Chapter 9
WHAT SELF CONFIDENCE?
LILY
“Girls’ night, let’s go,” Annika says with a grin.
“Oh, okay,” I say, not entirely sure I feel up for more socialising today.
She chuckles. “There’s the enthusiasm I was hoping for. Lucky for you, I have thick skin.” She grabs my hand. “Come on, we’re going to my place.”
I open my mouth to protest as she leads me down the hall. I really don’t want to leave the mansion again today. The few hours earlier had left me feeling exhausted and on edge, and the three-hour nap I’d had didn’t really do much to fix that.
But she bypasses the stairs, heading for the other end of the hall instead.
She throws open the door to the suite furthest from Sebastian’s.
It couldn’t be more different from his place.
While his is all dark tones and modern furniture, her’s is feminine, with pops of colour everywhere.
A comfortable-looking cream couch, covered in blush coloured cushions, accompanies an overstuffed armchair that is covered in French motifs and a matching ottoman, making up the small lounge area.
There’s a TV on the wall, but it’s dwarfed by the surrounding built-in bookcases, which are overflowing with brightly coloured books.
A small two-person table separates the lounge area from the kitchen, and through an open door, I can see her very feminine bedroom, complete with a cream, frilly bedspread and more of the same blush cushions. It’s all very cosy, and very Annika.
“Wow. Your place is nice,” I say, forgetting my need to barely speak for a moment.
“Thanks. I love it,” she replies with a smile, as Imogen walks out of the bathroom. “I brought our reluctant guest.”
Imogen laughs and gives me a little wave. “It’s best to just go along with whatever Annika wants. You know it’s going to be her way, whether you give in or not.”
“Yeah, I’m working that out,” I reply, surprising myself again.
After she showed me around the mansion earlier, I grew more comfortable with her.
There’s something about her that draws me in, which I’m finding a little confusing still.
I also kind of feel it with Annika as well, but I just put that down to the fact that Annika is basically a siren, calling people to her with her sexual wiles.
Either way, I feel at ease around the two women, which I’m not used to. It’s been a long time since I’ve had girlfriends. Not since primary school, really. But Imogen and Annika don’t seem like the mean girls I went to high school with.
“Oh good, you’ve worked it out quick. This one took a while to come around.” Annika jabs her thumb in Imogen’s direction. “She’s almost as stubborn as Sebastian.”
I smirk. “No one is that stubborn.”
They both laugh, and Annika goes to grab three wine glasses from the kitchen.
Despite my initial boldness, I find it easier to watch the two of them chat together than continue to take part in the conversation. It’s obvious from observing them that they are close friends, sharing inside jokes and talking about people they both know.
“We’ll have to organise a family dinner next Monday night. The club is closed on Mondays,” Annika tells me as we settle into the lounge area with our drinks.
“Oh, I don’t know that I’ll be up for that…” I reply.
“You’ll have met everyone by then, and you can’t stay hidden away in Sebastian’s suite forever,” Annika continues.
Imogen gives me a sympathetic smile. “Best to go along with her, remember?”
“Exactly. And I’m always right.” Annika grins.
There’s nothing pretentious about either of them, and I can feel myself relaxing further.
“Fine,” I reply with a sigh, and Annika claps her hands together in triumph.
“Good, that’s settled. Now, tell us your story, Lily St Clair slash Sinclair. Cause we’re nosy bitches, and I need to know all about your relationship with the DeLuca men,” Annika says.
I freeze, not even slightly sure where to start.
Imogen comes to my rescue. “It’s okay, Lily.” She fixes Annika with a slightly stern expression. “Annika, you need to ease people in before you force them to give up their secrets.”
There’s something about the sympathetic look Imogen shoots me afterwards that makes me wonder if Sebastian has told her why I’m here.
“Yeah, but how is she going to become our best friend if she doesn’t open up?” Annika asks.
“You really are like an over-excited puppy sometimes, you know that?” Imogen sounds exasperated even as she smiles.
“That’s why you love me.”
“Yeah, you’re right. But you gotta ease people into your awesomeness.” Imogen pats Annika’s leg.
“Fine. Just give us the highlights then, Lily.” Annika gives an exaggerated sigh when Imogen shakes her head again. “Please?”
I give them both a small smile. “I met Daniel when we went to school together and kind of just forced them both to let me hang out with them.”
Annika raises an eyebrow. “I can’t imagine that was much of a hardship for them. And you don’t really seem like the type to force your presence on anyone. That’s more like something I’d do.”
How do I explain I was once like her, happy and carefree, until I fell into Joseph’s web?
“I guess things change,” I reply, not wanting to go into more detail. “But yeah, I’ve known them for a long time.”
“What was Sebastian like as a teenager? I can’t imagine him as anything other than the walking sex-stick he is now.”
I choke on the mouthful of wine I’d just taken, spluttering at Annika’s words.
Once I’ve recovered myself, I shake my head. “That’s an interesting way to describe him.”
She shrugs. “It’s accurate, though. That man oozes sex and power. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed, because there’s no way you’ve missed that.”
Imogen is watching the conversation with a small smile, but doesn’t offer up her opinion on the subject.
“I met him when he was eighteen, and by that point, he was Daniel’s guardian, so he had a lot of responsibility already. He’s been pretty intense for as long as I’ve known him. And he’s kind of always had that raw charisma that he has now.”
Annika sighs. “Yeah, that tracks. Was kind of hoping you’d have stories about some stupid shit he might have gotten up to, though. Like the rest of us when we were young.” She pouts before taking another sip of her wine.
“I’m sure he did… But it was before I knew him.”
“So you never…” Annika wiggles her eyebrows.
I blink. “Never what?”
“Fucked him? Or Daniel?”
I’m so stunned I can’t help the laugh that slips from my lips, and it feels so foreign that I stop abruptly, surprised at myself. I haven’t laughed in a long time, and after knowing this woman for only a few hours, I’ve already relaxed in her presence and actually laughed?
“No. Daniel may as well be my brother.”
Annika cocks her head as she studies me. “And Sebastian?”
I shrug. “He’s never seen me that way.”
Well, at least, I’d thought he hadn’t, until the last time we saw each other… Now I don’t know what to think.
“Interesting… You sure about that?” she asks, before taking another sip of wine and watching me closely.
“He’s only ever seen me as Daniel’s best friend, who needed to be protected.”
Annika smirks at me over the rim of her wineglass. “In my experience with men, when they treat women like they are precious, like Sebastian does with you… Things are never strictly platonic.”
I shake my head. “There’s no way. Besides, a guy like Sebastian would never be with someone like me.”
She raises any eyebrow, frowning. “What do you mean by that?”
I shrug again. “I’m too… I don’t know… He’s just on a whole different level to me.”
“You think he’s too good for you?” Imogen asks, joining the conversation finally as she eyes me with interest.
“Well, yeah,” I say, unsure of why they don’t see it themselves.
Sebastian is all charisma and power, while I’m… not.
They exchange a look before Imogen shakes her head. “Guess we need to work on your self confidence.”
I snort. “What self confidence?”
Imogen shakes her head as Annika puts her wineglass down on the side table and studies me for a moment.
“I think I’ve found my next project, after sorting things out with you and Cam,” she says, turning to look at Imogen.
“I’m sure Cam will be thrilled to know you will no longer be showing up at his gym with one of your schemes,” Imogen says wryly.
“Oh, whatever, he loves me.” Annika waves her off.
“Cam’s your boyfriend, right?” I ask Imogen, happy to have an excuse to change the subject.
“Oh yeah, he is, and he’s fucking hot,” Annika says.
I raise an eyebrow. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone say that about their friends’ partner before.”
Imogen shrugs. “I’m fine with it. He is hot.”
“Well, I mean, of course he is. Have you seen you? I couldn’t imagine you with some ugly guy,” I say, and Annika laughs.
“Yeah, the two of them together is just electric. Seriously, you should see it.”
I don’t know why, but I get the impression that she’s talking about more than just seeing them stand side by side, and I’m not sure how to respond to that.
“How did you meet him?” I ask instead.
“He’s a paramedic. One of the clients had a medical emergency one day, and he was one of the ambo’s that showed up. Kind of went from there,” Imogen replies.
I turn back to Annika. “And do you have a boyfriend?”
She laughs. “Lord no. I’m yet to meet a man, or woman for that matter, who would be comfortable with their girlfriend fucking other people for a living.
But I’m happily single. I can sleep with all the men and women I want, either for business or pleasure, without having to worry about the emotional side of it. ”
“And the guy she’s interested in has no idea how to handle her,” Imogen continues with a smirk.
Annika scowls. “We are not talking about Connell. He frustrates me too much.”
“Connell? The security guy?” I ask.
I could totally see them together. They are both so ridiculously hot that they’d no doubt set the world on fire just by looking at each other.
“Yeah. The two of them hooked up at a club night years ago and have been dancing around each other ever since,” Imogen replies as Annika continues to scowl at her.
“Club night?”
They exchange a look. “Um, yeah. It’s just a work thing,” Imogen says, quite obviously backtracking.
“Would that be the nights when people show up in a bunch of different masks?” I’d seen this happen twice in Sydney, through my window, and had wondered what was going on.
Imogen hesitates for a moment. “We probably shouldn’t have said anything.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s fine. I know I’m not meant to know about any of the stuff that goes on with the clients.”
“I’m sure Sebastian would tell you if you asked him.”
I shake my head. “No, he wouldn’t. He plays things pretty close to his chest.”
Imogen studies me for a moment. “Yes… He certainly does.”
I can tell there’s more behind her tone than meets the eye. And it’s hard not to resent the fact that he can clearly open up to these two women when he can barely look me in the eye.
Daniel
How are things going up there? Settling in okay?
Lily
Yeah. Annika took me shopping and for a facial. She seems nice.
Daniel
Good. You deserve to be spoiled. And Annika is great. Be prepared to have made a new best friend, because she won’t take no for an answer.
Lily
Ha. Yeah, she seems like a force of nature.
Daniel
And how are things with Sebastian?
Lily
Aside from when he forced me to go shopping and then forced me to eat lunch? We haven’t really talked much.
Daniel
Just remember, I’m always here, Lil. Message me anytime you need anything.
Lily
I will. And thank you. For everything.
Daniel
Anything for you.