Chapter Twenty Five Willow
Chapter Twenty Five
Willow
I’m off work today and Dragna told me he had a surprise for me and I don’t know what to think as I finish getting ready, preparing for him to pick me up.
I have seen him every day since dinner with his mom last week. Whether it’s been him coming here for dinner and a movie, or me going to his house to walk the dogs, to shopping together and late night drives in his car, we haven’t been apart much save for when I’m at work and he’s at the club.
I can feel the negative thoughts creeping in about why he has chosen me and why someone like him would want me and as much as I have tried to stomp them down, I woke up this morning with a horrible feeling in my chest and stomach that he is going to realise I’m nothing special and move on to someone more deserving of him.
I finish curling the last section of my hair when I see his car appear on the camera feed and I take a big deep breath in trying to calm my nerves.
The knock at the door comes and I take a look at myself in my mirror at the effort I’ve put in, trying to convince myself that the thoughts I have aren’t my reality and that Dragna has only shown me effort and care, proving he does want to be with me.
It doesn’t help though, when I find myself spiralling like this there isn’t much that can pull me out of it until the thoughts pass on their own.
I take another deep breath in and exhale slowly as I make my way down the stairs and open the front door to let Dragna in.
He stands looking as commanding, dangerous and as beautiful as ever and suddenly my spiralling mind goes even further into thoughts of unworthiness.
“Are you okay?” His voice is gentle and sincere as I feel his hands on the tops of my shoulders and he leans down to make eye contact with me.
I try my best to give him a convincing smile as I nod my head.
“I’m fine, just tired!” I tell him and a second later he pulls me into his embrace.
“You’re a terrible liar moya dusha.” He says as he strokes my head softly with one hand while the other is wrapped around my back holding me to him.
I feel tears prickle at my eyes but I refuse to let them fall. If I do, he will definitely realise I’m not as stable as I appear to be and he’ll run a mile if he hasn’t already planned to anyway.
“Talk to me.” He continues when I haven’t said anything back to him.
“My brain is just being silly today.” I speak into his chest as I breathe in his aftershave, not wanting him to let go of me.
“Well then, you can decide what we do today. Would you rather relax and we can stay in, or I can tell you where I was going to take you and you can see if you’d still like to go out?
” He offers still holding me close to him except now he is resting his chin on my head and I feel the urge to cry again.
He makes me feel so supported despite my stupid mind trying to convince me otherwise. Be brave Willow I tell myself. He wants to be with me, he wants to spend time with me, he likes me exactly as I am I repeat over and over again as I think about what I would rather do today.
“I don’t want to ruin the surprise, so don’t tell me anything. Let me get my coat and we’ll go. I’m okay, honestly. I just had a moment.” I tell him as he lets go of me and looks into my eyes looking for any sense that I’m not telling him the truth.
He gives me a nod before leaning down and kissing my forehead as he reaches behind me. He lifts my coat off the hanger in the hallway and holds it open for me being the true gentleman he is.
“I think where we are going will help calm your mind.” He says as I put my arms into my coat and he pulls it up over my shoulders.
“It’s somewhere I used to go when I couldn’t quiet my own mind.” He continues before lifting my handbag, closing the front door and taking my hand in his, leading me to the car.
“I’m intrigued to see what kind of place it is now.” I joke with him, attempting to lighten the mood a little as he opens the door for me to get in.
“If I know you like I believe I do, you’re going to love it.” He says as I climb into the passenger seat and he closes the door.
I watch him walk around the front of the car, the duality of him really sinking deep into my gut.
How he is so gentle with me, with his mother, even seeing him treat his dogs like they are babies now compared to how rough and hard he looks on the outside. He looks like he doesn’t have a forgiving bone in his body, but his words and actions towards those he loves tells a different story.
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He was right, this place is beautiful. I can’t believe I have never thought to come here before.
The aquarium has brought a sense of peace and tranquility over me that I never knew I could achieve.
It’s also made me think of what was going on in his life at the time he would come here to clear his head and what he was like then.
I’m a little envious of anyone who has known him for so long, then I’m reminded of our age gap and the fact that I would have been a literal child when he was coming here and I cringe to myself then realise I’m thankful to have met him when I did.
“I can’t believe we are the only ones here today. I thought it would have been so busy considering it’s a major tourist attraction.” I say as we sit on a bench surrounded only by the lights illuminating the giant tank in front of us.
“I may have pulled some strings.” He replies casually and I turn to him in shock.
“You didn’t…” I say, mouth agape and taken aback.
“I told you I would do anything for you and I meant it. I knew you needed something calming and in an environment where you wouldn’t be looking over your shoulder with everything that’s been going on.
This is the least I can do for you.” He replies shrugging his shoulder as if booking out an entire aquarium just for us is as casual as booking a table in a freaking restaurant.
“You are absolutely insane do you know that?” I tell him while shaking my head in disbelief and laughing lightly.
“Insane for you, yes I do know that.” He replies as he rests his arm over my shoulders and pulls me into his side.
I bring my hands up to cup his face, feeling empowered to make the first move, and when I do, he looks down at me before bringing his own hand up to tilt my head back a little further forcing me to drop my hands back down.
“I have never felt this way about anyone before and I know I never will again. You are smart.” He says as he leans down and kisses me on my jaw.
“You are beautiful.” Another kiss to my neck.
“You are kind.” He kisses his way to the other side of my throat.
“You are passionate about the things you love.” He gently bites my neck and I let out a whisper of a moan.
“You are just you… Everything I never knew I needed or wanted and I will do everything in my power to show you that, every single day for as long as you will allow me to.” And with those words he captures my lips in a kiss so soft yet demanding, so overwhelming yet peaceful and so powerful that I feel the meaning behind every single word he spoke.