Chapter 12
Marcus
It was late afternoon when Noah and I walked toward McDonald’s.
We had gone tie shopping at the mall and visited several stores before we found what he liked at Macy’s.
I can’t believe how picky a seven-year-old was, but he had good taste.
He wanted us to match, so of the three ties I purchased for him, I bought two in the same color for me.
I’ll never forget how he held onto the bag with both hands as we walked out of the store, as if the plastic contained an object more precious than gold.
Now it was time for dinner. We were both hungry, and McDonald’s was on the way home. Noah ordered a Happy Meal with chicken nuggets, and I ordered a Big Mac combo. We sat in a booth near the window and dug into our meals.
“How was school today?”
I had waited to ask him this question so I could closely watch his expression. Though he was doing much better, the therapist had said he wasn’t completely out of the woods yet, so I wanted to catch any flicker of trouble since he might not express any issues out loud.
He told me about his day, the Reading Corner, and how he had read a funny book called The Cat in the Hat. His conversation was normal and animated, which allayed my fears.
“Hey, buddy, I wanted to talk to you about this coming weekend. On Saturday night, I’m going out. I’m going to take you to see Mrs. Patterson. You haven’t seen her in a while.”
“Okay.” Noah ate a few fries. “Are you going on a date?”
I wasn’t sure how much to tell him. He was only seven, after all. Should I tell him I was seeing Julia? Probably not. At least not yet, until we figured out where our relationship was going. “Yes, I’m going on a date.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“Not long. A couple of hours, and then I’ll be back to get you.”
I had called Mrs. Patterson earlier to make sure she was available. Thankfully, she was, and I’d scored a reservation at a high-end restaurant, too, so my plans were coming together for the night out with Julia.
Noah and I ate in silence for a few minutes, and then he pushed aside his box, leaving behind half his nuggets and half his fries.
“You finished already? You still have a lot more to eat.”
“I’m full.”
“Are you sure?” He had told me he was hungry in the car.
“I’m sure.” His voice sounded smaller. Maybe he was tired. With school and then going from store to store to find the perfect ties, he’d had a long day.
“All right, big man. I’m going to the front to grab a bag so we can take this home. You might want it later.”
I slid out of the booth, went to the counter, and asked for a to-go bag. The teenager behind the register scowled at me in annoyance and made me wait before handing over a paper sack. Her stank attitude couldn’t affect my good mood, though.
“Thank you,” I said with a smile.
I headed back to the table, but when I saw the booth was empty, I stopped short.
I scanned the restaurant. “Noah?” I called out to no one in particular.
Maybe he had gone to the bathroom. This McDonald’s was one of the few that still had an indoor playground. Maybe he had gone in there to play.
First, I checked the playground but only saw a couple of kids I didn’t recognize climbing through the tunnels. Unease built in my body. I walked briskly to the bathroom and pushed open the door.
“Noah? Are you in here?”
The empty bathroom echoed my voice back to me, and my stomach dropped. I was starting to freak out.
“Noah!” I yelled his name, and some of the customers stared at me.
I checked the empty booths. A woman sitting with two toddlers eyed me as if I were a lunatic.
“Have you seen a little Black boy? He’s seven years old, wearing khaki pants and a white shirt?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. I haven’t seen him.”
I asked the couple sitting by the window, but they hadn’t seen him either.
Did no one pay attention to their surroundings anymore?
Where the hell could he be?
I pushed through the front doors into the parking lot and listened to the roar of traffic going by as my heart hammered my ribs. My eyes flitted back and forth.
“Noah!” I bellowed.
A white sedan cruised by on its way to the drive-through. The parking lot itself was filled with vehicles, all places for a small boy to hide.
“Noah!”
Had someone snatched him while my back was turned?
My hand shook as I removed my phone from my pocket. I needed help, and the first person who came to mind was Julia. Then I saw a flash of white running along the sidewalk on the opposite side of the road, his little legs pumping as fast as they could carry him.
Noah! How did he get over there without getting run over by a car?
Terror froze me for a moment, and then I was sprinting across the parking lot.
I barely registered the Toyota that honked at me as I dodged in front of it.
I ran into traffic, lifting a hand toward a pickup truck barreling toward me.
The driver slammed the brakes and jolted to a halt.
He leaned on his horn, yelling and cursing, but I didn’t hear a word.
I raced across another lane of traffic, grateful for the vehicles that slowed when they saw me. As my foot hit the sidewalk, I yelled, “Noah!”
He kept running, but his short legs were no match for my longer ones. Within seconds, I reached him and grabbed him by the shoulders.
“Hey!” I forcefully swung him around to face me. “What the hell is wrong with you? What were you thinking?” I demanded, harshly and loudly. “You don’t just run off like that. Do you have any idea how scared I was? You could’ve been hit by a car. You could’ve—”
Noah was crying. Sobbing. His whole body was shaking. Tears streamed down his face.
“What’s wrong? Talk to me, buddy.”
“You were going to leave me forever!” he screamed, the words breaking apart as his breath came out in hiccupping gasps.
“What?”
He rubbed his eyes, still shaking. “Y-you s-said you were going on a date. You were—you were going to leave me with Mrs. Patterson and n-never come back. Just like M-mommy and D-daddy. They went on a date and n-never came b-back for me!”
Brandon and Stacey had left him with the babysitter. They had probably kissed him goodbye and said they’d be back after a few hours, and then they had died. They had never come back for him. I had told him I was going to do something similar.
How had I not picked up on his anxiety? I dropped to my knees in front of him and yanked him into my arms. He didn’t put his arms around me, as if he was afraid to hug me back.
“You s-said—”
“I said I was going on a date for a few hours. I was going to have dinner, and I was going to come right back to get you. I promise.”
“Mommy and Daddy said they were c-coming back too,” he said in a small, broken voice.
Validate his pain.
I pulled back and cupped his tear-streaked face. “When I said I was going on a date, you got scared. You thought I’d leave you and you’d be all alone again.”
He nodded, his lower lip trembling.
“I was only going out for a few hours. I would never leave you alone forever.”
His lower lip trembled. “You promise?”
“I promise.” I pulled him into my arms again, and this time he buried his face in my neck and fisted my shirt, sobbing as if in relief. “I don’t need to go anywhere on Saturday. I’m going to stay home with you, buddy.”
I don’t know how long we stayed like that as he cried. People passed us on the sidewalk and cars drove by. I held him the entire time, letting him cry, tears burning hot behind my own eyes.
When his sobs finally quieted to sniffles, I stood and lifted him with me. He wrapped his legs around my waist and his arms around my neck, clinging to me, afraid to let me go.
I waited until the light changed and crossed the street with him in my arms. At the car, I gently unlatched his limbs and placed him in the backseat. Then I climbed behind the steering wheel.
Our food was sitting on the table at McDonald’s, but I didn’t go back for it. I just drove home. During the short ride, Noah was quiet in the backseat. I kept checking on him by looking in the rearview mirror. We were almost to my condo when his small voice broke the silence.
“Uncle Marcus?” His voice was hoarse from all the crying.
“Yeah, buddy?” I glanced at his little face in the mirror.
“I love you.”
Geez, this kid.
His words hit me square in the chest, and my vision blurred. I had to blink rapidly to clear it, but a single tear escaped and slipped down my cheek. I roughly swiped it away with my knuckles.
Reaching back blindly, I found his small foot and gently squeezed it. “I love you too. So much.” My voice came out thick and trembled.
When I pulled into the parking garage below my building, I sat there for a while with the engine turned off and my hands on the steering wheel. Noah had fallen asleep, his face peaceful. The long day and all that crying had drained him.
I climbed out of the car and retrieved the Macy’s bag from the trunk. I stared at it for a moment, thinking about our matching ties and how excited he had been about wearing one to school.
I still didn’t know if I could do this. If I was enough. But that evening, I had made Noah a promise that I wouldn’t leave him, and that was the truth. This arrangement wasn’t temporary. I wasn’t going to leave him. I wasn’t going to let him go.
He was my son, and I was his dad, and our arrangement was permanent.
Almost losing him tonight made me realize how much he meant to me.
I had been terrified, and I had never known that type of horror in my life.
I never wanted to know it again. More than anything, I never wanted him to know loss again—the kind he experienced when his parents never came back for him.
So I would have to figure this out, including the situation with Zenobia.
I opened the back door and carefully unbuckled Noah. He stirred a little as I lifted him. Automatically, his little arms wrapped around my neck, and his head settled on my shoulder.
I took him up in the elevator, smiling at one of the residents who joined us when the cabin stopped on the ground floor.
Once we were home, I removed his clothes and left him in his underwear. I didn’t bother putting on his pajamas and pulled the sheets over him. I sat on the edge of the bed, watching him sleep and listening to his breathing.
The weight of his disappearance had hit me hard.
I had almost lost him.
We were family now, but we were still figuring out our life together—one terrifying event at a time.
I turned off the light beside his bed and quietly left the room.