Chapter Forty-Six
I wake up with the dull headache of a woman who drank an unreasonable amount of Aftershock shots last night and ended up at a house party in Paddington with some of Aled’s friends.
Eyes glued shut, I catch a whiff of something both disgusting yet familiar and entirely unexpected – the scent of premium kibble.
My hand flies out for my glasses. I open my eyes and shove them on to see, sitting uncharacteristically patiently at the end of my bed, Squish, a green bedazzled ribbon around his neck, and – hanging from that ribbon – a small pink envelope.
I blink in shock.
‘Squish?’ I gasp as, in response to signs of life, Squish bunny hops across the duvet into my arms. ‘Squish!’ I bury my head into his soft warm fur and start to laugh. He squeaks with joy, short tail thumping against the blankets. ‘Hello, good boy! Hello! How’ve you been?!’
He plants a kibbly-scented lick on the lens of my glasses.
‘Hold still!’ I say, and he immediately obeys, while I untie the letter from around his neck.
Oh God. I halt, my stomach sinking. What if River read my letter, decided he didn’t want to return and sent Squish back instead, on account of his accidentally stealing him and taking him to a parallel universe? And what if this here is his apology letter?
I grimace because, while I’m much, much happier these days, that scenario would be too mortifying, even for me.
I nervously tear open the pink envelope, my stomach dipping with nerves. I unfold the single sheet of paper, noticing, to my surprise, that the lines of handwriting across it are not River’s neat loop, but an unfamiliar, effervescent scrawl.
Dear Gertie,
This feels super weird. And if this is a prank by my brother – tricking me into writing a letter to the parallel universe love of his life, then I will be seriously fucked off.
I’m kidding. I know he’s telling the truth.
Because nothing else can explain the changed man that returned to Oakley Ranch a year ago.
And, he tells me, that’s thanks to you. Which means I want to thank you too – for making him happy and for convincing him that he’d be much happier teaching.
You were right. He is, and the Oakley Riding School is a huge success.
River tells me you wrote a whole series of books about my life?
I have to say, I am a little creeped out by this but nevertheless hope I was good company.
I love the idea that I’m somehow connected to someone in another world.
Someone I will never ever meet. Makes me feel special! And, like I said, a little creeped out.
Lots of love,
Cassidy Calhoun
Owner, Oakley Ranch
With shaking hands I press the letter against my chest. Cassidy! Oh my God. This is nuts. Cassidy? I have a letter from actual Cassidy! And she says that River’s riding school is a big success. So does that mean—
Squish starts barking madly, his tail thumping rapidly against the duvet.
‘What is it, Squish?’ I ask. And then I hear it. A familiar rumble of deep, sure laughter from outside my door. My heart leaps with joy, but my body freezes in case I’m having a hallucination, because how could one person be this lucky?
There it is again. My favourite sound.
Scooping Squish into my arms, I dive out of the door and into the hallway where – as if it’s completely normal – River steps out of Mrs Casablancas’ apartment, Mrs Casablancas close behind him.
When he sees me, he drops the huge suitcase he’s holding, eyes lighting up and immediately filling with tears. We stand across from each other and just stare. Quite unable to take it in.
It’s him.
River Oakley.
River.
‘You came back!’ I breathe.
River shrugs, swallows hard, eyes crinkling with delight. ‘Well, you see, I had to. Needed the ribbon of my hat replacing.’ He points at the hat on his head. ‘Thought I’d go for navy blue with green rhinestones this time.’
‘I am going to make a new ribbon,’ Mrs Casablancas says efficiently. ‘But there will be a fee, of course.’ She takes Squish from my arms, kissing him all over, much to his chagrin. ‘Maybe I’ll give you a small discount because you brought my dog back to me.’
I run to River, crashing into him, disappearing into his arms as he squeezes me tight.
He’s here. He’s really here.
‘It worked.’
‘It worked, Owl,’ he murmurs into my ear. He pulls back, eyes travelling across my top. ‘Nice T-shirt. Looks familiar. Take it off and give it back right now.’
‘I’ll catch up with you two later,’ Mrs Casablancas beams. ‘I shall wear my headphones so you two can make as much ruckus as you like while you do your rogering. And if my manifestation from last night is also answered, prepare for the sudden appearance of Kevin Costner at any moment!’
Once we’re back in my flat, River reaches into the back pocket of his jeans, pulling out a neatly folded piece of paper – the letter I wrote him.
‘I’ve had a go-bag packed since the day I got back to Bedlam Creek,’ he tells me.
‘A go-bag?’
‘A suitcase full of everything I might need. I’ve been hauling it, and Squish, around with me everywhere, every day for the last year. Just in case you somehow managed to pull off magic for a second time.’
‘Are you serious? Everywhere?’
‘Yep. Didn’t want to be caught again with nothing but a bag of jeans and my daddy’s harmonica. Then when I got your letter, knew you were attempting a ceremony, you better believe I got my things and planted myself by that tree.’
I laugh out loud, pressing my hands against his face, unable to believe that he is real beneath my touch. That he’s actually here.
‘Squish and I dozed off,’ River continues. ‘And then I woke up on the roof about an hour ago. Mrs Casablancas let me in with her spare key.’
I laugh and shake my head. ‘I said she could only have another spare key if she used it responsibly.’
‘I didn’t want to wake you up with a shock, but Squish didn’t want to leave your side, so I let him stay.’
‘He was so patient and well behaved.’
‘He’s ranch-trained now. He’s been herding.’
‘That cannot be true.’
‘I have evidence.’ River kneels down excitedly to open up his suitcase. He pulls out a thick folder, rifling through and handing me a photograph of – yep – Squish, herding cattle on Oakley Ranch.
‘Oh my God!’ I breathe. ‘It looks exactly like I imagined it!’
River hands me the whole folder. ‘I brought you this, Gertie. Thought you might like to see some old friends.’
I genuinely thought I had no more tears to cry in this life, but when I open the folder to find photographs of Bedlam Creek and its inhabitants I sob noisily with joy, nostalgia, longing and disbelief.
‘I made Cassidy pose for this one,’ he says. ‘She’s giving me the finger, which seems very unfair considering I’d just signed Oakley Ranch over to her.’
‘What?!’
River grabs hold of my hands. ‘You were right. She was born for the job. She’s amazing.’
He rummages through to another photograph.
It’s an image of the old cedar tree, not solitary and quiet like when I was there, but surrounded by various residents of Bedlam, some of whom I recognise from the stories in my mind, and some strangers.
I squint as I realise they’re all wearing kaftans, amber-lit candles in a circle on the ground.
I start to laugh. ‘You did not do a manifestation ceremony?’
River nods. ‘About three months after I came back. I was kicking myself for being so noble. Realised that I couldn’t stand to be in a universe that didn’t have you in it.
The ceremony didn’t work, but Mrs Gilmore from the bakery did manifest a new oven and the next day she found the exact one she wanted in a half-price sale. ’
‘Magic!’
We giggle, still staring at each other, scared that if we look away one of us might disappear again.
River takes me into his arms. I exhale slowly as my whole body relaxes into him, no posturing, no pretending, no trying to fold myself into something else to make him comfortable. Just completely myself. Happy.
‘I love you, Gertie.’ He says it right to my face, out loud for the first of what I hope will be many times.
Those green eyes hold mine steadfastly as if he needs me to know how much he means it.
‘I’m so wildly in love with you. I’m so outrageously, soppily, fucking out-of-this-world in love with you, Owl.
I should have said it when I was here. God knows I felt it.
I just … I’d never said it to anyone before and I didn’t know if you … ’
‘I’m in love with you too,’ I whisper, grazing my lips against his golden stubble. ‘So very deeply in love with you.’
‘I didn’t think I’d ever get to tell you,’ River murmurs into my hair, hands slowly trailing down my back.
My knees weaken at his touch, my entire body starting to pulse in time with the beat of my heart.
‘You better believe I’m going to tell you every single day for however long I’m lucky enough to have you. ’
‘I’d like that,’ I say, reaching up on my tiptoes to nuzzle my nose against his. ‘But you know what us writers always say?’
‘What’s that?’
‘It’s better to show than to tell.’
Without ado, River growls, scooping me up into his arms and carrying me over to the bed. ‘Oh, I’ll show you all right.’
I laugh out loud with joy. And I know in my soul it’s the first of so many laughs to come. So many adventures and arguments and discoveries and stories that we’ll create together. Gertie Bickerstaff and River Oakley.
River takes off his cowboy hat, chucking it across the room where it lands on top of the kettle. He pulls me to him and presses his lips against mine, the pair of us sighing with the relief of knowing that, at last, we are both exactly where the universe intends us to be – in a world of our own.
THE END