Chapter 12
Twelve
Briana
I fell asleep. I only know this because I’m startled awake when his hand lands over my mouth. I should be used to it by now. But it still stuns me every time.
“Shhh. It’s just me, princess.” He sits on the edge of my bed. I kind of wish it were a full or a queen instead of a twin. I’d like him to be able to lie next to me. But I’m not sure that’s something he would ever do anyway.
This man, my stalker, is not…normal. Something is off about him.
Ha. Besides the fact that he’s a stalker. There’s more than that, though.
But I’m so drawn to him I can’t stop myself. I have Stockholm Syndrome or something. Is that the correct label? It’s not like he’s holding me hostage. He didn’t kidnap me. Right?
“Can I lower my hand, pretty girl?”
I nod.
He lifts his palm from my lips and sets a finger on my cheek, stroking. “Good girl,” he praises in that voice I’m learning to love and crave.
I’m so fucked up.
“You were such a good girl today. I’m so proud of you. Did it feel good to follow a strict routine, Briana?”
“Yes, Sir.” I’m not sure I’m telling the truth.
It’s not the routine that feels good. It’s obeying him and earning his approval.
I’m like a drug addict. I need more. I want more from him.
I get excited when I see his texts. I look forward to them.
Sometimes my leg bounces while I wait for him to send me another message, no matter how simple.
“You’ll sleep better at night if you eat healthily, get your work done on time, and keep your space tidy.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“You just needed someone to be accountable to, didn’t you, princess?”
“Yes, Daddy,” I whisper, sliding deeper under his spell.
It’s like he hypnotizes me with his words, drawing me into his strange world.
A world filled with order and rules. I know it’s not a world he’s creating just for me.
He lives in it, too. “Did you take my melatonin?” I blurt out, remembering the missing pills.
“Yes, princess. You don’t need the crutch. I want you to stop taking it.”
I swallow. Sometimes his controlling ways frustrate me to death. But I need to control my reactions. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl. I’m going to reward you for being so well-behaved today, princess.”
I smile. “Thank you, Daddy.” I’m surrounded by warmth. Ooey gooey warmth. The kind of care I probably missed out on as a child. I’m getting this part of me filled that I hadn’t known was empty until my stalker pointed it out.
He leans in closer. I always know this because his minty breath hits my face. His toothpaste smells like mine. “I need you to trust Daddy. It’s important that you be very quiet tonight. Your roommates are home.”
I nod. How does he know that? I don’t ask.
This man is all-knowing. “Yes, Sir.” I’m ridiculously eager to please him.
It’s nonsensical. But I can’t stop the trajectory of this out-of-control freight train.
I’m riding it. I can’t get off. It’s going too fast. I don’t even want off. I want to know where it’s going.
I’m committed to following the demands of my stalker. My Daddy. He’s taking me to places I never imagined possible. I have no doubt he will tonight, too.
“You need to wear the ball gag tonight, princess,” he says in a firm voice.
I wince. “I don’t like that thing,” I whine.
He strokes my cheek again. “I know you don’t, pretty girl. But sometimes you’ll do things you don’t like because they please me.”
Sniffling, I purse my lips. The ball gag is awful.
“It keeps you from making loud noises, princess. You’re not trained to do so on your own yet. I’ll work with you to help you learn to be silent when I demand it, but you’re not ready for that. Do you understand?”
I nod, but I’m still whimpering. “It makes me drool,” I whine again.
“I know it does, princess. And you’re so pretty when you drool. It makes Daddy very happy when you do things that make you uncomfortable to please me.”
I’m trembling. Is he giving me an option?
“I’m not asking for your permission, Briana. I’m simply telling you because you deserve an explanation. I’m earning your trust. The ball gag isn’t negotiable.”
That’s what I figured. Should I be grateful he’s being kind about it before he does it?
His finger comes to my lips. He traces around them. “Your mouth is so beautiful, and it looks so pretty when it’s stretched open, when you have no voice.”
I’m sniffling again. “Okay, Daddy,” I murmur, consenting even though he wasn’t asking. I want to please him.
“Such a good girl. Open your mouth, princess.”
I stretch my lips as wide as I can, panicking as soon as my mouth is filled with the rubber ball. It’s scary.
He lifts my head to fasten it securely behind me and then props me up with two pillows so my head is elevated. “This gag is slightly different from the last one. It has holes. You can breathe through it, princess.”
Panic sets in anyway. I drag my arms out from under the covers and reach for the gag, shoving at him. I can’t do it. I thought I could, but I can’t. It’s too scary. Claustrophobia or something. Maybe that’s exactly it, since I’m also blindfolded.
Moaning loudly behind the gag, I try to grab it with both hands.
Daddy circles my wrists, grabs them both, and plants them over my head.
I’m flailing still, kicking at my covers, trying to free myself. Sheer terror consumes me. It’s worse than last night because I’m remembering how awful that was.
Daddy jumps onto the bed, plants one knee between my legs and covers my mouth with his hand, gag and all, stifling me from making any noise.
Sucking in air through my nose, I think I might die. I’m going to suffocate or… Can you die from panic?
“Calm down, princess,” he says quietly in my ear. “You’re safe.”
He’s wrong. I try to shake my head to inform him that I’m definitely not safe.
He’s immobile. No part of him lets up. He’s forcefully holding me down. I can move my knees, but it’s useless.
“Inhale through your nose, Briana,” he demands. “You’re safe. You’ll always be safe with me. You need to learn to trust Daddy. I know what’s best for you. I know what you need, princess.”
I try to cry out, but no sound comes. He doesn’t know what I need.
I need him to take this stupid ball out of my mouth and let me go.
I need him to show his face. It occurs to me that I haven’t really touched him.
I’m only aware of how big he is from the first night, the night he hauled me into the pantry for the freshman prank.
He touches me all over. He sees me. He has a nude picture of my bare pussy on his phone.
I struggle again, tugging against his hold.
“The gag stays, Briana,” he states firmly.
“It’s not negotiable. Nothing is negotiable.
I will train you to accept that. Eventually, you will do as you’re told without question.
I know it’s hard now. You’re still learning.
But you will. I’m confident you will obey me without hesitation with enough training. ”
I want to shout at him. I want to tell him he’s wrong. I’m not a dog. I don’t need training. I’m a person. A human being. I need…
I need…
I need love.
“Shhh… Good girl. Let yourself relax. Don’t fight it.”
Apparently, I’ve stopped struggling. Maybe I’m worn out. Or maybe I’m accepting that I can’t win this battle. Can I even win the war?
He removes his hand from my mouth. “Can you be a good girl and stay quiet?”
I hesitate before nodding.
“Are you done fighting me, princess?”
How is he so calm? Damn him. I nod again. I can’t escape whatever he’s planning. It will be better to stop trying. Next time, I’ll be stronger. Next time, I’ll tell him no to the ball gag. I hate it so much.
“Surrender, Briana. Turn your control over to me. You were born to submit to my will, princess.”
His words are confusing. I should kick him in the balls and run from the room. Could I?
Suddenly, he touches my nipple, making me arch my chest off the bed. An unexpected wave of sensation races through my body. I can’t stop it. I need him to do it again. My nipple is instantly hard and swollen and begging.
Please, Daddy. Touch me again.
The need for more is tangible. It’s all-consuming. But his fingers are gone. Now I’m squirming for another reason.
“I know that felt good, princess. Your body craves my touch. I’m going to give you what you need as soon as you surrender.
Sometimes you will require firm discipline.
Other times, you will crave a gentle stroke.
I will always take care of you, princess.
But you have to trust me to decide what’s best for you. ”
I nod because the only thing I can focus on right now is the tingling in my nipple and the desire for him to do it again. I’ll do whatever he says as long as he touches me. All of me. I want his hands on my body.
“Submit, Briana,” he orders.
I force my body to relax into the mattress and blow air out of my nose and mouth. The holes in this gag are an improvement. It’s less scary than the one he used last night. I’m drooling, though.
“I’m going to restrain you now, Briana.”
I stiffen, fighting the renewed urge to jerk free.
“It’s part of your lesson, princess. It’s necessary.”
Panting, I squeeze my eyes closed as he grabs something off the bed next to me and brings it to my wrists.
I think it’s nylon. It’s not rope. Holding my hands tightly with one of his, he manages to circle my wrists one at a time with whatever this is.
It doesn’t hurt. It’s definitely nylon. With Velcro, I think.
Tugging my combined wrists hard, he seems to reach behind my pillows and down between the mattress and the headboard. I assume he attaches me to the frame. I can’t think what else he could attach me to.
I’m shaking with fear as he climbs off the bed. This is so wrong.
A second later, I gasp when he removes the comforter and sheet, drawing them down my frame until I’m left in my twisted tank top and panties. I moan.
He swats my inner thigh. “No noises.”