35. Chapter 35
Fitz
T wo days. I couldn’t believe two days had passed.
I rubbed my shaky palm over my mouth as I stared at the saturated earth. It couldn’t be real. It had to be in a nightmare. Nothing could ever be this horrible.
Fourteen dead. Countless wounded. This was the start of my legacy? This was what would become of the Fitzborough line? My subconscious clawed at reality, trying to capture hold on reason, but in my desperation, it all became threads, impossible to control or grasp.
“Leonidas.” Mother’s sharp tone jarred me from my thoughts.
I sniffed and straightened. Years of training left me unable to be anything but regal at the sound of her voice calling me to attention. Even in the remnants of the suit I hadn’t changed in days, I assumed my best stance of power. But she wasn’t convinced.
“Your father’s health is deteriorating. You need to make your choice.” Her piercing eyes stared right through me as if I’d become a ghost. “We don’t have time for these games any longer. You must return to the palace at once.”
My hand dug into my pocket, searching for the silver wire tiara I’d pulled from the dirt. “No. I won’t leave yet. Rescue attempts are still underway. My people need me here.”
Her face tightened with anger. “We both know it’s not your people who keep you here, Son. What your people need is a king who—“
“I’m not leaving!” My outcry filled the emergency tent as if a bomb had exploded. I turned away from her but met the uncharacteristically stoic face of my cousin. For two days, he stayed at my side, executing my wishes, keeping vultures like my mother at a distance, but his eyes, once full of mischief, reflected ghosts and guilt as though he’d opened the sinkhole himself.
“Son,” her soft hand rested on my shoulder, “you’re risking your future by staying here.”
“What future?” Tears rose up faster than the swelling rivers that threatened the homes of my country. I tried to cover my mouth again to hide the emotion, but it choked my throat like hands squeezing my neck. “There is no future without her, Mother.”
A sharp inhale of breath drew my gaze to the tent’s doorway in time to see Sadie make her exit. I clenched my hands to fists. This was my fault. I rubbed my thumb over the wire, hoping it would bring me solace. Instead, I only found familiar pain and regret. I’d created this mess in the first place and Michaela had paid the price.
As usual, Mother paid no attention to anyone but herself. “What of the throne?”
Didn’t she understand that it was the last of my worries? Couldn’t she see that the country was in shambles and the would-be king had suffered a loss like no one would ever understand?
I whipped around, eyes flashing with defiance. “Let him have it!“ I waved at Bishop to give my approval. “Turn him loose on any of those jackals you brought to the palace. I’m sure they’d make proper puppets for you to control.”
“What?” Bishop stepped forward, uttering the first words he’d voiced in days. “Are you mad, Leo?”
I wouldn’t buy his act any longer. Turning my wrath on him, I spoke with vengeance. “That’s what you want, isn’t? That’s why you came. Here to step in when I failed. Here to do what your father never could? The next king and ruler of Nolcovia.” I waved my hand in the air. “Take it. It’s yours.”
Shock and horror disfigured his face. “You think this is what I wanted?“ Muscles twitched in his jaw as he fought his own emotional response. “I did what I did to make you see your folly.”
“What on earth are you—“
”I know how much you love her, Leonidas!“ He took a step toward me. “I have always known how much you love her. When I heard she would be here, I nearly burst from my skin with happiness. Finally, my self-sacrificing cousin would find some joy in this burden he’d been born into,“ he laughed to himself as he shook his head, “but in the next breath, I knew with a surety that you would find a way to foul it up and rob yourself instead. Always falling on your own sword for king and country.”
His words wouldn’t gel and yet, I couldn’t find the lie.
He’d come for me?
“But you want the throne. You’ve been jealous of—“
“Jealous, always, but never wanting your position,” Bishop corrected me. “Would I love the recognition and fame of your status, of course. I’m a selfish disaster with avoidant attachment tendencies, at least according to my shrink, but I have no desire to spend my life serving like your family has. That would be a nightmare.”
My mind brought up the moment I’d caught them in the warehouse. As if it were evidence I could use against him, I spoke through the pain, needing his clarification. “But you’ve wanted her from the first moment you arrived.”
“And who wouldn’t?” Bishop shrugged. “Your Coco,” he stretched his jaw to the side, “she makes a man believe he can be better, and he can do more than he ever thought. Meeting her only cemented the idea that I had to be sure you would end up together. And without my pressure making you jealous, I knew you’d let her walk away.”
I wanted to believe him. Memories swirled in my mind, nearly overpowering my senses. “And now she’s…”
Bishop took a step forward as if to comfort me, but I pushed him back. Long strides drove me from the tent and back into the chaos of the city square. Buildings still lay in heaps, damage unpredictable and uneven as some were untouched and others demolished. Nods greeted me as I passed the crews. Emergency professionals had rushed from not only Nolcovia but from all over the world as well. For the first twenty-four hours, it felt like miracles were still possible. Children, mothers, families, they were all rescued from the wreckage, hurt but alive. But as time went on, rescue became more about recovering bodies instead of saving people.
“She’s right, you know. Your mother.” Sadie fell in step with me, eyes puffy from recent tears. A fact I tried to dismiss quickly. “You should at least rest. I haven’t seen you stop for two days. You’re ready to drop.”
“I’ll rest when the crisis has ended.” My cold words caused her steps to falter, uncharacteristic for the man who’d listened to her play piano in the castle for hours. But those days were behind me.
“A change of clothes, then?” She set her hand to my arm and urged me to stop. I faced her, eyes flashing with warning. I was the prince and I took commands from few. She squared her shoulders and faced me bravely. “You’re coated in mud and blood, Your Highness.” With a step, she stole some of the space between us. Fingers trailed over my wrist, too gentle and delicate for the nature of the world I’d landed in. “Let me take care of you, Leo. I’m worried.” Her touch skimmed my arm, tracing over what was once a white shirt, which had become tattered and torn, stained with red earth and charcoal from the fires I’d helped extinguish. Her touch lit up my senses as her fingers curved over my shoulder, headed for my neck. “Come back to the palace, just for an hour. Just to eat?”
A deep revolution seized my chest. I shook my head and reversed my steps until her hand fell away. “No! I refuse. I won’t give up! And for you to ask me to abandon my post is a breath away from treason, Lady Sadira.”
Her hands tangled together, instantly transforming her back to the timid creature who had once been too afraid to even meet my gaze. “I apologize, Your Highness. My concern overstepped my station.” She turned as if to leave but hesitated. “You’re not the only one in pain. There are others who want to grieve with you.” Her face twisted with emotion, but she stayed in control. “She was my friend, too.”
Guilt bled into my veins, calling for shame to put me in my place. Before I could stop her, Sadie rushed toward the emergency tent at the head of the square. Surely, someone could get her back to the palace. Christmas had come and gone without celebration. Perhaps they would find some way to seek joy, but my presence would only chase it away more.
Resolved, I continued my course, eyes set for the section of earth that had ended all chances for happiness.
I called Michaela’s mother yesterday morning. I spared her much of my torment and the memories that would plague me until I died. She didn’t need to carry them. That was my burden alone. Coco’s silent scream as she dropped out of sight. The horrible moment of realization when she knew she’d met her end.
I shook my head and pressed on. Denise Caldwell hadn’t accepted my plane tickets to bring her to Nolcovia.
“Fitz, I’m only going to say this once. I won’t come until you find proof. Anything before that feels like I’m giving up faith.”
“Denise, please. I can do this for you. You can—“
“I will be here, Your Highness. I will be praying.” Her words choked out for a moment. “Call me when you find my daughter.”
The sinkhole came into view faster than anticipated and felt like a dagger to my stomach. It was still untouched. The underground caverns that made the hillside unstable for construction had been prone to much smaller holes in the past, always made worse by heavy rainfall like we’d had this year. The decision was made early on by geologists that Michaela and little Leila’s only chance for survival were in landing in one of those caverns and being shielded from the fallout of the collapse. They also immediately became concerned that any disturbance to the soil would risk dropping it on them if they were trapped below. My thoughts shifted back to the conversation I had once the recovery team arrived.
I stared at the geologist, desperate to understand the full scope of the situation. “And if they didn’t fall into a cavern?”
He rubbed a handkerchief over his dirty face, not budging even a single smudge of mud in the process. “The weight of the cave-in would have crushed them.” He paused, then said what he thought would be a comfort. “It would’ve been a fast death, Your Highness.”
I wrestled myself from dark thoughts and back to the present. Leila’s parents stood behind the tape that cordoned off the sinkhole. They hadn’t left either, though they had family and friends who brought food and blankets and stayed for comfort. Young Leila’s father worked at the hospital, and Leila often stayed overnight because she being treated for a blood disorder. She needed her infusion soon. Any rescue had to happen within the next twelve hours, or it wouldn’t matter if she’d managed to survive the fall. Her disease would kill her instead.
Leila’s father met my gaze, brow furrowed with questions neither of us could voice. He wanted news. He wanted to know what the future held, but I hardly knew what the next minute would bring. I shook my head once to let him know that we were just as lost as we were before. Crews were dispatched to search the caverns below but, thus far, nothing had turned up.
I shifted my trajectory to take on the incline toward the mouth of the caves at the top of the hill. The project supervisor owed me an update. But as I approached, Kellen Romford, the supervisor, looked away. A pit opened in my stomach, fearing the worst.
“Your Highness.” He offered a short bow, but since he wasn’t from Nolcovia, I didn’t expect much. I’d brought him in for his expertise, not his loyalty to the crown. “I’m afraid we’ve exhausted all accessible tunnels. We’ll start moving what we can as far as obstructions, but any blasting could end up causing more cave-ins and could kill any survivors.”
For an inexplicable reason, I began to laugh, but tears rolled over my cheeks, as though my emotions had finally snapped under the strain. I’d been up for forty-eight hours, only sleeping for snatches of no more than five minutes when I sat for a moment. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten. Heartache was my only companion that stayed with me constantly through everything. And now he was telling me we’d reached the end? This was it? She was gone? The laughter choked in my throat, shifting to utter disbelief that threatened to destroy me.
“You’re giving up?” I struggled to speak, unable to keep myself together.
“No,” he set his hand over my shoulder, “but we need to be realistic. It’s been two days with no sign, no sound, nothing. Even if they landed in a cavern like we hoped, it’s more likely that they are deeply injured or they died on impact.”
“No.” I shoved his arm off. My mind refused his words. “I’ll keep searching myself if that’s what it takes.”
“Your Highness, my team is committed. But I need you to prepare yourself for the worst.” His eyes turned sympathetic. “We won’t give up, I swear. We’re here for the long haul.”
I cleared my throat, embarrassed by my outburst. “Thank you. I know this isn’t—“
A cry from down below caught my ears. “I hear her! I hear Leila!”
Eyes wide, I turned and started running down the hill before I processed anything else. Kellen matched my speed, just as eager to get to the sinkhole. The ground tipped and tilted. My body had nothing left to give and yet I pressed on. Hope felt more nourishing than food ever had been.
“Get me a probe now!” Kellen shouted orders at his team. “Push everyone back. This ground is unstable. Any wrong move can be fatal for everyone.”
I stared at the dirt, watching the disturbed earth for any sign of movement. “Let them be alive,” I whispered to myself. “Let them be alive.”
I didn’t understand the work Kellen’s team did, only that they moved quickly and precisely and with more energy than they had in the previous thirty-six hours. It took all of my power not to dive at the opening and start clawing at the ground again. My shaky hands trembled with all the desire I felt to search on my own. In order to calm myself, I thrust a hand in my pocket and found the wire tiara I’d folded in half. My thumb ran over the surface, grounding me in the moment, stabilizing my breathing enough that I was able to focus.
I knew it. The moment I watched her fall, I knew my mistake. I’d put my country above my love. Michaela was all that mattered. If I had the chance to make it right, I would. There was no path that would satisfy every problem, but she was all I wanted. All I needed. Michaela was everything, just like I’d promised her. But I silently prayed I hadn’t learned the lesson too late.
“Right here,” Kellen pointed at a section of earth, “can we get picture in there?”
The crew moved as one entity, shifting equipment, speaking words I couldn’t understand. Whatever Leila’s mother had heard, I was yet to hear it myself. Was it merely the delusion of a hysterical parent? Temperatures had dropped again. Snow would fall tonight. Another factor that could lead to their demise.
Time had run out.
We needed a miracle.
“Trowels only,” Kellen said as he rose to his feet. He ducked under the tape as two of his team members moved into position and started digging. I waited for him to come for me, but his stare remained locked on the sinkhole. Fear seemed to ease across his face like ice. From the moment he’d arrived, he’d been nothing but steady. What had caused the change in him?
“Help!” a tender voice barely escaped the wet soil. Leila! I sank to my knees, completely overcome. “Please, can you help me?”
“We’re coming, Leila!” her father yelled. “We’re coming!”
I raked my fingers through my hair, locking them around the back of my head. “Come on, Coco. Talk to me,” I whispered. “Please talk to me.”
“It’s unsteady, Sir,” one of the men digging spoke to Kellen. “How should we proceed?”
The professional’s jaw clenched. He glanced at Leila’s parents and back to the ever-deepening passage they’d created. “Dig faster. Get her out.”
Larger shovels appeared, along with scaffolding to offset the weight of those digging. Dirt moved quickly, creating a deeper crater inside the one already there. Leila’s voice spoke louder with every passing second.
“Please! Help me! I’m so scared.”
Where was Michaela? Why wasn’t she talking? We could hear Leila, so why not Michaela?
“Leila,” Kellen sprawled over the bracing and spoke to the dirt. “We’re worried about the ground falling on you. Can you dig up toward us with your hands?”
“Like a gopher?” she asked, and her mother laughed and sobbed simultaneously.
“Yes,” Kellen confirmed. “Exactly. I’ll dig for you, and you dig for me. Deal?” He didn’t wait. With just his hands he started pushing dirt to the side, zeroed in on where she’d spoken last. I watched the earth, waiting for news, for anything that would allow me to hang onto hope. Fingers appeared in the soil, only small specks at first and then larger as the small child cleared away the dirt.
“I’ve got you!” Kellen shouted as his hand locked around her wrist. Leila didn’t answer. “She’s in the rough of it. Can’t breathe in the dirt. Dig around to loosen it!” His crew sprang to life, pulling the dirt back as he pulled on her wrists. Slowly, she appeared, first her arms, then her head, and her face with a deep raspy breath. Leila’s mother sank to the earth, arms reaching for her daughter instantly.
“Medic!” I don’t know who yelled it, but the hill sprang to life.
Everyone, but me.
I stared at the tunnel they’d created.
Where was Michaela?
Leila’s mother took her in her arms, spreading kisses all over her as she praised God for saving her child.
Where was Michaela?
“She saved me, Mommy.” Leila’s hoarse voice spoke of her trauma. Her father shifted to acting as her doctor, but the little girl would not allow him to check her. She refused to be silent.. “She saved me from dying. She kept me safe.” And then she said words that turned my heart to stone. “But she’s not moving anymore. She’s cold.”
“It’s giving way!” Kellen warned his men as the ground started to shift beneath them. The delicate balance of the earth had found a pocket to fill. Panic seized me, threatening to squelch out any hope I had left.
“No.” I crawled forward, desperate. “No. No. No.” The dirt caved in as Kellen’s people climbed out.
“We’ll wait for it to settle, and then we’ll start again.” Kellen spoke to someone, but I wasn’t listening any longer. She was there. I knew it. I wouldn’t wait.
Driving myself to my feet, I ran along the bracing beams that displaced weight. Cries of alarm called me back. I tuned out everything but kept my focus on the place they had been digging. Sprawled on my stomach across the boards, I clawed at the dirt, removing clods and rocks as my hands tore and bled under the abuse of the terrain. Arms pulled on my shoulders, but I shook them off, single focus in mind.
“It’s collapsing!” I heard the warning and ignored it.
“Coco!” I shouted her name, needing her to understand I hadn’t left. I hadn’t given up hope. I was there and I wouldn’t leave her. “Coco! Can you hear me?”
“Your Highness!” Kellen gripped my arm as if to forcibly remove me, but I dug my opposite arm in deeper, scraping along a buried rockface. It cut deeply into my arm, leaving me in blinding pain, but I shoved deeper, knowing that at any second they would remove me from the pit.
Strange, the things that pop into the mind in moments of traumatic stress.
Years ago, Denise, Coco’s mother, had sent us to an arcade with enough quarters to start our own treasury, and to my best friend’s dismay, all I wanted to play was the claw game.
“You’re never going to win.” Coco teased me incessantly as I went after every toy in my reach until I spotted a frog beneath the pile. “Just get the penguin on top and let’s go play Pac-Man instead.”
But I’d persisted. I never got the frog, and she’d teased me for years.
“That’s what you get, Fitz. You should have settled for something else.”
That’s what I was doing in this search for love. I was settling, determined that it wouldn’t matter in the end. A penguin was as good as a frog. But never again.
“Get his other shoulder. This whole thing is gonna go!”
I pushed the final inches, as if dropping the claw into the center of the cage. My hand locked around something soft. “I’ve got her!”
Priorities shifted instantly. Shovels, hands, even Leila’s father jumped into the fray to help remove the dirt that threatened Michaela’s life. I refused to let go. The ground rumbled as if another earthquake were imminent, but it only hastened the work. Her arm appeared and we pulled harder, removing her from the crevice where she was trapped.
“Medic!” I screamed as I scrambled from the sinkhole. I crouched on the edge and took hold of her body as they passed it to solid ground. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered against her hair as dirt tumbled from her and fell down my shirt. “Please forgive me.”
“Fitz?” I searched her face and found recognition in her eyes. “I knew you’d come for me.”
More medics scurried up the hill, bags in hand. Sirens wailed to life in the distance, but nothing mattered beyond the woman in my arms.
“I’ll never give up on you. I swear it.” My deepest feelings balanced on the edge of my lips, but the first time I said them, I wanted her to be coherent. “You’re mine, Coco. Always.”
A weak smile showed on her cheeks. “I think I missed the choosing ceremony, Fitz.”
I tried to laugh but it got caught in my ragged breathing. “We’ll have one here.” I noticed at least three phones were already recording us. “Lady Michaela, will you take this charm.” I dug in my pocket to remove the wire tiara. I snapped off a piece and held it up. “As a symbol that your heart is true,” I struggled to even out my voice, “your intentions are pure,” I drew in a uneven breath, “and you are willing to serve the people of Nolcovia as their future queen?”
Michaela watched me, brow furrowed as though something in my face gave her pause. As the seconds ticked by, I felt as though a lifetime had passed.
“Say yes,” Leila weakly urged from her mother’s lap.
A smile teased Michaela’s dry lips. “Yes, Fitz. I will.”
Mud coated her bracelet so much that twisting in the piece of wire dislodged dirt onto her already filthy clothing. A few clapped as I wrapped my arms around her, whispering gratitude to whatever force had kept her safe.
The medics pulled her from my grasp, but I directed them to take her to the palace where my personal physician would be waiting. I took her hand moments before they left.
“We need to talk as soon as you’re ready.”
“Okay,” she whispered, clearly not well. “Am I going home?”
“No,” I wasted no time correcting her thoughts. “But everything has changed.”
In fact, if I had my way, she wouldn’t ever leave my side again.