21. Chapter 21
Fitz
S team rushed into my nostrils as I breathed deeply. Hot droplets of water poured from four directions and I turned to face the downpour, letting it wash over my face. I’d stayed too long on our outing and not only froze, but I also made myself late for the rest of the obligations I had throughout the day. Thankfully, Reginald pushed back my meeting with the Department of Transportation and moved my lunch with two professionals who wanted to talk about waterway changes for the Gauchian Province. But I still had a meeting with a delegation from Aclusia Province with pressing matters to tend to before the day ended.
Most people assumed my role in government was to wear the crown and wave but in reality, I spent a good deal of time on the infrastructure that made Nolcovia function. My father dealt with laws and policy, but for the last two years, I’d focused on our inner workings, hoping to bring Nolcovia up as a proper player at the world’s table.
Wishing I could stay longer in the steamy shower, but knowing I’d pay for it, I cut the water and sighed. Too many looming decisions waited beyond the shower doors. A vain hope suggested that by never leaving, I could avoid dealing with any of it. But the steam dissipated quickly and, with the chill returning to my body, I opened the door and forced myself to find strength.
Every minute I spent with the women left me torn. Even with nine of them, there wasn’t a weak one in the bunch. In the beginning, it was easier to eliminate options, but every day it became increasingly harder. Tomorrow night, I would have to deny at least one, but honestly, I expected more. It wasn’t in my nature to drag things out. But I still risked sending the wrong one home if I moved in too much haste.
I rubbed a towel over my body, thoughts wandering as I considered my options. Esme still distracted me with her beauty, and today, I’d seen a playful side of her that gave me hope. But stubbornly, I hated the idea of ending up with the one my father had chosen. I paused, feeling the ache of reality. Maybe it was for the best, considering his prognosis. A dying wish to grant.
Blair would be the opposite. For the time being, she was the only one who was safe since I’d given her the next charm on our date. But she was the chauffeur’s daughter and her newly granted nobility didn’t matter, not to my parents. To them, she would always be below my station and unacceptable. Blair challenged me in ways I never expected. Over the years, we’d had conversations, moments in passing, and I considered her a friend, but was it enough?
A frigid blast of air hit me as I pulled back the door and entered my bedroom. I inhaled sharply and strode to my armoire, mind still busy with my choices. Gwen, I still held hope for a chance at the future I’d envisioned, but that hope had dwindled. Eirene, so impeccably intelligent and principled, but not a romantic match for me. Minny, the socialite from Princeborough Province, with her sunshine personality and infectious giggle. I hadn’t spent much time with her, but the day’s adventure left me intrigued.
Chantal, once more had surprised me. Gone was her rigid nature I remembered from our past relationship, and she’d played like a schoolgirl, no boundaries between herself and those considered common. I dressed quickly, wanting to return to the fireplace’s warmth. Something had changed in Chantal. She deserved more time.
Always a wild card, Dagny made me smile. We wouldn’t have love, but I doubted a day would pass that I wasn’t laughing with her as my wife.
That left me with… Michaela. Both palms came up to rub my face, wanting to wipe away the truth that had settled over me in our secret moment. So beautiful. Always selflessly giving up her own gifts for the benefit of others. She’d done it today, claiming Sadie had found the flag, needing her to reap the reward. Perhaps I should have followed the plan. Not that Sadie appeared happy about my kiss. After all, she turned her face at the last second, offering her cheek instead. What was I to think of that?
But Michaela, my sweet Coco, bent to my wishes, eyes closed, lips parted, and if not for the snowy onslaught out of nowhere, I would have learned the taste of her lips. The fact that I didn’t weighed on me.
Of course, it was stupid. If I thought Blair would be a hard sell, Michaela would be impossible. American, not noble by birth, and my mother had despised her from the first story I’d ever told. But I couldn’t help but relive our secret moment.
I lied when I told her I hadn’t meant to throw us down that hill. Desire to have her alone for even a minute had surged within my heart. I understood what had driven Gwen. The need to understand the fire I felt toward Michaela had become almost unbearable. We tumbled faster than I expected, and it was pure luck that an unintentional rock face stopped us. But my hands on her face, my thumb against her lips, testing them to see if she would pull away, that was premeditated. Was it wrong to hope that some part of her had searched for that flag, knowing it would end in a kiss?
I had to see her. Whatever this was between us, it deserved exploration. I meant what I told her. Though she hadn’t started as a true competitor, she’d snuck to the front of the pack. We needed time and privacy to explore our emotions. Not easy with cameras following our every move.
Years ago, my granny had surprised me with a pack of notecards embossed with frogs. Until Coco, Granny was the only one who indulged my love of frogs. Mother found them putrid, Father said they were disease ridden, but Granny said I could act like a proper little boy if needed. It made sense to use one of those cards for something that would enrage my parents if discovered.
I penned the words quickly, then tucked it inside one of the tiny envelopes that came in the set and wrote her name on the front. Reginald would deliver it, leaving the trail limited to only one person.
And he’d kept my secrets for years.
Tucking it in my vest pocket, I set my hands to the double doors and pulled them back. My eyes widened at the sight, shocked I hadn’t heard them enter.
“What sort of ambush is this?” My darting gaze flicked between my parents, seated on my couch near the fire. I narrowed my eyes and stared at my cousin. “And what is he doing here?”
Mother’s mouth tightened in a scowl, not impressed by my show of power and indignation. “We’re here because we care, Leonidas. Your father and I agreed to this… ordeal… as a compromise, but we won’t allow you to make a mockery of the crown.”
“What are you talking about?” I couldn’t fathom the reason for her outburst. Since when was this my idea? She’d practically strongarmed me into doing it.
Bishop cleared his throat and partially blocked his mouth with his hand to hide his words. Foolish, since they could obviously hear him fine. “They saw the footage from today. The jig is up.”
“The jig?” More confused than ever, I shook my head. “What are you talking about? You’re upset we held a snood?”
“Not the snood,” she cut me off.
“Then what?” I’d done nothing to deserve this treatment.
“The other stuff,” Bishop said through clenched teeth, acting as though he was trying to start a ventriloquist act without a puppet. His eyes widened with meaning. “They saw the other side of the hill.”
I didn’t have the luxury of being angry at his unsuccessful effort to save me or how he was exacerbating the situation. Fear clouded my mind, but I forced it from my face. My intention in pulling Michaela over the side of the hill was to seclude us from the cameras, but if I understood Bishop correctly, they’d captured everything.
The way I’d touched her, my need to kiss her, and the longing I employed as I wrapped my arms around her, aching to bring her closer.
They’d seen it.
The entire kingdom might have seen it.
I’d never felt so exposed in my life.
Mother’s face hardened to stone. “Understand this, Leonidas. The American must go.”
“You can’t be serious.” I tried to laugh it off like she was looney. “You read into it, Mother.” I faced the fire, hoping to hide my expression as long as possible. “It was all for show.”
“That was a rousing show,” Bishop agreed, though I didn’t need his help, or whatever this was he was offering. “You had me convinced.”
“You’ll have most of the kingdom convinced once it airs,” Mother tagged on. “We are fortunate that the producers have reserved footage for us, at least for now.”
Her voice filled me with foreboding illness. If she had her way, she would burn it, so it never existed. I cursed my luck that a cameraman had thought to follow. If I had known, I wouldn’t have done something so reckless, but I was powerless to change it.
“She’s leaving, Leonidas.” Mother’s volume rose. “You agreed that if she came, you wouldn’t fall in love with her, and from what I saw today—“
“Let Leo have his fun.” I turned, surprised that my father spoke up. “What does it matter if he has a fling with the American? He won’t marry her. He’s taking the throne about fifteen years early. Shouldn’t he live a bit before he’s anchored down?”
“You’re just chuffed your pick is still in the running.” Mother’s mouth tipped into a frown. “All of mine have gone home.”
“Well,” Father managed a weak smile, “you should have chosen better.”
Before they could get into it, I interjected my opinion. “Nothing happened. We got swept up in the game. Father is right, I can’t marry her and I won’t turn away from the crown. Michaela poses no risk.”
“Besides,” Bishop chose this moment to speak up, “I plan on sweeping her off her feet myself.”
I faced him, unable to hide my horror at the thought. My cousin had the gall to wink like it was some joke. He was the last person on earth I wanted within ten feet of Michaela.
“You’re hardly her type.”
“I don’t know,” he quirked his eyebrow, infuriating me more. “Our last interaction was rather… hot.”
Showing emotion would confirm my mother’s suspicions, so I clenched my jaw and kept my genuine feelings at bay. “Either way, we know I don’t have a future with Michaela, but she’s been helpful in her insider’s role.”
“Helpful?” Mother’s scorn filled the air. Behind her, the door clicked open as Reginald stepped inside with a tray of food. He took one look at the room and reversed his steps. Before he left, I waved him inside as Mother continued her outrage. “She’s convinced you to make common girls into noblewomen. You’ve given away gifts and jewelry, and who knows what else she has planned before she departs?”
I nodded as if I was listening, but it was more for show. She raged on, complaining that Michaela didn’t understand our culture, her station, the government, on and on, but I wasn’t listening. Reginald set the tray on the table, and I nodded to the covered platter. “What is it?”
“Fish head soup, Your Highness.” He waited through my frown, knowing I despised the dish. “I instructed the chef to include extra bread.”
“Good man.” Pulling the envelope from my vest pocket, I extended it toward him without direction. As he took it, his eyes skimmed the name on the front, dubious about my decision as my mother lost her mind over the same woman. His eyes narrowed, questioning the choice. With a slight nod, I issued a silent command.
“What’s that?” Mother paused in her tirade as Reginald started for the door. “What did you hand him?”
I waved her off. “A bit of post. Nothing of concern.”
“This late?” She wasn’t buying it. “Who on earth would you write—“
“Theopald Ginate with the Department of Transportation,” I lied. “I pushed back our meeting today and I wanted to send my apologies.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t believe you.” She turned her wrath on Reginald. “Is he telling the truth? Did he reschedule a meeting today?”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Reginald answered. Thankfully, she’d phrased it in a way that he didn’t have to lie. I swallowed hard, worried that her next question would be to see the envelope in question. It wasn’t a love letter by any means, but any positive interaction, even friendship, would be perceived as a threat.
“Give it here,” she rose and started around the couch, “I want to read it.”
“Blimey, Aunt Mariah.” Bishop exploded to his feet, halting my mother’s mad dash. “No wonder he’s hesitant to be king. You’re still treating him like a child.” He scoffed. “I’m surprised you’re not shoving him out of the way to take the throne.”
To my surprise, my father laughed. “It’s not like she hasn’t asked, mind you. She’s put in her hat more than once, begging me to change the law before I croak.”
“Is that true?” I almost missed the sound of the door closing behind Reginald. “You want to reign?”
She wasn’t so cool when the focus landed her in a less than flattering light. Shifting and sighing, she pinned her lips, then frowned. “It would solve our problems, wouldn’t it? The family would keep the crown, you wouldn’t have to take the throne prematurely, and in all honesty, isn’t it about time?” Mother squared her shoulders. “I would be the first woman to rule Nolcovia, and I would continue your father’s legacy.”
“I’m not even in the ground yet and she’s planning her coronation…” Father meant it like a joke, but it landed heavily. She rushed back to his side, kneeling at his feet as she took his hands.
“My love, you know it’s not what I want. My sole wish is for us to age together, but if losing you is inevitable, wouldn’t it be best to maintain order?”
Was she insinuating that I would breed chaos? I glanced at Bishop, but he widened his eyes as if to warn me to stay quiet. Why would he… wait. He’d planned that perfectly to distract her. Was that possible? Was Bishop actually… helping me?
“Look, Aunt Mariah,” Bishop stuck his hands in his pockets and walked as if the weight of the country didn’t rest on the people who were in the room, “you were looking for a way to endear your people to the crown again, yes? In show business, all drama is good drama, correct?” He looked at me, eyebrows slightly elevated. “How about Leo backs off the American troublemaker?” His stare shifted to Mother where she still kneeled on the floor. “But we keep her around for rating’s sake? I know everyone I’ve talked to can’t believe she keeps making it through the choosing ceremonies. After all, her time rarely broadcasts. We can talk to the producers, bury this footage, and she can keep spying on behalf of the crown, yeah?”
They exchanged a look, but it didn’t surprise me that Father issued his acceptance with a silent nod.
“I don’t want to see you behave like that again. Do you understand me?” Mother’s voice tightened like a noose. “I’ll take matters into my own hands, Leonidas. Don’t tempt me.”
I nodded, so she knew I understood, but in reality, I was already planning my way around it and everything would start the moment Reginald delivered that envelope.