She’s been disappointed by a lot of people.”
“I’ve no intention of being one of them. I promise.”