27. My Roommate is Busy
MY ROOMMATE IS BUSY
Asher
“I cannot believe you're getting married in two days. How far we have come from our days in school, talking smack about girls.”
“My smack talk was more sincere,” Flip says, elbowing me from a few inches down the terrace railing where we’re standing together, looking at the moonlit bay.
“That must be why you're the one marrying a woman.”
He snorts. “Must be.”
My smack talk was all pretense, of course. I spent the first part of high school—or upper school, as we called it in Switzerland—wishing girls were interesting to me. And then at some point, I realized I’d rather kiss the captain of our football team.
When I’d finally confided this to Flip, he’d looked utterly appalled. My heart had bottomed out, terrified that Flip was about to recoil with disgust at my sudden revelation. “ Armieux? He’s a smug wanker. We can find you a better guy than that .”
Flip has been my wingman ever since. And the fact that he’s taking himself off the market this weekend is still a little shocking to me. In less than forty-eight hours, no less.
There's nothing like a Cuban on a humid night. The cigars we’re smoking right now are part of the wedding gift I’d bought him. The scent of the smoke makes me feel wistful. And I couldn't even tell you why.
Flip. Married . With a baby on the way. It doesn’t seem real. I honestly thought we'd be single forever together. I’d just gotten comfortable with the idea that relationships weren’t right for people like Flip and me.
And about a half hour later, he met Hannah.
So, this is it. My last night with my single bestie, since tomorrow is the Friday night rehearsal dinner. Which means that’ll also be my final night with the hottest nerdy single dad on the planet.
Spending time with Mark has been an unexpected pleasure. I hadn’t expected him to be so much fun. I’d never expected to actually like the guy. A hookup, sure. I’m easy. But after this is done, I think I’m going to miss him.
And I don't normally miss hookups.
Although the whole wedding thing is probably just getting to me. Watching two people tie their lives together forever makes you think about all the big questions in life.
Next week, I’ll probably put this all behind me, right? I’ll be back to having deep thoughts about the EuroCup final, and whether or not I can order naan bread with my Indian food without developing a gut.
“Hey, let's go have a whiskey,” Flip says, out of the blue.
“Sure, man. I could run to the liquor store.”
“No—I meant let’s go to South Beach. Just the two of us, for old times’ sake. One more time to that place on Collins. With the models?”
“That's every place on Collins.” I take a surreptitious look at my smartwatch. “It's ten-thirty already. It will take us a half an hour to get there and park, though. You sure you’re up for a late night?”
Flip snorts. “Who are you? Ten-thirty is, like, lunchtime for you. Am I right?”
The man has a point. But I’m not willing to admit it. “Just want you to get your beauty sleep. Those wedding photos are forever.”
“Uh-huh.” Flip taps the ash from his cigar into the bay. “Look, I have a couple things to discuss with you.”
“What are they? We can just talk here.”
He shakes his head. Then he grabs my arm and tows me toward the window of the house. It's all lit up inside, and we're looking in at the giant den.
Where Mark Banks is currently passed out on a huge L-shaped sofa. His daughter is asleep beside him, too, her head on his arm, her cute mouth slack.
It’s really freaking cute. Like, ridiculously so. My heart warms in an unfamiliar way as I gaze at them.
“See? Your roommate is busy right now anyway,” Flip says.
And I stop breathing. What is he saying exactly? I’ll admit nothing. But I brace myself for questions.
“Come have a drink with me,” is all he says, though. “I’m pulling the best man card on your ass. This is it. This is my hour of need.”
“Sure,” I say, turning away from the window. “Of course. Whatever you want.”
On the way out the door, I send a text to the sleeping hottie as surreptitiously as I can.
Forty minutes later, we’re seated in a bar on Collins designed to look like a smug wanker’s private library from the Victorian era. A buxom model in a maid’s uniform pours us each a glass of Macallan and charges me one hundred dollars. Plus tip.
“Now, what did you need to discuss with me?” I ask after the first sip.
“Couple things,” he says, reclining against his wingback chair. “The first one is that I want you to be the baby’s godfather.”
I cough on the next sip and scorch my lungs with peaty scotch. “Really? Me?”
“Why not you? Who else would I ask?”
“Mark Banks,” I say immediately. “He’s the obvious choice.”
“But I’m asking you,” Flip says, setting his glass down on the marble-topped table between our matching chairs. “Besides, it’s a ceremonial job, Ash. A figurehead position. Nothing is going to happen to Hannah and me. You get to be the fun uncle in this situation. It’s your forte.”
The fun uncle . He’s right. That’s kind of my role in life. “I’m honored, Flip. Thank you.”
“No, thank you.” He picks up his scotch. “Now, speaking of Mark Banks . . .”
Uh-oh .
He stares hard at me with gray eyes. “What the hell are you doing, dude?”
I consider playing dumb. But dumb isn’t a good look on me. “It’s a little harmless fun between consenting adults. Since when do you care who I bang?”
He runs a finger around the rim of his glass, and then looks me right in the eye. “He just got out of a six-year marriage. The guy is kind of a mess.”
“Not really,” I argue as a reflex. Does Flip know all the details on Mark’s marriage, how his wife checked out, left him for her boss, how she wiggles out of time with their kid?
Does he know, too, what I’ve been able to figure out in a few days?that Mark wasn’t in love with Bridget? At least, not recently. Maybe not ever.
Flip sighs. “But I see the way he looks at you. That’s the only reason I guessed that you’ve been polishing his sword.”
“How does he look at me?” I ask, fascinated.
“Like he’s a college freshman and you’re a case of cold beer.”
“So? I’m really not seeing the problem here.”
“You’re a player, Ash. Are you trying to prove that his drunk text was right about us?”
“His drunk text said I was superhot,” I remind him. “So, sure, I’m okay with proving it.”
“You know what I mean,” Flip says. “I just think it’s dangerous to toy with him. Hannah will kill me if you break his heart. And every family gathering from now until eternity will be really fucking awkward.”
“I’m not breaking anybody’s heart,” I promise. “Show me a heart I’ve broken.”
“You don’t stick around long enough to actually break ’em,” Flip corrects. “You bruise them a little and move on.”
I bristle. That’s not true. And even though I’m supposed to be toasting Flip’s health and his marriage right now, I open my mouth to argue. Is that really what you think of me?
But a different question comes out instead. “Do you think my hair is too floofy?”
Flip looks at me like I’ve grown an extra head. “I’m sorry . . . what? ”
“Never mind.”
We sip our scotch. I’m still sore about Flip asking me to leave Mark alone, though. I know I’m not doing anything that man doesn’t want me to do.
And beg me to do, damn it.
Flip couldn’t possibly understand the inner workings of Mark Banks. My roomie told me to my face that he isn’t looking for more than a hookup. It’s going to be fine.
I sneak another look at my watch. Eleven-thirty. I can still make the most of tonight. For maybe the only time ever, I’m the one itching to put the fork in a night out with my bud.
Guess there’s a first time for everything.