30. Nathan
30
NATHAN
“And you’re absolutely sure of what you saw? And heard?” Amber asks for about the fifteenth time.
I’m standing outside the Wilson’s house pacing as I talk to my manager. We’ve been on the phone for half an hour, and when I walked over here to see what Beau and Candice were up to on their day off, I assumed Amber and I would be done speaking shortly. But she keeps asking me to repeat myself.
“Yes,” I say. “I’m positive.”
“Okay.”
“Okay what?” I ask, frustrated.
“We can report it,” she says firmly.
“Thank—”
“But only after we gauge public opinion on you. Western Horsewoman wants to do a follow up piece on you. Not a cover or anything, but they got interested in your work at Star Mountain. They want to interview you again, and do a shoot there with the horses.”
“Okay,” I say slowly, digesting this information. “But I’ll have to ask the people who own this place. And they should be featured in the article as well.”
“Sure, of course. But Nathan?”
“Yeah?”
“This is your chance to save your career. So they better say yes.”
With that, she hangs up the phone on me. The idea of doing another interview sets me on edge because I’m sure the magazine will ask about the fight, but I can’t deny that it’s a good idea. Nothing screams upstanding and remorseful like working at a horse rescue, and I’m sure Amber is hoping the magazine will frame me as some sort of fallen hero finding his feet again.
Plus, this could be the key to getting my career back and landing endorsements again. I’d be able to keep supporting the ranch. My siblings might think things are fine, but I want the business to turn a real profit one day, and the more I work, the more I’m able to help them out whenever things get tough. I’d also be able to continue donating to the rescue. I could help Candice expand this place.
I imagine taking her to a horse auction, and the way her eyes would light up if I told her she could buy as many horses as she wanted. She could make part of Star Mountain Horse Rescue into a sanctuary—a place for horses to stay, forever, without having to retrain or change themselves in order to get adopted.
The interview can’t go ahead until Beau and Candice sign off on it though, so I decide that there’s no point feeling too hopeful about it just yet. I knock on their front door, and when no one answers, I let myself in. It’s never locked, and Beau has told me at least ten times that I’m always welcome.
The delicious smell of cinnamon and butter fills my nostrils as I walk through the house. I head towards the kitchen, where I hear Beau and Candice joking around and bickering.
“Hey,” I say over the din.
“Nathan!” Candice says, her face immediately flushing when she sees me. “Were we expecting you?”
“Nope,” I say. “But I wanted to see what you two were up to since I knew you both decided to take a day off for once.”
“We’re making cinnamon rolls,” Beau supplies.
“I see that.”
“Mom’s recipe, with pecans in them. She made them for me and Beau all the time, and I loved them when I was little. Grammy used to make them, too.” Candice grins at me, and I notice that there’s a dusting of flour across her cheek. She looks adorable.
Beau gives his sister an odd look, like he can’t quite believe that she’s opening up to me about their family so easily. He looks at me, and then back at his sister, like he’s trying to figure out what is going on. I just keep my face neutral, and go over to the sink to wash my hands.
“What can I do to help?” I ask.
“Here,” Candice says, passing me a bowl. “Mix that together.”
I mix up the brown sugar and cinnamon, and Beau rolls out the dough, forming it into a perfect, neat rectangle. Candice grabs the first batch of pastries out of the oven and sets them to cool on the kitchen table. She shows me how to spread the butter, sugar mixture, and nuts onto the dough, and then she rolls it up and lets me cut the log into pieces.
“This is nice,” she says softly.
“It is, isn’t it?” I grin.
“What are you two whispering about over there?” Beau asks.
“Why so suspicious?” Candice whips back.
“I can’t have my best friend and sister conspiring against me,” he grumbles. “Plus it freaks me out seeing you guys get along. I’m used to you hating each other and that’s it.”
“Nathan and I are friends now too,” Candice explains, like it’s nothing.
“Really?” Beau snorts.
“Really, really,” she says. “We have to train together and it doesn’t make sense for us to be fighting around the horses. They would pick up on the bad energy.” She swishes by me and pops the cinnamon rolls in the oven, her hips brushing against me as she does.
“Whatever is going on between you two, I will figure it out,” Beau says. “I’m smarter than both of you.”
“Good luck with that, Sherlock. But you won’t find anything because there’s nothing going on,” Candice says placidly.
I feel extremely uncomfortable, so I pick up one of the cinnamon rolls from the cooling rack. I stuff it in my mouth and hope that it deters Beau from asking me any questions.
“Should we go work with Brown Sugar?” Candice asks. “I think she’s ready to graduate to riding. She’s been doing well with the groundwork. And you can help me write some photo captions for the rescue’s account. I have writer’s block.”
“Sure,” I say, around the pastry. “Sounds good.”
Candice goes upstairs to change into riding clothes, and I stand awkwardly in the kitchen while Beau does the dishes.
“Tell me straight what is going on with you and my sister,” Beau says calmly as he scrubs a large metal bowl.
I consider my options. Absolute honesty is not an option—he wouldn’t approve of either deal we’ve struck, especially not the one that has me teaching Candice how to come on my cock. Multiple times. Lying and saying that nothing is going on is out, too, because he already knows that something is up and a lie will only make him more suspicious. So a half-truth it is.
“I like her is all,” I say. “More than I thought I did. We get along really well.”
“As more than just a friend?”
“I’m figuring that out,” I say. That’s a lie, but it’s one he will believe. I already know that whatever it is I feel for Candice goes so far beyond friends.
“Don’t say a word to her about it until you figure it out and are sure of yourself,” Beau says.
“Why not?”
“Because Candice wants a relationship about as badly as you pretend you don’t want one. And if you start something with her and don’t mean it, it will break her heart.”
This isn’t new information. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that Candice Wilson has a huge heart, but also a fragile one. And Beau is right—I do pretend not to want a relationship. But it’s for my own happiness as well as for hers. I’m sure I’d just ruin things if we tried.
“You’re assuming she feels that way about me back. But I’m pretty sure she doesn’t.” The words hurt to say but at least they’re honest. Candice has never indicated that she views our arrangement as anything other than casual and convenient.
“I know my sister. She’s not nice unless she means it. There’s no artifice with her.”
“Does it bother you, though? The idea of the two of us being…uh, friends.”
“No,” Beau says simply. “You’re a good man, even if you don’t think you are. And my sister is a grown woman who can handle herself. If you hurt her, she’ll land the first punch and then I’ll finish you off.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Candice comes back into the kitchen, bright eyed and dressed for riding in the cold. She has a bandana tied under her Stetson to keep her head warm, and her hair is in two long pigtails. She looks so happy, so perfectly her, that it makes my heart ache.
“What?” she asks me. “Why are you staring at me?”
I am in love with Candice Wilson.
I am in love with her, and I can do nothing about that fact but stare at her with my mouth slightly agape.
“Nathan?” she prompts.
I quickly collect myself and say, “Nothing. Let’s get going.”
But I catch Beau’s expression from the corner of my eye, and I know he’s seen my feelings written all across my face. Instead of looking pissed, though, he’s got a small smile on his face. Huh.
Candice and I walk outside, the thin layer of snow crunching under our boots as we make our way from the house to the barn.
“I don’t really want to train Brown Sugar,” I say.
“And I don’t want you to help me with social media.”
“Should we go for a ride instead?” I suggest.
“Definitely,” she says, smiling. “But let’s make it a race.”
“What does the winner get?” I ask, though I have a pretty good idea as to where her mind has gone.
“The loser gets on their knees for the winner.”
Fuck. Win or lose, I’ll be one lucky bastard.
“Deal.”
We grab Ballantine and Maggie from their paddock, and lead them inside to tack them up. Ballantine seems completely at ease with the mare, and it’s nice to see him so settled here. It might be time to start training another reining horse—Ballantine might be happier spending his days outside munching on grass and being free to do whatever he likes.
Candice and I both buckle on some chaps in the barn. Hers are dark brown and wrap around her thighs snuggly, highlighting her round peach of an ass.
“Men,” she mutters, catching me staring at her.
“Don’t act like you weren’t checking me out too.”
I turn around and wiggle my ass for her, eliciting a fit of giggles from her and even a hoot.
“Does that move normally work for you?” she asks through laughs.
“Always,” I say. “The ladies love it.”
She slaps me on the ass in response, making us both laugh harder, and inexplicably, making me ache for her. I grab her hand and quickly pull her into a nearby empty stall. I press her up against the wall gently, and lean in and kiss her neck, and then along her jaw, savoring the feel of her soft skin under my lips.
“What am I learning today?” she whispers, as my lips trail down her neck once more.
“A lesson in being quiet.”
She whimpers, and I claim her mouth with mine once more, swallowing her moans.
“I need you right now, Viper,” I say softly. “I want to claim you right here, fill you up, and have you biting back your screams.”
Candice’s hands claw on my clothes in response. She rips my shirt from my waistband, unzips my jeans, and works her way to free my cock.
“I love how hard you are for me already,” she says, stroking me through my boxers, and then tugging me free. She pulls on my cock, wrapping her palm around me and squeezing just the way I like it. “Touch me, too,” she demands.
“I like it when you order me around,” I whisper against her neck. “I like when you tell me exactly what you need.” I unbuckle the top of her chaps, and then slide them and her jeans and panties down her thighs. She tries to spread her legs, but they’re bound close together by her chaps. “Such a good slut, trying to spread yourself out for me immediately, trying to show me how ready you are.” I run a knuckle along her cunt, and find that she’s already dripping. I push one finger inside of her, and she moans, the sound echoing around the empty space.
“Quiet, remember?”
She nods.
I pull a bandana from my back pocket. “Open your mouth,” I order.
“Why?” she asks, squirming on my hand.
“So I can gag you, and then fuck you as long and hard as I want in here with no one hearing.”
Candice says nothing, just opens her mouth, ready and waiting for the gag. I tie the bandana around her mouth lightly, and ease my fingers back into her cunt, fucking her slowly and steadily. She feels like tight, hot, silk, and I watch as her eyes roll back into her head.
“I could do this all day,” I say roughly. “I could watch you take my fingers all fucking day. You look like a goddess.”
She whimpers, the gag blocking most of the sound, and tries to widen her thighs again to no avail. I grab her hands and hold them above her head, and move my fingers to her clit. I draw small, featherlight circles on it, drawing out her pleasure slowly.
“You’re completely at my mercy like this, and you love it, don’t you? It’s just what a slut like you wants. You want to be bound and gagged and fucked until you can’t walk.”
Candice nods, her eyes wild, and she jerks her hips towards me, seeking more friction from my hands. I rub her harder, unable to resist giving her exactly what she needs—unable to deny myself the pleasure of making her come undone. The orgasm rockets through her and she convulses against the wall, her pleasure making her shake and moan around the gag.
I pull away before she’s finished, though, and swiftly turn her around so that she’s braced against the wall. She arches her back and pushes her ass towards me, her cunt pink and wet and ready for my cock.
“I’m gonna fuck you now, Viper,” I say, rolling a condom on.
“Yes,” she moans, the sound muffled around the bandana. She whimpers as I slot my cock at her entrance, pushing forward a bit.
“Try to be quiet,” I say. “I know you’re gonna want to beg and gasp for my cock, but you have to be quiet.”
I surge into her, and immediately have to bite back a moan of my own as her slick cunt wraps around me. I start to move slowly, relishing each pass of my cock through her. Her thighs are still pressed together and it makes the angle deliciously tight.
“I’m going to savor this,” I say. “I want you to know exactly who owns this cunt, and why.”
I reach around her body and rub her clit in gentle, slow circles, just like I’m fucking her. She feels slippery under my hand and she’s already dripping around my cock, as I keep my movements controlled and steady. She pants and whines around the gag, clearly wanting me to go faster and harder.
“Be patient,” I whisper against her face. “I know it’s difficult, when your cunt is so needy and you’re just a dirty fucking slut.”
She pushes back against me, clearly liking my filthy words, and I pick up the pace a bit as a reward. My cock jerks inside her, and I know that I won’t be able to keep this up forever. Still, I drill into her slow and steady, using my fingers to bring her higher and higher, closer and closer to that delicious edge.
But Candice is clearly pissed, because she rips the gag out with one hand and hisses, “Nathan, if I tell you that you’re a god among men and that your cock owns me, will you finally fuck me like you mean it?”
“Maybe,” I say, keeping up the same tantalizing pace. “I like making you pissed off, though.”
I rub her just a bit harder, and she tips her head back against me, all anger erased from her features. I work her a bit faster, until she’s tightening around my cock, her cunt gripping me as she starts to come.
“I love feeling you come on me,” I grunt, thrusting into her harder. “Your pussy is so fucking perfect.”
I grind my hips into her steadily, prolonging her orgasm, and relishing in the feel of her drenching me.
“Nathan,” she whines, still convulsing around me.
“I know honey, I know,” I say gently, thrusting into her with a grunt, but still keeping the pace steady. “I love fucking you like this. I love taking all the time in the world to make you squirm and shake on my cock. I love giving this cunt of yours exactly what it craves.”
I feel pleasure shoot up my spine, and I grind against her, filling her deeply and completely, and emptying myself with a final thrust. I pull out slowly and turn her around, leaning us both up against the wall while we pant in unison.
“Did we really just have sex in a stall?” Candice asks after a moment.
“Yes,” I say, placing a kiss on her cheek. “And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
We get ourselves cleaned up and dressed, and then we head back to where Ballantine and Maggie are tethered up.
“Sorry Mags,” Candice mutters, mounting up. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”
Ballantine gives me some serious side eye, like he knows exactly what we’ve been doing. I shrug and climb into the saddle. Candice and I ride out of the barn and into the fields around the rescue. The ground is patchy with snow, ice, and dry grass, and I’m glad my legs are wrapped in leather.
“Have you ever had a girlfriend?” Candice asks after a few moments.
The question startles me, mostly because of what we were just doing together in the barn. I’d assume thinking of me with another woman would be the last thing on her mind right now. But I guess she must be curious about my past.
“I don’t mean to pry,” she says, noting my silence. “I’m only asking because you always joke about how much women love you, and I just wondered if you ever got serious with anyone.”
“Why does it matter?” I know I sound defensive already, but I can’t help it. My inability to have a relationship is a soft spot for me and I don’t want Candice to judge me for it.
“Because now that I know you, you don’t seem like the type of guy who would be happy with a string of one-night stands.”
I wince, because that’s exactly what I’ve had over the last few years. Bar after bar, woman after woman.
“I did have one girlfriend,” I say after a moment. “Kerry. We weren’t together for very long though.”
“Why not?”
I think about the right thing to say as we ride out into the wilderness that surrounds the horse rescue.
“She cheated on me,” I finally say. “And she did it because she thought I was cheating on her, too. But I wasn’t.”
“Of course you weren’t. You wouldn’t do that.”
“Why are you so sure of that? You accused me once of thinking about women like pieces of ass.”
“I did,” she admits. “But I think I was wrong about that. And even if you—even if you are a player, that doesn’t mean you’re a cheater.”
“My father was, though,” I say softly. Something about being out in the open air, with the quiet landscape stretching around us for miles, makes it easier for me to open up to her.
“I was wondering what happened to him. I didn’t hear you or your siblings mention him a single time while we were at the ranch, so I figured he was out of the picture.”
“He left when I was eighteen,” I say. “Ma finally kicked him out after he was caught with a local woman. That was her line. She couldn’t stand for him sleeping around with someone she knew, so she made him leave. Cassandra was twenty so she decided to stay home and help Ma with running the ranch. In the summers, I started helping out, and I eventually dropped out of college to work there full time. And then I started competing to bring in more money.”
“I see,” Candice says. “That’s a lot of responsibility to take on at that age.”
“It is. But it’s no different than what you and Beau did after your grandparents passed.”
“Damn. It sounds like the two of us really deserve a vacation,” she jokes.
“Tell you what, Viper. You beat me in this race, and I’ll throw in an all-expense trip to wherever in the world you want to go.”
“It’s clichéd and stupid, but I’ve always wanted to go to Paris. It looks so beautiful in all of the photos and that’s where my dad took my mom when they got married. I want to go to all of the same places they went and take photos in the same spots.”
“That’s not stupid, Candice. That’s beautiful.”
I want to tell her that I’ll take her to Paris any damn day she wants, for a month if it will make her happy. But just because I realized I’m in love with Candice, doesn’t mean she feels the same for me. She’d never leave Star Mountain for that long, anyways, especially not to go on a vacation.
“Thanks. I’ll make it there one day,” she says. “And you’re not like your father, Nathan. Even if Kerry treated you like you are, you’re not. You are whoever you want to be.”
My breath hitches in my chest as her words hit me. If I’m whoever I want to be, then why did I spend so many years chasing the next high by hopping from bar to bar, and woman to woman? If I don’t even like being a player anymore, then why do it?
“Can you tell me who that person is when you meet him?” I say to Candice, swallowing down the emotions that are raging through me.
“Sure thing,” she says, smiling over her shoulder at me.
“So, where are we racing to?” I ask.
“How about to that line of trees over there?” She points out in the distance.
“Perfect.”
I line Bally up next to Maggie and give him a few pats for good luck.
“Ready,” Candice says.
“Set.”
“Go!”