32. Rose
ROSE
Idon’t know how long I have been standing in the room that will be transformed into his sitting room, but something about it just isn’t giving me the vibe I had planned for.
I know I don’t have any of the furniture or decor placed, but the general feeling is just off.
Maybe it’s my designer brain, but I can tell it’s not right. Is it the paint color?
I had considered putting wallpaper in here, but I wanted the walls more neutral so I could change the mood with decor and lighting, depending on how Dante wanted to use this room.
When we discussed this particular room, he wanted it to be a place for his vinyl collection and record player.
Someplace to relax after a long day with a cocktail in hand and a vinyl spinning in the background, releasing the melodic sounds of passion and longing.
My vision intended to create a speakeasy vibe with low lighting, dark finishes, and the juxtaposition of leather and velvet furniture that flowed seamlessly with the somber nature of the artwork I selected.
But now, standing here, I can tell the color just isn’t it.
Maybe I do put up wallpaper after all? Or could I make the walls look like velvet?
Okay, no, that probably wouldn’t be Dante’s vibe either and would take much longer than I think he’d like.
I’d better just get some new paint samples and see how several look in the room.
I will even bring in some of the primary light fixtures to ensure the color I select is just right.
After all, based on everything I’ve learned about Dante, I feel like this is the room he will end up spending the most time in.
After a quick trip to the hardware store, I’m back standing in the sitting room again, staring at the four new color samples I painted on the wall.
It’s quiet in the house. I think Dante ran out for some reason.
All I know is it’s almost eerie being in the house alone.
Unfortunately, the quiet allows my mind to drift, and it slips into memories of the past and having that same eerie feeling of being alone in the world.
Fifteen Years Ago
“I wish we could sit together. I hate that they make us graduate alphabetically.”
“It’s okay, Ro. We will meet up right after like we planned.
My mom wants to take pictures.” Luc rolls his eyes, but I know he secretly loves that his mom is so supportive.
I wish I had someone in the crowd today watching me graduate from high school, but I don’t even think my foster parents know I’m even graduating today.
“Fine, but only one picture, and then I want to go celebrate with you like you promised!” I don’t want to sound too pathetic, but all I have been able to think about is spending the entire weekend alone with Luc.
His mom thinks we are going to some graduation party with a bunch of kids from school, but we are actually leaving the city and going somewhere for the weekend.
Luc thinks I don’t know what he planned, and I am going to act surprised, but I couldn’t help but snoop on his phone after he told me he had a surprise for me after graduation.
I saw a confirmation email for train tickets, so I know it’s at least not in the city.
“Of course, Ro,” he says with a secretive smirk, which tells me he is thinking of the surprise he has planned. “I wouldn’t want to celebrate with anyone else. Let’s meet by the football stands after the ceremony, and we can leave right after pictures.”
“Are you going to tell me what the surprise is? Or at least give me a hint?” I’m practically begging at this point. I just want him to confirm what I already know. I saw the train tickets, but he almost caught me before I could look at the destination.
“Always so impatient.” There is that smirk again. But I can tell he is excited, and it’s taking everything in him not to crack and spill the surprise.
“Fine! I’ll meet you by the bleachers right after.
” I can’t contain my smile. I’ve never been so excited, and it has nothing to do with finishing school and everything to do with the boy who has stolen my heart.
I’m going to tell him tonight that I want to be more than friends.
I know Luc has had a crush on me forever, and I’ve kept him in the friend zone, but that was more to protect my heart than because I didn't want to be with him.
I just never thought I’d stay in the same foster home for as long as I did, and I didn’t want the pain of having to say goodbye to him if I had to move high schools.
But now that I’m eighteen years old and hours away from being officially free from school and the system, I am considered an adult and will be moving into my own apartment for the summer until my college classes start and I can move into the dorms.
“We’d better go get in line. It looks like they are getting ready to start the procession. How do I look?” Luc stands back, arms straight out, and does a little flip of the tassel hanging down from the graduation cap with his fingers.
Of course he looks great. He is probably the hottest guy I’ve ever met, and for some reason, he decided to be friends with me all these years. But I can’t tell him that, not yet.
“Hmm…” I tap my pointer finger on pursed lips, pretending to look him over, and contemplate my response. “That hat makes your head look big.”
I’m trying to keep my face serious and hold in my giggle, but I can’t help but smile and laugh when Luc lunges forward and squeezes my sides, knowing how ticklish I am there.
I squeal and try to wiggle away, but Luc holds me steady in his strong arms. I’m gasping for breath when Luc finally grants me mercy and stops tickling me, but his hands don’t leave my sides.
We are so close I’m sure he can feel my heart pounding in exhilaration, my breath coming in quick pants.
We are silent for a moment, just staring into each other's eyes. I can tell Luc wants to say something, but I don’t want to do this here, so instead, I raise my index finger and boop his nose to break the tension.
“You know you look great.” I roll my eyes in an attempt to hide my blush.
“You look great too.” With a smirk, he releases me, and I am already mourning the loss of his hands and arms around me.
“See you later, Lucy.” I smile as I use the nickname I know he hates.
“Bye, Rosey.” Luc winks, also using the nickname I pretend to hate but secretly love because he is the only person who calls me that, before turning and walking away to get in line with our other classmates.
I pause for a few seconds just watching him effortlessly exist before I turn and find my place in line. I have a sense that tonight will change the trajectory of my life, and I can’t wait to start on this new journey with Luc as more than a friend.
I jolt back in surprise when I feel a hand on my shoulder. Shit, I haven’t thought about that night in years. I quickly wipe the moisture under my eyes away. I didn’t even realize I was crying. I don’t even know how long I’ve been staring at this wall of paint swatches.
“Rose, is everything alright?”
It’s Luc. Of course it’s Luc. I don’t want him to know what I was thinking about, and I definitely don’t want him to know how reliving our last conversation still affects me to this day.
“Yes, everything is fine. Why do you ask?” I’m trying to keep my tone level, but it comes off a bit snarkier than I intend.
“I called your name several times. I was hoping to have your review and approval on the additional woodworking fixes you added yesterday so I can sign off on the list. I didn’t mean to startle you, but you weren’t responding.
I didn’t realize paint could be so captivating,” Luc adds with a smirk in an attempt to lighten the mood.
Clearly, I’m not okay, and I can tell he wants to comfort me but is trying to stick to the boundaries I have in place for us
“The right paint is supposed to be captivating.” I huff in mock annoyance at his joking comment.
“Yes, of course. I am riveted. Positively transfixed.” Okay, now I know he’s joking and trying to get me out of this weird mood I’m in. Maybe it’s okay to joke a little with him. I miss having him as my friend.
“Whatever, Lucy. Show me the updated wood finishes so I can get back to my paint contemplation.” I use his old nickname in a joking manner, but when he doesn’t immediately respond, I wonder if I’ve crossed some weird imaginary line between us.
After all, that was literally the last word I said to Luc before he disappeared from my life.
Turning to face him, I didn’t expect to see such a goofy grin on his face.
“What is wrong with your face? Maybe you have been huffing too many fumes from the wood stains.”
“Sorry,” he responds, but I can tell he isn’t sorry because the smile on his face only grows even though he tries to hide it with his large palm over his mouth. “I just haven’t been called ‘Lucy’ since high school. It’s just nostalgic and brought up some old memories.”
Is he thinking about the last time we saw each other too? Ugh, this is not what I want to discuss right now. I need to change the subject now.
“Forget I said it. I don’t know why I called you that.
Let’s just go look at the work you finished so you can head out for the day.
It’s getting late.” I know exactly why I called him that, but I’m not about to admit it to him.
And it actually is getting late if the color of the sky is any indication.
It’s turned dark gray like a storm is approaching as the sun sets.
“Sure, Rosey, whatever you say.” Luc’s eyes are glittering with myrrh.
He knows I like to pretend I hate that name, but I refuse to react and give him any more ammunition.
Instead of giving him a verbal response, I hold my head high and march from the room to review the work he needs my sign-off on.
Without looking back, I can tell he followed me by the tingle starting in my lower spine and moving its way up my back to the base of my neck, causing goose bumps to break out across my exposed skin.
I hate that my body still has that reaction to his presence when my mind is warring with his nearness.
Luckily, I have work to keep me focused until he leaves.