17. Chapter 17
I woke up and made myself coffee, sitting down at the table.
Why did I miss his non-existent hands on me?
I saw those lights flicker. Where was he? My mind might have tricked me to remind me how much I liked his presence.
Fucked up, didn’t begin to describe me.
I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to get my shit together before popping my prescription drugs, hoping they made me semi-normal again. That I’d quit looking to a literal shadow for validation.
Therapy. Lots of therapy.
Maybe I needed to take a long sabbatical. I could go sunbathe on a beach without scanning the water for something that wanted to eat me. Witches and the ocean didn’t mix well. Everything in there was older than our magic.
But a vacation couldn’t hurt.
I’d seen every corner of this country. This time I could experience it for fun.
Could I even do that?
What was stopping me?
Hunters didn’t take time off. When we did people died. I’d already agreed to go home. I’d start there, get my mind right, and come up with some kind of plan after that.
I grabbed my duffle bag and tossed it over my shoulder. Every step to load my truck was heavy, like someone tied weights to my ankles. I shut the back cab door and sighed.
I was never a fan of leaving a job incomplete, but this was different.
He was a monster that could end me, and I had absolutely nothing to defend myself with. This was the best decision.
How did Margaret Rinah die? Why did he come unglued when I asked about her?
It didn’t matter anymore.
The hunt was over.
A loud boom, coming from the room beside mine, caught my attention. Gunfire.
The maid ran out screaming, “He’s got a gun.”
I leaped into action without a second thought, running into the room. A man was on the bed with the shotgun in his mouth. Wet strands of brain stuck to the wall as fresh blood dripped over the chunks. The scent of gunpowder and metal filled the air.
My stomach turned sour as the realization that there was nothing left to save hit me full force. It also confirmed what I suspected last night.
The silence in the room was fabricated.
I never escaped.
And another person was dead because of it.
“How are you here?” I let out a defeated sigh.
The shadows in the room pulled together until he stood before me. “I’m with you. Every step you take.”
I swallowed harshly as the implications of his words sank in. There was nowhere I could go.
Followed by indignant anger that I had no business feeling. Not when my intent was to escape. “Where have you been?”
“You needed space.” He shrugged casually, as if he hadn’t been the source of my moral quandary. “I gave you as much as I’m willing to allow.”
Which wasn’t space. It was the illusion that I could fall apart without him watching. The little girl’s words from the night before punched me in the gut. My lips trembled.
A monster so big even his teeth are bigger than you. “You were the monster the little girl said was over my shoulder.”
He hummed in consideration, “I have many forms.”
“Then why do you show up looking like a man?” What I wouldn’t give for a chance to smack him upside the head.
“I didn’t want to scare you,” he answered too innocently. Something told me it had less to do with my well-being. More like he was terrified I’d reject his true form.
I finally asked the question that had plagued me ever since I laid eyes on him. “Who are you?”
“We both know you’ve already figured out that I’m Abiel Dudley.” He tilted his head to the side, but I sensed the deflection. He was right, we both knew he was Abiel Dudley.
So why was he answering the question as if I were looking for a human answer?
“What are you?” I clarified.
“The humans call me Ruin.”
I gritted my teeth together. Another deflection.
“Your fire is so…” His words turned into a needy groan that made my stomach flutter with desire that made shame course through me. As if he didn’t even have a word to describe me. His hand cupped my face, caressing my cheekbone like I was fragile instead of a hunter.
I narrowed my eyes at him, but his chuckle crawled under my skin and sank deeper inside me than I cared to admit. “What are you?”
“Something that destroys everyone he touches.” At least he gave me a small piece of information.
One that made me pause and my heart race. “Not me.”
“Except you.” The reverence in his voice touched that place inside me that quivered for more.
He stepped impossibly closer to me until there was less than an inch separating us. I tried to put a hand between us, but I went right through him. A thousand questions filled my mind, and it took a long while to settle on one. “Did a witch curse you?”
I avoided Margaret’s name, hopefully avoiding the same outburst as yesterday. It was hard to tell without a face, but I could swear disappointment wafted off of him.
“She would never hurt me.”
“My kind hurts a lot of people.” The Rinah name was a stain on this Earth.
The walls turned dingy yellow and the wood in the room darkened and crumbled. “She didn’t.”
“Yeah, right.” I rolled my eyes.
He grabbed my arm in a painful grasp that felt like a warning not to push it further. I yanked my arm, but he held firm. “One second I was a man being executed for murder, and the next thing I knew I was this.”
There was more that he was hiding.
He was a fucking liar.
“I liked you better when you were pretending you weren’t here.”
He chuckled darkly, “You don’t mean that.”
I hated that he was right.
“I’m not going to be her replacement.” I spat the words with more venom than I could have thought possible, and I wasn’t even sure why I said them.
I wasn’t competing with a witch from hundreds of years ago.
I shouldn’t have been competing. Period.
That didn’t stop the rage that boiled over.
Before I could say the next words full of fury, his lips landed on mine. I jerked away, but he held me in place. His lips encouraged my tense mouth to relax. I fought to hold onto my anger, even trying to bite him.
But my body melted into him when his arms wrapped around me.
Damn it. He was comfortable.
Which was the stupidest thought possible.
“Jealousy looks good on you,” he said once I was breathless. His voice carried the edge of a growl that made me shake with desire. “But ‘tis unnecessary.”
My face grew hot. What the fuck was wrong with me?
I opened my mouth to reject the notion that I was jealous. Even if it was a bold-faced lie.
Red and blue lights flashed through the window, and he vanished. But I knew he wasn’t gone. Emergency personnel filled the room, but I stood there like a confused shell, staring at the empty spot where he’d previously stood.
I was the only person he couldn’t destroy.
My eyes went to the poor man who’d blown his own brainpan out. Regret roiled through me. He was only dead because I was here.
What did that mean for everyone else?