17. Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
Three weeks later.
R owan stopped outside her condo building, leaned over and huffed to catch her breath. Jogging in The Haight meant hills. Lots of them, which kept her in great shape but also wore her out. Right now, exhaustion was the only thing that felt good. To stop thinking. Stop her heart from breaking, as it did all over again each morning when she woke up after only a few short hours of sleep. Knowing she’d lost the bid of her life. A bid for love.
She’d quit her job before her boss could fire her. Emersyn had tried hard to talk her into staying, but she couldn’t. To see him every day and know he was untouchable, that he thought her a traitor? She couldn’t see that day in and day out. It was hard enough knowing in her heart that he didn’t trust her. She would never get over him, and she needed to. There was more to life than Gerard Barrett. Now why couldn’t she convince her heart of that?
Three long weeks had passed since Rowan turned over all her research to Emersyn. Thank God, Emersyn believed her and took it all directly to Gerard. That very night, Emersyn begged Rowan to let her tell her brother who found Wentworth and the proof.
Rowan refused. If he couldn’t figure out on his own what kind of person she was, she had no intention of helping him. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that any shot at a relationship with him had been and remained nothing but a pipe dream. By now, he had to realize his assumption about her was wrong, yet he hadn’t come to see her, called, or done anything in the way of an apology. Was that stubborn pride, or did he really not have feelings for her? Either way, she needed to let this go and move on with her life.
She’d read in the paper that Silverman and Wentworth had both been arrested. Silverman had posted bail, of course. Michael was still in jail. She’d been dumbstruck when she figured out he’d been the one manipulating the funds. Rowan had counted him as a friend, had trusted him.
Sinking onto the porch steps, she stretched her legs out. Michael had wormed his way into her good graces to continue his sabotage. He’d even used Linda’s computer to take suspicion off him. How had she not seen through his ruse?
“Still haven’t come to terms with it all, have you?”
Rowan glanced up at the voice, then stood. “Mom, this is a nice surprise.”
“Yes. I suspected you were wallowing in depressing thoughts, so I came to cook you dinner. I’m glad to see you’ve been jogging.” Her mother leaned in for a moment. “Though I think you might want to shower while I start dinner.”
“All right,” she said with a small chuckle. “I won’t hug you until I’m clean. Come on up.” She grabbed the bag in her mother’s hand and opened the front door.
Halfway up the stairs to her third floor condo, her mother stopped. “When are they going to put an elevator in here?”
“I hope never. And you’re in better shape than I am. At least, that’s my impression.”
They started to climb again. “I take good care of myself, but that doesn’t mean three floors of stairs is something a fifty-nine year old woman loves to do.”
Rowan stopped and stared at her mother. “You never say your age out loud.”
“Well, maybe it’s time. I’m getting tired more. Maybe I need to act my age.”
In spite of her mother’s earlier suggestion, she hugged her. “If you do, I’m going to start looking for old folk homes for you. You keep me young with all you do. I am in awe.”
Her mother hugged her back. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m nowhere near ready to start designing my gravestone. I’ve a few good years left in me.”
They trudged up the final flight. At the door to her condo, Rowan turned to her mother. “You’re okay, right? Nothing going on healthwise?”
“Nothing at all.” Her mother patted her cheek. “Just got my annual clean bill of health.”
Relief filled her. “Good, because you’re my rock.” She opened the door, and they went inside.
“I kind of hoped you’d found a second rock, a new foundation to build on.”
“Nope. He wasn’t the one,” she answered with clipped words, hoping her mother would let that subject go.
Rose touched Rowan’s cheek gently, as if wiping long-dried tears away. “He’s the only one you’ve lost sleep over. And the only one you’ve ever cried over.”
Covering her mother’s hand, she drew it away from her cheek. “On that note, I’m going to take a shower.”
“And I’ll start the crispy chicken salads and breadsticks.”
“Yum. See you in a bit.”
In her bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. The circles under her eyes had dug in and didn’t seem to want to leave anytime soon. If she could get one good night’s sleep, maybe she’d get the edge on them. But every time she lay down in bed, she remembered the other bed. In the adorable A-frame nestled in the Colorado mountains. With a man who energized her both mentally and physically.
God, she needed to get past this. Get a new job, move on with her life.
She climbed in the shower and let the warm spray wash away the guilt, the pain, everything. Imagined it all going down the drain. She got out of the shower and dried off and looked at herself in the mirror as all the negative thoughts came tumbling back.
A new job. That’s what she needed to focus on, except she didn’t want a new job. She wanted her old one. And she wanted Gerard. Still.
She was a basket case in every sense of the word. Throwing on some clothes and her best I’ll be fine face, she joined her mother.
Over dinner, they talked about jogging, the weather, even politics, which they thankfully agreed on for the most part. Rowan tidied up while her mother sipped a cup of coffee.
“You aren’t a quitter.”
Rowan gripped the edge of her farmhouse sink as Rose’s words speared her through the heart. “Geesh, Mom, don’t mince words.”
“I’m only saying what I see and what you’ve thought. You shouldn’t have quit Barrett.”
Those same words had been stuck in her brain ever since she left. “How can I work there when he—he doesn’t trust me. He was going to fire me anyhow.”
“You don’t know that.”
Rowan turned around and leaned against the sink, drying her hands. “It was made pretty clear.”
“Then fight. For your job. For him.”
Sinking into the chair next to her mother, Rowan’s fingers danced around the edges of the towel. “I’ve thought about this a lot.” She looked up at her mother, having lowered her guard enough to allow her mother a glimpse of her pain. “I—I don’t think I have the energy for this. I’m wiped out in every way. And I’m not sure if I did dispute Gerard’s beliefs about me, and he shot me down again, that I’d ever get over it. Besides, it’s too late. That department needs a manager day in and out. I’m sure someone’s been hired. And Gerard made his feelings quite clear.”
Rose took the towel from Rowan and cupped her hands between her own. “You don’t give yourself enough credit for strength, daughter. And you will never know what’s possible if you don’t try. Do you want to live your life always wondering about what ifs?”
“Not really.” A spark, centered in the vicinity of her heart, jolted her. A spark of hope. Could she do this? Walk into Barrett Investment and fight for herself? Gerard thought the worst of her. When the going got rough, he didn’t believe in her enough to even hear her out. The spark within her died again. That was why she’d told Emersyn to make it seem the research came from her. She didn’t think he would’ve listened otherwise.
Rose released her hands and sat back for a long moment before speaking again. “Have you heard Murdoch Financial is in trouble?”
Grateful for the change of subject, she got up and poured herself a cup of coffee, holding the carafe out to her mother who put a hand over her own cup. It gave Rowan a moment to think about her answer.
“I heard they’ve been having some issues. Nothing worse than what Barrett’s been going through, except Murdochs are self-made, in my opinion.” She glanced at her mother. “Sorry. I know Finn’s the primary decision-maker there these days.”
“Yes, he is, and his choices have not been good ones of late.”
Rowan sat back down at the table, chewing her lip, trying to decide how honest she should be.
“Don’t mince words. I value your opinion. And my son is turning into the same kind of ass his father is.” She grimaced. “I should have pulled him out of that company long ago, and that’s on me. Is there any chance Finn had something to do with the Barrett Investment Group issues?”
“I didn’t find any ties to Finn. Besides, if we prove that Finn is involved, it will decimate Murdoch Financial. I don’t think I can do that, even for my own future.”
“You let me worry about Murdoch Financial. What’s your gut telling you? Be honest.”
Her mother and father had been divorced for years. Rowan didn’t think Rose had any sway in that company, so what did she mean?
She sipped her now cold coffee. “You know that Silverman is behind the attempted coup at Barrett, right?” That was in all the papers, so it was common knowledge.
“Sure.”
“Well, I never figured him for kingpin brains. I mean, he wants to be the big boss, but I never thought he had the brains for it. I never found proof, but I wondered if someone was pulling his strings.”
“Someone like Finn?”
The flush of heat filled her cheeks. “Like I said, I have no proof. Just a feeling.”
“I’ll trust your gut any day. And I’ve been wondering if the time has come to do something about the mess at Murdoch.”
What did her mother mean by that? She didn’t have time to think it through as Rose continued.
“How can we prove Finn’s involvement?”
“We’d have to get Silverman to point the finger at him. Or…” She drummed her fingers on the table. “Finn never does anything without a CYA clause. If he was the puppeteer behind these machinations, he’d have something on Silverman. Either something to blackmail him with or some proof—probably false—that showed Silverman was the ringleader.”
“And if he had something like that, it would be in a secure location.”
“Like his safe at home.”
Rose stood. “I need to pay Emily a visit.”
Finn’s wife, sweet and completely focused on their two children, wasn’t one to spout family secrets. She kept things very close to the vest, and the outside world knew only the loving family. Rowan and Rose had seen the hidden bruises and begged Emily to take the kids and leave.
“She wouldn’t leave Finn when we begged her to. She’s not going to give you access to Finn’s safe.”
“Oh, you never know what will convince someone to do the right thing. I’m going to try again.”
“Good luck with that. I think I’ll go back through everything and see if I missed anything. Maybe talk to Emersyn and pull her into this. I’d, umm, have to tell Emersyn about our suspicions, though.”
“You go right ahead. It’s time to break this festering wound wide open. Barrett and Murdoch should be working together, not at odds with each other.”
Rose kissed her cheek, then with a whispered, “This will all work out, dear,” she was out the door and down the stairs like a teenager.
She watched her until she was out of sight, then closed the condo door. Murdoch and Barrett working in harmony? For a person who had divorced herself out of the business, Rose had grand ideas. Grand and impossible. Still, ideas began to gel in Rowan’s mind, and that sneaky hope started her blood pumping again. She grabbed her phone and headed for her laptop. She had work to do.