Twenty-Five
Craig
The back door slipped out of my hands and crashed closed behind me, announcing my arrival home. Still seated at the table, Kathy and the kids jumped at the sound. Something clattered in the sink as Lukas dropped it.
“Sorry,” I apologized, hanging my head. Dinner was mostly over and Darren’s homework was spread out beside his plate.
I’d stayed to finish my coffee and ponder the implications of Rilee’s request. Dinner.
Her place. Friday night. Even after leaving First Avenue Coffee, I’d driven round the block before pulling my truck up to Kathy and Lukas’s place.
All I had to my name was an old truck, a dwindling bank account, and the clothes on my back.
And not even all of that was mine, I admitted, rubbing my hand across the fleece now hugging me.
The coat smelled musky, of fresh leather, and it was warm.
Just the way Rilee made me feel. For some reason the fact I was a deadbeat didn’t seem to matter to her.
“Sorry,” I repeated myself to the family. “I’m a bit later than I planned,” I explained as if I was one of Kathy’s kids. Even as an adult it’s hard to break the older-younger sibling dynamic.
“Nice jacket,” Jackie observed, fork in hand.
“It was a gift,” I said hurriedly. I made sure the unspoken message, I still can’t afford to move out, was clear. Without Kathy and Lukas’s generosity I’d be living in my truck and I didn’t want them thinking I was freeloading.
“From whom?” Kathy asked the obvious question.
“Uh,” I searched for a good answer but Lukas saved me.
“Coffee girl, of course.” Lukas’s lips curled into a smirk as he leaned against the counter. “Kathy said you saw her again last weekend.”
Not ready to take off the jacket, I stayed standing but leaned against the back of a kitchen chair. “She wanted to say thanks for pulling her out of the mud.”
“That is some thank you,” Kathy whistled. “You’ve only seen this girl a couple times now?”
“More than that,” I defended Rilee. “The gym, we went for coffee, she was at my CPR class, the play, and today,” I ticked the events off on my fingers. “Five times.” Not entirely an accurate count, but who was paying attention.
“Oh. This sounds kind of serious.” Kathy said, putting both hands on the table, “and we don’t really know anything about the girl. What’s her name?”
“Rilee,” the word was out of my mouth before I could stop. I swallowed Horner under Jackie’s intent gaze and reached for a glass of water to clear my throat. “And she’s not a girl, she’s around my age.”
“Okay baby brother,” Kathy laughed, raising her hands in defeat. “What does this woman do besides go to the gym and drink coffee?”
“That sounds like a full-time job to me,” Lukas snickered.
She teaches at Jackie’s school and is her basketball coach was the wrong answer.
I could come clean, here was the opportunity, but I held back.
I’m not sure if it was out of concern for Jackie, or if it was the fact Rilee and I hadn’t discussed what we would tell people. Or if there was even something to tell.
“She cooks.” A truth. Though it’s not what she does for a living.
“Does she cook for you?” Lukas asked with a bit of a leer.
“She is on Friday. Her place.”
The words dropped a current of silence on the kitchen.
Kathy bit her lip, Jackie raised her eyebrow, even Darren stopped writing, sensing he should be paying attention to something but not knowing what.
Only Camie seemed oblivious. Lukas just looked at me, then pulled out a bottle of bourbon from above the refrigerator and poured two fingers worth into a pair of small glasses.
“I never liked Veronica,” he said, putting one of the glasses in front of me. “So here is to getting back on the horse.” Lifting the glass he drank the coppery liquor.
“Lukas,” Kathy snapped.
“What? This deserves a celebration.” Then turning to me he asked, “You’re going right?”
Sipping the mildly sweet liquid I nodded, “I’m going.”
Kathy looked at her kids before saying, “I’m happy for you but there are some things you need to think about.”
With a groan Jackie stood up. “Come on kids, Mom and Dad are doing the dishes because they need to talk to Uncle Craig like he is a teenager and can’t if we’re in the kitchen.”
Slipping the jacket onto the back of the chair I sat down against my better judgment.
Once off my feet there was nowhere to run.
But it had been a long day and the inflexible part of my lower back was reminding me I’d been moving around too long.
“Kath,” I started, “I really appreciate you making space for me. And while I am not quite put back together, I’m working on it.
And as for Rilee and me,” admitting her name was both excruciating and pleasurable, “this isn’t my first rodeo. ”
Lukas liked that and smiled, drinking the last of his bourbon and saluting me with his empty glass.
“You’re going to take her flowers or something right?” Kathy asked. “I mean she gave you that coat.”
“He’s a grown man living in his sister’s house, Kath, he’s not an idiot,” Lukas smirked.
The look on Kathy’s face told me that while I might not be an idiot, Lukas was acting like one, and she’d make him remember it. Finishing the drink, I looked at what was left of dinner, noodles and chicken in some kind of white sauce. “I’ll get her something. Bottle of wine for dinner, maybe.”
Lukas snapped his finger at me, “See, he knows what to do.”
Kathy dished me up a plate and then cleared the rest of the table. “I’m sure he does. Dad always knew how to treat his wife right.” Lukas was really in the dog house.
I wanted to say leave the dishes I’ve got them, but I didn’t have them.
On my empty stomach the bourbon provided a welcomed fuzziness to the pressure in my back and the throb in my thigh, but standing at the counter washing plates was going to be beyond me for at least a few hours and bending over to fill the dishwasher would have to wait until tomorrow.
So, I let Kathy wash up after she shooed Lukas out of the kitchen.
He gave me an encouraging fist bump and I just shook my head at the poor guy.
I ate my dinner in silence while Kathy left me to my thoughts.
After the work with Ulrich and all the driving around I was worn out.
My back throbbed and I could feel a wobble beginning in the knee and ankle of my bad leg.
Smiling a thank you to Kathy who nodded wordlessly back at me as she took my plate, I gathered up my new jacket and shuffled off to my bedroom.
Jackie’s bedroom. This really couldn’t keep on.
Only a few weeks had passed since the safety supervisor position had closed, they should be starting to make calls for interviews.
I’d check in with them tomorrow, following up was part of job searching.
I sat down on the toilet while I brushed my teeth to give my leg a break.
Falling in the bathroom was just embarrassing, and it made a loud noise.
Rinsing my mouth I reached for the medicine cabinet.
I fingered the bottle of hydrocodone and then put it back.
I’d probably sleep better but I’d taken them for three days.
If I wasn’t careful when I finally stopped taking them I’d get the crazy leg itches again.
They were worse than the back pain. Putting the bottle back I doubled up on the Tylenol and took two Advil PMs.
In high school, other than an occasional illicit beer, I’d stayed away from pot and other things.
Working weekends around saws and seeing a few accidents was sobering and an early reminder of the cost of not being alert.
Now I was mixing my pharmacology like a bartender.
How times change. Doubling up a few hangers to handle the weight of the coat, I made room for the jacket in my closet and lay down waiting for the sleep aid to take effect.
What should I get Rilee? The jacket set the bar pretty high.
It was useful, and thoughtful, and just my size.
She really had me dialed in. What did I really know about her?
She didn’t get along with her dad? That wasn’t helpful.
She coached basketball. I didn’t really want to remind her of Jackie, or think about the situation myself.
She was beautiful. And she made my day brighter.
As the sleep aid took effect I drifted off with the memory of the sun on her smiling face.
Fully settling into sleep, I found myself face to face with myself.
In the mirror I looked younger, fitter, and standing at an unfamiliar sink.
If it wasn’t for a new patch of gray forming on my chin I would have mistaken it for a memory.
The room was white with accents of blue, and muted browns, and the air was thick and warm with humidity.
A jar full of shells and sand sat on the counter, a single small piece of dark driftwood giving the collection some color.
Reaching behind me I pulled a towel off the rack and wrapped it around my naked waist.
The towels were crazy in comparison to the tasteful and carefully decorated bathroom.
Well known cartoon ducks were emblazoned on the towels. One sported a blue naval uniform in a dinghy, the other had a girl duck in a bow and pink dress and blowing a kiss while standing on a dock. The boy towel around my waist I opened the bathroom door and there was Rilee.
Her back was bare as she sat on the edge of a bed, a white comforter gathered around her, mussed in a way that announced a late morning and two bodies in the bed.
She looked over her naked shoulder, and smiled her open shining smile.
The hint of a laugh tickled her lips. Leaning against the door frame I watched as she slid on a lacy but practical black bra and contorted herself to secure the hooks. How do women do that?