Chapter 27
Colter
“I want to read the one about the dinosaur who likes tacos,” Ben insists, and I have to hold back my groan. It’s the same book every night. How many times can he get excited about dinosaurs and tacos?
Kayla had insisted we start reading to him before bed.
Apparently, it fosters creativity, increases literacy, and encourages kids to read more.
I agreed to it, half for Ben’s sake, half for hers.
She keeps saying she has imposter syndrome, but I think she just needs someone in her corner.
Even her brother seems to be rooting for her failure so that she’ll move back to Chicago.
How does someone build confidence in themself when everyone else always seems to be tearing them down?
I won’t be that voice in her head telling her she can’t. Never.
“Are you sure you don’t want to try the new one Kayla picked out at the RaceTrack today?” I suggest instead, looking to the little collection of books we’ve started to build for him. I’ll have to get him some bookshelves soon.
“The RaceTrack doesn’t have good books, Dad,” he sighs, like I’m ridiculous for even suggesting it. “They just sell food.”
“I don’t know,” I hum, picking up the book about a monster truck that goes to the beach. “This looks like a good summer read.”
“Oh my gosh, Dad,” he groans. “A book can’t be a summer book. It’s a book.”
“Alright, alright. My bad,” I grumble. When did my sweet little boy get an attitude? “We’ll read about the dinosaur.”
“Yay!” He basically catapults himself into his bed, pulling the sheets up and over his little body. I chuckle as he kicks his legs excitedly under the covers. “Is Kayla not coming?”
“Kayla is out with your moms tonight,” I tell him. Ben’s face drops a little, and I’ve never related more to my little boy.
“Yeah, I know. I wish she were here, too.”
“She’s coming home, though, right? Can I wait up for her?”
“I think she’s gonna be too late to wait up for,” I sigh. Mandy and Sylvie had pulled her to Wild Hogs for a night out with Sawyer and Penny.
“But she’ll be here in the morning?”
“Yeah, Buddy. She’ll be here in the morning.
” I answer without even having to think about it.
I don’t question if she’ll decide not to come home.
I don’t wonder if she’s going to get bored with what I can offer her and run away.
Kayla has proven that she’s nothing like my mother, and I know there will be days when I worry I’m holding her back, but I also know there will be days that make the doubts seem absolutely asinine.
I hesitate, looking down at Ben’s little blonde head, the same color as Mandy’s hair.
It’s a little weird, seeing Mandy in him.
I have never had any sort of romantic notion towards my best friend.
When she asked me to be the father of her child, I straight-up laughed in her face.
But I’m so happy she convinced me otherwise.
I couldn’t imagine my life without this little boy.
“What would you say if Kayla stayed with us forever?”
“I thought she already was,” Ben blinks, looking up at me. I settle into the bed beside him, fighting back a chuckle.
“I mean, what if one day, she got to be your third mom?”
“Three moms?” His little nose wrinkles, and he shakes his head. I try my best not to let him see my face drop, but holy shit, his rejection hurts. If he doesn’t like Kayla, then we’ll look into getting her somewhere else to live, but I really thought he did like her.
This is my own fault for waiting so long to ask. I should’ve checked in with Ben sooner. He just always seems to be so happy to see her—he’s always reaching for her before he reaches for me.
Shit. Maybe he doesn’t like me either.
“What? You don’t want that?” I ask, clearing my throat. I force the insecurities away. My son loves me.
“I do! But—” he pauses, tilting his head. “What would I call her? I already have a Mom and a Mommy.”
“Fucking hell,” I breathe, releasing a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “You’re pretty creative, Ben. I’m sure you and Kayla could come up with something.”
“Huh,” he nods, like I’ve given him something really important to consider. “You’re right.”
“So you like Kayla, then?”
“I love her, Dad. Duh.”
“Well, alright then.”
“So, can we read now?”
See, that’s what I mean. Kayla’s a fucking awesome teacher. She just needs someone to remind her of that. If I can’t be that person, then at least Ben can.