Chapter Seventeen – Rose
ROSE
Rose, Meet Consequences
“ Y ou. Did. What?” Isa stared at me across my bed of lettuce. “You fucked him again?”
I cleared my throat. “Not to be pedantic, but technically, he fucked me.”
“He’s been fucking you since he arrived here.
I suppose he owed you at least a bit of pleasure from it one time,” she grumbled.
“But you ! How could you sleep with him again? I thought you hated him? How did you go from running through the village in a lettuce bikini carrying a sign with his face on it to shagging him senseless?”
I scratched the underside of my jaw, peering away from her. “I… Well… That’s an excellent question, my friend. Maybe it was the lettuce bikini that tickled his pickle.”
“Rose, I ask this with all sincerity, but what the fuck is wrong with you?”
I tilted my head to the side. “That’s a loaded question.”
“No, no.” She hurriedly waved her hands. “Don’t answer that. I don’t have that much free time.”
Rude.
“But seriously, babe… I know you’re impulsive and erratic at the best of times, but what on Earth possessed you to sleep with your self-proclaimed mortal enemy?”
“Um.” I shifted uncomfortably, taking care not to disturb the sleeping void of cat currently in my empty harvest basket. “Would you believe me if I said it was an accident?”
Isa blinked at me. “No. No, I would not. You don’t accidentally have sex with someone. The act of inserting a penis into a vagina—or allowing it—is a conscious action, so there was nothing accidental about him buttering your bread.”
Her and her frigging food euphemisms.
“Thank you, Dr Isadora,” I retorted dryly. “Then it was all his fault for seducing me. I’m a weak woman in the face of a handsome man with a magic tongue who knows how to fuck me until my legs give out.”
She sighed, collapsing onto the side of the wooden bed in a very Disney-princess-like way. “If only he wasn’t the duke and the bastard ruining your life, I’d totally tell you to marry him. You still don’t want him, right?”
“A momentary lapse in my judgement does not equal me wanting to pursue anything other than revenge as far as that man is concerned.”
“Then I’m seriously considering breaking girl code and seducing him for myself.”
I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Woah. What’s that look for?”
I blinked. “What look?”
“That death glare.” She sat up straight and smirked. “Is that for the breaking of girl code or the seducing your man part?”
“He is not my man. He never was my man. He will never be my man!”
“That’s quite the denial there, Rose.” Susan opened my gate. “The chickens are coming.”
“They’re not the only ones.” Isa snorted.
That little…
Susan blinked. “Ooh. Isa, have you found a new man? Have you moved on from the hot vet already?”
“Ha!” I laughed so loudly that Hades awoke with a start.
Isa glared at me. “Don’t start with me, sluttypants. Do you want me to tell everyone what you’ve been up to?”
I froze.
Shit.
She had me.
She was going to blackmail the hell out of me with that.
I cleared my throat into my fist before scooping the cat out of my basket and removing the blanket he’d been sleeping on. “I would prefer if you didn’t discuss my private business with other people.”
Susan wrinkled up her face. “Then don’t discuss your private business in public, dear.”
She made a very good point.
Either way, that put the conversation to bed. There was no way we could continue discussing my little mistake with Susan around. If anyone found out I’d slept with Oliver, it was no exaggeration to say that my life would implode.
But it wasn’t my fault.
I couldn’t help it. My base desires took over, and I’d been powerless to fight against myself. No—I hadn’t wanted to.
I knew full well that I could have pushed him away and said no. If I’d done it, he would have respected my wishes without question. I could have ended things at any time, and he would have done exactly what I wanted.
I’d simply been unable to, especially when he’d said he’d fuck me so hard I’d hate him all over again.
It’d sounded just like a challenge, and I couldn’t back down where he was concerned.
I had an innate need to fight and argue every little point with him.
I had nobody to blame but myself, and now, I was kicking myself for my weakness.
Especially because I was wondering if I really did hate him .
If I truly, honestly despised that man the way I claimed to, there was no way on Earth I’d allow myself to be swept along with his whims. I wouldn’t have ended up leaving the police station with him, much less going back to Hanbury House and taking a bath like it was some kind of hotel room.
I had no idea how I’d look him in the eye ever again.
Good Lord—the things I’d said to that man!
There was no way he didn’t think of me as some kind of wanton woman with a hate-fuck fetish.
Well.
It wouldn’t be an entirely incorrect assumption. My behaviour had been kind of wanton, and at the time, I’d most definitely wanted to sample such sex.
If only I’d been drunk, and it hadn’t been the middle of the afternoon in his office.
Where his mother stumbled upon us right after.
That was nothing short of humiliating. Perhaps more so than the way I’d spoken to Oliver when I was in the undeniable throes of lust.
Ugh.
Undeniable throes of lust?
Where did I get off talking like I was in some raunchy historical romance novel?
Had sex taken over my brain? Was I now… Isadora?
Gasp .
The thought was too much to bear.
“Hello?” Isa’s voice cut through my mental reverie. “Of course she’s not answering her phone. She’s tit-deep in chickens right now, Paula.”
Tit-deep was a bit of an exaggeration.
Sure, there was one on my head, but it wasn’t like I’d put Bap there, was it?
Wait. How had the chick gotten on my head? And when had Waffles dropped himself on my lap?
Had I lost what little was left of my poor mind?
“Yeah, yeah, escort him down here. We all know Waffles isn’t moving anytime soon.” Isa glanced at me. “Nor is the one on her head… No, no idea… All right, see you in a few.” She hung up the phone and blinked at me. “How did Barmcake get on your head?”
“It’s Bap. And I was hoping you’d know.”
“How do you know which one it is if you didn’t even know it was on your head?”
“Because Roll is stealing my kale, and Barmcake just shit on your flip-flop.”
Isa jolted, turning to where her discarded flip-flops were. “Barmcake, you rotten little bastard. What did I ever do to you?”
“Abused his overlord,” I muttered. “Who is Paula escorting down here?”
She grinned. “Your favourite person, of course.”
Oh, no.
“This day keeps going from bad to worse.” I sighed, running my fingers through Waffles’ feathers. “Waffles is going to need a raise if I keep running into that bastard.”
“The fact you use your chicken as your therapist is alarming enough without you actively paying him.”
“Isa, listen. If he’s listening to my shit, he needs paying.”
“When are you going to start paying me, then?”
“I listen to your shit. It’s a fair trade,” I said. “Our friendship is equal parts give and take.”
She wrinkled up her nose. “I think I want a new friend.”
“By all means, go and find one. You’ll come running back to me.” I shrugged. “You can’t live without me.”
“Damn this unhealthy co-dependency we have going on,” she grumbled under her breath. “No wonder I can’t settle down. Do you know that the last guy I went out with was threatened by our friendship?”
“Sounds like a him problem,” I replied, scratching Waffles under the chin. “It’s not my fault I treat you better than your boyfriends.”
“You probably need to pick better boyfriends, dear,” Susan said, leaning on the fence between our plots. “Take it from me: friends last longer than men.”
Did that have a double meaning?
Isa raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t know you were so kinky, Susan.”
Susan blushed. “Don’t be so dirty-minded, Isadora.”
My best friend held up her hands. “Hey, no judging here. Although I will make it very clear that I have no desire to see how long Rose lasts. I’ve seen her naked enough times to scar me for life.”
“Hey!” I tossed a piece of gravel at her leg. “What do you mean, scarred? There’s nothing scarring about my naked body!”
“Pfft!” She waved her hand. “That’s the point. You’re hot. You’re slim. You’re toned. Can’t you spare some sympathy for how such a perfect body might scar the chubbier ones among us?”
Susan peered at her. “But you’re not chubby, Isadora, dear.”
“What she said.” I pointed at Susan. “Put your fishing pole away. There are no compliments here for you to catch.”
“Maybe it’s my taste in friends after all. My taste in men is just fine.” Isa huffed, but her frown quickly turned into a mischievous grin. “Speaking of fine men…”
I turned in the direction she was looking and groaned at the sight of Oliver walking towards my plot with a very disgruntled looking Paula in front of him. “Please don’t compliment the man ruining my life.”
“Oh, so I can’t compliment him, but you can fu—”
“La la la la la!” I said loudly, startling Waffles into jumping off my lap. “Sorry, can’t hear you!”
She snorted, slowly shaking her head, then looked up with a bright smile. “Good day, Your Grace. Are you here to help?”
“Yes, I—” Oliver’s eyes flicked between us. “Why is there a chick sleeping on your head?”
I turned my gaze upwards as if I could see Bap resting there. “His name is Bap.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“I don’t care.” I sniffed. “If you’re here for me, you’re going to have to wait until Bap is done with his nap.”
Oliver blinked at me. “Do you think I have that much free time?”
“You have enough free time to move and terrorise the peaceful vegetable-growing villagers of Hanbury, so you have more free time than me.”
“Rose, you’re sitting on the ground with a chick asleep on your head. How is this not your free time?”
“I don’t have free time. Every minute of my time is meticulously planned out,” I retorted. “And that includes time for making a list of those who have wronged me, plotting my revenge, researching the feasibility of my revenge plans, and carrying out said revenge.”
“That sounds an awful lot like a threat.”
“Oh, good. You did hear me correctly.”
He sighed and ran his hand down his face. “Well, my time right now is not free time. It’s the time I allotted for you since I owe you, so I’m here to get my hands dirty.”
“No, you’re here to see how important the allotments are to this community.” I looked at his feet. “And you aren’t doing any gardening in those sandals. What would Monty Don say?”
“Who’s Monty Don?”
I blinked and then looked at Paula. “Escort this heathen out of here, Lady Secretary.”
She held up her hands and walked off. “He’s your problem now, Madam Chairwoman.”
“I’m docking your salary!”
“You don’t pay me a salary, Rose!”
“No more gin in the meetings for you!”
Paula stopped, turned, and walked back to Oliver before motioning towards the exit. “This way, please.”
I grinned.
Oliver held up his hand, and his eyebrows quirked in question. “Are you truly trying to escort me off of my own property?”
Ah.
Yes.
That did put a slight spanner in the works.
“Never mind,” I said to Paula. “This one is liable to call the police, and I don’t have time for a time-out today.”
She nodded sagely. “Good decision. I’ll leave you to it, then.” She paused, glancing at Oliver, then leant over my fence, raising her hand to the side of her mouth conspiratorially. “By the way, Rose, not many people are happy that he’s here.”
Was she supposed to whisper that?
Paula couldn’t whisper if her life depended on it.
“I know,” I replied. “I was counting on that.”
Oliver sighed, running his hand through his hair. Isa blinked at him, but his actions were barely worth my acknowledgement.
After all, I was very familiar with him sighing in my presence. It was pretty much our primary means of communication.
“You still can’t garden in those shoes,” I said, looking at his feet once more.
“This is the problem with city people. What, you think sandals are acceptable for this? Do you want my chicken to shit on your feet? Or cut your toe on a sharp stone? What about brambles? They’ve got thorns, you know.
There’s also a chance I’ll accidentally stab you with my fork. ”