Chapter 4
Thunk.
The log splits in two. I grab another from the pile, position it on the stump, and swing my axe again. Whoosh, thunk. The repetitive motion, the brute force of it, usually helps clear my head. But today, nothing can keep my thoughts from Bridget.
That kiss. I can still feel the press of her soft lips on mine, the sweet taste of her. It awakened something deep inside that I thought was long dead and buried.
I want her with a desire so fierce it scares me. It terrifies me because everyone I’ve ever cared for, I’ve lost. My brothers-in-arms in the Army were all gone in a flash of fire and shrapnel, leaving me the sole survivor.
I drop the axe and rub a hand over my chest, feeling the thick ridges of scar tissue through my T-shirt. The puckered skin is a permanent reminder of the worst day of my life. How was I so unlucky to survive?
Wincing, I roll my shoulders and stretch my arms overhead, trying to ease the ache from swinging the axe. Without thinking, I flow into one of the poses from Bridget’s yoga class, my arms extended. I take a deep breath and move to another pose.
Much as I initially thought yoga was a bunch of malarkey, I have to admit the little I’ve learned so far is helping. My muscles are looser, and for the first time since the IED explosion, I’m able to quiet my mind.
I finish my stretches and pick up the axe again. Maybe there is something to this yoga stuff after all. I’m not quitting anytime soon, if for no other reason than it affords me a chance to see Bridget. I’ll do poses slightly wrong if it means I can feel her hands on my body, guiding me to the proper form.
“Well, well, look at you, getting all New Age on us,” a familiar voice drawls.
I freeze mid-swing, axe poised over my head. Reggie. A grunt escapes me as I follow through and split the log, the crack echoing through the woods.
Propping the axe against the chopping block, I turn to face him. Reggie leans against a tree at the edge of the clearing, grinning at me like he caught me in a secret. I like the guy well enough, and we work together with security, especially when I need drone footage of an area. We’re still not close, though.
“The hell are you on about?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow.
Reggie smirks. “Were you or were you not doing yoga when I walked up?”
Heat creeps up my neck that has nothing to do with the sun beating down on me. I clear my throat. “Maybe I was. So what?”
“Hey, man, no judgment. Just never pegged you for the downward dog type, is all.”
I roll my eyes, but there’s no real annoyance behind it. “Yeah, well, it actually helps.”
Reggie’s eyes go wide. “No shit? Good for you, man. It’s helping with the stress?”
An image of Bridget flashes through my mind—her gentle smile, soft curves, and lips pressed to mine. I swallow hard and look away, trying to shove down the conflicting swell of desire and panic rising in my chest.
“Too soon to tell,” I say, picking up the axe again to have something to do with my hands. “But yeah. It seems that way.”
Reggie tilts his head, studying me in that keen way of his that makes me feel like he can see right through my bullshit. “You okay, man? You seem distracted.”
I debate brushing him off, but something in his open expression gives me pause. We may not confide in each other, but he’s the man I’m closest to up here, probably because he’s the one I’m in contact with most, aside from Waylon. Maybe it’s time to open up about what’s on my mind. Like friends do. Like teammates do.
I blow out a breath and set the axe down, bracing myself. “I kissed my yoga instructor.” The words tumble out in a rush, like a dam breaking. “Bridget. I...I can’t stop thinking about her.”
A slow grin spreads across Reggie’s face. “Well, hot damn. Looks like someone’s finally thawing out that crusty exterior.”
I scowl at him, but I can’t help chuckling. He’s not wrong. Bridget makes me feel...alive. It’s thrilling and terrifying in equal measure.
“You seeing her again?” Reggie asks, walking across the clearing toward me.
I rub the back of my neck, sudden uncertainty churning in my gut. “I have another class in a few days. But the kiss...it happened during a private session. I’m worried I overstepped.”
Reggie frowns. “Was she into it?”
I remember the breathy moan Bridget made when I deepened the kiss, the way she melted against me and pulled me closer. “Yeah, she was definitely into it.”
Reggie laughs, clapping me on the shoulder. “Damn, Moses. That’s the first real smile I’ve seen on your face in...maybe ever. This girl must be something special.”
I duck my head, warmth blooming in my chest that has nothing to do with the summer heat. “She is,” I admit quietly. “She really is.”
“Then what the hell are you waiting for? If she makes you feel this good, you gotta see where it leads.” His face sobers a little. “Look, Moses. I know you had a rough time in the Middle East. No one deserves any of that. I also know you’ve been isolating up here, like nothing and no one matters. Don’t get too inside your head, talking yourself out of a chance at happiness.”
I shift my weight, old fears and doubts rising to choke me. “I don’t know, man. It’s been a long time since I let anyone get close.”
Reggie’s expression softens, and he pushes his glasses up his nose. “Believe me, I get it. I wasted so much time pining after Marian, scared to make a move. But being with her now? It’s hands down the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He looks me dead in the eye, his gaze steady. “You deserve that kind of happiness, too, Moses. Don’t let fear keep you from something that could be amazing.”
I let his words sink in, turning them over in my head. Maybe he’s right. Maybe it’s time to stop running from my past and start chasing my future. A future that could have Bridget in it.
“I’ll think about it,” I say at last, a seed of hope taking root in my chest. “I promise.”
“Good.” Reggie claps a hand on my shoulder. “Speaking of your lady friend, I came up here to talk to you about something that might give you a chance to spend more time with her.”
I put my axe down and cross my arms over my chest. “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
“Well, rental season is coming up, and I plan to start using drones to help monitor the properties.” He grins at me, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Figured they could help you out, too. Give you a break from fire watch duty every now and then. You know, in case you want to take Bridget out on a proper date or whisk her away for a weekend.”
He waggles his eyebrows suggestively, and I can’t help but smile again. The idea of stealing some time away with Bridget sounds like heaven.
“Using drones to keep an eye on things makes sense,” I agree, already envisioning the possibilities. “It’d allow for more flexibility in the schedule.”
“Exactly.” Reggie nods, looking pleased. “I’ll make sure you and all the other guys get trained up on operating them. They’ll be a big help with monitoring the mountain and the forest. It’ll also make it easier for you to take time off. Not everyone knows how to spot smoke and fires like you do, but I’m confident they can all learn to send the drones out and watch the footage.”
“I appreciate it, man. Truly.” My mind is already conjuring images of showing Bridget my favorite spots on the mountain. Holding her hand as we hike to the secluded waterfall I found recently. Lying out at night, watching shooting stars fly across the night sky.
Shaking myself from my reverie, I turn back to Reggie. “You said there were a couple of things you wanted to talk about. What was the other one?”
“Right, nearly forgot.” He leans against the railing beside me. “Nathan signed up for an axe-throwing competition at a new bar in Jefferson called Bullseye. Bunch of us are going to cheer him on. You should come.”
I hesitate, my usual inclination to keep to myself warring with the desire to spend time with the people I’m slowly starting to consider friends.
Reggie must sense my inner battle because he adds, “Think of it as a chance to unwind, blow off some steam. All the wives and girlfriends are coming, too. You could invite Bridget...make it like a group date to start.”
The idea is more appealing than I want to admit—an easy way to spend time with Bridget, with the buffer of other people around. And watching Nathan throw an axe could be entertaining.
“Alright,” I agree, excitement and nervousness mingling in my gut. “I’m in. I’ll invite Bridget.”
“Atta boy.” Reggie grins, heading back toward the tree line. “Trust me, Moses. You won’t regret pursuing Bridget. I can feel it.”
As he disappears into the forest, I lean back against the rough wood siding of the lookout, blowing out a breath. I sure hope he’s right. Because now that the idea of Bridget being mine has taken root, I’m not sure I can go back to living without her.
I bring an armful of chopped wood into the fire watch cabin, stacking it neatly by the small woodstove. His words echo in my head as I work. Maybe it is time to open myself up to another person. My VA therapist has been encouraging me to build friendships and let people in. To learn to trust again.
But the idea of formally asking Bridget out terrifies me. Not because I think she’ll say no—the way she responded to my kiss made it clear she’s interested. What scares me is that she’ll say yes. Letting someone in and risking things not working out scares me the most.
I walk out onto the narrow deck that wraps around the cabin, scanning the horizon for any signs of smoke. The familiar routine is relaxing and settles my racing thoughts. I breathe in the sharp, clean scent of pine and earth.
Inside, I pull Bridget’s card from my wallet before I can second-guess myself. I flip it over in my hands, picturing her smile, remembering how her lips felt against mine. My heart pounds against my ribs as I dial her number.
“Hello?”
“Bridget. Hi. It’s Moses.” I wince at how breathless I sound.
“Moses! I’m so glad you called.” The warmth in her voice washes over me. She sounds genuinely happy to hear from me.
“Listen, I was wondering...” I rub the back of my neck and take a fortifying breath. “My buddy Nathan is doing this axe-throwing competition at Bullseye this weekend. A bunch of us from the mountain are going. I thought maybe...if you’re free...you might want to come with me? Like a date?”
“I’d love to!” Her response is immediate and enthusiastic.
For the first time in a long time, I’m looking forward to the future.