Chapter Thirty Six Dragna
Chapter Thirty Six
Dragna
The lights are still on when I arrive home and I hang my head knowing Willow is probably still awake.
The meeting I held tonight was for fucking nothing because even with Nikolai present going over all the data we have now on the car, the stalker is still a fucking ghost. There’s one thing I know for sure though, and it’s that they know exactly who I am and what Willow means to me.
They saw us together in the jewellery store and if Willow hadn’t spied the car, would we have even known we were being watched? And how many times have they watched us without us knowing.
I’m so furious with myself, my men, whoever is stalking my girl and the fucking world that I can feel the heat radiating from my body.
I storm through the doors and head straight to the kitchen to grab a drink.
I know Willow is somewhere in the house, Lev as well since I sent him back here to look after her, but I can’t look either of them yet.
I can’t bring myself to look into Willows eyes and tell her we came up with nothing tonight and that I don’t know if she is safe, even with me trying my best to protect her.
I grab the first bottle I find and pour myself a glass of whiskey before downing it in one go.
I lean on the countertop and try to get a hold over my emotions before going to seek her out.
The only good thing is that I had Ivan collect the necklace I bought Willow earlier today.
He brought it to the club and Nikolai fitted a tracker inside it.
Do I feel like the world’s biggest asshole for putting a tracker on Willow like she’s some kind of animal? I probably should, but I don’t. Not when it could potentially save her life one day. Convincing her to wear it when it costs as much as what it does however, that’s going to be the problem.
I’m losing control when all I’ve ever been used to was having it.
Between Marco asking me about a bigger shipment, the Irish wanting said bigger shipment for fuck knows what reasons and Willow being stalked.
I’m fucked. I pick up the empty glass in front of me and throw it at the wall.
My breathing comes out in harsh breaths and I pace up and down the kitchen.
I hear the soft padding of footsteps approaching and I look up to the doorway to find Willow standing there, staring at me in shock.
She’s wearing one of my shirts, buttoned up to just her chest, slipping off one side revealing one of her shoulders, and it’s so big on her it almost reaches her knees.
Her silky brown hair is tied up in a bun with a few stray strands falling down and framing the sides of her face.
She’s an angel.
If someone ever tried to hurt her, if someone ever tried taking her from me… I would burn New York to the fucking ground to get her back.
She walks slowly and calmly over to me, but before she reaches the broken glass and I stride to her and pick her up before she cuts her feet.
“Watch the glass.” I say as I scoop her up and set her on the counter.
“Talk to me. Why are you throwing glasses at walls Dragna.” She says as she gently holds my face between her hands.
I close my eyes, unable to look at her and feeling like a failure.
“We still can’t find any information on the car.”
She brings my face up to look at her and I last two seconds looking into her eyes before I look away and pull out of her hold.
“Dragna?” She sounds hurt and I feel nauseous at the thought of it being because of me.
“I can’t keep you safe.” I say quietly as I begin pacing the kitchen again.
“Despite everything I’m doing. I can’t fucking keep you safe!” I roar and slam my hands down on the countertop and she jumps at the sound and my head snaps to hers.
“I’m sorry! Blyat’, Willow I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She doesn’t answer me, but her throat works as she swallows and she picks at the skin around her nails, a habit I picked up on that she does when she’s nervous or anxious.
“I just don’t know what to do to help you and it’s killing me. If anything happened to you… I can’t even think about what I would do.” I shake my head and push off the counter, stalking to get another glass.
“Surely the police will keep doing what they can. The guys bound to mess up at some point.” Willow sounds so hopeful while I just scoff out a dry, humourless laugh.
“You don’t think they’ll be able to do anything?
” She asks and I clench my jaw at her question because this entire time she thought the police have been the ones looking for this guy, but it’s been us.
I’ve been lying to her this entire time, about so many things thinking keeping her in the dark would be the better option.
“No, I don’t.” I say, my voice coming out hoarse and low. I pour a glass of vodka and knock it back before pouring another. Willow jumps down off the counter and begins making her way over to me.
“Look at me.” She says sternly and I rub my jaw harshly, ignoring her request.
“Look at me Dragna.” She shouts this time and I inhale deeply before bringing my eyes to hers.
We stand silently together, staring into each other’s eyes.
The quiet that surrounds us feels ominous instead of peaceful and the gut feeling that everything is about to come crashing down makes me want to throw up.
“Why would the police not help?” She stares me down with a mixture of confusion and sudden realisation and I know she’s now thinking if the police were ever even involved. By the way she waits for my answer, she wants me to admit what she already knows.
“You know why.”
“Say it.”
Her eyes begin to glass over and I reach for her to comfort her but she takes a step back, retreating from me. Goosebumps erupt over my body and I physically hunch over slightly, air whooshing from my lungs.
“Don’t do this Willow.” I say as I take a step towards her and she takes another one back, shaking her head.
“Then say it!” She says sternly as her lip quivers and a tear falls from eye.
“You can’t can you? God I’m so fucking stupid! You’re not different at all, I mean you left me on my doorstep for god sake. I should have never given you another chance!”
“No, Willow don’t do this.” I reach for her again but she brings her hands up to stop me.
“Don’t fucking touch me. Just tell me the truth.” She grips her stomach and I know she’s hurting as much as I am right now.
“They wouldn’t be helping because they were never involved.” I sigh and drop my head between my shoulders.
“I had it handled. I have the best men who do a far better job than what the police can do Willow. I promise you that.” I continue as I look back into her eyes and I wish I hadn’t because the hurt in them that I just confirmed what she had been thinking is making me feel sick.
“You promise a lot of things.” She shakes her head at me.
“But promises mean shit all when I don’t trust you.”
“How can you not trust me?” I ask, tears brimming my own eyes now.
“Don’t do that. You’ve been lying to me this entire time!”
“TO PROTECT YOU!” I shout, not directed at her, but I just can’t control the rage I feel at the entire situation. I can’t control myself.
Willow takes another step back, tears flowing freely down her face now and each one sends a stabbing sensation to my heart.
“How can you protect me better than the police Dragna? How can your security do a better job at protecting me than the fucking police!!” She screams back at me and I already feel the carpet being pulled from underneath us both before my next words come out, knowing they will destroy everything.