Chapter 23
Hands are on me, gentle and soft, and yet I burn like I’m being torn to shreds.
I trusted him.
He promised to keep me safe.
His wife said no one would hurt me anymore.
It was all a lie.
Stupid little girl. How could you fall into such a trap?
Everything was in the shadows of my pretty and perfect bedroom. The one they’d made to make the stray feel at home. So I’d never feel the pink walls closing in and suffocating me against the matching sheets. I should be grateful that they made it so comfortable.
Meanwhile, he broke something deep inside me that I would never recover.
His muffled grunts were the only sound in the darkness. The bed shook in a controlled rhythm as a heavy weight pressed down on me. But I refused to think about what he was doing.
I stared at the glow in the dark stars behind him. I should have known this place was fake. Even the stars were fake.
A single hot tear escaped my eye.
When I grew up, I wanted real stars.
He wiped the tears away, and his gray eyes came into view. “Good girl.”
I wake up with a gasp. Something bothered me about the dream, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I was missing something.
All those memories were stuffed away a long time ago. What was my mind trying to show me now?
I couldn’t even remember his name or face. Did it even happen?
My eyes went to where Rot slept last night, only to find him missing in the dim morning light. But the fire cackled enough that someone recently fed the fire.
He’ll be back. The thought hit me sideways. I didn’t know that, and it was dangerous to believe in such a thing.
I made myself a crude cup of coffee and breakfast over the fire. Sitting on the ground by the flames, I enjoyed my meal in peace.
The frogs' singing irritated me. I wanted silence on this otherwise perfect morning. I shook the thought from my head. Now that the other students and professors were gone, I should have been reveling in the sounds of nature.
My agitation increased, making it impossible to appreciate my eggs and coffee. My fingers itched to kill something.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Grumbling came into the clearing, but I recognized the heavy steps immediately.
See, he did come back. I squashed that expectation immediately before it could hurt me.
“Of course I came back.” He snarled, sitting beside me. Blood coated him from head to toe, and he had a human arm in his hand. “One of the students managed to escape me.”
“I’m glad.”
He rolled his eyes. “The only one you care about is the girl, and I’m not after her. I don’t even think she is here. At least not in the immediate area.”
“How are the others still in the area?”
He took a big bite out of the arm he brought with him, making me spit my egg out. Humans were never as far removed from the food chain as we thought, but my stomach didn’t care about that. After he swallowed, he finally answered, “They are village idiots. What kind of students are they?”
“They are a mixed bag. Surveyors for land development, lawyers, businessmen, architects. Basically, people who want to profit off the land.”
“And you and the girl?”
“I was going to be a wildlife biologist. Shannon is going to be an ecologist,” I answered, but felt the confusion in his thoughts. “Shannon studied how plants, animals, and the land interact with each other. I study the behaviors and habitats of animals.”
“The weird teacher obsessed with you?” I recognized the annoyed edge in his voice.
“He teaches various conservation classes. From 101 to mastery.”
“Is he married? If I recall, teachers find mates easily.”
I paused at the random question and found I had to think hard about the answer. It hadn’t come up much over the years. “Divorced. I think.”
“I wonder why.” He growled softly. His lip curled in a way that made me think Gale wouldn’t get out of here intact. Who was I kidding? He taught me everything I knew. Gale was long gone.
He held out the arm to me. “Do you want some?”
I popped my lips. “No, thank you.”
He studied my half-eaten plate, as if to decide if he would accept that answer. I guess he did, because he didn’t push further, taking another mouthful.
Nausea filled my stomach as I watched him chew the remnants of a person. As soon as I thought it, he tossed the arm into the fire with an expression like a toddler who changed their mind about what they wanted.
My curiosity peaked. As soon as I was grossed out, he didn’t want it anymore, and I suspected the majority of people who went missing here were personally digested by him. Exactly what was the nature of this link?
“You asked me a question yesterday. I get to ask you one now.” He brushed his hands against each other, like he was trying to get rid of human crumbs.
“Yeah, cause that went great.” The sarcasm radiating from the words couldn’t be helped.
But he chuckled and helped ease the sudden nerves gathering in my chest. “I’m sure this will go just as well, but I guess sometimes it has to happen. If you need to storm off and calm down, that’s fine.”
His words sliced through a couple layers in my defenses, that I didn’t realize needed to be protected. Conflict between us was okay.
Not punishment worthy.
I wouldn’t end up locked in a closet.
He’d leave room for me to be mad.
Could that be real? Guess there was only one way to find out. I scratched the back of my neck nervously. “What’s your question?”
“Rinah witches take care of their own. Where is your family?”
“My mother was killed when I was five.” I remembered the shadows and the screaming, but I couldn’t recall much more than that. I couldn’t remember much from her at all. “The reports say an unidentified wild animal broke into the house.”
“Probably someone like me,” he said casually as if it was the most realistic answer. “I’m not the only monster out there.”
“You think my mom was like Levicy?” My voice grew small. But that would explain the sounds and weird shadows. That could be explained by something that wasn’t animal or man.
The few memories I had she was warm and kind. She talked about doing the right thing and not abusing power. Her memory held me together in weak moments. But I was her daughter, it was possible she was someone else entirely.
Hell, Levicy was a mom trying to protect her children.
“Maybe.” He shrugged. “I can smell a Rinah witch before she even enters the swamp. It’s possible something just caught wind of her.”
His red eyes went over me with irritation. “Or you.”
“How did you know I was related to them? The eyes?”
“It’s a giveaway.” His finger traced my eye, then pulled away as if he hadn’t realized what he’d done.Then he pointed at my pendant. “So is that.”
I grabbed the obsidian necklace, feeling the smooth, warm stone. “My mom gave it to me. It makes me feel safe.”
It was one of the only constants in my life.
“It wards off evil spirits,” he answered easily. “It does keep you safe. Especially here. The humans say this place is haunted.”
I chuckled, dropping the crystal back against my chest. Maybe. But one thing it definitely didn’t do was keep evil humans away.
“Levicy used to tell me a story when she was feeling kind.” He stared across the swamp as if he were remembering something far away. “That your line is cursed to attract evil in all its forms, because the ancestor, Eleanor, who came over from the old world, tainted your blood.”
“How?” I glanced at my arm as if I’d be able to see what he spoke of. There was no surprise that my veins looked like everyone else's.
“Eleanor cast a spell that was unforgivable and would be punished generation after generation.”
I snorted, “What kind of spell does Levicy consider unforgivable?”
“It was so unspeakable that the family doesn’t even speak about it. The knowledge was lost. But whatever she did created the first monster and gave you the Rinah name.”
“Rinah means pure or something like that.” I’d looked it up once in a desperate attempt to understand where I came from better.
He shrugged. “Maybe to most. That’s not what it means to your bloodline.”
It was almost surreal to sit and have a calm discussion with him. Instead of him existing near me while he snarled. That he could tell me more about my family than I’d ever managed to research or remember. “Well, none of these witches claimed me, so I ended up in the foster system.”
“Foster system?”
“Temporary homes with temporary caretakers for children who don’t have homes.” Where I’d found family after family of people using the system to get close to kids to abuse.
It wasn’t all garbage. Some people really wanted to love kids. But by the time I got to families like that, I couldn’t trust them.
The good people I pushed away were probably my biggest regret.
I owed them an apology. I needed to tell them it wasn’t their fault that they couldn’t fix someone who was already ruined.
That even thinking about their soft love made me want to flee. And that was on me, not them.
Rot started pacing the camp nervously. The same thing he’d done the day before, right when he snapped. I watched him, waiting for him to do something.
He was unstable. Just like yesterday, there wasn’t any perceivable reason for him to behave like this. I hadn’t done anything to create this response. I had my own demons to fight, how could I handle his?
Like fighting the urge to run from everything that made me uncomfortable. Like I had yesterday.
The realization clicked in place, and I fought the urge to slap my forehead. Each time his emotions suddenly pivoted, I’d been considering running away.
An emotion he probably wasn’t used to. So he paced yesterday until he couldn’t tolerate it anymore and ran away from me.
My agitation from the morning hit me with new understanding. I hadn’t been in a bad mood. He was, because he lost his prey.
He wasn’t the one who wanted to run. That was me.
He stopped in his tracks to look at me curiously, as he considered whether my thoughts were true or not.
Right then, one of the students ran straight into the clearing. I watched him barrel closer with determination in his eyes. Even Rot watched with a raised eyebrow, probably wondering what this man’s plan was.
He grabbed me by my pits, hauling me to my feet. My cup and plate clattered to the ground. Mild irritation filled me.
“I’ll save you,” he proclaimed. Great, a hero. That’s exactly what the situation needed.
“Hands off the woman.” Rot growled threateningly.
“Run!” The guy grabbed my hands and tried to pull me behind him.
“Maybe you should focus on yourself.” I broke his grip at the thumb, forcing him to release me. “Worrying about me isn’t going to help you.”
Before I could shove him to run in the other direction, he held out his hand for me to take. The desperation in his eyes made me feel bad.
Rot’s oppressive shadow came over us, making the man’s eyes grow wider with terror.
He should have listened. There was nothing he could do to save me, and there was nothing I could do to stop what was about to happen.
Rot’s mouth went round his wrist and slammed down like a sledgehammer. The student screamed in horror as his arm went flying, landing next to my feet.
Hot blood sprayed across me and into my mouth. At that point, he finally tried to run away, but it was too late for that.
Rot’s rage was boiling in my chest. It was bad enough his swamp was under attack, but no one would touch his mate.
I hated how the possessive edge of his thoughts made a need race through me. I was his. Not a stray. His.
I wanted to slap myself as soon as the thought crossed my mind. He’d know exactly how to twist the knife jabbed inside me. I couldn’t allow myself to be that dependent on him.
Living in uneasy peace I could handle.
Not this.
I took a step back.
He dispatched the boy and creeped to me still on all fours. The growl in his throat dared me to run. That escape wasn’t possible.
I swallowed the rock lodged in my throat, closing my eyes. I took a few deep breaths and imagined being rooted to the swamp.
I was his mate.
Whether he wanted me or not.
There wasn’t a point in running. I wouldn’t get anywhere. That was more comforting than it should have been.
When I opened my eyes, he stood on two legs, watching me with curiosity. I glanced down and saw exactly how much blood coated me.
“Come on.” He grabbed my hand and guided me to the water’s edge.
“I upset you,” I reminded him. “You should be snapping at me.”
He kneeled with me to wash my hands and arms. Not that it helped, I was covered. He helped me pull the soaked shirt over my head. I took off my boots and pants, sinking into the water.
He followed me in, using his hands to wash the blood away. “You know, you could just go naked. I’ll murder any man who looks at you.”
The sudden promise broke through the awkward state I was in, making me laugh. He leaned back, guiding me to float with him in the water.
It made the truth crystal clear.
When I tried to shield myself, so did he. When I calmed down, so did he. That didn’t mean anything good for two people who were unhealed. We fed each other’s chaos.
I reached back to cup his face. He leaned into my hand, his purr vibrating against my back.
We were doomed to destroy each other.