Epilogue
Kirill
My wife never looks more beautiful than when she is holding my children. And she’s doing it right now, feeding our daughter.
It makes my fucking soul sing.
“Are you just going to stand there staring at me all day, or are you going to hand me that nursing blanket?” Tiana raises an eyebrow.
“I am going to stand and stare.” I fold my arms over my chest and wait for her to unhook her bra. It’s one of those hideous contraptions that allows her to nurse without getting undressed. Somehow, it still looks good on her.
Everything looks good on her.
“Vasilly just woke up.” Carmen walks into the sunroom holding my son. Tiana’s mother has been a permanent fixture since our wedding, almost a year ago. It doesn’t bother me. Family is important.
“I’ll take him when I’m finished with Elena. She’s almost done,” says Tiana. “Aren’t you, my little angel?” she coos down at the infant in her arms.
Tired of standing, I take a seat in the late afternoon sunshine right beside my wife. It’s the spot where my mother used to sit, and it makes her seem a little closer to being here.
It’s hard to believe that it wasn’t long ago that she’d been sitting here, in this very room, locked in her lonely world. Now she’s in a golden place with my father and my sister. It’s hard that she’s gone, but I take comfort in the thought of them together.
“Kirill, can you hold Vasilly for a moment?” Carmen is holding the squirming child out to me, and I reach for him, cradling him in my arms. It’s so strange to look into his tiny face and see my own eyes looking back at me.
“You’ll be a good fighter one day, boy, I can see it.” I stroke his downy head with my fingertip.
“Oh no, he will not!” Tiana objects. “He’ll be a doctor or a lawyer. No son of mine will use his hands for killing.”
“She does not know yet,” I murmur to him.
“I heard that.” Tiana is adjusting her shirt, exposing the globe of her other perfect breast. They’re fuller now. I like them.
“I know you did. It still won’t change anything,” I tell her, lifting Vassilly and setting him against my shoulder, my hand supporting the back of his head.
“Incorrigible man.” She huffs and then giggles. “Hey! Are you checking out my boobs?”
“Yes.” I stare openly. “I love your tits like this. And I will be doing more than just staring as soon as I get you back to our room later.”
“Kirill!” she squawks. “My mother is standing right here!” She shoots a look over her shoulder to where Carmen is beaming at us.
“I’m no stranger to this sort of thing, darling.” She chuckles. “I breastfed you till you were one, you know.”
“You’ve told me,” Tiana replies. “And don’t say that in front of Kirill. You’ll give him ideas.”
“I already have ideas,” I join in. “I want you to breastfeed me until I’m seventy-five.”
“Only seventy-five?” She laughs back at me. “What happens after that?”
“Then I switch to a bottle.”
“Of Stolichnaya, no doubt,” a voice joins in from the doorway.
“Dima, if you lay your eyes on my woman, I will take them out.”
Dima saunters into the room, Stepan in tow. “I’m not here to check out your woman, mudak . I’m bringing your boy back. I’m done showing him around the security room. And I have… things to attend to.”
The child dashes past him to plop down at my feet. “Can I hold him, Papa?” He reaches his arms out to Vasilly. I hand the infant over carefully. I can’t believe how quickly Stepan started talking once he settled in. The boy feels safe with us.
“Would this business involve a certain blond bombshell whose name might be Roxanne?” Tiana eyes Dima as she tugs her shirt closed, resting Elena against her shoulder and patting her back gently.
“Maybe.” Dima looks awkward.
I shake my head and grin at my friend. “I don’t know why you try to hide it, pridurok . Everyone knows you’re fucking that woman.”
“Kirill!” Yet again, my wife tries to rein in my filthy mouth. It’s never going to work. That’s who I am. But there’s so much more to me now.
I watch as Stepan cradles Vasilly in his arms, his small face filled with wonder and love. It’s a sight that never fails to warm me. I never thought I’d be a father, let alone adopt a child who isn’t my own. But Stepan is my son now in every way that matters. He even looks a bit like me.
“You’re a natural with him,” Tiana says, smiling at Stepan. Elena has fallen asleep on her shoulder, her tiny face a picture of innocence.
“I had a good teacher,” Stepan replies, looking up at me. I ruffle his hair affectionately.
“You’re doing great, boy,” I tell him. “Just keep supporting his head like that.”
Carmen chuckles from where she’s pulled up a chair nearby. “It’s amazing how much things have changed, isn’t it?” she says. “I remember when you were just a baby yourself.”
“She must have been beautiful.” I look at my wife.
“She was perfect. A perfect little angel.” A shadow crosses Carmen’s face. No doubt she’s thinking of all the years she lost. There were hard conversations after she came back to us, but she and Tiana have made their peace with all that’s happened.
“I don’t think that Kirill was ever an angel as a baby.” Dima is pushing his luck right now, but I imagine he’s glad to turn the attention off of him and his love life.
Tiana laughs. “Kirill was probably never a baby. I bet he was born with a gun in his little hand.”
I roll my eyes. “Right, I’d bathe in the blood of my enemies before I was five.”
“Oh, I’m sure you were a lovely child. Just a boy wanting to be held.” Carmen smiles at me. She doesn’t truly understand what I am. But that’s okay. I’d like to keep it that way.
“I still want to be held,” I say, pulling Tiana against to me. I cup a full breast in my palm as I do it. She laughs and swats my shoulder playfully.
“You’re insatiable,” she says.
“Only when it comes to you.” I lean in and kiss her softly on the lips.
Stepan looks up at us, a curious expression on his face. “You and Mama kiss a lot.,” he says.
Tiana and I both grin at him. “We like it,” Tiana says. “Is that okay with you?”
Stepan nods. “Yeah, I guess. As long as you don’t do it in front of my friends.”
“Deal,” I say, holding out my hand for him to shake. He smiles and shakes it.
“It’s not okay with me,” Dima grumbles, turning toward the door. “This lovefest is too much for me. I’ll see you in the morning.”
We sit in comfortable silence for a few moments, watching as Stepan continues to coo and make faces at Vasilly. It’s a simple moment, but it’s one of the happiest of my life. I never thought I’d have a family like this, but here they are, all around me.
What a life you have, mudak.
I know I’ll never leave the Bratva. It’s a part of who I am. But now there are more facets to my world. I have a wife who loves me, a son who looks up to me, and two tiny infants who will grow up knowing they’re cherished. My world is complete.
“Kirill?” Tiana says, breaking the silence.
“Yes?”
“ Ya tebya lyublyu .” She stumbles over the pronunciation, but I find that charming, and my chest swells with emotion.
“I love you too, Ptichka ,” I say; the words feel so natural now. “More than anything.”
She smiles and leans her head against my shoulder. I wrap my arm around her, holding her close. For the first time in my life, I feel truly content.
I know there will be challenges ahead. The Bratva is a dangerous world, and there are always threats lurking around every corner. But as long as I have my family by my side, I know I can face anything.
I’ll always be a man of violence, but I’ll never hurt the innocent. Only the ones that have it coming. Because now, I’m also a husband and a father. That means I have to be a good example. For my children. My wife. My family. The people who love me and care for me despite the man I am.
They are my tribe.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
THE END