Chapter Twenty-Four #3
Sel stands behind the others, and since they’re giants like him, he cocks his head around to see me.
His mouth is swollen, there’s a nasty-looking gash on his lip, and dark bruises appear on his jawline, above his trimmed beard.
But it’s his face that gets to me; it’s so pale I think he needs medical assistance.
“We beat those assholes!” Makela proudly announces. “All for you, Finntastic.”
“Thanks,” I grin. “I watched the clips. The rest of the game was brutal.”
I glance at Sel and our eyes lock. I don’t need him to speak, the fear in his eyes says everything.
“So, what’s the verdict, Finn?” Berg asks.
“Grade one shoulder separation, a sling for ten days, and then physio. No concussion.”
“How long’s the healing time?”
“Doctors say about a month. I should return to full function within two weeks, but I’ll need another two or three before I can play again.”
Sorensen smiles. “What a relief, man. That means you’ll be back on the ice in January sometime.”
I nod. Sel still hasn’t said a word.
“Phew,” Kuznetsov replies. “I thought it might be much worse.”
“Tell me about it.”
“We should let you rest now.” Berg motions to the door. “Just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”
“It’ll take a lot more than that goon to stop me.”
All the guys head for the door, and my heart sinks.
Sel suddenly pauses.
“I’ll meet you outside in a minute,” he states to Berg. “I want a quick word with Finn.”
Everyone else nods and leaves, closing the door behind them.
“Sweetheart,” he whispers as he turns and stalks towards the bed, his eyes watery.
Mine well up in return. I want to hold his hand, but I also know our teammates are right outside the door, and Sel is protecting me in case one of them walks back in. He has his arms wrapped tight around his body, and I notice he’s shaking.
“Jesus, Finn. I’m so relieved you’re going to be okay. I can’t even… I mean, the fear and panic when I… when I saw you go down like that. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”
“No,” I insist. “It’s that asshat Donaldson’s fault. Not yours.”
“He hurt you deliberately. Because of me.” Sel lowers his head and blinks quickly. “The third period wasn’t any better. He aimed for Ranken and Brady but missed. That caused more fights. Donaldson said he wants the entire team to turn on me.”
“What a fucking dickbag,” I hiss. “He’s wrong. It won’t happen.”
Sel raises his head and his fallen expression tells me he isn’t convinced.
“There’s one more thing,” Sel continues. “I’m pretty sure he was the one who messed up my jersey back in Chicago.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah, but that’s something I’ll deal with another day.” Sel pauses. “He said a bunch of nasty homophobic shit to me after you were carted off the ice, and others overhead. And then I punched the shit out of him.”
“I saw that.” I bite my lower lip. “And I also saw the clip where he hit you back and I wanted to puke. Did you get checked out? Are you alright?”
Sel finally cracks a small grin.
“I did and I am, but thanks for worrying. I’m fine now I know you’re okay. Well, not okay, but not the worst-case scenario that made my blood run colder than any ice.”
“Sel, I—”
He looks back at the door.
“I can’t stay longer, but I also want to mention that Berg suspects.”
“Suspects what?”
“About, you know—” Sel points between us.
“What?” I shout.
“Finn.” Sel reaches for my hand, and I settle. “He saw my face when it happened, and I guess, for a second, I let my mask slip.”
“Oh, no.”
“But he probably thinks it’s all me crushing on you. It’s not something to worry about tonight. Berg won’t say anything, and no one else on the team noticed.” He squeezes my hand. “When are they releasing you?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“I’ll arrange for a rideshare to pick you up. You’re staying at my place for a while so I can take care of you. No arguments.”
My heart picks up speed at that idea, but then I wonder.
“What if the guys want to stop by to see me this week?”
“Tell them there’s some issue in your unit that can’t be repaired for a few days, and that as your friend, I offered my guest bedroom.”
“And that’s not going to make Berg question us more, and make the others suspicious?”
“I’m not worried about Berg. And if we act normal about it and the others want to come over to mine, they can. No biggie, nothing to hide.”
“And when you head back on the road?”
There’s a hard knock at the door and we quickly pull our hands apart.
Fuck, this is frustrating and annoying. Sneaking around might do it for some people, but not me.
I’m not ashamed of my feelings for Sel, but there’s also the reality of what it will mean when I come out.
Am I brave enough? I want to, I intend to.
Then I think of Sel, and all my friends who’ve come out already. My whole life will change forever.
“Stay at my place,” Sel whispers. “I want you there.”
I don’t have time to answer because the door opens, and Xavier appears.
“Visiting time was over hours ago,” my nurse reminds me and offers Sel a pointed look.
“I’ll text you tomorrow,” Sel says politely, and he holds my gaze for a long moment before nodding at my nurse and heading for the door.
After Sel leaves there’s no way I can go right to sleep. Instead of waiting until tomorrow, I call my dad, explain my diagnosis, and the next steps.
“We were so scared, Finn,” my dad croaks.
I know, I just know, that he’s flashing back to Will’s accident. I swallow down the lump that lodges in my throat and close my eyes.
“I’m okay. It’s only a month or so and I’ll be back playing,” I reassure him. “Some of my teammates came to visit me in the hospital tonight. They’re amazing guys.”
“That was kind. Your voice sounds strong, even though I know you’re in a lot of pain.”
Tears prickle my eyes, and I blink them away. I’m in love but I can’t tell anyone. Strong is the last thing I feel.