Chapter 12 #2
“I don’t think you realize how much attention this could get. I mean, maybe they won’t focus on us. Maybe the story will be about my uncle and Hunter, and we’ll barely be mentioned. He just asked you so many questions, and I’m afraid they are going to make it a big deal.”
“We’re fine. You worry too much.” He took a bite of his sandwich and groaned as he leaned back on the seat.
“What if your family hears about it? What if the press comes to Rosewood River?”
“We already have the Taylor Tea,” he chuckled.
“Shit. I dragged you into this,” I said, rubbing my hands over my face. This was going to be a big deal. I knew it in my gut.
“Lulu, relax. People thinking that I’m dating you is not a bad thing. I’m single right now. My boss thinks I’m in a relationship. It’s fine.”
I studied him for a few seconds.
Man, this guy was too good-looking for his own good.
“Rafe.”
“Lulu,” he said, his voice all tease.
“If Beckett hears about this, he’s going to lose his shit and make this a big deal. He loves a good show. The press will play into that. You’re going to be dragged into my shit, and I feel bad about it.”
“So, flash me your tits, and we’ll call it even.” He smiled, and damn if a rush of butterflies didn’t flutter in my stomach.
“This isn’t a joke. Maybe we can keep it under the radar. Charlotte is on a mission to make this about her father and Hunter. Hopefully, she gets her way this time.”
He reached for my bag of gummy bears and set it down before handing me some bread and cheese. “Eat something solid. You can’t live on gummy bears alone.”
His words startled me, and I didn’t even know why.
He was right, but no one had ever really commented on the amount of gummies I ate as an actual meal replacement.
I ate a bite of my sandwich and then reached for the fruit. “You’re much nicer than I thought you were when I first met you.”
“Really? Would that be when you karate-chopped me in the neck? This is such a surprise. I thought that meant you liked me,” he said, making no attempt to hide his sarcasm.
I chuckled. He was funny and easy and smart and handsome.
“So, why aren’t you in a relationship? I mean, you’re unfairly good-looking by most women’s standards. You’re funny and charming—even Ray Coffee was captivated, and he hates everyone.”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I’ve dated plenty. I just haven’t really found anyone that I wanted to get serious with since college. And even then, I was one foot out the door the minute she mentioned moving in together after we graduated.”
“Commitment-phobe?” I asked, taking another bite.
“I don’t think so. I’ve never been unfaithful.
I’m a straight shooter when I date a woman.
” He shrugged as he took a sip of the sparkling water right from the bottle before passing it to me.
“My dad told me that when he and my mom were dating, she was about to leave to study abroad, and a sick feeling came over him. He said in that moment, he just fucking knew that she was the one, you know? And I guess I’m waiting for that. ”
“So, did she study abroad?” I asked.
“Yep. But they admitted their feelings or something like that, and they talked daily that semester and have been together ever since.” He handed me a strawberry, before popping one into his mouth, as well. “How about you? The rock star tainted all men for you?”
“I just realized at some point that my life was revolving around a very selfish man. I wasn’t giving my business the attention it deserved at that time because I was being pulled in every direction.
I have goals that I want to achieve, and I don’t want to be resentful for giving them up because my partner doesn’t support me, you know?
So, I’m committed to My Silver Lining and growing my company.
I date, or I did before I made up this whole relationship, but at this time in my life, I prefer to keep it casual. ”
He nodded. “I get that. You mentioned that you hadn’t been with a man for a while, is that because of your ex?”
“Beckett has a ton of addiction issues, so we didn’t even have sex the last six months that we were together.
And before that, it wasn’t great. It hadn’t been great for a long time.
But we had this history because we dated all through college, and I think I felt this need to save him in a way, if that makes sense. ”
“Explain,” he said, handing me back my bag of gummy bears as if he was pleased with the amount I’d eaten.
“When he started touring with the band and his fame grew, so did his problems. That was when I started trying to save him. He’d guilt me about not being there because I was building my company, so I’d neglect the things that were important to me to help him.
And then the sex was awful because he was always wasted.
He was sloppy, and I didn’t enjoy it. But I didn’t want to rock the boat when we only had a weekend together every couple of weeks.
And weeks turned into months. And then one day, I woke up, and I was done.
I just wanted out of it, and I didn’t care how uncomfortable he’d make me.
But it hasn’t been easy, and I do feel bad because my family has been embarrassed by it. ”
“Stop apologizing for something that you have no control over. You can’t control people from your past or your present.
You dated a guy who was obviously a good guy in the beginning, and then he got famous, and he changed.
It’s not your job to fix him. The only one I feel bad for is you.
You’re the one who got the short end of the stick.
And he’s a fucking moron for letting you go. ”
I sucked in a breath. I was so used to being judged for dating Beckett and being dragged into the media. But Rafe was right.
I didn’t owe anyone an apology.
Well, aside from myself.