10. Ember
Ember
No words described how I felt the next morning.
Not only had my body refused to wake up from whatever coma Silas put me in, but my mind kept trying to convince us that we should be mad about it.
Were we?
No.
Especially not when all my focus was needed just to move.
Every muscle of my body seemed unconcerned with the fact I needed to be able to function today.
Last night had been anything but average, and my body was still reeling from the experience.
I had walked into the club with the intent to cause some issues, but never in a million years did I expect that.
Now I found myself stuck between a wall of self-loathing and leftover ecstasy.
Accepting Silas’s demands had been a special kind of stupid in the first place, something I probably should have fought back harder against. I knew that now, considering I could still feel him in all the spots he had touched, like my skin was still burning from his grip.
I couldn’t compare that experience with him to anything else.
The way he made me feel—I had never had that reaction before, ever, to anyone. I had given him the control he so desperately sought, and I reaped many benefits because of it—nine, to be exact.
A wave of heat flooded my cheeks and suddenly, I felt stupid. Wrapping the comforter tighter around me, I buried my face into the pillow underneath me. That one word bounced around in my head. Stupid. Could I just use that as an excuse? Chalk last night up to ovulation and stupidity? No.
Before I entered the club last night, I had made decisions I knew would push every one of his buttons. Every choice was intentional, and it all started the moment I asked the receptionist for a different mask. So I couldn't blame this on stupidity. I knew what I was getting myself into.
Thinking about it now, I probably could’ve handled things differently.
I could have went in with the full intention of just doing my job.
However, that’s not what I’d wanted. I wanted to do my job and see him suffer, to beg.
Two steps into the club last night, and I was a goner.
My camera was instantly out, and I was capturing shots I never thought possible.
I’d instantly been transported to heaven, operating on pure adrenaline by the time Silas showed up.
I squeezed the blanket around my head as I felt a pulse between my legs at the mention of his name.
What he had done—What had happened in that room—
Everything I hated about him had been the very things I let unravel me. The control he needed, the arrogance he always wore—every sharp edge of him repulsed me, and yet somehow, I had practically begged for them to carve into me.
I closed my eyes and tried to swallow whatever emotions were trying to form.
I had no idea what he looked like, and even more so, I’d left that room in a state of pure delusion.
He had fucked me stupid, and all I could picture now was the mask over his face.
That image, and the feelings he evoked in me while wearing it, seared into my mind.
Everything else about the night had turned hazy.
I knew Silas drove me home. I remembered him helping me into the car when my body started to feel heavy. The drive had been quiet, until he said my name once, low and certain. I also vaguely remembered a warm hand on my thigh at one point, but that could have been my imagination.
After leaving his car, the blurred fragments dissolved into nothing.
I had no idea I’d even changed my clothes.
And yet, when I shifted to look down, I was wearing my pajamas.
My eyes scanned over the tiny, frosted donuts scattered across the fabric on my body.
The irony wasn’t lost on me, in fact, it hit more like a cruel joke.
Last night, Silas uncovered a side of me that I didn’t even know existed. I’d offered myself to a man I barely knew and thought I hated, with his brother watching us from only a few feet away. Now here I sat, the very same girl, wrapped in cloth confections and absolutely no regret.
Taking a deep breath, I let myself stretch out under the thick blanket and opened my eyes to the almond-colored ceiling. Almond, a color very different from dark grey. The smoky grey that had been behind Kyrin, the color that surrounded us as we—
I pulled the blanket off me and pushed myself upright.
No. He did not get to just snap his fingers—or in this case, use them, and think he could have me.
The whole reason I was in that room to begin with was because I was proving that I was the one in control.
He had thrown me over his goddamn shoulder like a bag of trash.
He probably thought he could do that to just about anyone, and they would melt.
A familiar irritation rematerialized for him and replaced everything else that had begun to manifest. I was not that type of woman, one that he thought he could manipulate.
I was not just a toy to play with. Despite the fact that he could play really well.
Silas Solstice was the farthest thing from special, and someone needed to prove that to him. Persuading myself to never partake in anything with him again, I shifted off the bed. As I moved the blanket and turned my body, I immediately noticed something strange.
Facing my window, I noticed it was open. Not completely, but wide enough to let the air in from outside. The curtain swayed gently with the light morning breeze, as if mocking me. I straightened my spine as I watched it move again.
Ever since a rogue bird had flown into my room, I never opened that window. Not at night, not ever. In my mind, it had been glued shut.
A chill crawled up my spine as I continued to stare at it, my mind scrambling for excuses.
Maybe I had simply forgotten. Maybe Kinsley had been in here while I slept.
Maybe I’d been too out of it last night and opened it, just needing some air.
All I knew was that it couldn’t have been Silas.
There was no way. Dismissing me from his car, he had watched me just long enough to see me unlock the door. Once I closed it, he drove off.
I knew that for sure, right?
Rubbing my temples, I let myself settle on one of the explanations and forced myself to stand.
My bare feet made no sound as I crossed the room to my window and grasped the bottom of the pane.
Pulling it down, I locked it, letting my fingers pause on the latch.
After looking over it for a few more seconds, I let go and moved the few feet to my closet.
Convincing myself to forget about the window, I decided to focus on the day ahead of me and grabbed some jeans with a light blue shirt.
I had just pulled the fabric over my head when I caught a swirl of color in the corner of my eye.
Turning toward the vanity, my eyes landed on a pile of flowers that had been haphazardly laid across the top.
No vase and no wrapping, just a variety of petals and stems stacked on top of each other.
My eyes moved back toward the window as I pulled my jeans up over my hips.
Instinct kicked in, and I readied myself to yell at Kolby, the only one dumb enough to do something like this.
Opening my bedroom door, I was hit by the sweet smell of blueberry pancakes and was instantly less irritated.
Inhaling deeply, I stepped back inside my room and walked toward the vanity.
Grabbing the flowers, I simply tossed them into the trash bin before grabbing my things and leaving the room.
The sound of warm laughter echoed as I entered our kitchen to see everyone awake and already eating breakfast around the table.
Kinsley, Kolby, Bodhi, and the random members of the team all crowded together around the large wooden oval.
I watched for a moment as syrup bottles were thrown back and forth and plates were stacked high with pancakes.
“Turns out I survived last night,” I announced, setting my things on the counter and sitting down next to Kinsley.
A chorus of greetings answered back as Kinsley waved her fork at me like she didn’t want to hear anything about it.
I wanted to say more, but a blueberry hit my face, courtesy of Kolby.
When I looked up, it was clear that he was trying to grab my attention with a mouth full of food.
“He’s lucky. I would have scoured the world to find you.”
Bodhi handed me a plate, looking over at Kolby, “Dude, you can’t even find your keys half the time.”
I smiled at their banter as I accepted the plate in front of me. Setting it down, I immediately stabbed the pancake and let my eyes drift across the table. They’re met with ones of honey brown, a color belonging to one of Bodhi’s friends.
“I saw the dress you left in last night. You looked really good.”
I didn’t even get the chance to respond before Bodhi smacked him in the back of the head. “Behave.”
“Yeah?” I said, keeping my tone casual even though I was already over his whole personality.
“Yeah. Good enough that I should have given you flowers the moment I saw you,” he responded.
The wording seemed off, like he might have been the one in my room, and suddenly, I wasn’t so sure it was Kolby. “Well do me a favor and just don’t next time, okay?”
“How else is a dude supposed to try?” he asked between bites.
I didn’t respond as I let the discussion fade back into whatever they had been talking about before I’d entered.
Taking another few bites, I sat and watched the conversation around me.
I was in the middle of enjoying the exchange when I realized the honey brown eyes had yet to leave me.
Snapping my head up, I met his stare. “Can I help you with something?”
Bodhi choked on a laugh as he looked between me and his teammate. Lifting his cup, he bowed his head in introduction. “Uh. Em, this is Archer. Archer, Ember.” Taking a drink, he swallowed before adding, “Be careful, she tends to bite.”
Archer’s reply was clipped, almost void of emotion. “And what if I like to bite back?”
Two things pissed me off about that answer. First, his arrogance was undeniable—much like Silas’s. Second, I was surrounded by men who were full of themselves, and I was over it.
I stood abruptly, done with the whole conversation. Brushing crumbs from my pants, I rolled my eyes at the man across from me. “Yeah, I’m gonna pass on that.” Taking my plate to the sink, I nodded in Kolby’s direction. “Feel free to bite him. I’m willing to bet he’s into that.”
Kinsley giggled and raised her hand to offer me a high-five as I passed her. The sound of our hands colliding brought a smile to my face, which only grew wider as Kolby stuck his tongue out. A small chuckle escaped as I grabbed my items and left the room to head to the front door.
I stepped out onto our patio when I felt my foot crunch against something plastic. Looking down, I froze before pulling my leg back slowly.
More flowers.
The ones in my bedroom had been simple, almost like they’d been pulled from the ground, but these were on a completely different level.
Each bundle featured a different flower, all neatly tied together with various ribbons.
My eyes roamed over the floor, catching everything from sunflowers that were speckled with bright colors to roses that had been dusted with glitter.
Together, they covered the entire space in front of our door—hundreds of flowers, just lying there.
Scanning each one, I noticed a folded note stuck inside one of the bouquets.
Taking a quick breath, I moved my camera to my back and crouched to read over my name that was typed onto the front.
I hovered there for a few seconds, my mind drifting to Silas and the off chance he had done this.
He absolutely did not seem like that type, but then again, I didn’t even know the man's eye color.
Opening the small piece of paper, my eyes immediately moved to the seven words on the back. They were hand-written in black ink:
I will ruin you for anyone else.
Heat filled my face as I stared down at the one underlined word. To me, that was enough proof to tell me exactly who had done this. Could that mean the window might have been him too? I never outright asked Archer if he was the one who’d left the flowers in the first place.
Crumbling the paper in my hand, my mind drifted back to Silas and the fact I had already promised myself that I’d stay away from him.
My body fought back at the reminder, recalling images and feelings from last night.
Suddenly, my mind filled with his voice, and I remembered how he had been very clear that no other man would be allowed to have me.
There was no way he had been serious, right?
Standing up, I brought my foot down on the flowers, smiling when another satisfying crunch filled my ears.
I didn’t belong to anyone, and despite the fact he had quite literally destroyed me last night, that included him.
Moving out of instinct, I grabbed as many flowers as I could and walked them over to the large trash at the side of our yard.
Hurling them inside one by one, I didn’t stop until every last bouquet was gone from our porch.
Then, I straightened my bags and started toward my shoot.
Nice try, motherfucker.