14. Chapter 14
I arrived back at my hotel room, just in time for the sunset. I peeled off my dirty clothes off onto the tile in front of the door, so I wouldn’t track the forest into the room. I checked my phone for any missed calls. Hoping Willow found something else, but all the missed calls were from William.
I sighed.
I could guess what happened. His pretty young thing got a whiff of who he was and threw his ass to the curb. Now he was crawling back to the person who always forgave him. The one who always broke, so he never had to bend.
I bit my lip.
What if he treated me like the shadow did?
If he couldn’t stand to keep his hands to himself. Kisses on my shoulder, because he felt like it. Imaginary orgasms that made my entire body quiver.
What if for one singular second, he treated me like I was special?
Tears rolled down my cheeks before I could stop them. The saliva in my throat became thick and hard to swallow.
Why did I tolerate him for so long?
You know the answer to that.
Because the second my mother abandoned me on my aunt’s porch and never looked back was when I decided I wasn’t worthy of love.
Yeah, therapy was great. Now I understood why I did things without understanding how to solve the root problem.
Where did she end up?
Don’t ask yourself questions like that. You won’t like the answer.
She never looked back. I shouldn’t either.
I wasn’t a bad kid. I didn’t deserve that. I worked hard to get where I was, and I wouldn’t let her or an ungrateful man distract from what I’d accomplished.
I was worthy.
I fought in battles that would make both of them piss themselves. They weren’t worthy of me.
That thought hurt more than I was prepared for. My hands shook, and I found my breathing coming in heavy wheezes. My lungs refused to fully expand so I could get a solid breath.
“Fuck.”
I stumbled into the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face, and closed my eyes. Deep breaths.
In.
It shouldn’t take so much effort to do something so basic.
Out.
Was that girl prettier? Or was she simply better than me?
In.
No. She was easier to manipulate. That doesn’t make her better. That makes her weaker.
Out.
No one will ever love you.
In.
That’s not true.
Out.
Willow and Esme love you. Aunt Jackie loved you. That monster out there treats you better than any man, because he knows what you’re worth.
The next breath came easier and helped ease the next one. Until I was calm again.
I realized too late that arms were wrapped around me.
My eyes opened and found a blurred shadow in the reflection. I turned to face him, and as I did, the shadows tucked themselves in until they were the shape of the man.
“What are you?”
“So much fire.” His fingers grazed my throat lovingly. “Anyone who makes a tear fall from your eyes will burn.”
“Answer me.” I shoved at him, but my hand went right through. How could he be so solid when he touched me, but I couldn’t get a hand on him?
I reached into my pocket, grabbed a handful of black pepper, then tossed it at his face. It went right through him, landing on the tile like rain.
Another failure.
It made my throat tight again. Was he created just to fuck with me?
“I can ease your pain. The way you ease mine.” His gentle whisper made the morning before fill my mind. He grabbed my chin, pressing me against the sink counter. “Or I can kill your husband. He has no place with you anymore, anyway.”
“I decide that. Not you.” Although it probably needed to be Esme’s decision or something. Someone who wouldn’t let me fold after everything he’d done to me.
“I won’t allow it.” A soft growl filled his words. “He’s a weak man and a weaker husband.”
“For all you know, I deserved to be left.”
“Never,” he whispered in my ear.
The broken part of me quivered under his declaration.
“Stop.” I wasn’t strong enough to keep him at arm’s length.
“No human man could contain you.” He turned my face to whisper in my ear again. “Why should you shrink? You should be with someone who can handle all that fire.”
“Like you?” I tried to sound sarcastic, but it came out breathless.
“Only me.”
His hand traveled down my thigh, and before I thought about it, I braced my leg on the wall, giving him access to me.
Wait, stop.
“My dandelion.” His fingers squeezed the meat of my thigh as his hands came back up.
His lips landed on mine as his fingers rubbed across my clit. This time he didn’t fumble or explore. He knew exactly how to turn me to putty in his hands, confirming that the dream was real, at least to some extent.
I let out a sigh, closed my eyes, and let my head fall back. My hand reached to grab the back of his head, wanting him impossibly closer, but my hand fell to my chest when I failed to touch him.
That was fine.
He was already pressed tight against my overheated skin, cooling me off with the chill that followed him around. All I could feel was him.
Every stroke of his fingers made a knot in my gut grow tighter and tighter. I thrust my hips against his hand, sending myself careening over the edge. The tidal wave of pleasure washed away all the self doubt about whether or not I was good enough.
This monster that could snap me in two thought I was.
That was enough, if only for a moment.
“That’s it.” His ragged voice made every nerve in my body shake. His fingers dipped lower, plunging inside me.
The overwhelming touch snapped my eyes open. It was too much and not enough all at once. My body wouldn’t listen to my commands anymore. “Too much.”
In the mirror, he still held the shape of a man, but underneath the black shadow, there were lines of white flashing beneath the surface. Like bone or a manifestation of his soul. It highlighted that he had no eyes or mouth and sent unease down my spine.
It also made my pussy clench around his fingers and a filthy moan pour from my lips.
“There’s no such thing as too much.” He chuckled darkly, making the lights flicker.
What are you letting a monster do to you?
There was absolutely a thing as too much, but when I tried to pop off that witty retort all that came out were moans.
I grabbed where his hips were, trying to uselessly pull him forward. I adjusted my hips, trying to get his cock instead of his fingers.
I needed the weird obsession he had. No matter what the cost was later.
“Please,” I begged shamelessly. “More.”
“I thought it was already too much.” He didn’t even have a mouth and I could feel his smirk.
I slapped the air where his face was, annoyed that I couldn’t get my point across. Fucker.
This was what he wanted wasn’t it? To have me falling to pieces, begging for him.
I flew through the air. Before I could even make sense of what happened, I bounced on my stomach across the bed.
He was between my thighs in a second.
Yes!
My hips thrust back against him. This time he was quick to put his body against me. His cock wedged between my ass cheeks. Something about it wasn’t quite right, but from the position it was hard and cylindrical, that was all that really mattered.
When I looked over my shoulder, his shape crawled like he was barely holding his facade together. That he was something close to a man, when we both knew he wasn’t.
“Beautiful Dandelion.” His words were gentle, even as his hand pressed my face into the pillows. I didn’t bother fighting. I wanted to pretend he was human, too.
His breathing stuttered as something slithered inside of me. It was foreign and strange, but once it tapped my G-spot I was beyond caring. I was too busy seeing stars fill my eyes. More and more of him filled me, until I was sure I’d explode.
Surely, he’d give me everything he could.
Something else rubbed over my clit as his cock moved in and out of me. His bruising grip held my hips in place while he pistoned faster.
The pillows muffled my shameful cries of pleasure. “Fuck, yes.”
My mind grew fuzzy, like I was drunk. Why did I ever want to kill him?
Sharp pain dragged across the back of my neck, but the pleasure soaked up the pain, until I was screaming my peak. Even my hair clenched as I rode through the most soul shattering pleasure of my life.
His hand on my hips tightened harder, as if someone might take me away from him.
As the aftershocks rocked through me, I entertained the idea that I was his forever. The fact I could never escape his grasp and nothing was strong enough to overpower him made my body quiver uncontrollably.
Was I really considering this?
My eyes dropped heavily. Had I ever been this satisfied before?
I gasped awake and found sunlight filtering through the window. I let out a ragged breath as I thought about the dream. I must have passed out once I got back.
I had to quit thinking about the thing I was hunting like this.
My ancestors would be ashamed of me.
Fuck if I wasn’t throbbing to be touched like that though. I rolled over onto my back, trying to get my panting under control.
The desire coursing through me was impossible to ignore. It felt like I’d been taken to the edge and left hanging.
A little fantasy never hurt anyone.
I reached between my thighs. There was no way I could focus with my clit throbbing like a greedy bitch.
Once my fingers made contact, I realized something wet and warm coated the entire area between my thighs. Guess that dream was wetter than I thought. I pulled my hand back and found thick black ooze covering it.
A scream tried to go up my throat, but it came out strangled in alarm instead. My vocal cords refused to work.
It wasn’t a dream at all.
I felt movement inside me and froze.
I realized too late a weight was on me, and something was still moving deep inside me.
“You kept begging for me in your sleep,” he said, as if that was an explanation, but I couldn’t see him. The darkness in the room was so thick I couldn’t see past my nose. It was like he was everywhere. “I couldn’t leave you in distress, Dandelion. Not with you saying my name like that.”
He’d kept going while I was asleep. His hips slammed against me, and he growled in a way that made my entire soul shake.
“Wait,” I whispered, trying to get my thoughts together. Was I okay with this? I was supposed to be angry. Right?
So why was it, when he paused, I was already tilting my hips to meet the next thrust.
Fingers caressed the back of my neck, and what little resistance I had left me with a groan. “Fuck me.”
His fingers wrapped around my wrist, pulling it to my mouth. I opened my lips without thinking, accepting my fingers. Before I could think about it, I sucked on them. My eyes went wide as I realized what I’d done.
I tasted myself and something distinctly him, darkness and death. We tasted perfect together. We were everything fucked up in the world. I ran my tongue from my palm to the tip of my fingers and his hips snapped into me, the movement teetering on the edge of violent and painful.
It was perfect.
A few thrusts and the orgasm hit me like a train that didn’t stop coming. I moaned loud enough that I’d probably get a noise complaint. I didn’t think saying, “the shadows of the room fucked me too good,” would be a legitimate excuse.
My muscles locked and tried to curl in on myself, but something heavy kept my thighs pinned. Tears of pleasure rolled down my cheeks. I could swear something wet licked them away.
Orgasms rolled into one after another, until I lost count and couldn’t tell where one ended and the next began. It was all a smear of overwhelming pleasure.
I wasn’t sure how much time passed before he let out a growl and a hot fluid painted my insides to drip down my thighs. Like I was already too full to handle anything else.
I lay there with my chest heaving and my face hot. His growling lowered into a pleased grumble, and his fingers caressed my neck, like we hadn’t ruined anything innocent and soft between us.
Fuck was it delicious though.
He slowly pulled out of me, and I could feel how his cock was formless, pouring out of me like a fog. Once he was finally out of my body, I was immediately cold and empty.
It made me want to cry and whine for him to come back.
Just like he said I’d shamelessly done in my sleep.
I shivered uncontrollably, bringing attention to the way every muscle screamed of overuse. So many thoughts went through my mind that I couldn’t get a grasp on one to process it.
Every nerve felt abused and overused in the best way.
Had he been fucking me all night?
And I hadn’t even woken up?
The blanket came up over me, and I felt his presence settle against my side.
What did I do?
Why did I want to do it again?
He’d ruined me. I couldn’t come back from this.