30. Baby Daddy To Be
CHAPTER THIRTY
BABY DADDY TO BE
Payne
Knowing my father was released from prison is one thing.
Not knowing where he is might make my head explode.
This is the first Saturday I haven’t gone straight to my office since I moved back to take over Deacon Financial.
It was a late night because of their show at The Speakeasy, but an even later one for Ruby and me.
Sadie is off for the weekend at her daughter’s house.
Blake and Alice just walked out the back door to go for a walk so Alice could get her steps in.
She’s also taken to watering the flowers and asked if she could plant some vegetables.
I told her she can do whatever she wants. That’s happening next week.
I slide eggs from a skillet onto two plates and pass Ruby the butter for her toast.
She looks from her breakfast to me. “When did you learn how to cook?”
I put the skillet in the sink. “This is hardly cooking. And don’t forget I spent a decade without Sadie. I had to survive somehow. I can’t maintain my summer bod eating takeout every day.”
She forks a bite of eggs into her mouth and raises her mug of steaming coffee at me. “Thank you for that. Your summer bod has not gone unappreciated.”
I lean down and press my lips to the top of her head before I sit next to her at the kitchen island to eat when I hear the needle scratch across the record, stealing all my joy.
“Payne! Where the hell are you? Payne!”
My mom.
I checked on her before we came down for breakfast like I always do. She was passed out on her sofa. I did my usual—made sure she was still breathing and left her be. That was thirty minutes ago.
It sounds like she woke up in a mood, which means she has more energy than normal. I fight every instinct to rush her back up to her room so Ruby doesn’t have to experience the ugly side of living here.
I might help hide my mother’s vices from the rest of the world, but Ruby isn’t going anywhere. Ever. There’s no point in trying to hide the random outbursts that happen within the walls of this house.
“Payne!”
Ruby’s eyes flare as my mother’s irate tone gets closer.
I give her shoulder a squeeze before I answer. “We’re in the kitchen.”
It takes another few moments for her to make her way in, and she holds onto the wall as she rounds the corner. She looks exactly like she did when I checked on her a bit ago—like hell ... only conscious.
Her gaze settles on Ruby before she focuses on me. “She’s still here?”
I cross my arms. “Yes. So are Alice and Blake. They aren’t going anywhere. Get used to it. It would be nice if you could not be rude.”
Mom does her best to stand straighter, which she rarely does so I’m sure it’s to save face and pretend she’s not the mess she’s turned into. “I can’t find my phone.”
I don’t respond.
“I never take it out of my room. It’s gone.” Her words run into each other and come out slow, until it looks like she has an epiphany and points at Ruby. “They took my phone! One of them took my phone!”
Ruby’s fork hits her plate.
I put a hand up to Mom to stop the nonsense. “They didn’t take your phone. I did.”
Mom lets go of the wall and takes two steps into the kitchen. “Why would you do that? Give it back!”
I shake my head. “I’m not giving it back. At least not yet.”
Her face reddens. “I’m your mother! You might’ve taken over everything else, but you can’t control me. Give it back.”
“Oh, I know I can’t control you. I’ve tried.”
“Give me my phone now,” she demands.
I tip my head. “Why? Are you running low on alcohol? Do you need to make an order?”
She moves forward another two steps, like she’s any type of threat to me. “Don’t you judge me—”
“Payne.” Ruby interrupts and stops Mom in her tracks. “You need to tell her.”
Mom glares at Ruby. “Tell me what?”
Ruby touches my arm. “She deserves to know, and she needs to hear it from you.”
The grace Ruby gives my mother after the way she’s been treated by my family proves she’s an angel on earth.
I turn to Mom and prepare for the worst. “Dad was released from prison.”
She stumbles back like I struck her. “What?”
“It happened the day before last, but I just found out last night. He must have been given a favor by one of his crooked politician buddies, because he got a pardon.” I watch Mom as she takes in the news.
I have no idea what to expect. Dad’s prosecution did her in.
It pushed her over the edge from being a social alcoholic to diving headfirst into her addiction.
“I came into your room last night to take your phone in case he tries to contact you. I don’t want you to have to deal with him. ”
She forgets all about her phone. “He’s out? Is he coming here?”
I shrug. “I have no clue where he is. But he is not welcome here. I won’t allow it.”
“Maybe you should sit down, Tallie,” Ruby suggests.
Mom unceremoniously plants her ass on a barstool as she stares off into space. “What does this mean? Will things go back to the way they were?”
“Fuck no.” I rein it in and try to keep my cool. “It means nothing for you or me. If I had my guess, he’ll probably try to get back some of his old clients. If they return to him, so be it, but it would be a bad move on their part. Their margins are up because of me. Every single one of them.”
Her bloodshot eyes wander to me, and her words come out in a haunted whisper. “He’s going to come back. He has nowhere else to go.”
I wrap my hand around Ruby’s. “There’s too much at stake. I won’t allow it.”
“I ... I don’t know what to do.” She runs her fingers through her hair like she’s trying to fix herself up for Dad’s dramatic homecoming. She looks up, and all I see are years of hurt scrolling through her head like an old movie reel. “What do I do?”
I let go of Ruby to go to her. I lean down to get in her face and force myself to ignore the stench. I’ve made this plea so many times throughout the years—before Dad was convicted and after. I’ve all but given up.
But this could be my opportunity. I have to go for it.
“If he comes here, I’ll deal with him. In the meantime, let me send you somewhere to get help. Prove to everyone that he didn’t break you. I’ll protect you from him, but I need you to do this. Do it for my future family.”
Her eyes flare. Her expression in her yellowing complexion falls. “Your family?”
“Yes.” I stand straight and turn to look into Ruby’s eyes. I’m not sure this could have played out worse, but I started it, so I need to finish. “Ruby and I are getting married and starting a family as soon as it happens.”
Mom gasps.
Ruby smiles. It’s small but I see it in her soul.
It’s a big, fat fucking yes to the shittiest marriage proposal in history.
I look back to the woman who is so far from perfection when it comes to anything, but especially anything maternal. She was selfish and weak and did nothing to protect me from my father.
But I’m not her. “The best thing you can do is prove that he didn’t break you.
I proved it by coming home and running the business he built, and I do it better than he ever could.
I took his house and vowed to live a life better than he did.
The least you can do is try. If you don’t do it for yourself or to get back at him, then do it for me. ”
She shakes her head and tears form in her eyes. “I don’t think I can. I’m not like you. I’m not good or strong.”
I continue to push her. Challenge her. “You have no idea unless you try. Commit to a month. I know where to take you. Hell, I researched places years ago. While you’re there, I’ll figure out what Dad is doing. He won’t be able to find you, let alone get to you.”
She puts her elbows to the marble, and her face falls to her hands.
“You can do this, Tallie,” Ruby says. “My mom ran away when I was twelve and never came back. But you’re here. It’s never too late for a mother to be a mom. Do it for Payne.”
Mom presses her trembling fingers into her eyes so hard, they turn white.
When I put my hand to her back, she trembles. “Try. That’s all you have to do. Just try.”
She nods.
It’s small, but it’s there.
It rocks my world.
My gaze shoots to Ruby. Her expression is as surprised as I feel.
I refuse to let Mom change her mind. “It’s settled. I’ll make the call. Go get cleaned up. I’ll pack your things.”
Her hands fall from her face, and she looks up at me through eyes more bloodshot than normal. “I’m scared.”
She should be. Hell, I am too. But I’m not about to tell her that. “It’s one of the best facilities on the West Coast. I wouldn’t send you anywhere but the best. I trust them to take care of you.”
She nods and stands on weak legs. “I’ll try. I can’t promise anything more.”
I put my hand to her back. “I’ll walk you up and start packing.”
As I usher my shuffling mother out of the kitchen, I glance back at Ruby. She brushes a tear from her cheek and mouths I love you.
I don’t know what the fuck kind of rollercoaster the big guy upstairs buckled me into, but it’s knocked me on my ass more than once. This is no different. I need this to happen.
I thought waking up every morning to see if she drank herself to death in the next room would be my life until it became a reality. This is something I stopped allowing myself to hope for a long time ago.
I’m damn sure not going to let her change her mind now.
Ruby
Blake turns to me where we stand at the end of the bar after he slams a Diet Coke. “It seems slow for a Saturday. I guess not every night can be like last night.”
We just finished our first set. I down a glass of water and set it on the bar next to Dean. “You look bored without your best friend.”
“You know I like a live show as much as the next guy, but I was here last night. This feels like high school all over again when Payne used to force the football team to attend the musicals in shifts so there’d be students in the audience.”
I smile at the memory of my high school performances. “I didn’t know he did that.”