Chapter 36
CHAPTER
The lake was still again, rippling softly around us. My breathing had finally begun to steady, though my body still hummed from everything we’d done.
Malakai hadn’t let go of me, not completely. One hand stroked lazily down my spine, while the other rested possessively at my hip as though daring the night to take me away from him.
For a long while, neither of us spoke. The silence wasn’t heavy, though, it was grounding.
“You’re quiet,” he said at last, his voice a low rumble against my temple.
I let out a shaky breath and tilted my head to meet his eyes. “I was just thinking.”
“Dangerous habit.” His mouth curved in a small, teasing grin, but it softened almost immediately. “What about?”
I hesitated, tracing a finger along his jawline, feeling him lean into it. “About… everything. About the war. About how stupid it all feels… fighting each other, because of what? Being different, is that such a bad thing?”
His expression shifted, his grin fading into something more thoughtful.
“I don’t want to hide anymore,” I said, the words spilling out before I could stop them. “Not from who I am. Not from what I feel about you and not from what we’re fighting for.”
Malakai’s hand stilled on my back, then slid to cup the back of my neck, his thumb brushing my damp hair. “You can stop the war.”
I nodded. “I want to stop all of it. Mages and humans, the starvation, the lack of understanding… we should be one.”
For a moment, I thought he might laugh, call me naive. Instead, he was quiet, his eyes locked on mine in the silver light.
“You’ll unite them,” he said slowly, like he tasted the thought. “Mages and ungifted alike, and you’ll have me at your side.”
“Will I?” I asked softly.
That earned me a small, sharp grin, but there was something achingly honest in it this time.
“Part demon or not, I’ll follow you,” he said simply. “Into battle, into fire. Into hell itself, if that’s where you’re going. You should know that by now.”
The words hit harder than I expected, my chest tightening.
“You don’t feel anything for them?” I asked. “The demons?”
His grin faded, replaced by something darker, more vulnerable.
“I used to,” he admitted. “I thought they were smart, using the mage’s ignorance to take over, how they seemed stronger without tethering themselves to emotions.
And maybe I hated humans because they reminded me of my weaknesses, of what I’ll never truly be.
” His gaze softened, his thumb brushing over my cheek.
“But then you… you embraced what you were, despite your fear of being rejected. Even when you tried to hide it, I saw how badly you wanted to… simply live. And you made me want that, too, consequences be damned.”
My throat tightened, and I leaned into his touch.
“What about… your father?” I asked, my voice low, filled with hesitation.
He became still, but there was no tension. “I’ve never met him.”
“What if… we run into him?” I turned my head to study him, but Malakai was the picture of calm.
“Aren’t you curious of why he left?”
His lips curved, a half-smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Curious? Hm. I think you’re more curious than I am.”
I blushed. “That’s not—”
“It is,” he cut in lightly, teasing. “You want to know if I’d confront him, demand answers. Maybe you imagine some grand reunion?” He shook his head, amused. “I’m afraid I’d disappoint you.”
“So you’d do nothing?”
“Maybe.” His tone was easy, but the pause that followed lingered longer than it should have. “Or maybe I’d ask him why he left me his eyes but not his presence.” He glanced at me, catching my reaction, and let out a quiet laugh. “See? Now you’ve got me entertaining the thought.”
There was a flicker of honesty beneath the calm, that he quickly tucked away.
“If I ever saw him…” Malakai leaned back slightly, gaze lifting as if to dismiss the weight of the subject. “I don’t know what I’d feel, and that’s the truth.” Then his eyes returned to me, steady, softer now, his voice dropping lower.
“But if you’re beside me…” His mouth quirked, just enough to tease. “Maybe, I’d actually want to find out.”
His hand lifted almost absently, fingers brushing a stray lock of hair from my face. The faintest smirk tugged at his lips.
I caressed his cheek, and he leaned into it again, enjoying it.
“But let’s focus on the task ahead,” he said calmly.
“You’ll help me?” I asked, barely more than a whisper.
His grin returned, sharp and sure. “Sweetie, I’d burn the world down if you asked me to.”
A startled laugh escaped me, even as my heart twisted at the truth in his words.
“Let’s not burn it down,” I said with a faint smile, pressing my forehead against his. “Let’s try to fix it instead.”
His chuckle rumbled through his chest as he kissed me softly, reverently.
“Then we’ll fix it,” he said. “But first, we should probably get out of this lake, before the others come looking for us.”
I sighed, reluctant to move, but he was right. As he helped me out of the water and back to the shore, I realised that for the first time in a long while, the future didn’t feel quite so impossible.
By the time we made it back to camp, the fires had burned low, and most of the wounded were either asleep or quietly resting. The air still smelled of blood and healing herbs, but the worst of the chaos had settled.
Of course, that didn’t mean we were safe from the other kind of chaos.
Ashley was the first to spot us. She was crouched near one of the fires, polishing what was probably her fifteenth blade of the night, tasking herself with sharpening every mage’s dagger in the camp, for fear that anyone else might do it wrong.
When she saw me, her eyes narrowed, not suspiciously, but in the way a cat narrows its eyes when it smells something interesting.
“Well, well,” she hummed, leaning back on her heels. “Look who finally crawled back.”
I felt my face heat, but before I could respond, Malakai casually dropped down against a tree close to where she was seated, stretching out his long legs like he owned the place.
“No crawling involved,” he said smoothly, his blank face making it even worse, as my blush spread.
“Malakai!” I hissed, smacking his shoulder.
He caught my wrist with infuriating ease and pressed a kiss to my knuckles, smug as ever. “What? You told me you didn’t want to hide anymore.”
Ashley’s grin turned feral. “Oh, this is going to be fun.”
“Fun?” Nate scoffed from across the fire, his usual grin firmly in place. “Is that what we’re calling sneaking off for a moment now? Because if so, I’ve been having loads of fun whenever I go to take a piss.”
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. “You’re impossible.”
“Impossible to ignore,” Nate said proudly, earning himself a withering look from Mey, who was playing with water from a pouch, making it swirl between her fingers.
“Gods, Nate,” she said, rolling her eyes. “If you’re jealous, just say so.”
Nate choked, nearly dropping the piece of bread he’d been chewing on.
“Jealous?! Of him?” He pointed at Malakai, who raised a brow, clearly entertained.
Ashley snorted. “Please, Nate would rather choke on his own bad jokes than admit he has feelings for anyone.”
“I don’t have feelings for anyone!” Nate said quickly. “Not those kinds of feelings.”
Mey smirked, far too pleased with herself.
“Mhm, that’s why you were glued to Ashley’s side earlier?
Making sure she didn’t trip over every root because she can’t see a damned thing in the dark?
And what about when you tackled her out of the way during the ambush? I’m sure that was a coincidence, too.”
“That was—” Nate sputtered, turning scarlet. “I was just doing my job!”
Ashley froze for a second, caught off guard. “You… noticed I couldn’t see?”
Nate blinked at her, still red. “Obviously I noticed. Someone has to keep you from breaking your neck out there.”
Ashley’s mouth opened, then snapped shut.
“That doesn’t mean anything!” she blurted, louder than necessary.
“It means he’s sweet on you,” Mey said happily, going back to her water as if she hadn’t lobbed a live grenade into the conversation.
Ashley turned an alarming shade of red. “I am not… he is not… WE are not anything!”
Nate threw his hands up. “Exactly! I was just being nice! To someone who is, clearly, helpless in the dark!”
“Helpless?” Ashley rounded on him. “You’re lucky I’m not throwing you into the fire right now!”
Their bickering grew louder, both of them looking offended at the mere suggestion they might care about each other.
I sank down on the log next to Malakai, unable to hold back a laugh now. He looked at me sideways, a smug curve to his mouth.
“See?” he murmured under his breath, just for me. “We’re not the only ones with secrets.”
I elbowed him lightly, but I was smiling.
Their voices faded into the background as Ashley and Nate kept arguing, their flustered denials sounding more and more like confessions the longer they went.
Malakai leaned towards me slightly, his shoulder brushing mine. “You’re swaying,” he murmured under the noise of the camp.
I blinked, realizing too late that he was right. My legs felt shaky, my body still heavy with exhaustion.
“I’m fine,” I said automatically, but he gave me a look that made it very clear he didn’t believe me for a second.
“Sweetie,” he hummed, as if it was his new favorite word. “You damn near burned yourself out earlier. Go on, rest; I’ll keep watch.”
I hesitated. “It wasn’t that—”
He tilted his head, his grin returning, softer this time, almost fond. “I meant helping the wounded, whatever were you thinking of, kitten?”
My mouth snapped closed, cursing myself for jumping to conclusions.
“Now, shut it and sleep.”
He wasn’t wrong.
With a small, tired scoff, I nodded. “Fine, but wake me if anything happens.”
“I’ll wake you,” he promised. Then, leaning closer, his voice dropped so only I could hear it. “And when you wake up, I wouldn’t mind if you wanted another stretch.”
Heat flared in my face at the memory, and he chuckled darkly, clearly pleased with my reaction.
“I’d rather stretch with a short sword, and possibly stab you,” I snapped, as I began to stand up and move to a bedroll.
His hand gripped my wrist, pulling me back down.
“Sweetie, swords aren’t for stabbing,” he whispered. “They’re for thrusting.”
I swung my open hand out, aiming to hit him in the head, but he stopped me right before.
“Go on,” he sneered, nodding towards his shoulder. “Before I change my mind and drag you off somewhere less public to blow off more steam.”
I rolled my eyes, but my heart pounded, as I leaned in and placed my head against his shoulder.
His lips pressed against my hair, and I felt a sudden safety.