Chapter 17 #2
“This is all starting to just become too much. When Queen Mother Evelyn told that story tonight, all I could think was that this woman is a badass. And then she talked about how Queen Isobel is this great counterpart to King Leroy and helps him. I can’t be that, I can’t do that.
” Her voice rose. “Then Oliver and I were talking, and he was telling me about the country tour that he would take after the wedding and all of the coronation events. It’s just a lot! ”
My heart cracked witnessing anxiety take over her usually convivial demeanor. How much else is she hiding from the world? “Just take a breath. I think you’re thinking too far into the future right now.”
“And you’re not thinking far enough into the future! I have weeks—weeks, Knox—to decide whether I can move forward with all of this, okay? You don’t understand what kind of pressure that puts me under.”
I did understand the pressure, more than she knew. Oliver wanted me to dedicate the rest of my life to serving at his side, to being his stand-in when he couldn’t be there. It was different but also the same.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know the exact stress you’re under. It’s a big decision that you have to make. You would have to leave your country, your family, your friends to move here and marry Oliver.”
“Yeah!”
“But is he worth it? Is he worth all of this? Is this what you want?” I waved my hand around and then looked at her, really observing her. A slight sheen of sweat was forming along her hairline. “Only you can answer that question.”
She stopped pacing and looked at me like she was dissecting every word I had just said. She cleared her throat and plastered a tense smile on her face. “I think we should probably get back. They’re going to be announcing the winning bids soon.”
“Yeah.” I looked down at her coat in my hands.
I was hoping she would tell me what she was thinking.
If I heard from her lips that she was fully in this, and that Oliver was it for her, I could put these thoughts and wants to rest once and for all.
I needed to hear her say it. But the way she had just masked her emotions told me I wouldn’t be getting my wish tonight.
“Here. Let me help you put your coat on and I’ll walk you back up.” I moved closer and held open the white wool coat.
“Thank you. For everything.” She gave me a soft smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
The closer she walked to me, the more her signature scent of lavender and vanilla filled my nose.
As she turned her back to me, flashes of the dream I’d had flitted across my mind.
I tried not to think of how little strength it would take to pop the buttons off the back of her white dress.
I cleared my throat. “What are friends for, right?”
“Yeah. Friends.” She looked up at me over her shoulder. Her hair fell over her other shoulder, giving me a clear and unobstructed look at her throat. I wanted to taste her skin and make a slow trail of kisses up her neck.
I moved my gaze from her throat to her hazel eyes.
Did she want me to kiss her as badly as I wanted to?
The way that her eyes bore into me made me think yes.
Her eyes roamed from my lips to my eyes.
She turned to face me and set her hand on my chest and fingered the thin black tie around my neck.
She slid her other hand up my pec, stopping over my heart.
I knew she could feel the way it beat hard and erratically because of her.
Birdie brought her eyes back up to mine and when she did, she sucked in that full bottom lip and bit it.
God, I want that lip in my mouth.
I threaded my fingers through her hair at the nape of her neck. I bent down for our mouths to meet, her lips parting, waiting for mine.
A loud bang went off above us. We both jumped back.
“What the fuck was that?” Birdie exclaimed.
I looked up to see blue, green, and white sparks raining down over the glass roof of the greenhouse.
“Fireworks.”
“Of course.” She let out a soft laugh.
“We should get back up there,” I said.
We exited the greenhouse and wended our way through the holly maze and up through the garden as the fireworks continued. I stopped right before the last arch of the red berries. Birdie turned around and looked at me quizzically.
I cleared my throat. “I think maybe you should head up the terrace first and I’ll wait. I don’t want anyone to question you.”
Her brow arched. “What is this, the 1700s? Will my honor and virtue come into question?” She tried to play it off as a quip, but fire laced her tone.
“There is a lot of press here tonight, and we know that they aren’t the best at reporting the truth.
You don’t need them publishing another shit article—and God knows what they would say about Oliver and you.
I wouldn’t want him to question your loyalty to the competition.
Better you just walk the rest of the way by yourself. ”
She considered my words as she looked down at her hands and messed with the lining of her gloves.
“You’re a good man, Knox.” She looked up at me. “He’s so lucky to have a friend like you.”
I nodded. I so badly wanted to grab her hand and walk her those last few yards.
I wanted more than anything to tell her not to continue with all of this.
To move here for me instead. To be with me instead.
But that’s not who I was, and that wasn’t my story.
This was about Oliver’s happily ever after, not mine.
“Ladies and gentlemen, if you would please make your way inside. The results of the auction will be read in just a few short minutes,” the night’s emcee spoke over the loudspeakers.
I grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and downed it in two gulps. I knew I was about to be thoroughly embarrassed when my name wasn’t read, because who would even bid and want to spend time with me?
Absolutely no one.
“Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you,” Oliver asked from behind me.
“The Thornes’ landscaper was showing me the gardens. We were talking about potential plans for spring.”
“Mhm,” Oliver murmured, taking a sip from his glass of champagne.
Vince walked up to us. “Have you guys seen Birdie? Bronson was asking where she went but I can’t find her.”
Shit. Play it cool. I know she’s here; I watched her walk back into the party.
“I talked to her about an hour ago, but haven’t seen her since, now that you mention it,” Oliver answered.
“What about you?” Vince asked.
“Nope. Haven’t seen her,” I lied.
Oliver looked at me quizzically in my peripheral vision. Did he know that I was lying? Had he seen us in the greenhouse somehow? Fuck.
“Damn. I hope everything is okay. Maybe Adelaide has seen her.” Vince looked around the room, scanning each cluster of guests.
“Hey, guys.” I heard her beautiful soprano voice.
“There you are!” Vince said. “I was getting worried; I couldn’t find you.”
“Sorry. I got lost in the garden and just found my way back.” She laughed. “I am not great with directions.”
I could feel Oliver’s eyes drilling into me.
I knew he wanted me to look at him so we could have one of our mind talks, but I wasn’t going to do it.
I sucked at lying to him and I didn’t want him to figure out that I had been in the garden with one of his suitors.
This morning, he’d said that she was a frontrunner.
Yet, just minutes ago, I had made the shitty decision to almost kiss her. I was a bad friend, and I knew it.
A few minutes passed while I gave him the cold shoulder, before he finally gave up and engaged with Birdie as she told a story about how she once got lost driving home from high school.
“Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention,” the emcee spoke from the small stage against the far wall.
“The Thornes would like to thank everyone for attending tonight, with a special thanks to the royal family. Thank you for your generous donations to the Wexstone Community Garden Foundation. Now, without further ado, we will announce what I’m sure you have all been anticipating: the winning bids of the silent auction. ”
“God, I pray that I didn’t get stuck with Renata,” Oliver muttered under his breath.
Vince snorted quietly as I coughed into my fist to suppress a laugh. I had a feeling that it didn’t matter what he wanted; that was exactly who he was going to be spending the following evening with.
As he read down the list, I was taken aback by how much these women had spent to get alone time with the royal family. Sabine, or her family, had spent over one hundred thousand euros on Leroy. I was shocked. Surely that had to be the largest bid tonight.
I was so sure in my assumption as they read off the rest of the list. I was a little surprised when I heard that Adelaide won with her bid of twenty-five thousand euros for Evelyn.
I figured that she would have surely bid on Oliver, but when I heard his name called and how much the winning bid was, I knew that there was no way that Adelaide could have won even if she did bid.
“And with a winning bid of two hundred and fifty thousand euros for Prince Oliver: Renata Raines.”
“Holy shit,” I whispered.
“You’re kidding me,” Oliver groaned quietly.
Vince clapped him on the back. “Smile, mate. They’re all looking at you.”
Applause filled the room. I couldn’t believe that the Raines family had spent that much money on alone time with Oliver. On second thought, I could believe it, because I knew that the Raineses would do anything to make sure that Renata became queen.
“And that brings us to our final royal family member of the night, Knox Henderson. With a winning bid of one hundred thousand euros, Bernadette Hamilton.”
Birdie let out a small gasp from my right. Her eyes were wide with curiosity as she turned to Vince.
“You spent that much money so I could hang out with Knox?” she questioned.
“No, I most definitely didn’t.” He looked from her to me, studiously ignoring Bronson’s vexed gaze from across the room. “Did you put her name down?” he questioned me.
“No. Why would I do that?” I answered.
Vince puffed his chest slightly. “I don’t know, mate. You tell me.”
My eyes narrowed. “I can’t because I didn’t. How do you think that would look if I put her name down for myself?”
“My thoughts exactly.” He turned back to Birdie. “Honestly, you didn’t put your name down?”
“Look, I love the fact that you think I have that much money, but I don’t. And if I did, I wouldn’t be so worried about being homeless because I could buy a place in Jersey or something.”
“Oi. It's fine,” Oliver interrupted, placing a hand on Vince’s shoulder. “It doesn’t matter who did it. That’s a lot of money for the fundraiser. Think of how many people that’s going to help. This is amazing.”
“Yeah.” Birdie gave a small smile that didn’t fully reach her eyes.
“You guys are friends and will have fun.” Oliver patted me on the back.
“Yeah. We’re friends,” I said, pushing down the twisting guilt in my gut.