Chapter 48
The sun beats down on my shoulders as I sprint across the field, the ball tucked firmly under my arm. Jayden and Killian flank me, perfect mirrors of focus and determination. But my gaze keeps sliding to the sidelines, where Dylan watches us, her ponytail swinging every time she claps for us, which is often.
Why is she always staring at Kai? Doesn’t she see how hard I’m working out here? How much I want her attention?
But no, all the girls go crazy over his appearance. I’m a decent enough looking guy, but I’m not that different in appearance than many of the other rugby players around. It’s not too hard to find tall and muscly guys with short, dark hair around here. Sure, not everyone has tattoos, but that’s hardly enough to keep me ‘interesting’ when next to someone like Kai.
It’s infuriating. He’s an exceptional player, sure, but everyone’s just so obsessed with his accent and his... I don’t know, charisma. His ability to score try after try, seemingly without effort, is just icing on the cake.
As if reading my mind, Kai suddenly has the ball, a blur of motion downfield. He dodges tackles like they’re not even there, before diving over the try line. A perfect score.
Dylan leaps up, clapping and cheering. “Amazing run, Kai!” Her smile is huge, and I watch him glance over at her and give her a thumbs up accompanied by a massive grin.
I clench my jaw. Of course she’s fawning over him. Mr. Hotshot with all the skills and the natural charm that makes ladies wet just by looking at him. Not me, sweating it out here every day. Trying to prove I deserve her.
Someday she’ll see. Someday she’ll be cheering for me.
The whistle blows and we’re back at it, running drills at full tilt. The sun beats down, making the turf shimmer.
Maybe I’ll get a chance to prove to her that I’m an excellent player too, that just because I don’t stand out as much as him doesn’t make me mediocre.
I see an opportunity to grab the ball and I charge toward it. But I underestimate the distance between me and it, and my fingers knock it forward. The ref blows the whistle for a knock-on, and I put my face in my hands and groan. Great, now she probably thinks I’m completely incompetent. I’m trying to impress her, but all I can manage is to make a complete fool of myself.
Kai snags the ball again, darting down the sideline. The same breakaway run as before. My frustration boils over. Doesn’t anyone see how hard I’m working? Can’t she see how much she means to me?
We reset, returning to our positions on the field, and the opposing practice side gets possession of the ball again. As Kai nears the try zone, I charge, seeing red. I tackle high, my shoulder crashing into his torso. We both slam to the ground.
The ref’s whistle screeches. “Noah! Off the field, now! That was dangerous play!”
I stare down at Kai, dazed in the grass. What did I just do?
Glancing up, I see Dylan, a hand over her mouth in horror. Tears brim in her eyes as she turns away.
Shame washes over me. I wanted her to see me out on the rugby field, but not like this. Never like this.
What have I done?
Before I can help Kai to his feet like I would any other player I’d taken to the ground, he jumps up on his own and storms off the pitch. Which is kind of nice of him, to be honest… most guys in his situation would have started a fight.
The team gathers around after practice, their faces stern. Jayden steps forward, his arms crossed. “What were you thinking out there, Noah?”
“Ugh, I don’t know… I just…”. I can’t find the words, so instead I just scowl.
“That aggression puts all of us at risk, not just you,” says Jayden.
Killian nods, his expression dark. “And you think that stunt will make Dylan choose you? More likely it’ll drive her away, toward Kai or away from all four of us.”
Their words hit me like a sack of bricks. Have I really jeopardized everything—my spot on the team, my friendships, my chance with Dylan?
I drop my head into my hands, elbows on my knees. How could I let my emotions take over like that? I’m supposed to be better than this. Smarter, more disciplined.
But seeing Dylan cheer for Kai just sent me over the edge. I want her to look at me that way, to see the hard work and passion I’m pouring into this sport, into us.
No more excuses. I need to get my act together. I can’t keep letting jealousy dictate my actions.
Tomorrow I’ll apologize to Kai and the whole team. And I’ll find a way to make it up to Dylan, to prove I’m worthy of her faith in me. I can show her my best self again. I have to.
I take a deep breath as I enter the locker room after practice. The chatter and banter that usually fills the space is muted today. Everyone’s still processing what went down on the pitch. A few people glance in my direction, but then immediately look away.
Kai’s at his locker, packing his gear. Now’s the time. I approach slowly, rehearsing the apology I’ve been preparing.
“Kai. Hey.”
He glances up, his expression unreadable. I plow ahead before I lose my nerve.
“I wanted to say I’m really sorry about earlier. That high tackle was way out of line. I let my emotions get the better of me and I shouldn’t have.”
Kai studies me for a moment, then nods. “We all muck things up sometimes when we see red. Just keep it clean next time, yeah?”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Yeah, definitely. It won’t happen again.” This seemed too easy. If I were him, I would be holding a grudge against me, possibly indefinitely. If the head coach had seen what I did, there’s a chance I could have been removed from the team, no questions asked. If Kai wanted to pursue it, he probably could.
With the air somewhat cleared between us, the atmosphere in the locker room lightens up. The usual banter resumes as guys start teasing each other about highlights from practice.
But I’m only half listening. My thoughts keep drifting back to Dylan. The hurt and disappointment on her face after my tackle haunts me.
In letting my emotions get the better of me, I not only jeopardized both my and Kai’s rugby careers, I also risked losing the girl I love. I may have, and if that’s the case, I could never forgive myself.
I meant what I said to Kai. I’m going to be better—as a teammate, and hopefully, as someone worthy of Dylan’s affection. I’ll find a way to make it up to her, to show her my best self again.
I just hope it’s not too late to regain her trust.
Her trust and belief in me is the one thing I can’t bear to lose.