32. Chapter 32
Abiel turned to me, stalking in a way that reminded me of a wolf. Every thundering step made me quiver. He towered over me like I was nothing more than an ant. He could finish me off with a swipe of one claw.
There was never one single moment where I ever stood a chance.
I was lucky he hadn’t outright killed me the moment he laid eyes on me. I hung my head, not meeting his gaze. I didn’t try to fight or run.
This was all in his deadly hands.
The growls vibrating around me didn’t suggest that anything was in my favor.
“I’m sorry I ran.” My voice cracked. I wasn’t even sure he heard me over his own footsteps, but he deserved an explanation. “It’s what I do.”
My muscles grew tight as I waited for the execution I could only hope was painless. I was only fair after what I did to him.
“You left me.” The calm accusation, with the threatening growl in his voice, cut deeper than the hat man did. I’d have preferred he roared at me about what a traitorous bitch I was.
The silence afterwards echoed deep.
The woman terrified of abandonment was usually the first to leave.
Tears trickled down my cheeks to land on the busted ground. Snot and blood filled my nose, and I was sure I smelled like sweat and regret. This wasn’t how a hunter witch of the Rinah clan was supposed to go out, but it was raw honesty. “I know. Do what you must.”
His hand lifted and I recoiled, preparing myself for what was coming. Forgive me, sisters. Can you feel me, Willow? Don’t kill yourself avenging someone who did this to themselves.
Sharp claws wrapped around me. Each blade lined nail threatened to eviscerate me, squeezing tight enough they dug against my skin. Every vital organ one tight grasp away from obliteration.
He lifted me, making me gasp as the blades finally cut skin. My stomach lurched into my throat, making bile rise as I went higher than I thought possible. My car on the ground grew smaller by the second.
Oh fuck.
Was he just going to throw me across the state park? That sounded like it would hurt.
When I squirmed, his fingers tightened enough to pierce my skin. Once we were face to face, his eyes narrowed on me with irritation that sent shame down to my toes.
Who knew what damage I’d done? Just to push him away.
So I wouldn’t have to come to grips with myself.
I glued my eyes on his fingers, pretending to be fascinated by the serrated claws pressed tight to my body. One clenched fist and that would be game over.
“I don’t leave your side,” his deep voice threatened, resonating in that place where my chest throbbed angrily. His giant teeth unnerved me more than I cared to admit.
Maybe he’d just eat me.
But I decided it was time to be blunt, and I wasn’t backing down now.
“I can’t promise you that.” I didn’t even know who I was anymore. How could I promise anything?
I needed to fix myself, and I admitted it too late.
“I didn’t ask for a promise,” he said matter-of-factly. “If you run, I will catch you.”
My heart fluttered with hope that I tried to squash before it could hurt me. “What are you saying?”
Please don’t be cruel, even if I deserve it. If you’re going to toss me aside, just do it.
He pulled me closer to his mouth. I couldn’t even fight him without killing myself in his claws.
This was it.
Eaten by a monster.
Could be worse, I guess.
I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see.
His mouth pressed against the length of my body. His growl vibrated every inch of my skin. I froze waiting for the death that didn’t come.
My eyes snapped open only to figure out he was kissing me. The gaping hole in my chest eased and became more bearable. Then he gently clutched me to his neck.
“My Dandelion. I can’t ruin you, because you are already ruined.”
Don’t say that.
There was hope for me. I wasn’t so broken that I was decayed beyond repair.
I opened my mouth to argue, but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead the silence lingered between us for long painful seconds as his words really sunk in and clicked into place.
There it was.
The truth that I’d been running from all this time. That no matter how good I was, no matter how much I tried, no matter how far backwards I bent, this was who I really was beneath the mask.
He could have shot me in the heart, and it would have hurt less. The brutal truth I didn’t want to hear. Especially not from him.
A sob broke from my chest.
I wanted to get angry. To tell him to go fuck himself. That I refused to be talked to like that by him, but he was right.
I wasn’t immune to him because I was special. It was because there was nothing left of me to ruin.
I hated that I couldn’t deny it anymore.
“And you can’t destroy me, because I’m already destroyed,” he rumbled.
My eyes snapped up to his face and my breathing stopped.
What?
No, I’d break him.
But he was broken long before I walked into that forest.
“That’s why you're perfect for me.” His teeth snapped together loudly, as if to dare me to argue, making me tremble in his deadly grasp.
Years of crushing expectations lifted off my shoulders. The relief was instantaneous. For the first time in years, breathing came easier. I felt lighter even with blood oozing from his claws where his grip was on the edge of too tight.
He knew what I was.
I knew what he was.
Neither of us were going to change.
Facing the brutal truth wasn’t so bad, when the other person never expected perfection from me. He was okay with what I was. He didn’t expect anything else from me.
This was a horrible idea for the rest of the world.
We’d ruin everything in our wake.
It went against everything I once stood for.
It meant sacrificing everything.
Willow might dismiss me for good. Aunt Jackie would roll in her grave. I’d prove to my mother that she was right to abandon me.
A lifetime of good deeds tarnished as I walked down the same road I said I never would.
What would I turn into? It didn’t matter.
I chose us anyway.