33. AVA
AVA
The doctor hands me a box of tissues to clean my stomach with just as Lou comes back into the room, having concluded her call.
“How is she?” she asks the doctor.
I finish up and lower my shirt before sitting up.
“Everything looks good—the baby is healthy and so is mom,” Dr. Swan replies with a kind smile.
I landed in LA yesterday, and the first thing I wanted to do was check on my baby. Lou nearly had a coronary when I told her I was pregnant, but after she recovered, she was quick to help me find a good OB-GYN to help me on this motherhood journey.
“So, what’s next?” Lou inquires.
“I’ll prescribe some prenatal vitamins for her. Are you having any morning sickness?”
“No,” I answer.
“You’re lucky, but I’ll prescribe some anti-nausea meds as well, just in case. Don’t take them if you don’t have to.”
“Okay,” I nod in understanding.
She writes the prescription, gives me a few pamphlets to answer some questions, recommends a few pregnancy and parenting books, and we set up our next appointment.
“Thank you so much, Dr. Swan,” Lou thanks her as she walks us out of her office.
“And thank you for choosing me to be your doctor. I’m a huge fan, so rest assured that you are safe with me,” she replies.
We shake hands and leave her office, Lou being sure to slap a cap and sunglasses on me even though this is a private hospital that only caters to the elite, so nobody really cares about me.
After filling our prescription at the pharmacy, she leads me out of the hospital and into the waiting car.
On the drive back home, I cannot take my eyes off the sonogram. My little pebble. It’s so small, and to think it’ll keep growing bigger until it’s a whole baby. Zane and I created a life together. I got to hear my baby’s heartbeat, and it made me sad that Zane wasn’t there to experience it with me.
Zane... oh, how I miss him. It has been less than forty-eight hours since we’ve been apart, and I miss him like crazy. Leaving him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do—I almost changed my mind dozens of times—but I knew it was necessary to keep him alive.
“Are you really not going to tell him?” Lou questions.
I smile sadly and shake my head. “For now, no, but I will soon, once all of this is sorted,” I assure her.
“You know I always support you in all you do, but if you ask me, this was a dumb move,” she scolds.
“I know, but it was the only thing I could think of,” I sigh dejectedly.
“Then you should have thought harder instead of running away,” she asserts.
I turn to her with a glare, not appreciating the tone she’s using on me. She raises her hands in surrender, and we fall silent for a few more minutes before she speaks up again.
“You know, when you told me you were pregnant, I thought you were joking,” she says, taking the sonogram pictures from me.
“Wrong time for a joke, don’t you think?” I retort as I reach for a bag of chips from the snack basket in front of me.
“My mistake. But don’t worry—no matter what you decide to do, I’ve got your back,” she assures me.
“Thank you, Lou.”
“Can we stop by a drive-through and get something to eat? I’m hungry,” I request when I realize that the chips aren’t doing it for me.
“It’s good to see you eating.”
“Food is the last thing I want, but I can’t starve my baby.”
She nods in understanding, instructing the driver on where to go. We end up getting Chipotle, and it turns out to be really good.
“While you’ve been on break, I’ve had to turn down a lot of work. Now that you’re here, can I start setting up gigs again?” Lou asks me as we drive back home.
“Yes, I might as well work while I’m here. I need to do something before I drive myself crazy.”
“That’s good—I’ll get to work on that. Even though it’s not under the most ideal circumstances, it is good to have you back,” she says, smiling at me.
I give her a halfhearted thumbs-up in response.
LA always felt more like home than Texas ever did, but now I’m not so sure anymore. My body is here, but I left my heart in Texas, in a small cabin on a big ranch.
When we get to the hotel, the chauffeur gets the door for me while Lou handles my stuff. I stumble as I get out of the car, and Joel, the chauffeur, steadies me.
“Are you okay, Miss Ramirez?”
“I’m okay, Joel. Thanks,” I answer with a tight smile.
He lets go of my arm just as Lou joins me with my things.
“Thank you,” I appreciate her and move to take them away from her, but she stops me.
“I got them,” she assures me.
“You’re not riding up with me, are you?” I question.
“What do you think?” she retorts, leaving no room for argument as she moves toward the elevators.
I give in and follow her. The reason I’m staying at a hotel instead of the penthouse is because I had a panic attack the minute I tried to set foot in it.
I couldn’t get the images of what Estevan did there out of my mind.
Just like everything he’s ever touched, that is ruined too, so there’s no way in hell I’d keep living there.
Lou set me up in this hotel as we house hunt for a new place. It sucks that I have to look for a new house—I loved the penthouse, but it’s tainted now.
The hotel room is actually a suite, so I head straight for the bedroom, leaving Lou to whatever brought her up in the first place.
I take a shower and change into fresh clothes before getting in bed. Just as I’m dozing off, Lou barges in, holding her phone out toward me.
“It’s Ella.”
“I don’t want to talk to her,” I reply, burying myself deeper into the bed. My phone has been off since I boarded the plane, and I have yet to switch it on.
“Well, you don’t have much of a choice—she has threatened to release sensitive information about you to the public if I do not get you on the phone,” Lou insists.
I scoff at the empty threats. “She’s bluffing. El would never do that.”
“I am not willing to risk it, so here—talk to her,” she demands, taking my hand and slapping the phone into it.
It rings again, and Lou glares at me until I pick it up. My hands are shaking as I do because I know this is not going to end well.
“El,” I whisper, bracing myself for the tongue-lashing that is sure to come.
She doesn’t disappoint.
“Ava Noa Ramirez. You promised me. We said no more secrets, and you broke our pact,” she admonishes.
“I’m sorry, El.”
“No note, not even a text message—what the hell do you take me for?”
“El—“
She continues to chew me out. “Do not ‘El’ me. Do you know how worried we all are?”
“How is he?” I ask, fearing the answer.
“Do you really want me to answer that? If you cared, you wouldn’t have left in the first place. Now everyone is angry and disappointed, including Daisy—you’re going to miss her recital,” she reminds me.
Oh God! Daisy—I forgot all about that.
“I’m sorry, El. I really am. Trust me, this is for the best,” I insist.
“If you’re doing this because of your family, then you better come back now—they have been dealt with,” she informs me, and I sit up at this news, nearly startling Lou, who is seated at the edge of the bed.
She gives me a questioning look, so I put the call on speaker. “What do you mean?”
“Zane asked Ryder to hunt them down since the police were taking too long. He got them to confess, and now they’re in jail,” she explains.
My whole body sags in relief at this news. I’m finally free—I don’t have to fear them anymore.
“Will you come back now?” she asks.
I hesitate. “No.”
“Why not?” she demands, getting angry all over again.
“Thank you for calling me, El, and telling me all this. I’m so sorry—please take care of yourself. Tell Zane I’m sorry.” I hang up and toss the phone back at Lou. “If she calls, do not pick up again.”
“Are you going to tell him now?” she asks, referring to the baby.
“No, I’m too scared that he’s angry at me,” I answer honestly.
“Ava—“
“I’d like to be alone, please.”
She gives me an unhappy look before leaving the room, closing the door behind her.
I’m happy that my mother, her husband, and his son have been caught, and I hope they get to pay for what they did to me and Zane. But now that I think about it, I’m too scared to go back because of how I left in the first place—that wasn’t very kind of me.
Maybe soon I’ll find the courage to go back to him. But for now, I’m ready to do this alone and be a single mom.