19. Candice
19
CANDICE
Nathan is late.
I texted him thirty minutes ago, telling him to meet me in ten minutes. Beau is gone for the next few hours, and I’m sitting on my ass in the barn office, doing paperwork like a loser who has nothing better to do with her time. I showered, washed my hair, shaved, and put on makeup, all for Nathan to stand me up. I even wore a nice bra, damn him.
I sigh and turn back to the paper in front of me. It’s Nathan’s weekly community service log that he uses to track his hours volunteering. He’s been working his ass off and the hours are adding up. At this rate, he’ll be done at the rescue in another couple of weeks. I ignore the weird twinge in my chest at that thought, and hastily scribble my initials in the box.
“It’s probably about time to head home,” I say quietly to Tabitha as I cap my pen. She’s curled up on the desk, purring loudly. She’s easy to please. All she needs is a warm office and someone to stroke her occasionally.
I stand up and start putting my coat and scarf back on. The house is only a minute’s walk away, but it’s below freezing outside and the world is covered in snow and ice. We got the water trough heaters set up today so that the horses can still drink water while they’re outside.
I give Tab a parting scratch, and then Nathan bursts through the office door, out of breath and wearing only a denim jacket. Tabitha startles and bolts out the door.
“Oh good,” he says, still catching his breath, “You just got here. Sorry I’m late.”
I don’t correct for some reason—probably because I don’t like the idea of him knowing that I’ve been sitting on my ass waiting for him for twenty minutes. The Viper wouldn’t wait for any man.
“It’s okay,” I say. “How did Beau take it when you told him you couldn’t come?”
“He told me not to breathe in his direction so that he wouldn’t get sick too.”
“Sounds like Beau,” I say. “He’s such a curmudgeon already.”
“Thirty isn’t that old, Viper,” Nathan says. “I’m the same age as your brother.”
“I know,” I say. “That’s why you’ll be a good teacher. Plenty of experience.”
We’re both quiet for a moment, just standing there in the dim and dusty barn office, unsure what to say.
“I’ve never planned to hook up with someone like this,” I admit.
“Me neither,” Nathan says. “It’s awkward, I guess, but we just need to think of ways to ease into it.”
Nathan shrugs his coat off and then comes over behind me and pulls my hair free from my scarf.
“What are you doing?” I ask. The action seems intimate—more intimate, in some ways, than sex would.
“I’m helping you out of your coat,” he says.
“Oh.”
His hands are gentle as he unwinds my scarf and then undoes the buttons on my jacket. He sets them down on a chair, and then tugs my hat off of my head.
“You have the most beautiful hair, Candice,” he says softly, gathering it up into one of his hands. He tugs my head back a bit, exposing my neck. I expect him to lean in and kiss me there, but he doesn’t. He just leans in and breathes me in. I feel my breath hitch, and my hands find the hem of his shirt and tug.
“Nathan. Kiss me,” I tell him.
It’s like my words snap the last tether on his control. He backs me up into the desk, and then boosts me up onto it, coming to stand between my thighs.
“Ask me to kiss you again,” he says. “I need to know how much you want this.” His voice is strained, like he’s unsure of himself, and I want to rid him of all his worries, and give him the permission to enjoy this.
“Please kiss me, Nathan.”
He lets out a groan and then his lips claim mine, teasing and gentle, soft and warm. But still, one kiss from Nathan has pleasure sparking in my core, and I use my legs to draw him in even closer. He presses his lips against mine once more, and his tongue sweeps into my mouth, drawing a moan from me as he pushes into me and then out again.
Nathan’s taste fills me and consumes me, and I’m left breathless and reeling when he pulls away.
“Fuck, Candice,” he says, leaning in and pressing his forehead against mine.
“Was that okay?” I ask. “I mean, if the point is me practicing and learning then maybe you should give me some feedback.”
“We both need to practice this,” he says. “Going slowly, I mean.” He kisses my temple. “Taking our time.” Another one lands on the corner of my mouth. “Enjoying everything, not just racing to the finish line.”
Just when I think I have him figured out, and that he’s just a playboy, he goes and does something tender and kind.
“I still want to know what I should practice,” I murmur, leaning in towards his warmth.
“You don’t need any. You’re sexy as hell and kiss like you’re already ready for me to fuck you.”
Oh my God. My mind goes blank at the thought of Nathan fucking me—at the rough words he just said—and I can’t figure out how to respond.
“Um,” is all I say.
“So that’s all it takes to shut you up, Viper? A little dirty talk?” Nathan chuckles and then sweeps his thumb along my cheek. “You’re cute when you blush.”
“I do want you to fuck me,” I say, my voice shaking with nerves. “I can’t believe it, but I do.”
“Too bad,” he says. “I thought a lot about what our first lesson should be, and I decided it’s going to be all about you, and what you like.”
“Well, what if I want your, uh, you know.”
“You’re not quite ready for my cock, honey, especially if you can’t even say the word. But you’ll get there.”
“I hate you.” I glare at Nathan, but his blue eyes are dancing with mirth, like he’s laughing at me. Unfortunately, he’s so damn handsome it just turns me on more.
“I think you’ll like what I have in mind,” Nathan says. “I’m going to touch you, but I want you to guide me through it. Tell me exactly what you want me to do, exactly how you like it. You made it seem like that asshole never gave you an orgasm. I want to do the exact opposite. I want to show you that a good man always makes his woman feel good, first.”
“Well I guess that doesn’t sound too bad,” I say. I move to unbutton my cardigan, but Nathan stops me.
“Let me do that.”
I nod, at a loss for words again. He peels off my sweater and undershirt in one smooth motion.
“You wore this for me?” he asks, his voice rough as he fingers the strap of my pink mesh bra. It’s simple, but still the nicest piece of lingerie I own.
“I did. Is it too much?”
“How could it be too much?” he mutters, running his finger under the edge of the lace cup. My skin pebbles in response.
“I don’t want to, I don’t know, be trying too hard or something.”
“I love the way you look in this, Candice.” He meets my eyes as he says this, and I feel my waning confidence rise once more.
He strokes my breast through the material, pausing over my nipple and pinching it lightly. “Do you like that, Viper?”
“Yes,” I say. “I think so. You can, um, do that again.”
Nathan does it again, and then leans it and presses his mouth to me, his tongue circling my nipple and then his teeth clamping down on it lightly. A surprising yet heady rush of power fills me and mixes with the pleasure shooting through my core. He’s actually listening to me.
“Can I take this off?” he asks, hooking a finger under my bra.
I nod, and Nathan makes quick work of the clasp in the back. I feel a twinge of embarrassment when it comes off. I was pretty scrawny as a kid, and I haven’t filled out that much in the years since.
“Hey,” Nathan says. “You’re beautiful. Don’t ever doubt that.”
“How could you tell that I started feeling insecure?” I ask.
“You’re bold and confident most of the time. But you seem like you’re shrinking into yourself right now, and I hate seeing it.” He plays with my nipple again, this time stroking and tugging it, and then pinching it until I let out a cry.
“No shrinking, then,” I say. “Bite me here.” I circle my other nipple with my fingers and Nathan lets out a low chuckle.
“Anything you want, Candice. Tonight is yours.”
He bites and licks at my nipples until I’m panting and squirming, digging my fingers into his hair and urging him on. He presses himself in between my legs, and I feel the hard length of him rock against my center. I roll my hips, searching for that perfect friction, as he pulls my nipple between his teeth.
“Nathan,” I whine.
“Tell me what you want,” he says. He cradles the back of my head in his hands, tipping it upwards so that our gazes clash. “Tell me exactly what you need me to do—exactly where you want me.”
“I don’t want to stop here. I want you to touch me,” I say.
“I need you to be more specific,” he says gently. “Tell me where. Tell me how.”
I clam up, nerves racing through me. Asking him for this feels like too much—like it’s wrong for me to want it and to ask for it so brazenly.
“Hey,” he says. “Are you okay? We can stop here if you’re not sure.”
“No,” I say, a tad viciously. “I don’t want to stop. I’m just trying to figure out how to ask you for what I want. I’ve never asked before and I…” I trail off, unsure how to continue.
“Let me help.” A lock of chestnut hair falls across his brow and he rakes it back in place with his hand, flashing me a roguish grin. “I’ll try to guess. And you can tell me when I get it right.”
I nod.
“Do you want me to touch you here?” He brushes my hair behind my ear.
I shake my head.
“What about here?” He touches my waist, tickling me.
I snort out a laugh and jerk away from him. “No!”
“Oh, well what about here, then?” he asks, stroking a hand up my hip.
“Getting warmer.”
He moves his hand between my legs, and strokes me through my wool leggings.
“Please touch me there,” I gasp.
“I’ll do anything you want, Viper. All you have to do is ask.”
Nathan hooks his fingers under the waistband of my leggings, and rolls them down my legs slowly. I kick off my boots and he helps me out of my socks, and then my panties.
“Sit back on the desk,” he says roughly. “Now spread your legs. I want to see all of you.”
Excitement and nerves rush through me as I realize that I’m completely naked in front of Nathan Booth—and completely vulnerable. I sit up on the desk but don’t move my legs apart.
“I think you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” Nathan tells me, holding my gaze. “I promise to do whatever you want, and to stop or keep going whenever you say the word. I will keep you safe.”
Hearing Nathan say that he’ll keep me safe eases my nerves and I find my confidence—my power—once more. I part my legs for him, relishing the feel of his gaze raking over me as I do. Nathan moves between my legs and slowly strokes his hand up my inner thigh, and then across my center. I feel myself shake at the contact. He brushes his fingers across my entrance, gathering the wetness that is pooling there.
“Soaked in anticipation,” he says. “I love feeling how badly you want this.”
He starts to thumb my clit in slow, gentle circles.
“That feels so good, Nathan,” I gasp out.
He continues, working me higher and higher. I’ve never felt anything like this before. Not only in terms of pleasure, but also in terms of care. Ralph never made me feel like this, and he didn’t even try. He always just expected me to come from three minutes of boring missionary, and he never tried to make it better for me. But Nathan is making me the center of his world right now, paying attention to every little moan and cry I let out, increasing or decreasing the speed based on what seems to make me respond.
“I want to feel you inside me,” I cry, all shame at asking for exactly what I want now gone. I want more and I think that more can be found if Nathan fucks me with his hand.
“Christ, Candice,” he says. He pauses, his forehead coming to rest against mine. He grazes my entrance with his finger and then slowly pushes inside.
“Sweetheart, fuck, you’re tight,” he says. “But your cunt is taking my finger so well. Do you like it?”
“Yes,” I gasp out. “I feel so full but I need more of you.”
“I know, honey,” Nathan says, pulling his finger out and then pushing it back in. “I know exactly what this greedy cunt needs.” He adds a second finger, and I feel myself clamp around him. He presses the heel of his palm into my clit, and massages me with it, making me see stars.
“Tell me what you want, Candice,” he reminds me.
“Fuck me with your fingers,” I say. “I’ve never done this before, but I like having you in me like this. Deep.”
Nathan starts fucking me with his hand, slow and steady, and I tip my head back and move my hips, trying to thrust myself onto his hand. The sensation is overwhelming and I can barely see through the haze of pleasure consuming me.
“I feel like—I feel like I’m on the edge of something, but I can’t seem to tip over it.”
“I know honey, I know,” Nathan says softly.
He moves his fingers and starts to rub my clit, his touch featherlight and gentle. I cry out, jerking my hips and hoping he gets the message because I am so fucking beyond words right now.
“God, Candice, you look so fucking good right now. I could spend all day working your cunt into a frenzy like this, keeping you on this edge until you’re begging me to give you what you want.” He keeps the touch on my clit light, just skating over it, again and again, and it drives me insane, coiling the pleasure inside of me tighter and tighter, but never letting it go.
I open my eyes for a moment and catch Nathan staring right at me, his eyes blazing with lust and something stronger that I can’t quite name.
“I want you to know,” he grunts out, “how fucking good it can be when someone makes your pleasure their number one priority. Are you starting to see? Do you feel it?”
“Yes,” I cry out. “Yes.”
And then something incredible happens. Nathan strokes me a bit harder, his calloused fingers hitting me exactly where I need them to, and I tip right over that edge, the orgasm consuming me. I moan and sob as he continues to circle my clit, over and over, as the waves crash over me. And though I expected to feel vulnerable like this in front of Nathan, there’s no room to be shy or unsure as black fills my vision and my world narrows to the feel of his fingers rubbing over my slick cunt.
Nathan draws the orgasm out longer than I thought possible. When I finally come down I’m shaking and he’s there to hold me, pulling me against his chest. I take a few deep breaths to steady myself and then I gently ease away from him, needing to tell him how good I feel.
“Nathan,” I say. “I have no words for whatever that was.”
“In a good way?” he asks, looking genuinely concerned.
“Yes, in a good way! That was incredible and intense and I’m very grateful.”
“Don’t thank me. I enjoyed that almost as much as you did.”
I almost make a joke, but he looks completely serious, so I just nod. I guess Nathan is as attracted to me as I am to him. I might have been reluctant to admit that, especially given how he treated me when we first met, but there’s no denying it now—not after what just happened between us.
I pull my clothes back on as a wave of cold washes through me. The barn is well heated but it’s still freezing outside, and without Nathan’s body around mine I miss my layers. We walk outside into the snowy fields, and part ways.
“See you tomorrow,” I say quietly.
Nathan smiles back at me, and instead of one of his charming, flirtatious smiles, it’s a real one. All teeth and cheeks, nothing composed or slick about it.
I want to pull my phone out and capture the moment—to save this version of him forever.