Twenty-Three
Rilee
Sunday night’s dream was just as vivid as Saturday’s.
Even from across the room the naked shape of him sent hot tingles over my skin.
I woke Monday morning, flushed, sheets clinging to my body.
How much longer could this go on? After a shower my hair was going to be wet through at least first period, blow drying always left me with fly-aways. I settled on the fly-aways.
The kids in first period were super squirrely.
There must have been a party over the weekend.
Soft giggles and wayward glances between the girls at the edge of the popular crowd.
Despite the noise, Malcolm Deets fell asleep.
Usually if students look like they really need it I’d let them doze, but Malcom drooled excessively so I gave him a nudge as I passed out a review packet.
Second period was down to business, and we got all the way through comparative skeletal structures.
It’s always fun to see the lights go on when you show them how a whale’s skeleton is the same as a bird’s, just a little longer in some places and shorter in others.
Kind of like the variations in people actually.
At the start of the morning break Jackie Mace came in holding her avian skeletal identification homework. “Coach, I don’t understand this keel thing.”
The curl at the edge of Jackie’s lip was the same shape as Craig’s as he studied my car in the ditch.
She wasn’t the best student but she was hard-working, tenacious and got results.
Kind of like her uncle. The traits must run in the family.
What would it be like to be more than Jackie’s teacher and coach?
What would Thanksgivings be like? Did she like pumpkin pie?
Did Craig like pumpkin pie? I kind of wanted to find out what kind of pie Craig liked.
Laying the paper on my desk she pointed to the vocabulary list down the side, “I still have keel but I labeled all the bones already.”
“Uh, it’s along the chest, it’s a special part of the sternum.” I tried to focus on the diagram. Tried to be there for Jackie because she needed me. Running my finger across the paper I said, “the keel is this bone that is part of the sternum.”
“It’s part of the same bone? That’s not really a fair question.”
A bird’s keel was part of what made it unique.
People and birds both have sternums, but a bird can fly because its sternum has a keel.
Was it fair to ask students to identify both?
Life wasn’t fair, but it was important to identify those pivotal distinctions because small changes and time can mean the difference between success or stagnation.
Before I could explain, Mr. Lambert strolled into my room.
The janitor peered into the trash can by the door before wandering to the back of the room in his sauntering pace. “Can I help you, Mr. Lambert?” I asked. Jackie turned around like a startled deer, thinking we were alone.
“I don’t know.” He examined the chalk tray on the back board which was clean since we’d converted to white boards. “I’ve been thinking about how important rules are to keep things orderly.”
Jackie turned back to me with wide concerned eyes. She could tell he was talking about something in particular. Not for the first time I wondered how the students saw Mr. Lambert. A snoop? A snitch? A source of amusement? He was hard to get a bead on.
He continued puttering around the room, “If everyone litters, pretty soon we are swimming in trash. If you draw a foul, you get a penalty.”
Basketball. He was talking about Craig. He really suspected something.
Or he knew something. What was there to actually know?
Craig and I had drinks, we had dinner, and we’d come to school functions, separately.
My eyes met Jackie’s. Did she know? What had Craig told her?
Unable to hold Jackie’s gaze I nervously looked back to Mr. Lambert.
“Enough fouls, and you get ejected from the game,” he continued.
Reaching into a trash can at the back he tied up the liner and pulled it out from the can, “Ah, just what I was looking for.” Then staring right at me he added, “A milk carton. Leave something like this too long and it goes rotten, smells the whole place up. Much better to deal with it early.”
Jackie’s eyes played over my face, trying to read me, wondering if she was the target of Mr. Lambert’s musings or if I was. What did Jackie have to worry about? Did she feel any stress from Craig living with them?
“Glad you found it,” I said. “Jackie and I were just talking about the skeletal structure of birds. They’re really dinosaurs you know.” Then just because I could, I added, “All the dinosaurs that weren’t flexible, adaptable, they all died out.” I can insinuate insults as well.
Walking toward the door his filmy trash bag, weighed down by a single empty bottle of strawberry milk, swung in his hand.
“I don’t know anything about that, Ms. Horner.
That’s why I don’t teach. I’m just here to take the trash out, and tidy up the messes.
If you come across any messes let me know, and I’ll be by.
Or if I see them myself, I can take care of them.
No worries.” Then he shuffled out with a wide toothy smile.
There must be something in how people turn the edges of their mouths because unlike the pleasant inviting openness of Craig’s grin, Mr. Lambert looked like he wanted to eat something.
We were silent for a few heart beats before Jackie managed to say, “I think I need to go.”
“Okay sure. I can tell you really enjoy this stuff. You might think about taking AP Bio next year.”
Clutching her binder, she nodded absently, “Yeah. Maybe. Thanks again Coach.” And then she scurried out the door. No one wanted to be on the bad side of Mr. Lambert. But Craig may have found Mr. Lambert’s bad side for me.
Shortly after the last bell of the day, while I was still entering grades for the day but before I reviewed tomorrow’s lesson plan, Mia shuffled into my classroom. Her maternity dress clung to her belly way tighter than I remembered. She looked like she was ready to pop.
“What are you up to tomorrow night?” she wheezed, leaning against a desk and not even trying to sit down on the narrow seat.
“Nothing special.” Just waiting for Craig to call.
“I need a few last-minute baby things and need someone to carry the bags. Silas is out of town on a work thing this week and I’m not sure how long I can put it off.”
Setting the papers aside, I studied her. I didn’t have much experience with babies but she looked ready to pop. “I can do that. How long do you have?”
“The doctor says six weeks but we’re scheduled for another ultrasound next week. I think they goofed in their figures and they want to recheck.”
“I’d get a second opinion,” I added.
“A little late for that. But you can do tomorrow?”
“Sure, it’ll be fun. We can get dinner afterwards if you’re up to it.”
Mia stood to go, “We’ll see.”
“Or take out.”
“You can eat,” Mia snorted. Patting her belly she said, “This guy loves to give me heartburn.”
“Frequent small meals. That’s how to lick that. When my team is training, that’s the best way to keep your energy up but not feel bloated.”
“I really hope you get that coaching position. We can do take out,” Mia conceded.
“You’re eating for two,” I reminded her
“Doesn’t feel like it,” she complained.
“Come by around 4:30. I don’t have practice.” Then thinking about the state of my car, I added, “And you probably want to drive. My car is not up to passengers.”
“Oh?”
Not wanting to go into it I said, “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
“You’d better. All I’ve got going on is swelling feet and sprints to the restroom.
” Turning back at the door she looked me up and down before sighing, “They tell you about the back pain, and the indignity of little heels on your bladder, but no one mentions fat feet. I should do a line of maternity shoes on Etsy.”
“You’d make a killing. See you tomorrow,” I assured her.
Finishing up my work I took the closest exit, even though the staff parking lot was on the other side of the building.
At this hour Mr. Lambert would be roaming the halls with either a mop or a trash can and I didn’t need to see him again.
Why did he need to be in everyone else’s business?
How did it hurt him if two consenting adults spent some time together without notifying the district.
And the district. Since when did they really need to know about Craig and I?
And what was there to know. Craig wasn’t Jackie’s dad.
And we’d only been on the one definable date.
No denying it was a date. Kind of disastrous, but a real date.
Flashes of tree branches and mud splattering the windshield rolled over me.
My car was still a mess. On the way home from work I drove it through a car wash.
With the water whooshing overhead and around me I closed my eyes.
Craig had really gone above and beyond. He hadn’t waited with me for the tow-truck to arrive, he was the tow-truck.
Free of charge! Asking him to fill out paperwork and sit down for an interview after that was an insult.
What had I really brought to the situation?
My good looks? My sparkling conversation?
Sleepless paranoia was more like it. And who needs that.
What did he see in me? I parked my now clean car and went inside.
The ground was hard again, a cold snap was settling on the Spokane valley and there would be fresh snow in the mountains.
The house’s furnace was pumping hot air out of the vents when I came in and I toyed with the idea of curling up on one of the vents like I’d done as a child.
Instead, I did the adult thing and made dinner.
Penne with peppers and sausage. Forking up mouthfuls, I watched the evening news, and tried to not think about the one thing that I really wanted to think about. He still didn’t call.
After puttering around with the dishes and dusting knick-knacks, like the life preserver on the wall, the jars of shells, and the coffee table books about boats and islands that were just for display, I returned to my bed.
It was a queen, with puffy pillows and a full-bodied comforter.
Wadding up my shirt I took a shot at the laundry basket.
Between the release and the swish I wondered if Craig’s legs would stick out of the bed.
He was tall. I missed the shot, the blouse striking the edge of the hamper and falling to the floor.
I checked my cell six times before I fell asleep.
No texts. No calls. When I saw dream Craig step out of my bathroom, I wanted to be mad.
You said you’d call. My mouth wouldn’t speak, only smile.
Despite my frustration, the smile on my lips spread all the way into my toes.
There was a small crack in his lower lip, just to the right of center.
Tan lines along his neck and elbows decorated his skin.
He laughed as he spoke, his chest shaking and the tiny drops of water clinging to his hair fell off him.
Even in my dream I wanted to be angry with him for being just like every other guy, dismissive, self-centered, hiding ulterior motives, but I couldn’t.