22. Dove
Dove
“Mr Rose?”
The alphas all stop moving and turn to look at me. It’s just for a few seconds, but it’s enough that I shrink back, until Pix puts his arm over my shoulder and laughs. The house is creepy in an old kind of way. I don’t like it, but I do like that everyone is here.
“Mr Rose, are you going to respond, or does a cat have your tongue?” Pix purrs.
“Why would a cat have his tongue?” I ask Pix quietly.
It’s confusing.
“Why does the sun rise in the east?” Pix giggles.
“Because it’s morning…duh?” I glance at him sideways, unsettled by his strange comments. “Did you hurt your head, too? Kestrel hurt her head once, and she was saying weird things for a long time.”
Sage stands up and walks out of the room without saying anything. I look at the door where he disappeared, feeling my stomach flutter.
“How did she hurt herself?” Pix asks as he hands me a sandwich.
“Father hit her.”
Rolly and King stand up and walk out of the room.
Blaze, Pix, and Roseland stay and don’t look upset by them stomping off at all, so I forget about it.
“Hey, Dove. How are you doing today? You look much happier,” Roseland ruffles my hair and passes me a piece of toast with jam.
I smile up at Mr Rose, then look back at the sandwich and toast, trying to decide what to eat. “Hi! I am. I came to say hello.”
“Well, I’m very pleased to see you, Dove. Are you going to come to the market and explore with us today?”
The toast was halfway to my mouth, but now I completely forget about it.
I stare up at him, my eyes getting larger and larger. Outside? With people? In a market? Shopping?
“Can I?” I almost whisper. I really, really want to.
“Of course, you can.”
I hesitate, but Rose crouches in front of me and takes my hands. I stare down at this massive alpha who has always been the only person I can trust.
“I promise, we will keep you safe.”
“I’m not allowed to go outside,” I whisper.
“You are today. Check with Kestrel.”
The approval of the alters come through loud and strong. Still, I hesitate. This ugly house doesn’t feel good, but it’s still inside. I won’t get into trouble if I am inside.
“Father says we can’t go outside unless we are working,” I say in a small, stiff voice.
Pix’s hand tightens on my shoulder briefly, then he lets go. “Father is a bad man. He is absolutely wrong to lock you up. Don’t you know that Dove means freedom?”
My eyes widen. “It does?”
“Yes, it really does. You were born to be a free bird. So, let’s stretch those wings and go and find shiny things for the omegas to nest in and maybe con King into buying us ice cream.”
Ice cream? All my doubts fade away.
“Okay! Yes! Let’s go.”
Mr Rose stands up and pulls me with him towards the front door.
“Let’s go to the market,” he says loudly. “Eat your toast, Dove.”
I obediently bite into it. The other alphas converge on us, and I suddenly find myself in a circle of them, but instead of being scared, I feel safe. They are all familiar, and I like them a lot.
“Are you buying ice cream?” I ask King.
He glances at Pix and then smiles and nods. “I am.”
“I can have chocolate?” I whisper.
“You can have any flavour you want.”
I squeal and bounce into him, hugging his side. He puts an arm over me, and we walk like that down the street to where there are lots of people.
Except, the closer we get, the more I think we shouldn’t be here. My fear spikes, but Rolly winks at me and starts whispering, and I forget I’m afraid because he’s so silly.
“That beta has clearly got bedbugs at home. Big ones that suck his blood. Look how pale he is. Vampire bugs!”
I giggle. “There’s no such thing, silly.”
“And that omega, she clearly keeps all her purses in her dress. Saves them all, in case the raccoons try to steal them.”
I giggle harder.
He turns and gasps dramatically.
“What?” I crane my head around, pulling away from King so I can see what he’s looking at.
There’s a beta wearing a ball gown, and she’s got wings and a crown and long, long red hair.
“It’s a lost fairy princess. Look at her, oh, how sad. She must be exiled from her court, but she’s putting spells of strength into people. We have to get you one.”
“What?” I squeak.
“You absolutely need a spell from the princess.”
I let him tug me along, my eyes getting wider and wider. She really is very beautiful.
We stand in line and finally get to the princess. She’s got a table with paints and gemstones in front of her. There are paper butterflies in gold and the brightest blue. I reach out and touch one, but then I see a little white bird, and I reach for it instead.
“What can I paint for you?” She has a pretty voice, lilting and soft.
“She needs a spell for…” he looks at me.
“Love,” I say, reading the word on the scroll under the white bird.
“She needs a spell of love, to attract her soulmates to her and keep them there,” Rolly says with a dramatic sigh and leans in. “Let’s hope they are all unbearably handsome.”
I giggle.
The woman with the glittering skin gives him a strange look but smiles at me and gestures for me to come closer.
“A mask,” Rolly murmurs, “for protection.”
The woman looks at him sharply but buries it and smiles at me. I forget everything but looking at the glitter and beautiful shiny things all over her dress and face. The dove is still clenched in my hands.
“When I’m older, do you think I will be able to glitter, too?” I ask in a small voice.
“You already glitter, but how about you let us show you how you glitter on the inside?” Rolly whispers.
“Really?”
“Really, really.”
I close my eyes, trying to sit really still while she paints the spell on my face. It’s cold, and it feels strange, but Rolly keeps oohing and ahhing, and I really want to see it!
“All right, we’re all done.”
I open my eyes, and she spins and gestures to a mirror. I stand up and walk towards it, looking in. There’s a beautiful white and gold filigree mask painted on my face, like bird feathers, but it shimmers with gold, and my eyes sparkle the same colour.
“I told you that you glowed on the inside,” Rolly whispers.
“And people who love me will stay with me now? Forever?” I ask anxiously.
“Yes. The people that love you most in the world will be with you forever,” the fairy confirms with a long look at Rolly.
I turn to Rolly, and his mouth is open, he can’t seem to speak.
“Looks like he’s one that loves you,” the princess says with a warm laugh.
I look at the alpha, almost bouncing with excitement. “Do you?”
“I do. So much. I won’t leave you. I won’t let anything happen to you,” he says in a rough voice.
I’m happy. This is my happiest day. I bounce to him and hug him tight.
“Thank you, Rolly. I love you, too.”
He finally breaks free and hugs me back. “Shall we go find the others? We have to show them your spell.”
“Yes! Do you think they love me, too?”
“Oh, yes, I know they do.”
“Rolly?”
“Yes, Dove.”
“Are you my family? You said before that taking care of each other is what family does. Is that what we are?”
He pauses, then turns and puts his hands on both my shoulders, ducking down until he can stare into my eyes. “Yes, I am your family. If you will have me.”
“Of course, I will have you!” I say tartly.
“Then, we are family, for now and forever.”
The princess looks at me and smiles. “Keep that little bird. It can be a reminder of this day. Plus, I think that doves suit you.”
I squeal and give the princess a hug, which she returns.
“You be safe, little bird,” she whispers and shoos me back to Rolly.
He takes my hand, pulling me close to his side, and we go and find the others, threading through the throngs of people. I don’t feel scared anymore, even when people shout and laugh loudly.
King gasps, and the others turn. All of them watch me, staring, and then they smile.
Pix laughs. “You are a princess, I knew it!”
I giggle. “No, silly.”
“Oh, yes, you are. I can tell.”
I don’t ask if they love me, but I watch them and how they treat me, and I think they are my family and that they love me, too.
I love them. They saved us. They don’t hit us or hurt us or make me do bad things. Just thinking about Father is scary, so I push him out of my mind.
We walk and eat ice cream and hot chips. They buy lots of cute little things and get me anything that makes me smile.
It’s a wonderful day.
It’s going perfectly.
Until I see her.
I go still, staring. The alphas notice at once. The girl is holding the hand of an older woman. She looks like she’s about twelve, and she’s not happy being there. Across the vast distance, our eyes meet and lock. She stops, staring at me. Her face goes white, and she looks terrified.
Of me.
“Dove?”
I take a step towards her, trying to remember who she is.
“Hey, Dove, where are you going?”
She’s just a stranger.
She should be just a stranger, but I know her. I’m whimpering and then crying.
“Raven!” Mr Rose shouts. “What did you do?”
Raven slams into us and turns us away, squeezing our eyes shut. I try to fight her, but I can’t.
Kestrel fights Raven. Merle and Raptor join in, but they can’t stop her.
I struggle with the body, fighting to open my eyes.
“Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t look.”
I can’t stop saying the words, but they aren’t mine.
“Please. Stop. Don’t look.”
I let out a shrill scream, but then I’m swept up into arms. When I look up, the girl is gone. The old lady is gone.
Raven disappears, but I’m wrung out and scared.
I cry because it’s not right, and I don’t like it. Mr Rose scoops me in his arms and hurries me away from the crowds of people. The sun sets on my beautiful day, and the nightmares come back again.
I clamp my mouth shut, afraid if I open it, Raven’s words will continue to pour out of me.
I can’t feel them, they are deep and gone, but not. I know they are there.
Don’t look.
Why not?
The alphas are the ones who keep me in one piece. They whisper and get me into bed, and Pix curls up with me, pulling my head down onto his chest where he strokes my back in soothing circles.
“Did you know that girl?”
I don’t answer. I don’t know the answer.
Time passes. The sun rises. I haven’t slept, too scared that if I did, the bad things would come in the night and kill me.
“Nightingales,” I exhale the word in a whisper and sink into the chamber.
It’s a burnt husk of what it used to be. Raven is sitting on her throne, refusing to acknowledge the others who are shouting at her.
I go to mine and sit there, crossing my legs and hugging my bear as I stare at her.
“We have a family now. The spell brought them all to me,” I say defiantly.
My other alters turn and look at me.
“We have a family, and we are a family. We shouldn’t fight. You did a bad thing!” I shout at her. “You’re not meant to do bad things anymore.”
Kestrel moves away from Raven and leans on her throne. I look to the side where there’s a dark space that I don’t remember being quite so wide before.
“We’re not fighting, we’re discussing,” Kestrel says.
“Don’t lie to me,” I growl.
Kestrel snorts and sits down. Jay moves to his throne.
“You looked beautiful today, Dove.”
I smile at him. “It was a spell to attract love.”
“I think it worked,” he says.
Merle sits on her throne and leans on the side of it, staring straight ahead as if she is lost in thought.
“You said Nightingales,” Kestrel says to Raven with an acid tone. “I know that word.”
“It’s a common word,” Raven says sarcastically.
Kestrel glares at her. “What were you doing?”
Raven draws herself up, wings flaring out behind her. “Protecting us, like I always do. We aren’t ready for that information yet, so leave it alone.”
“No, if you know something, we should all know.”
Raven growls, and the sound makes the room tremble. “You risk our lives and that girl’s asking questions. Forget you saw her.”
Kestrel’s mouth falls open. She closes it. Opens it. Closes it, and finally looks away. Raven has won.
No one will ask.
“Do you think the pack will keep us?” I whisper. “Are they telling the truth?”
Raptor, who has been unusually silent, looks up and smiles. “Yes, I don’t think we’ll be getting rid of them now. They are ours forever.”
Raven stands up. “Or until Father finds us.”
The happiness I feel is doused in ice water. Tears well in my eyes, and I start to cry.
“He’s going to be so mad at us.”
“Yeah, he is. I hope he gets really, really mad now,” Raven whispers.
The fear I always feel when I think about him returns, and I curl into a ball and start sobbing, harder and louder.
“It’s all right, Dove. We’re here. Nothing is going to get you,” the voice whispers into our mind, curling around and around us.
I look up, startled. “What is that?”
“That is Roseland,” Raven whispers, awe all over her face.
“Why can we hear Roseland in our inner sanctum?” Kestrel whispers.
“Because he is ours,” Raven says. “Because he’s safe. Because we must completely trust him.” She spins in a circle and laughs.
“Dove?” Pix calls. “You can come back now or sleep. It’s okay.”
I stand up, turning around, trying to find him.
“We’re here,” Blaze murmurs. “Don’t cry.”
“Oh, my god,” Raven says and moves to the center of the room. Raptor is sitting still, her eyes closed, tears sliding down her face.
“You are safe,” King says.
Merle stands up and rushes towards Raven. She grabs her hand and holds on. Kestrel joins them.
“Always safe with us. No more nightmares, Dove,” Sage purrs.
Jay gets up and joins the others. Then Raptor.
I stand up and take a step and pause, not quite willing to trust it.
“You have a spell a princess gave you, and it brought you love and family. Be brave, little warrior. Your family will look after you now.”
I close the distance, and for the first time since we discovered ourselves, we’re completely in sync, completely in awe. Something deep healing within us. A fire burns. Something new, something scary.
“We’re a Nightingale,” Kestrel says. “But I don’t know what that means.”
“Yes,” Raven concedes. “You don’t know what it means…yet.”
It’s hope, I realise.
We’ve got hope.