26. ZANE
ZANE
The moment I have been waiting for and working hard toward the past four years is finally here. Ironically, I’m back in the same city that took away my career in the first place—Austin.
To be honest, I could have done this three years ago, gotten back on the bull, but something was always holding me back. What has pushed me to do this now, you may ask? The return of a certain beauty who is currently gazing at me with those sea-green eyes laden with fear and anxiety.
I reach out and smooth the crease on her brow with my thumb. She forces on a smile as her face relaxes.
“Are you nervous?” she whispers, caressing my cheek.
Unquestionably.
“No.”
“Scared?”
Extremely.
“No.”
“Horny?” she teases with a cheeky grin.
I chuckle as I nod and give her an Eskimo kiss. “With you around? Always,” I rasp out, grabbing her waist and bringing her closer.
“Ew, guys, TMI,” Ella, who is standing behind Ava, exclaims.
I was so lost in my girl’s charms that I forgot that we have people around us.
“Go away then,” Ava dismisses her.
She rolls her eyes at us but doesn’t budge.
With our teasing mood ruined, I notice Ava’s countenance darken just before she utters words that absolutely shatter me.
“If not for me, you wouldn’t be needing this comeback,” she whispers.
And those words are one of the biggest reasons for my doing this. I came to learn that Ava blames herself for the accident, even though that couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Hey, no, we already talked about this. What happened was not your fault. It was just an accident that I blame no one for. You need to stop thinking like that,” I demand.
“I’m sorry,” she apologizes, bowing her head in shame.
“What did we say about that word?” I scold, pinching her nose playfully.
She manages a small smile but can’t hide the fact that she’s entranced by one of the scars on my arm that was a result of the accident.
I’m hoping that my prevailing today will bring with it healing for myself, my family, and my girl. We need to put the accident behind us, once and for all. The only way to do so is to prove that the accident didn’t take anything from us but the five years we lost that we are already making up for.
“Hey, look at me...” I nudge her, tilting her face up to meet my eyes. “I’m going to be okay.”
“You better be,” she asserts.
She finally awards me with a genuine smile that brings more color to her face.
I’m glad that she’s finally getting back to her old self—eating well, sleeping better, gaining weight, and laughing a lot more.
Her messed-up family threatened to undo what I’ve been working so hard toward rebuilding when they showed up at the rec center, but things didn’t work out in their favor.
Ava actually stood up to her mother, and I was all too happy to deal with Estevan.
After what I did to him, let’s just say he’s going to need a really good plastic surgeon to reconstruct his face.
What matters to me is that Ava is safe from them and she never has to worry about them again—that is, if they want to keep breathing.
Jace, Daisy, and my father, who had gone to get drinks, join us. The events are yet to commence, and even though I should be inside with the other riders, I’d rather be out here with my family.
“Ready to bring back glory to our family name?” Jace teases as he hands Ava a bottle of water.
She thanks him with a smile and hands it to me to open it for her.
“What do you think?” I scoff, handing the open water bottle back to Ava.
“I love how you’re always coming up with new ways to test our family,” my sister, who seems to have been simmering for a while, speaks up.
“Ella!” Ava scolds.
“What? It’s true. Nobody is forcing him to do this—he has nothing to prove. We all know how good he is, so what’s the point of all this?!” she exclaims, clearly frustrated.
“Was,” I correct.
“What?”
“Was good. I want to prove that I’m good now,” I explain.
“And you’re willing to die while doing so? What if you break your back again? Or worse, die? Why are you being so selfish?” she cries, smacking me on the arm.
Before she does it again, I let go of Ava to take her hand in mine. “Hey, El...” I call out as gently as I can.
She stops trying to hit me and calms down. “What?”
“I’m going to be okay. Have some faith in your big brother,” I calmly assure her.
“I hate you for doing this,” she grumbles.
“And I love you. I’m going to make you proud.”
“If I’m proud of you now, will you not do it?” she asks hopefully.
“No.”
“Then you are not doing this for me—you’re doing it because you are a self-centered asshole who only thinks about himself,” she scolds, back to attacking me.
I get where she’s coming from. Just like Ava, I know that she blames herself for the accident as well since she was the one to beg me to drive her to the concert.
But it was just a freak accident, and I need everyone around me, including myself, to stop carrying blame for something that could not have been avoided.
“El...”
“Save it. I know I can’t talk you out of it, so you better come out of there the same way you walked in—alive and with no broken bones,” she demands.
“I will. I promise.”
“Good luck.”
“Thank you.”
A loud announcement lets me know that my moment is finally here. I turn to Ava and pull her back into my arms.
“You’re gonna do great out there,” she encourages.
“I know I will, but what do I get if I win?”
Her brow lifts at the mischief in my voice. “What do you want?”
“You.”
“You already have me.”
Marry me?
I think it, but I don’t say it. It’s the wrong time and place to be proposing.
Ava deserves better than a rushed-out proposal just because I’m scared I might not walk out of that arena.
As a matter of fact, if I do, my next stop is the jewelry store to buy a ring worthy of Miss Diva and propose right.
“A promise. I’ll let you know what it is after.”
“Whatever it is, it’s yours.”
She leans up on her tiptoes and kisses me.
I’ve reassured Ava, gotten a scolding from Ella, a good luck kiss from Daisy. Jace is a man of few words like me, so an encouraging nod is all I get from him. The only one left is my father, but he doesn’t say anything because I know he’ll be with me at the bucking chute.
I let our kiss last a few seconds longer before I detach myself from Ava and walk away.
After selecting my bull by pulling his name out of a hat, we all head back inside for the competition to start. I end up getting a beast named Titan, who has thirty-four consecutive buck-offs, and I do not intend to be the thirty-fifth.
The wait for my turn is torturous, but I’ve been anticipating this moment for five years—it’s now or never. Finally, my name is called upon and I climb onto the bucking chute just as Titan is urged into it. My father is right there, a proud look on his face.
“It’s just eight seconds, son—eight seconds. You’ve prepared hard enough, now go out there and prove yourself,” he asserts.
Growing up, I always knew that I wanted to be a bull rider and follow in my father’s footsteps. He is one of Pbr’s greatest legends. He retired when Ella was born to focus more on our family.
When he noticed my interest in taking after him, he trained me personally and made me a great bull rider like him. My other siblings have all participated in different rodeo events at one time or another, but bull riding was always my thing with our father.
When the doctor announced that I would never be able to ride again, I saw the light fade in his eyes. I had failed him, taken away our dream. Today, however, I get the chance to prove to myself and my family once again that I can do this—for me, for them.
“Eight seconds,” I affirm.
With a nod from him, I mount Titan and he begins bucking immediately. I remain calm as I secure a good grip on the rope.
Eight seconds—I just have to remain mounted on him for eight seconds. Of course, there’s more to it than remaining seated on an animal that almost weighs a ton. I need to remain forward at all times without touching the animal, myself, or my equipment with my free hand.
I will be judged for good body positioning, including free arm and spurring action. Half the score will be determined by my performance, and the other half is based on the bull’s efforts.
Knowing I cannot delay this any longer, I nod to signal that I am ready, and the bucking chute is opened. Titan storms out into the arena and my countdown begins. I silence all the noise around me as I concentrate on staying seated while this two-thousand-pound animal tries to buck me off.
Eight
This is against nature itself, dangerous beyond words, but I have never felt more alive.
Seven
I was born for this. I can do this.
Six
For myself. My family and my girl.
Five
Five years of overcoming my fear, training till I bled.
Four
This is it! There is no coming back from this.
Three
Two
One
The bell goes off and... I did it! I can’t believe that I actually did it! The crowd goes wild as I jump off the bull. While the bullfighters handle Titan, I take off across the arena with one destination in mind.
She already has her arms open wide for me as I jump over the barrier and pull her into my arms like my life depends on it.
“I am so proud of you,” she whispers when we pull apart, tears swimming in her eyes.
“I love you,” I confess, taking off my hat and placing it on her.
“And I love you more,” she cries harder, launching herself at me.
I guess I have no choice but to buy that ring now.