Chapter 4
Four
Callah
The dress was yellow. The color was soft and pale.
Thousands of delicate stitches adorned every seam, creating ornate shapes that turned into beautiful patterns.
Brown was the most common color, but green and blue stood out.
Around my neckline were pink accents, mixed with white.
I was pretty sure those were little hearts.
"It's beautiful," I told Deenah and Helah, the women who'd made it.
"We wanted to make sure you're the most beautiful bride today," Helah explained. "Callah, Tobias is going to be so smitten."
But Deenah moved closer, reaching out to catch my hand. "Do you know what to expect tonight?"
"Yes and no," I admitted.
Because the truth was, I did understand the mechanics of consummation. I simply didn't know if I'd have to worry about it. Tobias had promised this was a marriage of friendship. We were only playing at being husband and wife for the protection it offered.
I also knew men lied.
Gideon had been charming and romantic before he wed Meri.
Then he'd held her down. Worse, she couldn't even complain about it because that was a wife's place!
Her job was to provide for his needs. All his needs, from cleaning to childbearing.
This was the fate God had given us, and no matter how much I tried to convince myself Tobias wasn't like that, I couldn't actually be sure.
"Just close your eyes and pray," Deenah said. "He will finish the act quickly. You will likely bleed, but it will end fast. You can use that to put him off until the next day."
"Okay," I mumbled, feeling my face heating at discussing such things. "Thank you."
"You're going to be fine," Helah insisted. "Tomorrow, you will be a wife, not a girl. We've done our best to make sure there's always a woman in the facilities, just in case any of you newlyweds need help."
Then it was time for me to change. I put on my finest underthings. Over that went a twice-bleached chemise. But when I slipped the dress over it, the cut of it made me suck in a breath. The neckline was low enough to show the top of my chest. The edges of my collar bones stuck out too!
"Will the elders let me wear this?" I asked, spinning so the women could see. "It's gaping!"
"That's not gaping," Helah assured me. "It's elegant."
"And yes," Deenah promised, "it is allowed. We sewed right to the limits of the respectable boundaries, but we wanted to make sure everyone sees you get married."
To make sure they knew I wasn't like my roommates. The women didn't say that part, but I could feel it hanging in the air between us. Both of the girls I'd shared a room with had been banished from the compound. They were said to have been taken by the devil, but I knew better.
And my friends suspected. We'd never been able to truly talk about it, but I'd hinted enough they weren't under any delusions. Meri and Ayla were now free. They'd found a way out, and if I panicked, these women had said they'd both call for my banishment.
As much as I wanted that, I knew I couldn't. Someone had to help them - and all the other women down here - and I was the only person able to do it. Tobias could bring me messages from above. I knew most of the girls still in sermon. I was about to become a wife.
I was the only person in the entire compound who had a chance of stopping the atrocities down here. To do that, I had to get married first. I would give myself to a man I thought of as a friend. Unfortunately, for the Righteous, men and women were never friends.
The pair was busy buttoning the back of my gown when a hand pounded on the door. "Callah!" That was Ms. Lawton's voice. "It's time to go."
She didn't stay to wait for a response. A moment later, I heard her yelling at another girl, so I knew this was the summons for all of us.
"A ribbon for your hair," Helah said, twining my long pink-gold hair up into a proper bun.
"And a gift for your safety," Deenah whispered, sliding a long pin through the ribbon and into my hair. "That will keep it from falling apart, and might poke just hard enough to back your husband off."
"And make it into the wedding suite with me," I realized. "I only need one more thing."
Opening a drawer, I clasped the small pocket knife Tobias had given me as a gift. The blade on it was shorter than my pinky finger, but it would still pierce. He'd told me to use it if I needed to, but where could I put it?
Evidently, glancing down at my own body tipped Deenah off. "There's a small pocket here," she said, showing me. "I thought you might want to carry a Bible or something."
"This is a knife."
"Which is much better than a Bible," she said. "Now I know you'll be safe tonight."
The pair smiled knowingly, but it was time.
Helah opened the door. Deenah made a fuss of straightening my dress a bit more, and then the pair guided me into the hall.
Nine other girls were lining up at the end near the dining hall.
Ms. Lawton stood at the front, gesturing to the places we should take.
"Callah?" she said when I was close enough. "You will be at the back, left side."
"Yes, Ms. Lawton," I muttered, moving into place.
Deenah and Helah offered me one last smile, then headed up the hall. They'd be there, likely eating their evening meal, when I said my vows. Everyone would be. Today's group of weddings were the first of many, but the elders had made enough of this day that no one would dare miss it.
Then Ms. Lawton clapped her hands twice.
"Ladies! You will follow me to the entrance of the dining hall.
There, we will pause until your name is called.
When you are allowed to enter the dining hall, make your way straight to your intended.
You will stand on his right, facing him, and wait for the rest to get into place.
" She waited for us to all nod, showing we understood.
Then she continued, "When the vows are offered, you will repeat the words - or not.
Saying nothing will not prevent your marriage, though.
It might get you punished. Next, your intended will repeat his words.
When the vows are done, you will be pronounced married, and your new husband will kiss you. "
"I'm not ready..." the girl beside me whimpered.
I reached over for her hand. "We'll be okay. If not, we'll go to the women's facilities tomorrow to seek help."
"We will?" Ms. Lawton asked, hearing me.
Standing a little taller, I lifted my voice. "The wives who helped me dress said someone will be in there all day. They're doing their best to make sure anyone who needs help - for any reason - will have it."
"Thank you, Callah," Ms. Lawton said. "Now, I need all of you to take a very deep breath.
" She did the same, showing us how it was done.
"And now push it out. Let your fear go with it.
We are women. We are strong enough to handle this.
We are faithful and obedient, but also resilient.
Today is merely our first chance to prove it. "
"Amen," a girl whispered, making the rest of us repeat the word hopefully.
"Now, follow me," Ms. Lawton ordered.
She turned, marching forward with her spine straight and her chin up.
I did my best to mimic her pose, and I wasn't the only one.
The sound of our dresses rustling was loud.
Never before had any of us been allowed in clothes this lavish.
The excess material would be passed to the next girl who needed it, but for today, we looked like angels.
Then, one by one, our names were called and we each headed into the dining hall to join our intended. From our place by the door, I could see the men arranged in a loose block. There, on the far left, Tobias stood a head taller than the rest, but his dark and crisp clothing was a new thing.
It fit him well, which I hadn't expected. It also made him look even bigger than normal. His broad chest was made visible by the white shirt and the charcoal coat he wore over it. His pants matched the coat, setting him apart from the other suitors in the group.
"And now you, Callah," Ms. Lawton said, leaving me for last. "Be safe, child."
"Ms. Lawton..." I paused before her. "Thank you. For everything."
"Oh, you're not getting rid of me so easily," she promised. "Now go, before the whispers start. And let them all see you, Mrs. Warren."
The sound of my new name made me rock in place. In minutes, I would give up the name Atwood and take his. I would soon be Callah Warren, and yet, I liked it. The sound of it worked, and Tobias wouldn't treat me as his possession, would he?
Not that I could do anything about it if he tried.
So I stepped forward, keeping my head high. A few of those pink flowers were clutched in my hand, the last of the bouquet my intended had brought back last week. I held them before me, allowing everyone to see how spoiled I already was.
But when a man moved toward him, my feet faltered.
For a moment, he spoke to Tobias, but that wasn't what caused my hesitation.
It was the length of wood he passed to my intended.
The thing had to be at least three feet long, and it was thick.
Yes, Tobias's fingers fit all the way around it, but would mine?
A rod. I knew what it was, and I'd seen plenty, but none made my stomach twist the way this one did.
If I made a mistake, that was meant to punish me.
It would leave bruises and could break bones.
For a man, it was a sign he was now a full member of Righteous society.
For me, it was a threat, but I couldn't show my fear.
I refused! So without slowing, I moved to Tobias's right.
"Callah..." he said, tucking the long rod into his belt with a strange twist to his lips. "You look lovely in yellow."
"And you are handsome in your suit." My eyes shifted to the weapon he was now wearing.
He quickly glanced away. Oddly, that helped.
I couldn't be sure if it was my concern or my compliment, but the hint of shyness was enough to remind me that while this man was large and strong, he was also gentle.
He didn't want to be a killer. He had no interest in harming me.
I simply had to keep him happy, and I might even be safe with him.
But behind him, a girl was whispering to her own intended. I thought it sounded like the same one who'd been beside me in line. Her voice was creeping higher, not in volume but rather pitch, as if she was starting to panic.
My own heart was starting to race. I was sure my palms were clammy, but the flowers helped with that. Thankfully, Mr. Cassidy stepped forward then, wrapping the cloth around his neck to show he was acting as the minister for this.
"Today," he called out, "we celebrate the song of the seven trumpets with this offering to God. Ten young couples are joining together in holy matrimony. Ten new families will begin today, just as our own community was called together so long ago by those trumpets."
I knew this story, as did every other person who'd heard Mr. Cassidy's sermons in school.
The seven trumpets had been the sign for us to retreat into the compound, escaping the fall of the world above.
Every year, we offered our thanks to God for protecting us.
To wed on this day was a sign of change and hope.
I bowed my head and let my eyes close, thinking my own prayer while Mr. Cassidy droned on.
I will be okay. I will survive marriage, use this time with my friend to plan our escape, and together we will defeat the evils of this place.
If God is real, He should help me. If God is good, He should guide me, because if He doesn't, then God must be none of those things, and destroying this will be the righteous thing to do anyway.
"And now, please take each other's hands," Mr. Cassidy told us. "Women, repeat after me. I swear to give my service, my children, and even my life to my husband so that together, our lines will last until the final days, when the Earth is once more ours."
I lifted my eyes, meeting Tobias's strange hazel ones, but the words I offered him? They were not the same. I simply spoke them softly enough I hoped no one else would hear.
"I swear to give my friendship, my intelligence, and my resilience to my husband so that together, we may accomplish more."
Around us, the other women all mumbled their lines - or so I thought. The voices were soft, jumbled, and trembling. They didn't speak at the same time, making it into little more than a hum of mixed-up words.
And then the girl behind Tobias screamed, jerking away. "I will not do it!" she yelled.
Her intended didn't hesitate. He swung, using the back of his hand to reprimand the girl across the side of his face. She staggered, bending halfway over and a bit sideways before clutching at her cheek.
"Stand up, Puah," the man snapped. "Now say it."
The girl pulled herself up, but her face was pointed at her toes. With everyone in the dining hall watching, and no one daring to speak, she repeated the line.
Mr. Cassidy nodded, then moved to the men's verse. But when Tobias spoke the words, he changed them as much as I had.
"I swear," he told me, "to protect my friend and companion, and to treat her as my equal in all things."
My eyes jumped up and my heart stalled out. I heard Mr. Cassidy moving to the next part, but that? He'd called me an equal. He'd said it here, where someone else could've heard!
So when it came time to agree, I did it with a smile on my face. "I do," I breathed.
And Tobias shifted a little closer, waiting for his turn. "I do," he agreed.
Then Mr. Cassidy said the words I'd spent my life dreading. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. Gentlemen, you may kiss your bride."
Slowly, Tobias reached up to cup the side of my face. We were at the front. Everyone could see us, but when he leaned in, my eyes closed on their own and I waited. One breath. Two. Finally, his lips brushed against mine, the contact softer than even the fabric of my dress.
And I didn't pull away. I didn't want to. I stayed, feeling the warmth of his mouth against mine until he finally leaned back.
"Would you join me for dinner, Mrs. Warren?" he asked.
The strangest thing was the smile on my lips. "I would be honored, Mr. Warren."
Which meant it was real. I was married - and still smiling.