8. Chapter 8
Michaela
F itz dropped his head, only slightly, but enough that I felt the turmoil in his heart even from twenty feet away. “This will never be an easy decision. Keeping one of you means losing someone else. Someone who could have been the love of my life.” He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. “That being said, I’ve made my choice.”
I’d been in more pageants than I could count. Though I never went into the big leagues of the nationally broadcasted pageant everyone knew and expected, I’d still managed to pay for most of my college education on the money earned in those arenas. But the difference was, in pageants, you wanted to be in the slowly shrinking group of women on the stage. Every person who left the stage was one less obstacle between you and the win. But this was different. There was only one spot left.
My chances weren’t great.
Breathing slowly, I forced my racing heart to calm down. I focused on the merry boughs of green that surrounded the room, the faint sound of music that played in the background, and not the feeling of pending loss that threatened to overtake me.
“Lady Michaela, please step forward.”
Relief spilled out of me in one long exhale. If I were in pageant land, it would be fully acceptable to cry, laugh, or even squeal, but from watching the others, this was not that kind of atmosphere. In reality, I wanted to pump my fist and yell, “Yes!” at the top of my lungs like I’d just made the winning basket in a game, but also, that was probably frowned on in palace land.
I started to step forward, but a voice halted my steps.
“Are you out of your bleeding mind?“ Lilith took strides toward the prince, finger wagging with all the strength of a Karen out to find a manager. “You chose an American over me ? A true lady of court, one who can trace her lineage back to the origins of the country? You have got to be raving mad at this point to think that—Hey! Get your blinkin’ hands off me!”
Guards wrapped their arms around her, trying to escort her from the room.
“My father will be informed!” Her refined accent had all but vanished as they yanked her from the room. “He won’t be happy. You’ll rue the day, Leonidas! I swear you won’t have—“ Her ranting was cut short by the sound of the doors slamming closed behind her.
I glanced over my shoulder at Fitz, his face more worn and tired than before. What repercussions would he face from the choices he made in this competition? But his gaze locked on mine, and a deep breath of relief followed soon after.
“Michaela?” His outstretched hand beckoned me and I was happy to comply. The warmth of his palm heated my chilled fingers as he took hold of me. “You have traveled the farthest. And maybe your presence looks out of place, but I am definitely interested in getting to know you better.”
“As am I, Your Highness.” A faint flutter in my stomach sent me off kilter. Somehow, I needed to train my body to understand this was Fitz, not a handsome prince who wanted to date me. He was my oldest friend and my confidant. He was… so handsome. Why couldn’t I stop staring at him like a dope? Was it the crown? Was it the uniform with the green sash and the medals that adorned it? Why did I find myself memorizing the angles of his face to remember later, as if I knew that at no point in my life would I ever be as happy as I was in this one?
Because the honest truth was I did look forward to getting to know him better. I knew my Fitz , the one from my childhood and from the letters we’d exchanged for years, but this Fitz, the prince I’d never been willing to believe, I didn’t know him, but I wanted to.
“Michaela,” his smile twitched as though it was hard to say my real name, “will you take this charm as a symbol that your heart is true…”
Check. My heart is here to help you, Fitz.
“… your intentions are pure…”
One hundred percent. I came to help you find a wife, and I plan to do it. Even when it makes you mad.
“… and you are willing to serve the people of Nolcovia as their future queen?”
Uh-oh. I didn’t have a way around that one. I had no intention of being a queen, but of course he knew that. It wouldn’t be a lie, just a roundabout way of thinking. After all, I was here to serve the people in finding the right queen.
I echoed the others who had come before me. “Yes, Your Highness.” I bowed my head to show respect not only for him, but for his country and their traditions. Fitz moved to grasp the last charm from the display. I watched his fingers work the clasp, carefully attaching—
A shriek of rage exploded behind me. The charm slipped from his grasp and hit the floor. I turned to face the sound, completely jarred by the interruption in the ceremony.
One of the contestants I didn’t recognize raised a dagger over her head and surged forward, wild fury burning in her eyes. “Death to the monarchy! Free Nolcovia!”
Fitz seized my waist and pushed me behind him. His hands locked around the display tray that had held the charms. In a swift moment of action, he raised it like a shield in time to capture the blade as it crashed down toward his heart. Wood splintered and cracked as the impact split the wooden base. She raised the knife again. I set my palms to Fitz’s shoulder to shove him out of the way, but guards rushed forward to intercept. More screams split the air. The other nameless contestants drew their own weapons. Chaos exploded to life around me.
“Cut the live feed!”
“Get him out of here!”
Rough hands shoved hard, sending me reeling, and in the next second, I slapped against the marble floor.
“Coco!” His voice came from far off. “Help her!”
“Does anyone have eyes on the king?”
Feet thundered around me, a stampede of fear and worry. I curled into a ball, arms over my head for protection. I was an outsider in this land. No one but Fitz would think to protect me and there was no way they would let him stay in this calamity.
My heart pounded with terror as the screams of revolt continued.
Orders billowed up around me in what felt like a vain attempt to gain control again.
“Left flank! Control the deserters.”
“They’re coming from within!”
“Move the family to the safe room.”
I tightened my grip and stayed small, hoping someone would leave me for dead and I would escape the whole ordeal. But within moments, hands gripped my arms and forced me to my feet. Ready to defend myself, I looked up, worried that same banshee would be staring at me with her dagger pointed at my chest. But Blair surveyed me for injuries as Sadie took my other arm.
“Come on,” Blair nodded for the door, “we need to escape.”
A fight had been quarantined to the opposite side of the hall. It wasn’t only the five women I didn’t know. There were others. As if they’d been waiting for this moment to attack. I stared as my companions yanked me from the room, trying to make sense of the world I’d stumbled into. The moment we stepped free of the hall, the towering doors slammed behind us.
Guards held the remaining women in the open space, debating the next course of action. I searched the crowd of people, spotting Corbin Snyder looking petrified and two producers cowering in the corner.
“Take the ladies to their rooms,” a lead guard instructed. “Dinner is canceled. Food will be waiting.”
Where was Fitz? They’d obviously taken him to safety, but where was that? Had he been hurt in the scuffle? Did he make it out?
I glanced down at the barren bracelet on my wrist. The charm had fallen in the chaos. He’d asked me to stay and I’d accepted, but I didn’t carry the proof. Halfway in, halfway out, not quite belonging. Why did it bother me so much?
Soft hands wrapped around my arm. I turned, feeling like I was back at one of my princess parties and a child wanted my attention. Sadie stared up at me with her wide amber eyes. I wasn’t sure how to calm those fears. The others were already branching off and going in other directions, but no one had come for us.
“Milady,” the guard with silver flecks in his hair caught my free arm with a gentle touch, “if you will.” He motioned to the left and I took a step to follow, Sadie stayed glued to me and I wasn’t about to ditch her. He didn’t seem to care that she was coming. Maybe we were roommates?
We followed the curves of the vacant halls, chill descending from the massive windows. The holiday cheer didn’t expand into our section of the palace. Maybe that was another nod to the fact that no one expected me to stay. I stole a glance at Sadie. She was likely in the same boat.
We stopped before my door because I recognized the massive goat crest at the next curve that waited outside my room. “Lady Martalle, this is your room. Lady Caldwell, you’re the next door down. You’ll find dinner waiting within.” With the slightest dip of his chin, he bid us goodnight.
My heart had finally slowed to a normal pace, but in no way did I feel normal . Sadie’s eyes still darted around, looking for a threat, but that felt like her status quo for the most part. Still, I felt the need to smooth things over.
“That was a lot, huh?”
Okay, understatement of the year. Someone had orchestrated, with very little time for planning, a well thought out scheme to take on the Nolcovian monarchy. A lot didn’t even begin to cover it. Like trying to hold a gaping wound together with a child’s Band-Aid.
Sadie nodded but averted her eyes. Again, not unusual for her, but it still pricked my curiosity enough that I wanted to push more.
“Do you know her?” I took a step back to give her room. Maybe she felt trapped. “The one who went all… cuckoo?”
“Reika,” Sadie answered without prodding. “She’s from the Corswald Province. They all were. Most people from there are peaceful…” She left it hanging there, making me wonder if the rest of the sentence was: But they’re headed toward rebellion.
How bad were things in Nolcovia? Did Fitz have any clue about all this unrest? Or was he caught off guard like the rest of us by the attack?
“Well, she’s gone now.” I meant it as a form of comfort. The threat was over. But it came out darker than I planned. In reality, I didn’t have a clue about what happened to rebels in Nolcovia. “I mean, we’re safe.” I pointed at my door down the hallway. “And we’re neighbors.” I nudged her with my elbow. “And you’re still here.”
“Yes, I am,” her breathy whisper barely punctured the air. She opened the door behind her and stepped inside. “But that wasn’t supposed to happen.”
The door closed before I got the chance to ask her what she meant. Why was she here if not to try to win the prince’s heart? What other purpose did this competition serve?
I walked the rest of the way to my door, pausing once at the sculpted goat head that hung from the wall. Rubbing my palm over his curved horn, I tried to understand the appeal, but maybe you had to be Nolcovian to get it.
As soon as I opened my door, I smelled the food and my stomach clenched with hunger. Dahlia wasn’t waiting for me. A surprise, but my long locks appreciated that she wasn’t around with her scissors. Besides, I could feed and dress myself.
On the bed, a pair of red silk pajamas waited for me, likely a gift. But I’d been low-key freezing since I’d arrived, my jetlag was nearly unbearable, and I just wanted my flannel PJs. Taking a moment, I dug around in my luggage until I found the teal ones with the white snowflakes. I’d rolled up a pair of fuzzy socks inside of them and was almost gleeful as I changed.
In a world of absolute culture shock, it felt good to have something that connected me to home. I took the pins out of my hair and left them on the vanity top in the bathroom. Digging my fingers into my hair, I shook my hair until it came loose and hung a bit wild. What did it matter? No one was going to see me at this point.
Starving, I bit off a hunk of bread from the plate that waited on a side table and melted at the flavor. Carline’s dad sure knew how to bake. Hopefully, he wouldn’t poison the food now that his daughter wasn’t selected.
I frowned. Seriously, I hoped he wouldn’t poison the food…
My bag still laid across the bed, insides spilling out in every direction. I hung my dresses earlier, but everything else still needed to be organized. Strange that I would be in Nolcovia through the holiday. I still hadn’t told Mom yet. Some part of me had assumed Fitz was going to call prank about the time I landed in New York for my layover, but here I was in the country that, for all appearances, was on the brink of a possible civil war.
Merry Christmas?
I took a bite of the creamy soup and groaned. Fitz should have led with the offer of this food. No wonder he didn’t know how to cook.
Two knocks at the door brought my head around.
Did Sadie change her mind? Did she want to talk?
I set the roll on the rim of the bowl and hurried to the door. I pulled it back and frowned, completely surprised.
“What are you doing here?”
Fitz
She wasn’t wearing the pajamas the royal stylist had picked. Instead, she’d opted for flannel pajamas like she wore when we were in high school.
Her fuzzy socks were a nice touch. The palace floors weren’t heated in this wing.
At the ceremony, she wore her hair pinned back, but I preferred it this way. Natural curls that created a haphazard pattern around her head, like an angel’s halo gone rogue. It felt like walking into my past and, after a night like I had, that was a welcome thought.
Coco’s eyes widened as though the implications of my presence in the east wing had just occurred to her. She grabbed hold of my arm and pulled. “What are you doing here?”
I planted my feet and shook off her grip, not in the mood to be told what to do. It was my palace. I would move where I wanted to and see who I wanted to see. While her concern for impropriety was appreciated to a point, I didn’t need it.
“Sorry, Coco, I can’t stay. But I wanted to be sure you were safe. I saw you fall and was powerless to help.” It was good to see her unscathed. As my bodyguards forcibly dragged me from the hall, I had to watch her curl into a ball, defenseless on the ground. In that moment, I didn’t care that I was Crown Prince. My feral need to protect her had nearly taken over. I couldn’t rest until I knew she was safe.
“Sadie and Blair came back for me.”
“Seems my bluff about her character was correct.” It felt like a valid statement, but Michaela’s gaze shifted away, causing me to suspect otherwise. “Or am I mistaken?”
“No,” she quickly brushed it off, “it’s nothing. Jetlag, I’m sure.”
It didn’t appear to be nothing, but I hardly had the energy to stand, let alone press her for answers. Considering the time difference for Michaela, she had to be worse. I jammed my hand into my pocket and removed the charm.
“Also,” I held out the small charm toward her in the palm of my hand, “this was knocked to the floor, but it’s yours.”
Her delicate touch tickled over my open hand, dancing fingertips that woke my senses that sought slumber only moments ago. At the sensation of her touch, my entire psyche sprang to life.
She pinched the silver charm in her fingers to bring it closer to her face. “Of course, it’s a goat.”
“It’s a ram,” I corrected her. Had she forgotten the lore of my country? Had she forgotten the late night I explained the role they’d played in our independence? Granted, back then, she thought I was spinning tales of a world that didn’t exist.
“Are you okay?” Her blue eyes cut into me, stirring my soul with their intensity. “They pulled you out of there so fast, I—“
“Yes.” The incident was the last thing I wanted to talk about. “They did their duty, but in all honesty, I wish they would have allowed me to stay. Clearly, there are grievances and if I could have had a moment to…” I didn’t have the energy to finish. Rubbing a palm over my face, I tried to wipe away my exhaustion, but failed. Instead, I pulled my crown from my head, wishing it was just as easy to turn away from the responsibilities that loomed in my future. “Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own country.”
Michaela took a step backward, but not to escape me. Rather, she meant to open the door wider as an invitation. And what an invitation it was. Crackling fire, food, the twinkling lights and holiday decorations I’d ordered to be installed in her quarters, and, of course, her kind heart always willing to listen.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
How badly I wished to say yes. But to the outside eye, I knew what it would look like, even if it wasn’t close to the truth.
“No, not tonight. I need sleep, as do you.” I felt my heart pulling to ignore all of that and take a few steps forward into her world. “But thank you.”
“Another time?”
“I look forward to it.” Would it be so bad to use the secret passage and double back tonight? Maybe she would surprise me and be waiting in my room when I returned. A prince could dream.
“Goodnight, Fitz.”
It’d been far too long since I’d heard those words spoken aloud. I echoed with the only possible response, surprised by the connection that pulled stronger by the second.
“Goodnight, Coco.”
Her door clicked shut and I turned to walk toward the west wing. A second later, another door clicked shut behind me. I hesitated a moment, concerned.
Was someone listening to our exchange?