19. Moment of Truth
Chapter nineteen
Moment of Truth
Neil
Moment of truth. I sat parked in front of Sawyer’s house, twisting my hands on the wheel. Bubblegum barked at me from her doggy car seat, her tail wagging as if cheering me on.
“Thanks for the support,” I told her before getting out of the car.
Sawyer’s house was a bundle of contradictions. His house was a tiny little cottage, single story, that, while well maintained, was older. The rest of the houses on the street were larger, newer construction homes with modern floor plans and multiple levels built right up to the plotline. Sawyer’s was one of the few that sat back from the street and had a front yard.
I could hear waves lapping at the beach, but the ocean itself was hidden behind another row of houses.
His yard was basically dirt with some weeds, but the siding was freshly painted. The decor I could see through the front window was eclectic, and none of it matched, but somehow, everything tied together into a cohesive whole.
A mural was painted on one wall, depicting a very stylized ocean, waves lapping at a beach. My mind stuttered, and suddenly, everything clicked into place. Sawyer wanted to volunteer to get used to being around dogs, not to take care of the animals. The shelter had that big blank wall right over the entrance. It was perfect. If he were up there painting a mural, he could still hear the dogs and see them, but he’d be in a safe space, unreachable.
I was so excited to tell Sawyer my idea over dinner and see what he thought about it.
I went around to Bubblegum’s side and rolled her windows down a few inches—no fancy electronic controls in this car—then petted her head and gave her a treat.
“I’m going to go inside for a few minutes,” I told her. She yipped at me and wagged her tail. A few minutes alone in the car wouldn’t hurt her. I didn’t want to ambush Sawyer with her at the door.
I grabbed the bag with Sawyer’s Tupperware from the footwell, then went and rang the bell. Sawyer answered before I’d even taken my finger from the buzzer. The scent of something cheesy and potatoey drifted out.
Before I could even say anything, he burst out laughing. I blinked at him and then did the same. While I’d dressed down, Sawyer had done the opposite. He wore a bright red pressed button-down, black dress slacks, along with a matching belt and loafers.
“Wow, you look great,” I gushed, and he did. The red set off his locks of shaggy, blond hair and tanned skin. He filled out the shirt nicely, and the pants hugged all the right places.
“Dressed to impress,” Sawyer said, waving down at himself, eyes twinkling. “But I guess you did the same.”
“I mean, it’s the weekend, and someone has been on me to relax,” I teased.
Sawyer’s grin was infectious, and I matched it as his eyes swept down me and back up. “No dog?”
“She’s in the car.” I waved to the driveway, which was out of sight of the front door. “Oh, I hope it’s okay that I parked in the driveway?”
“Yeah, no problem.” He took the bag from me. “Let me put these in the dishwasher, and then I’ll come out and meet her.”
“I already washed them,” I said to his back.
He waved at me over his shoulder, dumping the bag on the counter before returning.
Sawyer clapped his hands together. “Okay, let’s go meet the dog!”
While he sounded excited, his hunched shoulders and wild eyes told a different story.
“It’s fine not to be excited about this,” I told him. “You don’t have to put on a front for me.”
His face immediately plummeted. “Good because I’m terrified. Let’s get this over with.” He squared his shoulders, then stepped outside, shutting the door firmly behind him.
I walked alongside him down the walk. We turned the corner, and the car came into view. Bubblegum stood up in her dog seat, yapping at us through the window. Sawyer stopped dead, his face going white. He looked like he was about ready to faint, so I grabbed his elbow, just in case.
“Is that a Chihuahua?” his voice cracked.
“No, she’s a miniature spitz,” I said, chewing on my lip. I’d even gotten her tested with one of those doggy ancestor kits because I’d been curious if she was a purebred. She was. “Why? What’s wrong? You’ve seen her before, remember, in my office and in the parking lot when I was walking her.”
“I thought—” Sawyer’s voice broke, and he had to swallow, clearing his throat before continuing. “I thought the sheepdog was yours.”
“Sheepdog?” I asked before remembering the other dog that had been with us both times. “Oh, my gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize… but… isn’t this better? Because she’s so much smaller?” I asked, waving my free hand at Bubblegum, who still stood in her car seat, wagging her tail at her new best friend so hard that her entire butt waggled.
“Not so much.” Sawyer groaned.
“She’ll be okay in my truck for a few more minutes,” I said, tugging his arm until he let me lead him back into the house.
The entryway had some photos of Sawyer as a kid and pictures of his parents that I wished I had time to stop and examine. But right now, calming Sawyer down was more important.
Sawyer flopped onto the couch, and I sat down next to him. The threadbare couch was more comfortable than it looked.
He was breathing slowly in and out, just like when he’d helped me with my panic attack. Bubblegum’s yappy barks were still audible, but only faintly.
I sat with him in silence until his breaths were even.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, covering my face. “I kinda ruined dinner. If you’re better, I’ll take her home.”
I stood up, but Sawyer pulled me back down. I didn’t resist. “Please don’t go. It’s not you, it’s me.”
My lip quirked at the cheesy line, which, in this case, I knew to be true. I also noticed that Sawyer still hadn’t let go of my hand even after I’d sat back down. “I can’t leave Bubblegum in the car.”
“I set up a baby gate in the bathroom door. You can put her in there,” Sawyer said, partially pulling his hand out of mine, fingertips lingering there.
“You freaked out just seeing her. And this place doesn’t look big enough to have multiple bathrooms. What happens if you need to use it?” I raised my eyebrows at him.
“We’ll figure it out…” Sawyer said although he didn’t look or sound sure. “There’s a 7-Eleven a few blocks away. I can go there.”
“Can I ask…? Why Chihuahuas? What happened? I mean, I’m guessing Chihuahuas because you asked me if she was one,” I said when he gave me a sharp look. “I want to know before I agree to this insane plan.” A plan I shouldn’t even be considering, but I’d been looking forward to this date/not-date, and frustration churned in my gut.
“It’s stupid.” Sawyer let go of my hand now and groaned, flopping over to lie halfway over the arm of the couch.
“Not stupid if it upsets you.” I put a hand on his leg. My heart ached for him, and seeing him so vulnerable made me even more attracted to him.