Chapter 32 Absolute Force Of Nature
ABSOLUTE FORCE OF NATURE
LILY
Annika swans into the studio on Thursday morning with her hair piled on top of her head, wearing activewear so skimpy it may as was well just be underwear.
“How was your pilates class?” I ask, pausing the music to take a water break.
“Fabulous, as always. It does wonders for my flexibility,” she says, raising her voice.
Through the open door, I spy Connell racking up weights after his workout, shaking his head, even though his face is turning a rather interesting shade of red.
“Still hoping that reminding him how flexible you are will get you another spin in the sack, huh?” I ask with grin, careful to keep my voice low.
Just because she’s fine with embarrassing the man, doesn’t mean I need to jump on the bandwagon. Connell and I have had a few conversations this week since I started using the studio around the same time as his workouts. He seems really nice, albeit not particularly chatty.
And every time Annika has appeared to visit me, his eyes have lingered for a few moments before he shakes it off and turns away. I’d love to know what the story is there, but it’s obvious that although he has feelings for her, he is set on keeping her at arms length.
Given Sebastian is still yet to actually fuck me once in the last five days since he agreed to help me, I can completely relate to Annika’s annoyance when she screws up her nose and shakes her head.
“Nothing. I may as well be a freaking nun for all the good it’s done me.”
I almost spit my water out as I laugh. “Annika… I don’t think anyone could ever mistake you for a nun.”
She grins. “True. Lucky I get to fuck for a living, otherwise I’d be frustrated as all hell right now.” She flicks a look over her shoulder, but Connell doesn’t turn around.
She turns back to face me with a sigh. “Insufferable man.”
I give her a sympathetic smile as I reach for the my towel to wipe my face.
I’ve been practicing for two hours now, having finally been brave enough to try and choreograph a new routine.
It’s sloppy and nowhere near good enough for anyone else’s eyes, but it feels good to have pushed past my mental block from the weekend.
“Anyway, enough about Irishmen who refuse to acknowledge that I was the best fuck of his life,” Annika says, bouncing on the balls of her feet.
Over her shoulder, I see Connell’s head whip around, but when he meets my gaze, he grimaces before turning to walk out of the gym. Guess he’s had enough for this round.
Annika doesn’t appear to notice his retreat, continuing to talk to me without looking behind her. “We’re having a movie night downstairs tonight at seven.”
“Oh? Is the club not open tonight?” I ask, surprised.
She shakes her head. “No. We have the last Thursday of every month as a staff only night. It’s kind of like a staff meeting, but really, it’s just all of us hanging out without having to be up until the early hours of the morning.”
Normally when I’ve hung out with the women as a group, it’s been close to midnight, and it’s hard to get everyone at once, because at least one of them is caught up with clients each night.
Annika seems to have the most normal work hours, and I’m not sure how she swung that, but it’s made it easier to spend more time with her than the others.
Imogen also works slightly less crazy hours, but travels a fair bit, so we’ve only hung out a few times.
“Cool. What’s the movie?” I ask.
Annika shrugs. “No idea. It’s Dante’s night to pick. His choices are always interesting, though.”
“Okay. Well, it’s not like I have anything else going on. Other than you and Imogen, and when he isn’t avoiding me, Sebastian, I have no one else to hang out with.”
Since Monday morning, Sebastian has been around even less than normal.
I think our little excursion on Sunday night spooked him.
The haunted way he’d watched me dance on Monday morning stirred up feelings I’ve been trying to push aside.
He was so adamant that there could be nothing between us outside of this arrangement, but I saw the emotions in his eyes.
It mirrors the same emotions I’ve been dealing with since we came back into each other’s lives.
I’d hoped seeking him out on Tuesday night would force him to acknowledge that there is more between us, but then Imogen and Cam showed up.
And while I very much enjoyed that experience, it left me feeling more confused than ever.
We’ve had three opportunities for him to fuck me now, and he’s done everything but slide his cock inside me.
“Well, that’s rather depressing, although I am awesome, so at least you have good taste in friends. Have you done any research on university courses yet?” Annika asks.
Having been lost in thought, it takes me a moment to remember what we were talking about.
“Oh. Yeah. Sebastian messaged last night to tell me to use his laptop to start looking at courses. I actually applied for a few. But the semester has already started, so I can’t really do anything for a few months. It felt good to have a plan, though. Even if nothing ever comes from it,” I say.
Annika cocks her head to the side as she studies me. “Why don’t you think anything would come of it?”
I shrug. “Well, I mean… It’s been eight years since I quit.
I’ve never had a job and know nothing about running a business, so I’m not sure I have any chance of pulling this off, even if I do get in to one of the courses I applied for.
I’d have to audition to get in for the fine arts degree, too, and I’m so out of shape. ”
Annika frowns. “Lily. I one hundred percent believe that you can do this. And Sebastian obviously believes in you too, or he wouldn’t have encouraged you to apply.
And as for the business stuff - of course you don’t know how to run a business.
But that’s what you’ll learn at university.
And, if you haven’t noticed, Sebastian runs like a thousand businesses, so I think, even if you just focused on dance and teaching, you’d be able to get his help with the business stuff.
Or Daniel would help. You’ve got a support network now, so use it. ”
I stare at her for a moment. I hadn’t really considered asking either of the DeLuca brothers for their help on the business side.
To be honest, it all just feels like a pipe dream.
Something to get my mind off the mess that my life still is, despite the fact that I’ve been hidden away inside the world of Dark Desires for the last four months.
Eventually, I sigh. “It doesn’t really matter, because no bank is going to give me money for a business.”
Annika scowls. “Guess you better just give up now, then.”
“Hey,” I say, annoyed.
She crosses her arms as she stares me down. “Well, you’ve clearly decided you’re going to fail before you even try, so why bother, right?”
I glare at her. “I see what you’re doing, you know.”
“What, believing in you? Trying to make you realise that this self doubt is all just a by-product of your shitty parents and arsehole ex-husband?” She pauses, tapping her finger against her bicep as she thinks.
“You know, you actually have a lot in common with Imogen on that front, now that I think about it. But she refused to let those arseholes tear her down. Come with me,” she says, grabbing my hand and pulling me along behind her.
I don’t bother resisting, having learned it’s just best to go along with Annika’s plans. It’s going to happen, either way.
She drags me all the way up the stairs and down the hall to Sebastian and Imogen’s office.
“Where are we going? Sebastian isn’t even here,” I ask.
“He got back like an hour ago,” she says over her shoulder, before barging into the office without knocking.
I don’t even have time to process the fact that he’s back without me even knowing before freezing in the open doorway.
Annika, however, barely reacts to the scene before us. Sebastian has Imogen bent over his desk, her bare arse directly in line with his face. He’s fully clothed, but it’s obvious from the blissed out look on her face that she’s just had an epic orgasm.
Neither of them even flinches at our sudden arrival, and I wonder just how often people walk in on the two of them fucking.
Still frozen in place, I feel my face heat up.
I don’t know why I’m reacting this way, given what happened the last time the three of us were together in this office, but something has me feeling off balance.
It’s obviously just me, though, because Annika moves to stand beside the desk, completely unfazed.
“Im, I need your help to talk sense into this woman,” Annika says, watching her best friend straighten and smooth her skirt back down.
“Oh?” Imogen says, glancing between the two of us.
Despite clearly having been in the middle of something when we busted in here, she seems completely unbothered, without a single hair out of place and her make up perfectly done. I have no idea how I look after an orgasm, but I doubt it’s half as good as her.
Finally looking at Sebastian, I find him studying me closely, a concerned expression on his face that he immediately hides behind his usual mask of indifference.
I can tell he’s trying to work out how I’m feeling about what was obviously just happening.
I doubt he can figure it out though, because I’m still not entirely sure how I’m feeling about what I’ve just walked in on.
Is this jealousy?
No, I don’t think that’s what this is. I had no issues seeing Sebastian with Declan or Cam. And I wasn’t upset when I knew he’d slept with Annika on Sunday morning.
So what is this feeling then?
I wrench my gaze away from Sebastian’s to tune back into the conversation.
Annika is explaining how I’ve obviously decided I won’t succeed, so have given up - which isn’t entirely true.
I’ve only sort of given up.
Annika finishes her explanation and Imogen raises an eyebrow while I brace myself for a tongue lashing.
But she surprises me.