21. Netflix and Chill
Chapter twenty-one
Netflix and Chill
Neil
While we ate, we watched the sunset from his porch. Bubblegum made a fuss at first, with Sawyer flinching at each bark, but she finally settled down. It had been really sweet of him to set up that space for her in his bathroom. He’d even put down a bowl of water and some blankets to make a little bed for her.
“Dinner was great,” I told Sawyer as I helped him clean up the dirty dishes.
“You’re not leaving, are you?” Sawyer looked crestfallen as he shut the fridge. “I thought we could go for a moonlit walk on the beach after dinner?”
The flash drive with Drag Race on it burned a hole in my pocket. I remembered I hadn’t told him about my idea for the mural either.
One thing at a time.
“The beach walk sounds very romantic, but…” I took a deep breath, took the flash drive out, and held it up. “I brought a show I wanted to watch together. Can your TV read flash drives?”
“Netflix and chill?” Sawyer asked, reaching for me.
I stepped toward him and let him draw me into an embrace. “Maybe,” I hedged as I settled my hands against his chest.
His heart pounded against my hand, and his lips hovered close to mine, asking silent permission. I couldn’t resist closing the distance and pressing my mouth against his. My skin tingled all over as he kissed me back, groaning into my mouth. His hands slid lower to cup my ass. He squeezed, making me gasp at the sensation, and then pulled me closer. I could feel his erection poking me in the leg through his thin slacks.
With some effort, I gathered my scattered thoughts and broke the kiss. Sawyer panted, his eyes half-lidded as he stared at me.
“That was even better than I imagined it would be,” he said.
I had to agree, and it made me even more impatient to tell him about me. I wasn’t sure I could even bring myself to wait until we’d watched the show.
I opened my mouth to answer when Bubblegum barked once, high and piercing, and Sawyer flinched against me.
“I’m sorry, I think she needs to go out,” I said, reluctantly untangling myself from him.
“I’ll get your movie ready to play while you’re outside,” he said, still breathless.
“It’s episode 1,” I told him as I headed for the bathroom. I’d downloaded the whole season, and it was the only thing on the flash drive.
As soon as she saw me, Bubblegum began dancing on her back legs. I leaned over the ancient baby gate and clipped the lead to her before lifting her out. I carried her down the hall and out the front door. When I passed the living room, Sawyer was focused on the television, too absorbed to notice us.
I set Bubblegum in the dirt of Sawyer’s front yard, impatiently waiting while she sniffed around to find the exact perfect place to pee. When she was done, I took her back inside. Sawyer waved at her as we walked by. I paused and lifted Bubblegum’s paw, pretending to have her wave back.
“Cute.” He laughed. “From here, she’s not so bad.”
“You want to—” I took a step into the living room, but Sawyer held up a hand in a stop gesture. “Got it. Be right back.” I deposited Bubblegum back into the bathroom, hoping Sawyer had taken advantage of the break to use it.
When I got back to the living room, he was relaxed back into the couch, one arm thrown over the back and a stocking-clad foot up on the pillows. He gestured to the space between him and the back of the couch. An unspoken invitation to snuggle.
Grinning, I toed off my sneakers and crawled into the space. I laid my head on his chest and realized my mistake almost immediately. Having a conversation with Sawyer would be difficult, and I also couldn’t see his face to judge his reactions to the episode.
“Do you like Drag Race ?” I asked him as the theme music started up.
“Never seen it.” He shrugged, the movement flexing muscles in his chest under my cheek. “But I’ve been to drag night at the gay bar downtown.”
“In the audience or on stage?” I teased.
He laughed and ruffled my hair. “Audience. The first time I went to support my friend Diego’s stage debut. Had a blast, so I usually try to catch the monthly show.”
An irrational stab of jealously went through me. Had Diego been a friend or a friend ? “Diego never made you watch Drag Race with him?” I asked, although I really wanted to ask if they’d ever dated.
On screen, RuPaul had lined up the contestants and was giving her spiel. In a few more minutes, the queens would start doing their introductions.
“Eh, I mostly hung out with Hector. I know Diego from the LGBT club. It was a small school, and us gay kids tried to stick together.”
So really just a friend, then. It really shouldn’t matter to me. It was history, and we weren’t even dating yet, but I reminded myself that feelings weren’t rational.
Sawyer stroked his fingers through my hair as Gottmik came onto the stage. Gottmik was the trans-guy in this season.
I bit my lip and craned my head back so I could look up at Sawyer.
Sawyer’s brows furrowed as Gottmik talked about doing female impersonation drag as a trans-guy. Not a good sign.
“Something bothering you about him?” I asked, biting my lip.
“Nothing.” Sawyer glanced away from the screen and gave me a half-hearted smile.
Well, this plan crashed and burned. My eyes unfocused as I thought, not seeing the screen as anything more than bright flashing colors.
“Get up here,” Sawyer tugged on the back of my shirt. “I need to kiss you again.”
A thrill of anticipation went through me, and I levered myself up until I could reach his mouth. Fireworks went off in my belly and lower down as our mouths met. Sawyer’s hand cupped the back of my head.
I put my hand between his pecs, enjoying the silky feeling of his dress shirt on my fingers. I slid my hand to the side and circled a finger around his already erect nipple. Sawyer shuddered under me, grasping at my hair with one hand and my side with his other.
“Oh my god, Neil,” Sawyer muttered against my mouth. “Bedroom?”
I gasped and pulled away to sit up slightly. “Need… talk… first…” My heart hammered with lust and worry.
“I’m clean,” Sawyer said, leaning toward me with lidded eyes, going in for a kiss.
I blocked him and sat up. “Not that. Although I am too.” I’d been single for a few months and gotten tested after breaking up with my last boyfriend. “I have something I need to tell you before we go any further.”
My heart hammered in my chest with nerves, contrasting with the ache in my groin. Argh, we should have had this conversation before the kiss. I knew it. All I could think of now was how much I wanted to tear Sawyer’s clothing off, to see him naked. Sawyer didn’t look in any better shape with his slacks tented up by a massive erection.
I pushed at Sawyer’s legs until he swung them off the couch, giving me room to sit up, then grabbed the remote and paused the show.
Sawyer took my hand and looked me in the eye. “You heard my worst secret. I’m sure yours can’t be worse than near-death by Chihuahua.”
His confidence made me smile despite how nervous I was. “I’m a trans guy, like Gottmik. Do you know what that means?”
Sawyer’s eyes went distant. “Umm…”
My mouth twitched, and my gaze dropped to his crotch and back up. “I guess all your blood is busy somewhere else.”
“And whose fault is that?” Sawyer teased with a wink. “But um, yeah. Some of the queens Diego works with are trans women. I guess I never thought about someone going the other way, but that’s cool. It’s cool. Can we get back to the kissing? That was nice.”
I hesitated. His answer was sincere, and I was sure that, in the moment, he really didn’t care. But I knew from bitter experience that things might change once the clothes came off. The fact that I didn’t have the anatomy he was expecting might not have penetrated his sex-addled thoughts.
Sharp yapping made Sawyer flinch from me. “I’m sorry. Guess I’m not as desensitized to barking as I thought.”
“It’s okay,” I assured him. “I should get her home.”
“You’re leaving?” Sawyer’s mouth turned down into an adorable pout. “I can handle her barking.”
Bubblegum yapped again, but this time she didn’t stop. Sawyer’s fingers tightened on my hands, and his eyes went wide, but he gave me a shaky grin.
“See, I’m fine.”
I gently pulled my hands from his grip. “You’re doing great, but this time it’s me. I think you need time to absorb what I just told you. I had a really good time.”
I couldn’t help but lean forward to peck him on the lips. Sawyer sighed into my mouth, making a little noise of protest when I pulled away.