Chapter 17 #2
Smiling, she responded, “Yes. Of course.”
“I feel like shit for not asking again.”
“By now I’d be swollen and off my feet.” She giggled like a school girl.
I brought her closer. I couldn’t stomach the distance though she was still near.
“Yes, my baby. Yes, you would be.”
I kissed her lips, leaving with traces of her lip gloss.
“I’m so in love with you,” I confessed. “You feel so much like home.”
“I am. Rest in me. Reset with me. Build with me. Bond with me. Just don’t break me.”
I shook my head. “I won’t. I won’t. As long as I’m breathing, your heart will remain intact.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I have a confession,” she revealed.
“Talk to me.”
“I’m Clarke to my core.”
“Understood.”
“How do we marry the two? My home and yours?”
“I’m not asking you to give up your world to join mine.
I want us both to be part of each other’s.
You know where to find me, my baby, when your pussy is purring and your heart is heavy.
When everything becomes too much, I know where to find you.
I also know how to put you on a plane and get you straight to me. We don’t have to complicate it.
“Neither do we have to model our relationship after anyone’s before ours. We make our own rules. We create our own dynamic. Different homes. Different cities. Different states. It doesn’t matter. As long as you’re mine and I’m yours.”
She patted my chest, running her hand along my abs.
“Are you real, sir?”
Chuckling, she lowered her hand to my bulge.
“Yes. Yes. You’re definitely real.”
“I’m real. So are we. I’m not tripping on shit. I know where home is. It’s wherever you are. Whether Clarke or Berkeley, I’m coming home, my baby. Every fucking chance I get.”
Black trucks lined the driveway. I buttoned the jacket of my suit, squaring my shoulders. Royce’s hand gravitated toward mine. They were cold to the touch. Mentally, I noted her need for leather gloves in the upcoming weeks. The weather was breaking. The chill was upon us.
The door swung open. A chocolate, unbelievably gorgeous woman appeared with a child on her hip. Without question, I quickly determined her position in the family.
Mrs. Chemistry Childers.
The diamonds dancing on her skin wasn’t enough evidence. All the women were dripping in jewels. It was the child in her arms. He had taken after his father and aunts.
“Evening everyone.”
We filed into the spacious dwelling. Royce stopped in front of the curious boy, planting a kiss on his forehead.
“égée.”
She kissed him again. Her words were weighted. She wrapped her hands around him. He turned, placing his hands around her head.
“Oh my goodness. Tee Royce missed you, handsome.”
I leaned in, grabbing her purse to free both hands.
She took her nephew into her arms. Silently, I sketched the image in my head, waiting for the moment I could put it on paper.
I’d saw it in my head a hundred times, but seeing Royce with a child in her hand was confirmation for me.
I’d make her a wife. I’d also make her a mother.
“Egypt, this is Ishmael. Ishmael, this is my sister, Egypt, Chemistry’s wife.”
“Pleasure to meet you.”
I stepped forward, taking her hand into mine.
“With all due respect, I can’t pass you by without acknowledging your beauty. Are all of you this damn pretty around here?”
Royce’s smile was bright.
“She gets that often.”
“So do they,” Egypt responded.
“Come on. Rhea is waiting. She’s been at the stove all day.”
We followed the rest of the crew into the dining room that was fit for the large family and had room for growth. Within the next five years, I fully intended to occupy more space with my wife and children.
The aroma made my stomach howl. I hadn’t eaten as much as a cracker since breakfast. It was imperative that I got food in my system soon.
Royce rounded the table. I never left her side. Her legs didn’t stop moving until she was in front of an equally beautiful woman. Her eyes brightened at the sight of Royce. She took her daughter and grandchild into her arms.
“Ro–I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you more. I’m elated you decided to visit.”
“I felt it was reason enough to celebrate. And, it was about time we dined together. All of us. Here in Clarke. Just like we used to.”
Royce’s chest caved. Her eyes glossed over. Her thoughts were with the man she admired most. I placed a hand on her back. She leaned into me.
“It’s okay, Royce. I’m fine. We’re all fine. Grieving continues tomorrow. Today, we embrace what we’ve always known. Happiness.”
She stepped aside.
“Rhea… this is Ishmael. Ishmael, this is my mother. Rhea.”
I stepped forward. Rhea’s arms were around me in an instant.
“Let that man go before you bring Richie from his grave.”
With a hearty laugh, Rhea loosened her grip.
“Quiet, Chem.” She waved him off before taking her seat.
“Teddy,” Royce breathed out.
“What’s up, baby?”
She pushed past her siblings to reach her brother. His son was the first in his arms. Royce was next. From the agony on his face, I knew he’d prefer she not throw her body into his. Still, he accepted her display of affection.
“Good evening, Mayor Grayson.”
He pushed Royce away as if she was a germ. I couldn’t help myself. I chuckled, it reminded of Indigo and Isaías.
“Good evening.”
“Sit down, Royce.”
“Where’s Jru?” She ignored his request.
“She’s struggling with the time difference. She is asleep.”
“So is Psalem,” Rugger added.
“Prince? Malaya? Where are you all hiding the children?”
“With my parents,” Priest revealed.
“Malaya is at a sleepover,” Roulette groaned.
Israel shook his head. “If she makes it through the night.”
“If is accurate because if I even see a gray bubble pop up I’m going to get her.”
“She drove, Princess.”
“She won’t drive back if I have anything to do with it.”
“Leave her alone, Rou. She’ll be fine.”
“I don’t know. She still doesn’t know how to fight. We’re working on it.”
“Shooting is an easier lesson. Aim. Fire.” Rugger shrugged.
Simultaneously, Psalms and I nodded. It was true.
“No.” Israel wasn’t interested in the theory. “She’ll be fine. Roulette isn’t concerned with her safety or she wouldn’t have allowed her to go. She’s bitter because she wants to be Malaya’s only and best friend.”
“I’m the only one without other motives.”
“Fair argument.”
“My sisters are my friends. Everyone else is questionable.”
“Facts,” Range blurted.
“Malaya is an only child,” Israel reminded them all.
“I’m with Roulette,” Royce clarified. “Teenagers are not to be trusted.”
With a roll of her eyes, she returned to my side. She scanned the large table setting, trying to find a place for us. Space was plentiful. She didn’t have to search for long. We settled beside Range.
“Heads bowed.”
My chin fell. Darkness welcomed me back.
“Dear God, thank you for this day. Thank you for bringing us together to celebrate the most gracious gift one could ever receive… life. I pray for peace, continued love, light, and protection. Keep us. Teach us. Lead us. Bless the food we are prepared to receive. Bless our minds. Bless our hearts. Amen.”
“Amen.”
“Amen.”
“Amen.”
“Amen.”
As our heads lifted and eyes opened, two servers appeared with dishes balanced on their palms. No one stood. No one reached. No one moved. Conversation continued as our plates were piled with savory servings of the dishes Rhea had prepared.
Lamb.
Lobster.
Steak.
Broccoli.
Stuffed bell peppers.
Fully loaded baked potatoes.
A creamy seafood sauce.
Mixed veggies.
I leaned in, nudging Royce.
“Baby, between your mother and mine, I’m going to have to hit the gym twice a day.”
“Or let me work you out.”
“In that case, I’d better eat up, huh?”
“Please do. But, not too much, because your dessert will be waiting.”
“There’s always room for that, my baby.”
For the next two hours, plates were emptied and bellies were filled. Water was replaced with wine and Cognac and Hennessey and Crown. The options were endless. So was laughter. Connections were made. Bonds were strengthened.
And, little by little, the crowd dispersed. The women slowly exited, one by one, leaving the men to their common interests and conversation. It wasn’t until I was ready for something sweet that I stood from my seat in search of my dessert.
I was ready for our night to end. The day had been long and there was an even longer day ahead of me. I would be on the first thing smokin’ in the morning. The city of Berkeley was waiting.
“Excuse me, gentleman. It’s been great.”
“Getting out of here?” Saint asked.
“If I can manage to convince Royce. Have to head back to the city first thing in the morning.”
“Understood. Tell Royce to holler at me. Next time you’re in town, I’ll put you on the list. Come watch some ball.”
“Aight. I will. That sounds like a plan.”
One by one, I slapped palms with the men around the table. It wouldn’t be long before they were all finding their way out. Exhaustion was weighing on us all.
My search for Royce was initiated the second I stepped out of the dining room. The kitchen was the first stop. There was no sign of her.
“Everything alright?” Her mother asked.
“It will be once I find her.”
Smiling, she nodded. “I know that feeling.”
“A beautiful one.”
“Yes, it is. Hold on to it. Don’t believe the people telling you it’ll fade. It won’t. Not when you’ve chosen well.”
“I’ve chosen well, Mrs. Childers.”
“You have. It’s up to you to make more great choices.”
“I felt that heat she carry around. I don’t want that kind of trouble. Royce has nothing to worry about.”
“Don’t do it for Royce, Ishmael. Do it because it’s the right thing to do. Do it for you.”
“Understood.”
“She and the girls are in the family room. I’m sure of it.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course.”
I pulled my bottom lip as I tried to narrow down the location of the family room. The home gave no clues. Its vastness was unforgiving.
Quieting my thoughts, I listened for the sound of joy that was oozing from my baby. With each step I took, I could feel her more. I could hear her more. I took the steps and passed three doors before laughter nearly stopped my heart.
There was something about a woman’s merriment that lulled me. It didn’t have to be my woman. Any woman. Any Black woman.
“Let’s not act like you haven’t been whipped. Still is whipped. If Israel tells you to jump, your only question is how fucking high?”
Snickering followed Royce’s observation.
“Don’t act like you’re not above doing a few tricks for the dick,” Roulette countered.
I tapped on the door, hoping not to cause too much of a disturbance.
“I’m not. I fixed an entire election for mine. I have a few more tricks up my sleeve if need be.”
Rome appeared behind the door. Pity covered her pretty face.
“Okay!” Range lifted a hand.
“Ro–” she called out to Royce, widening the door.
I was immobile. My voice was ripped from my cords.
Royce’s mouth widened with regret. Silence grew louder as the seconds passed us all by.
“Ish.”
It was her voice that brought life to my limbs. I retraced my steps.
“Ishmael.”
Royce was closer. I could smell the floral perfume she’d sprayed on this evening. But, it was her arousal that I smelled the most. I clipped my breaths, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to deny her. Her desires overwhelmed me. It didn’t matter much once they were discovered.
“Ishmael, wait.”
She reached the bottom of the steps just as I pulled open the front door. I was met by two niggas dressed in black, both with questionable looks.
“Royce?”
“It’s fine, August.”
I didn’t care to explain myself to a fucking stranger. Neither did I care to halt so Royce could catch up to me. Still, she managed. With all her might, she pulled me toward her.
“Ishmael.”
Face to face.
Chest to chest.
Nose to nose.
My eyes on her. Her eyes on me.
My chest heaved. Hers rose and fell.
Still, no words were exchanged. I stilled.
So did Royce. As much as I wanted to forget her, I wanted to remember her.
As much as I wanted to punish her, I wanted to marry her.
As much as I wanted to hurt her, I wanted to heal her.
As much as I wanted to ignore her, I wanted to hear her. Hug her. Kiss her.
She’s dangerous. I concluded. For me.
I was too far gone. Royce was a liability. My feelings ran too deep. I had no limits. I had no boundaries. I only had fears. Fears of not having her in my world. And the thought of it crippled me.
“I’m sorry.”
I didn’t have any words. All there was was feelings. They silenced me. I left her where she stood, desperately needing to put distance between us.