37. Dove
Dove
Iwake up and jump out of bed, standing beside it, pressing my back to the cold wall. That smell of rotten leaves is back, wafting through the air just like that night I first smelled it. I didn’t even know what it was back then, but I know now.
There is nowhere to hide. My breathing is loud, and I struggle to slow it down so he doesn’t hear, but a scream is lodged in my throat. Outside the door, I hear a distinct male grunt of sound, a shuffle of a shoe I recognise, that I know isn’t my family.
The wall is freezing, but I don’t dare turn away, I don’t think my legs will hold me. I think I will fall.
Mummy. Where is my mummy?
I swipe at the tears, staring at the door, willing what is on the other side to go away.
I glance down in the dark and see a knife right beside my foot. It’s like someone placed it there, knowing I would see it. I hesitate. It’s the folded one that Raven gave Mr Rose. He loves it.
He won’t be mad, will he?
I snatch it up and hide it in the layers of clothes, tucking it under the flesh on my chest. My breathing is getting heavier, faster. My chest rising so hard and fast that I feel dizzy.
I turn, reaching out for Robin, but she’s not there. Where is Robin?
Where is Rose?
Robin’s already dead.
Rose is…dead? No! He’s not dead.
The door handle jiggles.
“Please, please, go away. Go away.”
A whimper slips into the words, and I whine. Weak, that will get us hurt. Don’t make noises. He’s going to hurt me! I slap my free hand to the bond on my neck, covering it, hoping that it will go warm like it sometimes does, and I won’t be alone.
But it doesn’t, it stays cold.
I want Mr Rose. Where is my Rolly?
Big, fat tears roll down my cheeks, and I crouch down, wrapping my arms around my knees. Squeezing so tight my fingers ache. The door bangs open, and I scream, but the nightmare doesn’t go away. He’s bigger than ever, that skull mask gleaming against the black.
My head gets all light, and I feel like I might fall sideways, but I don’t. I’m a rock, frozen in horror.
He walks in, confident and calm, takes my chin in his hand, wrenching my head up, holding my jaw painfully.
Help. Help me. Please, help me. Mr Rose, where are you?
“Merelee,” he sings. “You are a very naughty girl. It’s time to come home now and be punished.”
No, oh, please, no.
I scream, but he just casually backhands me, making my face hurt. Father grabs my wrist and drags me from the room. I fight each and every step, my muscles locked as I resist this monster. I couldn’t move them even if I wanted to. Where is my family? Where is Blaze? And King?
I glance back wildly, wanting to do nothing more than go back into that room when I see something that has Kestrel rising beside me.
King is sitting at the table. He’s face down in his food.
He’s not moving. At all.
“King?” I whimper. “What’s wrong with him?”
Father chuckles like it’s funny. But it’s not. My King, why is he in his food? Is he…dead? My heart thunders, and I think I might die. My legs collapse, and I wobble, but Father holds me up.
I take my eyes off him and see Rose collapsed on the floor on his side. It’s just like Mummy and Daddy. It’s just like that night. I start to cry, silently, but with increasing panic as I see more. Rolly’s legs are visible from the bathroom. I can’t see the rest of him.
Blaze’s hair is in the kitchen doorway.
Where is Pix?
I search until I find him. He’s half under the couch. Someone has thrown a blanket over him, as if they were trying to hide him when they all died.
Sage is missing. Where is Sage?
They are dead. Oh, my god. I am alone again. I wail and scream, crying so loud I can’t breathe. Shrieking my agony. Father just stands there watching me, but I can feel his amusement, his happiness.
And the whole time, I’m tearing apart. I’m breaking. The others are shouting, but the inner chamber is rattling, and I can’t hold it together. I can’t.
They are dead. No.
I’m alone.
Again.
I can’t go back. I don’t want to. It’s not fair.
They said they would protect me. They said we would be together. We had a magic spell.
He lets go of me, I fall to my knees, doubling over myself, howling. He spreads his arms wide.
“This is what happens when you disobey me, Merelee.”
I scream louder and pant and skitter back from him, but he shadows me.
Like always. I crawl backwards, my fingers clawing at the cold lino floor.
He moves towards me, gliding, really, huge and dark.
That raven skull staring its terror into my soul.
I let out a small whimper and push to my feet and step back again, my legs are stiff, and it hurts to move.
Maybe it would be better to be dead.
The bond flares to life inside me like a phoenix burning alive out of the ashes it died in. Someone’s alive? I turn, searching, scanning. Sage?
Sage is alive?
I’m not alone?
“He will kill Sage if he finds him,” Kestrel whispers in my head. “Do not react.”
“Are you scared, Merelee?” Father croons.
I nod my head, still struggling with my sobbing.
“Good. You are in big trouble.”
“Father,” I whisper, pleading. Protesting. “I didn’t mean to.”
“You have been really, really bad, little bird.”
I stare at him, shaking uncontrollably.
He reaches out and cups my cheek.
“It’s time to come home, Merelee. Your new family are dead. They never really loved you anyway, not like I do.” He pauses, and then he laughs. It scares me. It scares me more than anything. “You are my Merelee, aren’t you?”
I jerk my head up, looking at him, feeling my lower lip tremble. Terrified. More so than I have ever been.
“Or is it Kestrel?”
My hands clench on my top, holding the material in a death grip as my mind goes white, and there’s this howling of pure terror inside me.
“Or maybe it’s Raven? No? Is it…Raptor?”
How does he know? I tremble. How does he know? Inside, I start screaming and not just me. All of us.
We’re in trouble.
We’re in so much trouble.
He’s going to hurt us.
He’s going to punish us.
“Nope, I think perhaps it’s Jay? Am I right?”
I stare at him, my throat locked closed. I couldn’t make a sound if I wanted to.
“Not right again. Well, there’s only one left now, isn’t there? It’s my little Dove.”
Tears fill my eyes and spill down my cheeks, and I shake from head to toe. He steps closer and crouches until I’m staring into those sockets, unable to see a human under the monster in the mask. I shudder as he reaches out, touching my cheek with those leather gloves that have held so much blood.
“Ah, little Dove. You’re my special one. Did you think I didn’t know? I know you; I know all my birds, and you are my baby dove. Come, it’s time to go home and pay for what you stole from me.”
Father pulls me in and hugs me.
He puts a hand on the back of my neck and with a tiny bit of pressure, he guides me out of the house and into the big black car that’s sitting there waiting for us. It’s dark and scary, and I don’t want to go in there. Bad things happen in the dark with Father. That’s where he hurts you.
Hope that was flickering to life fades and dies.
Father ignores me when I start to cry again, he just keeps up the pressure and takes us into hell.
Back…where I belong.