Chapter 42
Forty-Two
Kanik
The camp meeting went on far too long. Rymar did a good job of managing it, but Reapers were not Dragons.
They didn't know the same pain we'd been suffering through for decades now.
To them, this was new. It was painful and immediate.
For us, this was typical, and that changed our reactions more than I'd realized.
I hadn't expected to become used to death. I'd never thought I would grow numb to the horrors the Moles inflicted on us so very often. And yet, while the Reapers had worked out what to do next, I'd found myself thinking they were naive, and they'd get used to it.
They shouldn't.
By the time the sun set, everyone was exhausted. In truth, my abs were aching again, but I didn't want to complain about it. Instead, I headed back to our cabin and began building a comfortable little fire in the ring out front. Yes, we had a fireplace inside, but I didn't trust it.
The Reaper lifestyle was more primitive than ours.
They didn't have heating lines that ran through the house from a single external fire.
They certainly didn't use subterranean cool air to keep their homes from overheating in the summer.
Instead, they relied on a good breeze, an open flame, or a better camp for the season.
Rymar returned first, carrying a tray of food. It was too much for himself, so I had a feeling he'd picked up some for Ayla as well. But when he set it down beside me and gestured for me to take my fill, I realized I hadn't given him enough credit.
"Thanks," I said, grabbing some bread to start with. "Where's Ayla and Zasen?"
"Ayla is with Lansin," he said. "That man offered to feed Holly, and she wanted to pet the puppies again. Zasen's talking to Eriska to get a list of their good hunters. More than just the angry ones."
"No, makes sense," I said, then saw movement.
My lips curled into a smile, because I'd recognize that brindle coat anywhere. Holly was sleek and fit, but compared to the dogs here, she also looked a little out of shape. Still, where she went, I knew Ayla wouldn't be far behind.
Sure enough, my partner appeared only a moment later. There was a dreamy smile on her lips I'd never seen before, and one that looked so good on her.
"Do not ruin that smile," I warned Rymar.
He turned to see what I was talking about, then grinned when he saw it too. "Not happening," he promised.
The moment Ayla was close enough, she let us both know what had her looking like that. "Lansin has puppies!"
"Oh no," I teased. "How many do you want?"
She shrugged. "I love Holly. That's enough, right?"
"Shit," Rymar muttered, grabbing her shoulders and turning her so she'd see the plate of food. "That's for all of us. Eat something? I know you took care of Holly, so this is us taking care of you."
"Him," I corrected. "Ry's trying to give away the credit for his hard work again."
So she lowered herself down to sit beside me. Tapping her arm, I moved her closer, so she was between my knees and could lean back. Surprisingly, she did without hesitation - and I liked that. Then, she grabbed a piece of meat and popped it into her mouth.
"He wants me to show all the dogs how to disarm," she said, looking up and back so she could see me. "I need someone to carry the gun."
"Not me this time," I told her. "Ayla, I'm moving a little slow today."
"Oh." She turned quickly. "Did the scar split? Do you need a wrap?"
"I'm fine," I said. "I'm also making sure I stay that way, so you should make Rymar help you."
And she looked up at him. "Will you?"
Right before my eyes, that man melted. A silly smile took over his face and he was nodding before her words even sank in. Damn, I knew I had it bad, and I'd had a suspicion Zasen had turned stupid over Ayla, but Rymar? All this time, he'd clearly been hiding it much better than I could've guessed.
"Means Holly's going to hit you," I warned him. "And yes, that dog hits hard."
"I can take it," Rymar promised.
"I can use Xav too," she said. "That way, when she knocks the wind from you, he can have his turn." And she patted her leg, calling her dog over.
Fuck, but I loved how easily she included her dog in her life. I couldn't get enough of how she smiled down at Holly like this. Some days, it felt like that animal had cracked her shell and was the only reason we got to see how amazing this woman really was.
"Hey," I said, leaning closer. "Pass me some of that cheese?"
She grabbed a chunk and leaned back, offering it up to me. "Who lit the fire?"
"Kanik," Rymar said.
And from the darkness, Zasen's voice asked, "Who got the food?"
"Rymar," Ayla answered.
Zasen murmured, stole a handful of the bread, meat, and cheese, then dropped onto his ass beside me, next to the fire. First, he shoved a bite into his mouth, then he murmured again and leaned back, reclining the best he could out here.
"So, how much meat do we need, Ayla?" he asked.
"Lots," she said. "If we get enough to feed them for a holiday, they'll just come back. They'll say it's a gift from God or something. What we need is a lot of meat. Like ten deer? More?"
"More," I suggested. "If there's elk in the area, that'll make it easy, but I'd say two to three times as much as we think."
"It'll take some time," Zasen pointed out. "I'm worried they'll come back while we're still hunting."
"So we don't take all the dogs," Rymar pointed out.
Which made Ayla suck in a breath. "Oh!" And she shoved a hand into her pocket. "I got whistles for all of us. I was going to train Holly in a few new commands too. Disarm being one, and something for us."
"For us?" I asked.
She shifted a bit, curling up against my inner thigh so she was facing Rymar and Zasen more than the fire. "Well, if someone is left behind in the woods, he could blow the whistle in a pattern and Holly would know she shouldn't let me leave."
"I like that," Rymar said. "Teach her that, Ayla. Please?"
"I just have to see all the other whistle patterns first," she explained. "I don't want to use something else and undo her training."
"No, makes sense," Zasen agreed. "Do you have a list?"
Once more, she dug in her pocket, but this time she pulled out a piece of paper from the other side.
"This is what Lansin gave me." And then she smiled.
"And he has so many puppies! I didn't know dogs came in all those colors.
I mean, Shadow's black, and Holly's brindle, but he has a red and white one, and she has big spots.
Like someone dipped her in color, you know?
And there are silver-grey ones." She caught her lower lip, struggling not to smile. "And blue merle."
"He's got a merle?" I asked.
She nodded. "His name is Storm. Lansin let me name him, but he's only four days old. And one of his litters is all red or black. Solid colors, like Shadow. They're eight weeks old, he said, and they're so cute!"
"I missed puppy time?" I gasped, pretending to be horrified.
She just leaned in, resting her shoulder against my chest. "I can take you tomorrow, but only if you're feeling okay. Promise?"
"I promise to rest up and heal as well as I can," I swore. "I just want to see all the colors. I don't actually know my favorite, and at this rate, I might have to get a dog too."
"You should get Storm!" she said. "He likes to cuddle like Holly, and he's so pretty, Kanik. And soft! Oh, and he smells funny, but I think I like it."
"And she's just learned about puppy breath," Zasen teased.
Ayla huffed, reached back, then tossed a piece of cheese at Zasen's head. "You knew about it?"
"Everyone knows about puppy breath," I told her. "They smell sort of musky, almost like a skunk to protect themselves, but most of us like it."
"Nope," Rymar said. "Not a fan. I mean, I'll tolerate it for puppy kisses, but I prefer how they smell when they grow up, like Holly."
"Holly doesn't smell," Ayla insisted.
"She does," I told her. "More to us than you, I bet, but she smells like a dog. It's nice, though. Well, when she's not gross and muddy."
"I wish I could smell it," she said with a little pout.
I caught Zasen flick his eyes over to her before shoving a hand across his mouth. Yeah, he was trying not to laugh, but it made me realize I was right. The three of us were definitely stupid over this woman. I liked it, though.
I hadn't expected to end up in a family with them. I didn't mind at all, but I'd always assumed someone would pick them and not me. Lessa, for example. She'd made it clear she had no interest in some boring brown guy like me. She also wasn't the only one.
But Ayla liked my brown. She was adamant that my purple counted as a bright color, since Zasen's blue did. I wasn't sure I agreed, but the way she was curled up against me was nice enough to convince me she believed it.
Gently, making sure I didn't startle her, I shifted to wrap my arms around her shoulders. "Hey?" I asked softly. "What do you think the chances are I can borrow half that bed of yours tonight?"
"Let him," Rymar said. "Climbing up to the loft is probably more than he should be doing."
"I'll take the loft," Zasen offered. "Rymar can sleep up there with me."
"I was going to let Rymar have the other bed," I said. "Well, if Holly won't mind me cuddling with her."
"Holly can have the other bed," Ayla said, glancing at me then away. "She likes to stretch out, and I bet you don't kick."
"I don't kick," I assured her.
But I could see Rymar nodding in approval. Okay, I liked this. Not only that my friends - no, partners now - were cheering me on subtly, but the way Ayla had just made that decision? It was the biggest sign of trust she'd given so far.
I knew she liked us. I just wasn't sure what sort of like that was.
She probably didn't know either, so I wasn't pushing it, but ever since she'd fallen asleep beside Zasen back at the house, it was like a switch had been flipped for her.
She'd decided this was safe. It was okay.
She was allowed to not only be touched, but also to like being touched.
And she did.
There was just one more thing I had to be sure of. "So, if I end up wrapping my arms around you, am I going to get in trouble?" I asked.
She looked up at me. "Like this?"
"Yeah, like this," I agreed, because my arms were around her shoulders.
Ayla murmured, then surprised me again. Without pulling away, she shifted a little more, tucking herself right up against my chest like she was using me as a backrest. Then she reached down for my tail and yanked it across her legs.
"Dragons really are made for touching. I didn't realize you used your tails for it, but I like that part too," she said.
So I wrapped my tail around her calf and hugged her softly. That put my mouth right beside her ear. "And what happens if I kiss your neck?"
Ayla actually leaned even closer. "I like that too." And she glanced back. "You're soft, Kanik."
"Like satin?" Zasen asked, proving he was listening in.
But Ayla shook her head. "No, you're like satin. Rymar's like cloth that's been worn enough to no longer be stiff."
"Comfortable," Rymar offered.
Ayla nodded. "Kanik's different."
"Like rabbit fur?" I guessed, not sure how she'd get that, but it was the only other soft thing I could think of.
"No..." She made a face, thinking about it. "You're soft like a dream. Like that moment just before you wake up when nothing bad has happened yet."
And Zasen pushed to his feet. "She means like safety, Kanik. You're soft like protection, a warm blanket, and a friend."
"I think that's the best kind of soft," I told her before leaning in to kiss the side of her neck. "Ayla, you're soft like my own puppy."
She tilted her head, giving me better access to her neck. "But you don't have your own puppy."
"Nope," I agreed.
Rymar just chuckled. "He means like a daydream, Ayla. Like the idea of growing old or farming plants."
"Yeah," she breathed. "I like that kind of soft too. The kind you think is impossible, but is actually real and waiting for you."