6. Warren
Jesse hands me a ginger ale and flops on the couch next to me.
“Thanks for coming over and helping me tonight. This is so fucking hard to do on my own.”
“Have you asked Dad and Pops for help?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to burden them. They have plans, and I know they love being grandpas, but they need their time together. I don’t want to overstep and ask for more.”
Jesse is exhausted. I noticed after the auction how less bubbly he was and, after a bit of prying, he finally spilled his guts.
Since his wife left, he’s not used to wrangling a very active young child and balancing work on his own.
Kudos to the single parents out there who do this all the time. It’s not for the faint of heart.
“I’m here for you, too. Please, just tell me if you need me. I can always bring the rabbits over for a reward. She loves the bunnies.”
Jesse grins a tired smile. “She does. Thank you, bro. I might do that.” He sips from his mug of tea and clears his throat. “So…what’s the deal with you and Dane? Do you really hold a grudge because he always beats you?”
Groaning, I let my head fall back on the sofa cushions. “He’s just…I mean…ugh!” There is far too much for me to sum up what Dane is.
Jesse chuckles, and I aim a death glare his way. “Don’t laugh at me.”
“I’m not! It’s just kind of cute how you get so flustered over him.”
“I don’t get flustered!” I huff. I don’t.
Jesse hums and says nothing else. He just sips his tea with his feet up on the coffee table and a stuffed cow on his lap. He has his own problems to worry about. He doesn’t need to poke me about mine.
Not that Dane is a problem.
He’s not.
He’s an irritant at best. Like jock itch.
“I just don’t know how I’m supposed to work with him when all he does is goad me. He’s not a good winner, and he’s been MIA for five seasons. How sharp is he, really? It’s going to frustrate me being so close to him and waiting for him to get his groove back.”
“Being close to him is frustrating?” A playful twitch forms on Jesse’s mouth.
“You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”
“Say what, big brother? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Brothers are the worst.
“He’s attractive, okay? Have you noticed his dimples?
There.” I chug from my ginger ale, suddenly feeling nauseous.
“He’s nice to look at, and he’s mean to me, but yet here I am, always thinking about him.
” Turning to Jesse, I wag a finger at him.
“Never repeat that. I can’t believe I even told you. ”
Jesse shifts to face me on the couch. “Are you afraid to say anything?” he asks softly. “I don’t think he’s actually mean.”
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“For the record, he’s not rusty, Warren. Dad watched him rope, and so did I. He’s still got it.” He sips from his tea with a quiet hum. “I noticed his dimples. Good-looking guy.”
Of course, Dane couldn’t have lost his skill while he was away. The guy is good at literally everything without even trying. I won’t address the dimple comment, though. Nice to know it’s not just me, at least.
“He’s all mysterious, though. Like, even when we were on the circuit together, he never stayed for banquets or any of the socializing. He’d win, take his money, rub my face in it and leave. Every time.”
“Maybe he’s not a party guy or a recovering alcoholic or something.”
Shaking my head, I turn to Jesse fully. This idea of Dane now spilling out since my brother pushed the right buttons.
“Something has always bothered me. I helped him once after a rodeo. Driving home, I found him pulled over on the shoulder. He ran out of gas. Said his gas gauge was acting up, and he didn’t think he was that low. ”
“So, what did you do?”
“Here’s the thing. He had a hose with him, Jesse. A long one. I let him siphon gas from my truck, and he admitted he’d done it more than once.”
Jesse’s eyebrows raise. “You think he steals shit?”
“Not exactly.” I shake my head, trying to say this right.
“I asked if he’d done it before, and he admitted a few times, but when I told him he could owe me if it made him feel better, he got right pissed off.
He was going to sit in his truck and wait for someone else.
He said he wouldn’t owe anyone anything again. That just felt off to me.”
“When did this happen?”
“Almost five years ago now. It was the last time I saw him. Then he didn’t show up the next year, and I still buckled under the pressure and lost to someone new. I had that…mental health break and came back expecting to keep losing to him. But he never came back, and I kept losing.”
I had hoped Dane was the reason I could never perform under pressure. When it became obvious he wasn’t the reason, I lost my excuse. Confronting my inadequacies was a bitch, and I preferred lying to myself most days.
“You know we’re all proud of you no matter what, right? Just because you don’t have the buckle you want doesn’t mean you’re a failure.”
“I know. It’s just…”
It’s a feeling I can’t always put into words is what it is. I’m not ashamed of myself. Most days, I’m pretty fucking proud of what I’ve done despite my challenges. I don’t want to keep Jesse up longer, though. His last blink lasted longer than usual.
“If you’re okay for the night, I’m gonna head home.”
Jesse’s soft gaze stays on me until I have to make eye contact. He’s persistent that way. Or maybe it’s the brotherly bond. Either way, it always works.
“Okay. Thank you for everything tonight, and if you ever want to talk, you know it can stay between us. Just like always, War. You’re still my big brother.”
Smiling, I shake my head as I stand. “I’m barely a year older than you, and you’re taller. But yeah…I know. Love you, Jess.”
As I walk to the front door, he calls out. “I’m just gonna fall asleep right here and now. Lock it behind you, please?”
“I will.”
After slipping on my shoes, I exit and close the door gently. Using my key, I lock the deadbolt before walking to my truck.
The entire drive home, I’m stuck in my thoughts with Dane being front and centre. His number still sits in my contacts on my phone. Newly added when Jesse mentioned that if we’re partnering, we need to work together. I appreciate him giving me Dane’s number and not the other way around.
Rodeo season starts soon, and we’ll need to register, pay fees, and, unfortunately…practice.
The farmhouse is quiet when I let myself in, and after grabbing a snack, I go to my room. Like every night, I check on my rabbits and fill up their water before getting ready for bed. It’s not until I’ve done everything I can to delay contacting Dane that I open a new text message.
Once it’s sent, I turn off my phone and slide into bed.
I’m definitely not thinking of what brought Dane back into my life and rodeo after five years. Or that I might actually be happy about that.
“I’m so fucked,” I whisper into my dark room. Nothing good has ever happened with me and Dane Walker.
“What smells so amazing?”
Pops grins at me as he removes a pan from the oven. “Cinnamon buns! I made them. Your dad is already in the barn, and Jesse is dropping off Maise soon. I figured it called for something fun to eat.”
“Doesn’t Dad sleep in anymore? It’s still early, and we have ranch hands to do all that.”
For a guy who says he’s retiring and wants to spend more time with family, he sure spends a lot of time out in the barn still.
“You know how he is.” Pops shrugs. “He likes his horses, and I think he wants to take Maise on a ride today.”
My gaze lands on the package of hot dogs thawing on the counter. He likely wants to roast hot dogs after a trail ride with his tiny, hot-dog-loving twin as well. I smile at the image because he really is an awesome grandpa.
“I’ll just make a coffee and head out to the barn before work. I’ll see if he needs anything.”
“I’ll pack a few of these buns for you to take. They won’t last long.”
“Thanks, Pops.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket as I make a mug of coffee. My pulse thrums when I see his name pop up.
Dane: Hey. A meeting sounds great. At the rodeo school or some place neutral?
I snort, and Pops raises an eyebrow. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. It’s just… Dad got me into team roping, and I need to practice with this guy for only a couple weeks before we hit the road.”
“Really? He’ll be so happy to watch one of you boys team roping, Warren.
I should probably dust off my cowboy hat and prepare for road trips.
He’s going to want to watch you.” Pops smiles as he packs the cinnamon rolls into an oversized plastic container.
“I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve followed you and Jesse on the road. ”
“It’s been a few years.” Pops nods because he knows it’s when I asked Dad to stop watching. “I won’t ask him to stay home if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m better now. It’s okay.”
“You know he will if you want him to, Warren. He’d do anything any of you ask. If it’s too much knowing he’s in the crowd, just say the word. We both love you and never want to put you in a bad mental state.”
Pops never beats around the bush, and his frank words about why I asked Dad to stop coming to rodeos are a misplaced barb to my skin. “It wasn’t his fault.”
My phone buzzes again.
Dane: Can you decide soon so I can get on with the day, sunshine?
I stab at the buttons to reply.
Warren: at the school in an hour
Pops pushes the container to me with a smile. “He knows that. Have a good day.”
“Thanks.” Pops smiles at me, and there are a few more lines around his eyes and greys in his hair than the day I showed up here mad at the world. He let me be angry and take it out on him and Dad. I can never thank them enough for everything in those few shaky teenage years. “I love you, Pops.”
After a hug, I swipe the container and my coffee and head to the barn. Dad leans against a stall, petting a horse as he feeds it a carrot.
“Morning, Dad. Just checking if you needed help before I leave.”
“Morning, Warren. Just out here checking on the horses. I was thinking I’d take Maise out today on this fella, Maximus.
” He speaks softly to the horse, and I stand next to him as I admire it.
A rodeo horse he bought at an auction a few years ago, after his horse passed away.
Poor Dad was lost without that horse, but when he went to a livestock auction and saw the single horse on the bill, he fell in love instantly.
Maximus was a cow-bred horse and a former barrel racer that took to Dad instantly. He probably paid more than he had to, but he said he felt this horse needed someone like him, and I’m inclined to agree. It’s rare that a horse of this skill set can settle with someone so easily, but Maximus did.
“Sounds like a great day. Pops made cinnamon rolls.” I hold up the container, and he stands taller.
“I’d best get in there before he gives them all away then.”
He doesn’t move, and neither do I, so I just spit it out.
“I want you to watch again this year. Rodeo, I mean. If I’m team roping, I want you to be there, Dad. I know I’m not a kid anymore, but…”
Dad doesn’t let me finish. Instead, he just pulls me into his arms and I almost spill my coffee down his back.
“You’ll always be my kid, no matter how old you get. Thank you. I can’t wait, but if it changes, you tell me, okay?”
“I will.”
“Okay. Get to work then.” He pushes me aside. “I’ve got cinnamon buns to eat and a husband to thank!”
Hopefully, he remembers his granddaughter will be here soon, and he isn’t still thanking his husband in the kitchen when they get here.
After a text from Jesse on my way to town to tell me he’d overslept and Maise was in a mood, I settled in the office at the rodeo school to get some work done before Dane arrived.
Jesse usually takes care of the big stuff, and I’m always careful to leave a note when I’ve left things half finished. My improvements since taking over from Dad in the office have been more helpful than hindrance, at least. Jesse and I make a great team.
After all the struggles I had in school, I’m proud of how I could get caught up and actually graduate.
My reading is still slow, but when I have the time to read and process at my speed, I’m fine.
Once we figured that out, I felt unstoppable.
Dad and Pops lobbied for me and didn’t rest until I finally got what I needed.
A supervised exam for twice as long as most people. Not exactly glamorous, but I couldn’t process words in print like other people could, and it just took me longer.
Jesse leaves a folder with work to be done in the drawer, and sitting on top are the tax forms for Dane with a note to add to payroll.
“This address sounds familiar. Didn’t know he lived in town, but if he’s here, I guess living in town makes sense.”
“Do you always talk to yourself?”
The man in question stalks into the office like he owns the place and flops on the couch across from me.
“Do you always enter buildings when they’re closed?”
“The door was unlocked.” Dane drawls, and his gaze shifts to my container of cinnamon buns on the desk.
I pull the container closer.
“I guess I didn’t lock it after me. Which is fine. It’s how people come in to book stuff occasionally. Beats phoning or emails.”
“Not a fan of faceless contact, are you?”
“It’s easier in person sometimes, is all.”
Neither of us speaks, and the odd feeling that used to surface when he was close returns. A fizzing in my body that I don’t understand. I hated it then, and I hate it now.
“So…team roping is new for you?” I begin because honestly…where do I start with this?
“Yep.”
More silence stretches, and Dane just sits there with his irritating smirk. Like he knows remaining silent pisses me off.
“Fine. I’m just gonna say it. I’ve been thinking about this…
partnership. I’m not a fan of working with someone who has not once shown an ounce of respect to me or the sport.
You’re a sore winner, and you’re mean. My dad wants me to team rope.
He always has, and he has no clue about the tension between us.
” Dane’s smirk fades, and I don’t know why I expected more from him, but now that I’ve opened my mouth, I can’t stop.
“Since you’re probably wondering why I didn’t win the championship while you were away, it’s because I can’t handle the pressure.
Well, not then. I took time off to work on my mental health and just distance myself from rodeo until I could love it again.
I won’t have you mock me about that. I will end this so fast if you push me, Dane.
I want to win, but not at the expense of your jokes. ”
Wow. That feels good to get off my chest. I guess I really was holding shit in. Dane remains silent and chews at his lip.
Then he shocks me with his words.