Chapter Thirty
I grip the edge of the couch cushion with both hands. “What are you saying?” I’m pretty sure I know exactly what he’s saying but hope springs eternal that I’m wrong.
He winces like he’d rather be doing anything else than having this conversation. Same. “The doctor told Marcia that living with both of us might be contributing to her health issues, but she didn’t say which of us should stay. She’s my grandma. I think it should be me.”
My pulse speeds up. “But this is my apartment. I have a lease!”
His head jerks back, probably from the aggression in my voice. “It was a one-year lease, which means it should be ending in a few months, right? Marcia said there was no imminent rush.”
I haven’t been keeping track of the time, assuming that renewing my lease was a no-brainer, but I do the math in my head and I’ve been here eight and a half months, which leaves three and a half remaining.
I take a deep breath through my nose and out my mouth to collect myself.
“Okay. Let’s pretend for a moment that I agree to move out.
Are you sure you want to move in with Marcia permanently?
Considering you haven’t stuck to much lately, how do I know that you won’t change your mind?
” This is a low blow and I’m not proud of myself, but it has to be said.
Adam’s face betrays no emotion. “With all due respect, Sabrina, that’s not your concern.”
I remove his beer bottle and take a sip, ignoring his lifted eyebrows. “With all due respect, Adam , it is my concern when you expect me to uproot my living situation on a whim.” I can already hear Gabe saying, “I told you so.” Fucking Gabe.
Adam’s expression softens. “I’m sorry to do this to you. I really am. I know how much you love this apartment—”
“And Marcia.”
His eyes do a circle of my face. “And Marcia. But I just got my grandma back, and I don’t want to lose her. All those things you do for her, I can do them too.”
I smirk. “Says the guy who still uses checks, has probably never heard of Venmo, and thinks pressing control-alt-delete fixes everything.” I try not to think about how he built the bookshelf, changed the light bulbs, and did a host of other things since he moved in.
He chokes on a laugh. “Thanks to you, she’s all set up. And I’m not suggesting that you never see Marcia again. You can come over all the time. I’d want you to. I like you, Sabrina. A lot.” His voice gets husky on those last two words.
I’m not capable of going there right now. I have to focus. “By the same token, no one says that by moving out, you would lose her either! If you stay in the city, you can see her every day if you want!”
“It’s not the same and you know it.” He sighs and rakes a hand through his hair. “If you had a chance to make things up to your grandma, wouldn’t you want to?”
The words are like a punch in the gut. “I told you that in confidence and in a moment of weakness. Now you’re using it against me?”
“I’m not using it against you, but Brina…” He studies me. “I know you love Marcia like she’s your grandmother, but she’s not. She’s mine.”
“Fuck you.” The words come out without any forethought and my breath catches in the aftermath. But I’m not regretful. He’s gone too far. And to use my nickname to get my guard down wasn’t cool.
Adam’s eyes widen, but then his features smooth out again. “That was harsh. I’m sorry.”
I neither accept nor reject his apology.
“You still have plenty of time to find another roommate. Maybe there’s someone else like Marcia on that RoomBridge app.” His eyes sparkle with hope.
Except there is no one else like Marcia. I can’t just replace her or duplicate our relationship with any random septuagenarian.
My stomach sinks as doubts fill my head.
Am I being selfish? Is giving up my room the right thing to do?
The last thing I want is to keep Marcia from her grandson.
But I truly believe defending my right to live here is best, not only for me but for Marcia.
My plan was to stay as long as she’ll have me.
Sure, I hoped someday I’d move on—either because I was moving in with a partner or able to better afford being on my own—but that could be years from now!
Everything I know about Adam screams that he makes rash decisions and then doesn’t follow through.
It’s why his ex-girlfriend broke up with him!
What if I move out and Adam changes his mind and decides he wants to become a flight attendant or volunteer for Habitat for Humanity like Audrina’s ex?
Or what if he misses his life in Philadelphia?
Where would that leave Marcia? I just don’t believe he’s capable of knowing what he wants, and I’m not going to uproot my own life for nothing.
I stand from the couch so I’m looking down at him. “Marcia made it pretty clear that she was talking about you leaving, not me.”
“I’m sure she’d be thrilled.”
This stops me momentarily as the doubt creeps back in. But I just don’t believe moving out and Adam taking my place would make either of them happy in the long run. Living with a woman who is young enough to be your granddaughter is a different dynamic than actually living with your granddaughter.
Adam’s still talking. “How about I ask her tomorrow?”
I shake my head. “If you suggest taking over the guest room while I still have several months on my lease, it’s just going to stress her out more because she knows I don’t want to leave and I’m not a good actress.
You can’t tell her now.” My brain sparks with an idea.
It’s bonkers but I go with it. “How about this?” I sit back down and cross my legs.
“If you can prove to me in the next few months that you truly are the better roommate and make me believe that you’ll stick around, I will bow out gracefully when my lease expires.
” I raise a finger when Adam opens his mouth to respond. “I’m not done.”
He blinks. “Go on. I’m intrigued.”
“But I’m also going to be the best roommate I can be and if Marcia wants me to stay, you can’t argue.”
His eyes dance. “So like a contest?”
“More like a battle.”
“What are the rules?”
I tap a finger to my chin. “Marcia doesn’t get hurt.”
“That’s a given. Anything else?”
“I don’t think so.” I extend my hand. “Do we have a deal?” The risk of going through with this is that if Adam ends up the victor, I’ll have to follow through and give up the apartment gracefully.
But the chances of him winning or even still wanting to stick around by the time we’re done are low.
And if he does win, it will mean that he’s the better roommate for Marcia and it’s for the best. I selfishly hope it doesn’t go that way.
When he takes my hand and gives it a firm shake, a bolt of electricity shoots through me.
I know he feels it too because his eyes dilate and he holds it a beat too long.
It’s a shame we’re in this position for many reasons, but one of them is that since we’re at war now, sex is most definitely off the table.