Chapter 15 #2
“See, that’s wild to me. Do you know what I crave most after a shitty day? A venti iced white mocha with sweet cream cold foam.”
“I have no idea what any of those words mean,” Colt shakes his head, taking a deep pull from his boring black coffee. “I understand them all individually, but once you put them together, they lose all meaning.”
“Coffee, Colt. It’s coffee.”
“Yet none of the words used was coffee.”
“Whatever,” I huff, drinking my unflavored breakfast juice.
“We’ll grab some of your fancy creamer the next time we run to the store,” he chuckles, moustache twitching.
“Did you hear about the bear? Should we be going out for a ride?”
“It’s Montana. There’s always bears. It’s no big deal.”
“No big deal? They kill!”
“So do we,” he shrugs. “I’ll bring protection, and we’ll be fine.”
“Like bear spray?”
“Like a gun,” he replies nonchalantly, like it’s normal to go for a ride with a gun.
“A gun?”
“Sure. It’s illegal to go hunting bears, but if they threaten you or your livestock, and you have evidence, then you’ll be fine.”
“And you have proof?” I ask, narrowing my eyes. He hadn’t said anything about bears when I moved in.
“A couple of dead cows, and some trail cam footage.”
“Seriously?”
“It happens every few years, usually, they move on on their own.”
“I moved to a fucking death trap,” I grumble, sliding down from my chair and putting my mug in the sink.
Colt follows me to the sink, dropping his mug beside mine. “When did you get added to the town group chat, anyway? Sue doesn’t add just anybody.”
“The first night I moved in here,” I shrug. I’m honored she wanted me in the group chat if it really is an elusive thing. It makes me feel less like an outsider. “She stopped me at the grocery store, and that was that.”
“She must have liked you,” he hums.
“Lucky me,” I smile, looking up into his brown eyes. “When do you wanna leave?”
He looks down at his watch. “Twenty minutes?”
“Sure.”
“Wear jeans and shoes with a bit of a heel.”
“Aye aye, captain.”
Huffing out a laugh, he brushes past me, heading for the door. “I’ll be back here soon. Don’t be late.”
It takes me ten minutes to get dressed and braid my hair, and then I’m stuck trying to find shoes with a little heel. Short of wearing actual heels, I don’t really have shoes with a little lift. Just flats and sneakers.
“You ready?” Colt asks, peeking his head into my room.
“No,” I huff, tossing aside another pair of flats. Ideal for teaching, not for being out on the farm. “I have no shoes.”
“Lemme see,” he steps into the room, looking at the options thrown down in front of me. “We need to get you a pair of cowboy boots.” Hands on his hips, he studies the options. “Here. Wear these for now. We’ll go to the tack shop before our next ride.”
He passes me a pair of running shoes with those springy heels. “Okay.” I stuff my feet into the shoes that are a tad too small.
“Good. Let’s go then.” I follow him all the way to the barn.
I haven’t been inside yet, and I don’t think I’ll get to see inside now either.
Two horses stand side by side, just outside of the barn, both with saddles and leads that are hooked to the post of the fence.
“You’ll be riding Dixie. She’s a sweetheart. Perfect for beginners.”
Colter guides me to the horse on the right, a light brown horse that kind of looks like the wild mustang from that one Disney movie.
“Here,” he hands me a carrot. “Lay your palm flat. She’ll find it.
” I do as he says, and he guides my hand under the horse’s nose.
She sniffs around my hand, mouth tickling my palm as she searches for the baby carrot.
“There ya go, Dixie,” Colt pats her shoulder appreciatively once she scoops up the carrot.
“We’re gonna get you up in the saddle, and then I’m gonna go over the important stuff. This is gonna be a bit of a crash course cause I wanna show you something today.”
“What?” I’m not ready to actually ride a horse. I’ve never even touched one until today.
“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t put ya on her if I thought she was dangerous. She’s just gonna saunter alongside Saturn. You probably won’t even need to do anything.”
Colt then proceeds to give me the shittiest lesson I think I’ve ever received.
Feet go here—obviously. Hands hold the reins in the shape of a melting ice cream cone—what does that even mean?
Pull left to go left, pull right to go right—makes sense.
Pull back to stop, but if you pull too much, you’ll go backwards—how much is too much?
Kick to go, kick harder to go faster—no, thank you.
“And the two most important things,” Colt tells me, looking up at me from where he’s patting Dixie. “Don’t panic, and don’t drop your reins.”
“Maybe this isn’t a good idea.” I lick my bottom lip, pulling it in and nibbling. I can’t use Chapstick, or else I get little breakouts, so I’m stuck with perpetually chapped lips, constantly licking away the dryness.
“I promise you, Dixie won’t let anything bad happen to ya. We put toddlers on her. She’ll follow Saturn—slowly. You just have to sit back in your saddle and follow the motions of her movement with your hips.”
“Colt, you have got to be the worst teacher I have ever met.” What the hell does he mean by ‘follow the motions of her movement’?
“Never claimed to be good at it,” he shrugs, hopping up onto Saturn.
“Sure did give me a lot of sweat over my qualifications though,” I scoff. “Figures.”
“I was an asshole. You’re right. I really am sorry about that. It’s just—you’ve seen the teachers who work there. I don’t think we’ve had a teacher under 35 working there in the past 50 years. I forget that they weren’t always middle-aged.”
“So I took you by surprise, and you lashed out?”
“I don’t like the unsuspected. It never turns out well.”
“Maybe you need to be less suspicious of everyone you come across,” I counter.
My knuckles are white as I grip the reins in an iron grasp, making sure they stay in the formation Colt originally showed me.
I don’t know why I’m holding them all weird like, but it must serve some sort of purpose.
Dixie follows leisurely behind Saturn without my even nudging her, and the two horses seem to take control of the ride.
“Maybe.” Colt shuts down the conversation pretty quickly, leaning back into his saddle like it’s actually comfortable, and letting the silence filter in.
Cows moo in the distance, but there’s no human sounds.
No voices. No machines. Just the wind in the trees and animals in nature. “So, tell me about your brother.”
“My brother? Why?”
“You’ve talked to him almost every night this week. He’s obviously real important to you.” Saturn slows slightly, coming to ride alongside Dixie instead of guiding her. Colt’s leg brushes mine briefly as he comes to ride beside me, sending a spark through me.
“He is important to me. He gave up his life to take care of me,” I shrug, letting Dixie’s movements provide momentum for my actions.
“We never knew who our dads were, and our Mom wasn’t cut out for the job, so when it was either sending me to foster care or taking guardianship over me, he didn’t even hesitate. ”
“Why couldn’t you stay with your Mom?” He asks, one hand reaching up to take off his baseball cap, plopping it on my head instead.
Too afraid to remove either of my hands from the reins, I shake my head until the hat falls backwards, allowing me to see again. “She never wanted kids. But when you’re high as fuck and selling your body, you don’t always think about protection.”
“She was a prostitute?” Normally, when someone finds out about my Mom, they judge not only her, but me as well.
I’m a product of her creation, and apparently, that awards me the same amount of disdain.
But, Colt asks the question without an ounce of judgment in his voice.
He speaks lightly, as if the subject doesn’t bother him.
As if he’s just trying to get to know me.
“Yeah. It’s an easier job to hold down when you show up high all the time.”
“And you know this because?”
“She brought her clients home. They couldn’t bring her home with their wives hanging around, and most didn’t think she was high-end enough to earn a hotel room.”
“She brought her clients home when you were there?”
“Yeah, I mean, there was a short period of time when she didn’t. Fletch hit puberty and got bigger. Her guys didn’t feel comfortable coming over with him in the house. But then he went to university, and they became a lot more interested in coming around.”
I don’t know why I’m telling Colt all of this.
I mean, it’s not that I’m ashamed of my past. I made it through some trying times, and that’s something to be proud of.
I know I’m not my mother, and I know that the right people will see that.
But it’s such a heavy subject, normally, I just choose not to bring it up.
Something about Colt, though, makes me want to share my whole life story.
I told him last night that he didn’t know anything about me, but I want him to. I want him to know everything.
“Jesus, Kayla.”
“What about you? You don’t mention your family ever. Not your parents, or your one brother.”
“Wyatt.” He clears his throat, looking out over the empty field.
We’re down in a valley, in between mountains that tower over us.
It’s beautiful, nothing like living in the city, and I wonder how I ever survived in the hustle and bustle of Chicago when this existed.
“My brother's name is Wyatt. He’s a doctor. He’s currently working with Doctors Without Borders.
” There’s a pride in his voice that he usually only reserves for Ben.
“Wow. That’s amazing,” I tell him honestly. A brief memory of Jake telling me something similar flashes through my mind. “He’s overseas right now, isn't he?”
“Yeah. He left last summer. We won’t be seeing him until next winter, probably.”