Chapter 72
Seventy-Two
Ayla
Rymar was back, and he'd brought tents with him.
I'd never seen anything like them before, but every campsite got two, with the promise of more if we needed them.
I wasn't sure we would, though. Our camp was only the four of us, plus Lansin, Xav, and a reaper woman named Chlo, who was responsible for the horse and cart for our camp.
She didn't own a dog, but the rest of us did.
Even better, our campsite was the closest to Lorsa.
Supposedly, that made sense to everyone else.
With both Zasen and Rymar here, there might be a need for them to head back at times.
The shorter distance would make that easier.
Apparently, Eriska was in the campsite closest to the Reaper's summer home.
For me, the difference between these camps, the normal camps the Reapers lived in, and the sorts where we'd stopped when traveling got very confusing.
They all had the same name, and everyone else seemed to understand the difference.
I didn't! Some required us to sleep on the ground, others had structures that could be used, and these had buildings made of fabric.
But after putting everything up and digging out a place for a fire, I was too tired to care. My arms ached in a way I hadn't expected. So did my back from all the bending over. I'd gotten used to drawing a bow or running through the forest, but digging and lifting so much was still hard on me.
"So," Zasen said as he lit the fire between the pair of tents, "we have three shifts. Since Rymar got plenty of sleep yesterday, he and I can take this one. Lansin, you take the dawn shift, if you're good with that?"
"Who's with him?" Xav asked.
Lansin looked over at the other Reaper. "Chlo, you good with an early morning?"
"I'm a farmer, so yes," she assured him.
"Then Ayla and Kanik get midday," Lansin suggested. "Xav can stay up tonight."
"No, we're good," Rymar insisted.
But I could already see the problem. "Neither of you have a dog. I can let you use Holly, but I'm not sure Pepper will listen."
"Demon will," Xav said, referring to his dog. "I mean, if you two would rather be alone..." And he grinned at Rymar.
"Fuck off," Rymar grumbled. "Okay, Xav, you just earned yourself a long night. Everyone else? Go to bed!"
"Did you want Holly to stay out here?" I asked as I stood - because lying down sounded amazing.
"No," Zasen assured me. "Just leave the bottom of the door open. If she needs to come out, she will, but Demon needs to pull his share too."
"And the rest of us are just here for decoration," Xav joked.
"Very nice decoration," I pointed out even as I slapped my hip, encouraging the girls to follow.
But Zasen and Rymar shared a glance. Both had smiles. I wasn't sure what I'd done, but they liked it, and I liked that. Even Kanik, who was holding the cloth door open to the tent, was smiling at me like I'd just done something good, but I waited until I was inside before asking.
"What?" I begged. Then, "Girls, lie down."
Holly and Pepper found an open space at the side, and while Holly curled up quietly, Pepper groaned as if she was being put out. It made Kanik chuckle as he secured the fabric door so the wind couldn't blow it open.
"So, we don't have actual beds yet," he said, gesturing to the mat of blankets on the ground, "but the wool padding will keep it from getting cold."
"It's better than the forest floor," I pointed out, easing myself down and then working off my boots. "You're sleeping here too?"
"Unless you mind."
Which made me feel flustered for some reason. Likely, that was because Kanik was now standing over me. His freckled tail swayed slowly behind him, proving he was having a few thoughts, but I couldn't figure out which ones.
"I was hoping you would," I admitted.
"Well, get comfortable," he told me, pointedly turning his back to remove his excess clothing.
I stripped off my leather attire and swapped out for a soft shirt with long sleeves and a longer hem. It was almost a dress, but not quite. Rymar had brought it back with him, saying it would make sleeping easier.
Once changed, I pulled the blankets over myself then turned to find Kanik staring at the wall. "I'm good," I said, assuming he was waiting for me to be covered.
The very tip of his tail twitched, and then he turned, joining me in the bed as if I'd been right. But when he scooted closer and thrust out his arm, I didn't wait for him to ask. I simply slid up against his chest. It was a position I was starting to enjoy with these men.
"It's going to keep getting colder," he explained softly. "The tents don't keep the heat in very well, but we're working on a way to fix that."
"Do you think we'll be out here long?" I asked.
He shrugged, then reached up to guide the baby hairs away from my face. "I don't know. Ayla, we've never been this close to actually stopping the Moles before. With the Reapers helping us? I don't know, it actually feels possible."
"And then what?" I asked.
"I don't know," he breathed. "Then we get to go home and be happy? Settle into nice, boring lives? At least, that's what I've been hoping for."
"And me?" I pressed.
"What do you mean?"
"Will I have to become a good wife? Well, partner? And what does that even look like if we're not - "
"No," he insisted, cutting me off. "Ayla, this is you.
This is not necessity or temporary. We didn't want you to wear that hunk of gold around your neck to remind you that you only get so much freedom.
We did it because we like this version of you, just like you are now.
When all this is over, if you want kids or not, then we'll talk about it.
If you want puppies, we'll talk about it.
If you decide to learn new things, or settle down with something you've always enjoyed, we can talk about that too.
What is never going to happen is us expecting you to become like your sister, okay? "
And I buried my head in his chest. "What if I never want to have babies?"
"I'm..." He chuckled. "Ayla, I'm actually hoping for that. Rymar and I would be happy as uncles to Saveah's kids, spoiling them rotten and then sending them home. Zasen? I don't know. He doesn't talk about it as much, but he has Cerlik to spoil now too."
"You don't want kids?" I asked.
"I'm not a fan of babies," he admitted. "Oh, I'm sure my own would be different. And by mine, I mean a child from this partnership." His hand paused on both my jaw and neck, holding my face to his. "What I'm saying, Ayla, is that I want you, as you are, with absolutely no conditions."
I only knew one way to respond to that. Leaning in, I pressed my mouth to his. It was what I'd wanted to do anyway, and why I'd even brought the subject up. I wanted to kiss him, and touch him. I enjoyed being close to him, but I felt like there had to be some kind of catch.
My life here was too good.
Kanik's mouth gave to mine, and he murmured deep in his throat.
The arm I was lying on curled, pulling my chest up against his.
His other hand slid into my now loose hair, grabbing a fistful of it at the back of my head - but I wasn't afraid.
I liked how that felt, as if I'd just given him power over me.
But at the same time, the way he moved, the sounds he made, and the desperation of his kisses made me feel like I had just as much over him.
Our mouths moved. Our tongues touched, swirled, and teased each other. I could feel the heat of his body through the soft fabric I was wearing, but it wasn't enough. Now that I knew what came next, I wanted more. I wanted that rush of passion. I needed to feel this man even closer.
I just wanted him.
So I pulled, trying to make that happen. Surprisingly, Kanik obeyed. Without breaking our kiss, he shifted, rolling me onto my back and leaning over me. The hand in my hair moved to hold him up, above me, and his mouth began to slide lower.
"Kanik?" I begged.
He kissed the base of my throat and paused. "Mm?"
"I..." They still hadn't told me how to ask, but I was going to try anyway. "Zasen did a thing. He kissed me, and it was good, and - "
"I can do that too," he said, his voice turning deeper and sultry in a way I hadn't expected.
It made my pulse drop lower and my breasts felt different. Tender almost. Definitely neglected, but that wasn't quite what I'd been hoping for.
"I thought maybe, since I can just be me, that it might be okay if we... you know?"
"If we what?" he asked.
My face was quickly heating up, and my answer came out as the softest, most embarrassed whisper. "Sex."
His arm straightened, lifting him away from me. "With me?"
I nodded. "Is that wrong?"
"No, not at all," he promised, dropping back down beside me. "But Ayla, you don't have to. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, but I liked the other thing, and I trust you. I... I mean, everyone says it doesn't hurt that bad."
"It shouldn't hurt at all," he insisted, then grunted. "No, I'm not going to refuse you, Ayla. I'm not an idiot. I also will not hurt you, so if you want this, you get to make it happen, okay?"
"How?" I asked.
"First," he said, letting his eyes slide down my body, "you're going to have to be completely naked. Then, well, I'll show you. But the moment you want to stop, we stop."
I leaned into him again. "I don't want to stop, Kanik." And I kissed him to prove it.
This time, he pulled me closer, being a little less gentle, but I liked it.
His kisses were a little harder, maybe even more wild.
My mouth, my neck, my jaw, and everything in between.
His hands started on either side of my head, but made their way lower, and lower still, until he found the bottom of my shirt.