Chapter Twenty-Seven
FINN
I’m not half asleep this time, and the pain pill hasn’t kicked in yet, so I know what I heard.
Sel loves me, he loves me… he loves me!
“I’m so—” I pause, my voice cracking. “In love with you.”
I scramble to sit up, and he levers me into his lap, mindful as always of my shoulder, holding me with gentle strength.
“But I hate that I can’t hug you properly with this bum arm,” I add.
“I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
I stare into his deep brown eyes and he’s looking at me with so much passion I’m almost too choked up to speak. Our lips meet, and in between fervent kisses, we murmur “I love you” to each other, over and over.
“I’ve been wanting to tell you,” I confess as I rest my forehead on his.
“Me too,” Sel admits. “I guess I wanted you to say it first, to be sure that this is what you want. That I’m who you want.”
“This goes way beyond wanting, baby. I’ve never felt anything like what we are together.”
Sel nods as his eyes turn dark and wet. Suddenly he’s blurry and I realize I’m crying too.
“I wish I could stay with you today.” He sighs as he swipes my tears with his thumbs. “Unfortunately, there’s practice and home games, then I’m on the road for weeks. I’ll be back for a couple of days, and then it’s Christmas break—”
“Are you going home to see your mom?”
He nods. “That’s the plan. You?”
“Yeah, I’ve already got my flight to Omaha booked.”
I want to say come with me to Nebraska, but it’s not fair to him.
“New Year’s?” he offers.
“Definitely. I need a kiss from my one and only,” I reassure him. “Besides, we have some time together this week. And we can text and video call when you’re on the road.”
Sel raises both eyebrows.
“Okay, it’ll be frustrating as hell, but I need time to heal this shoulder so I can manhandle you the way I want,” I tease, and Sel’s eyes flare. “In fact, I think we should hold off on any more fooling around until the new year.”
Sel groans and his hands squeeze my ass.
“That’s weeks, Finn.”
“No hand holding, no kissing. Except for today.”
“You play a dirty game, rookie.”
I offer him a wicked grin.
“Think of all the pent-up sexual energy. We’ll have an epic fucking reunion. Emphasis on the fucking.”
“We’ll stay in bed for two days.”
“Only two?”
“Then I’m back to work and you will be too. At practice at least.”
“Fuck yes. I want this shoulder to heal so I can get back out there. Can’t leave my partner behind.”
Sel gives me a beaming smile and kisses me senseless.
“Then get back to sleep, Dimples. I’ll grab you some ice packs before I leave.”
Reluctantly, I slide off his lap and lean back against my pillows while he heads for the bathroom. My eyes roam over him, the cocky Kirkland swagger in full effect. I don’t think anything, not even this shoulder injury, could dim the smile on my face.
And sleep? After finding out that Sel’s in love with me? Not sure that’s happening anytime soon.
Twenty minutes later, Sel’s dressed and ready to head out.
“Anything else you need before I go?” he asks, giving me a soft kiss.
“I’ve got my ice packs, the pain med is kicking in, and I’ve got a full fridge. I’m good.” I smile against his lips. “I’m going to call my family first and then Silas. Didn’t really get a chance last night to give them a full timeline of what happened.”
“Are you okay if I tell the guys that you’re staying here? Sorensen knows, so I figure if I’m up front about it, they won’t think twice.”
“Up front?”
“Yeah, I mean, about you staying here, not the real reason why.”
“You won’t fool Berg.”
“No, but until you’re ready, that’s the way we play it.”
“I like playing hockey, Sel, not my teammates.”
“I know that, Finn,” Sel sighs. “But only you can decide when, or if—”
“When,” I state firmly, even though I wonder how long it’s going to take me.
“—the time is right.”
I nod, then glance at my phone.
“You better get moving, Wolfie. You don’t want to be late.”
“I’m going to grab dinner on the way home. Any preferences?”
“Nope. Do you want me to order in?”
“I’ve got it.” Sel cups my face and offers his lips one last time. “Be good, boyfriend.”
The word makes me flush with pleasure, and I know for sure I’m a praise slut.
Once Sel’s gone, the silence takes some getting used to. Like last night, when I was here alone and he was out. I really hope this shoulder won’t take long to heal because being cooped up and quiet is not me. Speaking of talking, I grab my phone, tap my Dad’s number, and put it on speaker.
“Finn, I was just about to call. How’re you feeling today, son?”
“Sore, but not too bad with the pain pills.”
“Are you home or at the hospital?”
“I’m home. Well, actually, uh, there was a leak at my place, and I couldn’t stay there for a few days, so I’m rooming with a teammate. A friend. With Sel. Kirkland.”
It’s true, but not, and my secret burns like the worst kind of reflux. I take a sip of water to ease the constriction in my throat.
“Well, that’s awful kind of him to take you in.”
My mind goes to a very different place than the comment intends, but thankfully I manage to swallow the water.
“You didn’t catch a bug in that hospital, did you?” Dad asks.
“No, it’s dry mouth from the meds. How’s Mom?”
“Resting. She had more tests done recently, so she’s tired and achy but otherwise fine. She’s sleeping now. Maybe we can video call later so you can see her?”
“Definitely.”
“Any more details about your injury?”
“Same as what I gave you last night. I’ll be back playing in January.”
“That’s good news. When I saw Donaldson hit you like that, I almost put my fist through the nearest wall.
What a dirty move. And no ref calling him out?
Well, he got five minutes, but he should’ve been kicked out of the game.
Then he tried the same thing, twice, in the third period.
Boy, if I ever see that prick in person—”
“Easy, Dad. Unfortunately, shit like that happens sometimes. There are a few players who are vicious and will do anything for an advantage. Also, that wasn’t the worst of what he did.”
“How can it be any worse than injuring you?”
“I’m talking about Sel,” I pause. “This is between you and me, alright?”
“Of course.”
“Things were bad for him in Chicago when he came out; his team turned against him. That’s why he was anxious to get traded.
Last night, Donaldson told Sel that he went after me on purpose.
Me, Makela, Brady. But I was the preferred target since we’re partners.
Donaldson’s hoping we’ll turn against Sel too. ”
“That fucking asshole!”
“Then Donaldson yelled homophobic slurs at Sel and… well, you saw the fight after that. Sel knew the first game against the Bandits would be rough, but he didn’t expect that.”
“How’s Sel doing?”
“He’s shaken up, but he’s been too busy worrying about me to talk about it,” I offer. “And he’s concerned about the rest of the team, of course.”
“Sounds like you and him are close.”
“We are,” I whisper hoarsely. “Um, I better go and, uh, rest. I’ll call you and Mom later, okay?”
“We’ll be here,” he replies. “Take care of yourself, son. Give our best to Sel. Take care of each other.”
Does he suspect anything?
I pause, biting my lower lip so I don’t confess to him right here, right now. I haven’t hidden anything this big from my family before, and it’s killing me.
“We will.”
“You sure you’re okay? Your voice sounds different.”
“Probably the meds. I’m good, or at least I will be once I get this shoulder healed up and I can get back to playing hockey.”
“Love you, Finn.”
“You too, Dad.”
Once I tap end, I call Silas. I need to tell someone the truth before I literally explode.
“Took you long enough to call me, bud,” he answers.
“I needed sleep, Si.”
“I know, I know, I’m busting your balls. They release you yet?”
“Yes, only, I’m not at mine.”
“Why?”
“Boyfriends,” I blurt out.
“What?”
“I’m staying at Sel’s because he insisted he wanted to help take care of me. The story we’re telling people is that I had a leak in my unit and he offered me his guest room. The truth is that he did offer, and I wanted to stay, but in his bedroom.”
There’s a momentary pause on the other end of the line.
“I haven’t spoken to you since you mentioned your crush, and holy shit, sounds like it’s gone way beyond that.”
“It has. I love him, Si. And he loves me. Like, he told me he’s in love with me. We’re in love. He’s my boyfriend. Holy shit, I didn’t know I could feel this way about anyone.”
Silence greets me again. Not surprising.
“Whoa.” Silas finally speaks. “I need time to let this fully sink in. So, it’s official?”
“Only between us.”
“Right. And staying in his bed means that you two have already—”
“Yes. Oh yes. Fuck yes. The sex is unreal. But no anal yet. Well, I topped him. Once,” I ramble.
“I was so nervous but he’s amazing and now I think I want to have him in my ass.
And he rimmed me, holy shit, why didn’t you tell me it was like that?
But I haven’t given him a blow job yet. To be honest, I don’t think I can take all of him.
In my mouth or in my ass. His dick is massive.
Shit, you don’t need to know that. Not that all there is to us is fucking because Sel’s an incredible person—”
“Slow down, Finn,” Silas chuckles. “You don’t want to add to your injury by developing high blood pressure.”
“It’s just that I can’t talk about this with anyone besides Sel, and I need to. You know me.”
Silas chuckles.
“I do, and I know the feeling, so go for it. Give me all the dirty deets.”
“All of them?”
“The ones you want to share.”
“We could be talking for hours.”
“Do you have anywhere else you need to be?”
I start from the beginning.
Sel