Chapter 12
Water whipped my face as he swam faster than a human could ever dream. My lungs burned, begging for oxygen. The murky water was impossible to see through, but vines of aquatic plants brushed over me.
As we moved, I realized we were going over a family of alligators, resting at the bottom.
I knew that because the mama had a baby on her head, and she snapped at me for being so close to her baby.
Her mouth came too close to my exposed belly, but with one firm shove, the monster forced her jaw shut. Then kept going as if nothing happened.
He was oddly gentle with the feisty momma, not like he was with the humans of my camp. Like he respected her, despite the number of her kind’s bones he’d collected.
The urge to exhale and inhale turned to panic, and I flailed against the monster, trying to break free of his iron hold. Pressure pressed down on me as he went even further down.
Could I even swim to the surface fast enough? It wasn’t uncommon for there to be tiny air pockets at the tops of tunnels like this. If I remained calm, I might find one.
The edges of my eyesight blurred as his direction turned upwards. He held me up above the water.
That first inhale hurt as coughs wracked my body. He sat me on my feet and I found myself in a shallow pond. I landed on my hands and knees, as I struggled to get oxygen regulated back through my body.
When I could finally focus around me, I found myself in a beautiful blue pond surrounded by a natural wall of tall trees, with effigies made of bone and stained red, hanging from each one.
The falling sun filtered through the canopy of leaves.
Fish swam around us in a large berth, but it was clear enough to see the species. They weren’t native to the area.
It looked like a perfect oasis retreat. A rundown cabin with claw marks etched into the side sat nestled in a far corner, and I understood why. It was easy to visualize life here.
A vision of strange beauty at the center of darkness.
I went to my feet, studying the glowing water. “Bioluminescence. It must be gorgeous at night.”
Shannon would love a crack at the contained ecosystem. It would eat her up that I saw it first.
The monster chuckled darkly, bringing attention to the shadow looming over me. I whirled around and jumped back, creating distance between us.
The large puncture wound, from when I shot him a couple of hours ago, still wept on his shoulder, but he’d used some plants to staunch the worst of the bleeding. More evidence of his intelligence.
He roared, and the birds nearby panicked, mimicking the screams I wanted to let out, but I held steady. If he was a man, I couldn’t afford to show anymore fear. I wasn’t in the habit of handing people more negotiation pieces over me.
Rage filled the thick air, until it was impossible to hold on to a semblance of calm. I wasn’t sure whose was what.
We stood there, silently fuming, our eyes locked in a battle of wills.
“Fuck you!” I yelled. It felt good to say, and a healthy part of me was yelling it to every asshole who thought he could use me however he wanted.
“Fuck you!” He snarled back, making my ears ring. I hated that his voice had so much more power than mine.
He took two long strides to end up in my face. I punched his chest, but he didn’t even flinch. He laughed as if it was funny that I had the audacity to fight back.
The boiling heat inside exploded, and before I could even think about it, I jammed my fingers into the open wound on his shoulder.
The growl of agony gave me a sense of satisfaction. He grabbed me by my pits and tossed me backward. I skidded across the water like a pebble, before landing stomach down on white sand, that was harder than it looked. I bit my lip on the way down, and liquid metal filled my mouth.
I groaned, but forced myself onto my hands and knees. I unclipped my backpack, but he yanked it out of my hands, throwing it out of reach. I wiped the blood off my lip and stood, turning to face him.
When was the last time I fought a man this hard?
Every time I ran, appeased, or avoided, a part of me shrank. Maybe that was why I was such an easy target.
Talia is always prepared for the worst, I remembered Gale’s words.
Forget that.
Confusion filled his eyes. “You can’t win a fight against me. Why are you trying?”
I reminded myself of all the foster fathers who wanted to ‘take care of me’ of all the ones who wanted to extract their pound of flesh for favors I never asked for. I couldn’t win those fights either.
Maybe that was what I really hated about Shannon; she never let anyone knock the fight out of her. But that was a choice. It wasn’t her fault that I decided survival was more important than preserving my soul.
It just took a monster to remind me of that.
I reached into the deep pockets of my cargo pants and pulled out a knife, holding it to my throat. “Yes, I can.”
“Wait!” True panic filled his voice.
“We’re linked, right?” I slid the knife, letting the blade slice the top layer of skin. The sting of the wound was just the cherry on top of my point. “If I die, you die.”
The way his jaw snapped shut and took a step back, confirmed my theory.
I intertwined with this monster.
Sweet control was in my hands now, and it half made me drunk. When was the last time I was truly free?
The briefest memory of my life with my mother flitted through my mind. A shadow moving through my house and her screams shook me free, but the memory was so fragmented I couldn’t make sense of it. All I remembered was being scared.
He put his hands up with a snarl.
“What do you want?” I asked, but kept the blade ready.
“You shot us.” A snarl formed on his lips, but he kept the sound deep in his chest.
“Only a little,” I squeaked. Okay, maybe I wasn’t a hundred percent innocent in this. “You didn’t die.”
In a move I could never hope to follow, he ripped my wrist away from my throat with enough power that my shoulder popped out of place. “You don’t get to be self-destructive anymore, not when you’re bonded to my life.”
He squeezed my wrist until the pocketknife dropped from my hand, landing in the water with a big plop. Using his grip on my wrist, he yanked me to him, until I stumbled against his chest. “I will keep you safe, even from yourself.”
I laughed with a touch of insanity. Safe! He called any of this keeping me safe? “You wouldn’t even give a fuck, if I wasn’t tethered to you.”
“No! I wouldn’t.” He snarled, leaning down until we were eye to eye.
I slapped him across the face. The pop was satisfying, but the agony of every bone in my hand quickly squashed that tiny victory.
That didn’t stop me from doing it again, though. He grabbed my wrist once more to stop me. Annoyance made him flick his tongue.
A flash of anger went through me that didn’t feel like it belonged to me. Yet it did. Resentment and rage were some of my oldest friends, but this tasted ancient and metallic.
Perhaps that was just the blood on my tongue.
A spark of an idea lit up his eyes. A rumble in his chest, that sounded like a purr, made me shake. Everything inside me trembled.
I knew it was coming before it happened, but I was helpless to stop it.
Every muscle loosened and my knees wobbled. I stumbled around like I was drunk, trying to get my body to cooperate.
He wasn’t putting me on my knees again.
I refused.
Not that I was ready for any kind of a fight, swaying unsteadily like a newborn colt.
The purring grew deeper and resonated in my chest until I felt it inside me. It made my joints collapse again, and I leaned on him to stay upright. “Asshole.”
His skin was leathery and yet soft, lacking all the tough keratin that was on his back. It was also cool on my sweaty skin, and I hated how refreshing he felt against me.
His nose travelled my throat and the groan he tried to muffle made my face hot, and embarrassing moisture gathered between my thighs. Something huge and hard pressed against my stomach, and it took me a moment too long to realize what it was.
He liked that my body submitted to him.
Disgusting bastard.
The quiet part of me, that was sick of always having to be in control and to hide the truth, eased into a peaceful place. I was tired of micromanaging everything to make sure a man didn’t think he had as much control as he did.
There was no illusion to uphold here.
I fought to keep that part of me from getting any foothold, but he sensed my quiet submission. His groans grew needier and less controlled.
He was smelling me.
That despite how disgusted I was with him, a piece of me craved what he could give me.
I smashed my eyes shut. Think about the smell of wet dog. Think about a grandpa who couldn’t get it up. Something.
Anything to break my concentration off of how badly my core throbbed for his touch.
He went to his knees, pressing his nose between my thighs and nuzzling me with affection I knew he didn’t feel.
I pushed at his gigantic head, but he refused to move. Instead, his arm came around my thighs to hold me tighter to his face.
“You can’t do this.” But my breathless words didn’t even convince me.
Heat that had nothing to do with the humidity rolled over me from head to toe, waking up butterflies in my stomach that fluttered with anticipation.
“No, it’s not happening.” I wasn’t sure who I was speaking to, but neither he nor my fucked up desires listened.
When he grabbed the front of my pants, dipping his fingers past the edge of my waistband. My hips thrusted against his touch.
Stop, I couldn’t even get the words off my lips. As if even considering such a thing was a betrayal to myself.
No, allowing this was the true betrayal to myself.
He pulled the front seam to himself, making the fabric complain and rip in defeat with one tug. It tore perfectly down the center, destroying my pants at their weakest point.
Probably the exact same way he’d destroy me if I didn’t find the will to stop this.